LR "I can't resist when I don't know if he wants to fuck me or not"

[Jan]

This girl texted me first on Tinder. She is 26 years and has in her bio: "No ONS. No FWB".

I talked for a little bit on Tinder, then moved to Whatsapp.

The most common question I get on Tinder these days is: "So what are you looking for here?"

Of course I got this question from her and I replied "I've recently quit a long term relationship. I'm enjoying being single and just here to see what's up on this app."

She wanted to meet pretty fast so we scheduled a meeting on Saturday but she flaked. I wrote more about this flake on 'General' forum, asking "How do you punish flakes?".

The following week after the flaky Saturday, I texted her in the middle of week, during the day. The convo was very short, she asked the same question again, and I told her that "I'm not searching for anything specific." She said: "If a guy says that he doesn't search for anything, he wants sex." I replied "Haha, no". She didn't reply to this for several days.

Next Satuday, out of nowhere I get a message:

Her: "Are we going out anywhere?"
Me: "You know what? I'm in a horrible mood today. I need time to even think if I feel like meeting anyone today."
Her: "What happened if I may ask? I'm also in a dead beat mood. Maybe we can stay together and cheer ourselves."
Me: "Well, in my talking is the last thing I want to do right now."
Her: "If you want we can just stay silent. But I'm not pushing or anything..."
Me: "Interesting proposal."
Me: "Intimate."
Her: "Is it bad?"
Her: "We can also watch something together. I just don't feel like being alone right now."
Me: "Well, we will see if it's gonna be bad."
Her: "Haha, why?"
Me: "Have you ever been ona a silent date?"
Her: "Haha, no but it can be interesting."
Her: "So, what do we do? Should I take a shower?"
Me: "Will you come over here?"
Her: "Ok, but we can we eat something later? I'm hungry."
Me: "Ok"
Her: "But this is not a date with sex. I hope we are both aware of this."
Me: "Sure."
Her: "Are you really sure?"
Me: "Yeap."

So she came over. We really started this as a silent date. We only had a very brief chat when I was preparing coffee for her.

She was sitting on my sofa. After I brought drinks, I sat next to her, just sitting in silence, looking her in the eyes, trying to escalate the vibe.

After some long eyes gazing, I started stroking her arms and hands.

When I tried to kiss her, she refused. I backed off. I fractionated physical escalation with no-escalation-and-silence.

At some point I proposed that we lay on the sofa instead. She agreed asking if I have a blanket. I brought the blanket and laid next to her. I started touching her thighs and ass under the blanket.

There was just one more token resistance before she just let me touch and lick her pussy and fuck her within about 10 minutes.

The interesting thing she told me post sex:

"I can't resist to find out when I don't know if a guy wants to fuck me or not"

She stayed in my place for another 30-45 minutes and asked me If I'm going to fuck her again. So I did.

Here is another interesting part. When we talk on Whatsapp, and I'm trying to invite her for sex again (in the same way). It doesn't work. I guess the uncertainty is gone for her, so no more strong emotions.

I would love to fuck her again but I got stuck in the boyfriend vibe with her. She is only interested to meet for cinema/coffee/etc.

 

[Skills]

This girl texted me first on Tinder. She is 26 years and has in her bio: "No ONS. No FWB".

I talked for a little bit on Tinder, then moved to Whatsapp.

The most common question I get on Tinder these days is: "So what are you looking for here?"

Of course I got this question from her and I replied "I've recently quit a long term relationship. I'm enjoying being single and just here to see what's up on this app."

She wanted to meet pretty fast so we scheduled a meeting on Saturday but she flaked. I wrote more about this flake on 'General' forum, asking "How do you punish flakes?".

The following week after the flaky Saturday, I texted her in the middle of week, during the day. The convo was very short, she asked the same question again, and I told her that "I'm not searching for anything specific." She said: "If a guy says that he doesn't search for anything, he wants sex." I replied "Haha, no". She didn't reply to this for several days.

Next Satuday, out of nowhere I get a message:

Her: "Are we going out anywhere?"
Me: "You know what? I'm in a horrible mood today. I need time to even think if I feel like meeting anyone today."
Her: "What happened if I may ask? I'm also in a dead beat mood. Maybe we can stay together and cheer ourselves."
Me: "Well, in my talking is the last thing I want to do right now."
Her: "If you want we can just stay silent. But I'm not pushing or anything..."
Me: "Interesting proposal."
Me: "Intimate."
Her: "Is it bad?"
Her: "We can also watch something together. I just don't feel like being alone right now."
Me: "Well, we will see if it's gonna be bad."
Her: "Haha, why?"
Me: "Have you ever been ona a silent date?"
Her: "Haha, no but it can be interesting."
Her: "So, what do we do? Should I take a shower?"
Me: "Will you come over here?"
Her: "Ok, but we can we eat something later? I'm hungry."
Me: "Ok"
Her: "But this is not a date with sex. I hope we are both aware of this."
Me: "Sure."
Her: "Are you really sure?"
Me: "Yeap."

So she came over. We really started this as a silent date. We only had a very brief chat when I was preparing coffee for her.

She was sitting on my sofa. After I brought drinks, I sat next to her, just sitting in silence, looking her in the eyes, trying to escalate the vibe.

After some long eyes gazing, I started stroking her arms and hands.

When I tried to kiss her, she refused. I backed off. I fractionated physical escalation with no-escalation-and-silence.

At some point I proposed that we lay on the sofa instead. She agreed asking if I have a blanket. I brought the blanket and laid next to her. I started touching her thighs and ass under the blanket.

There was just one more token resistance before she just let me touch and lick her pussy and fuck her within about 10 minutes.

The interesting thing she told me post sex:

"I can't resist to find out when I don't know if a guy wants to fuck me or not"

She stayed in my place for another 30-45 minutes and asked me If I'm going to fuck her again. So I did.

Here is another interesting part. When we talk on Whatsapp, and I'm trying to invite her for sex again (in the same way). It doesn't work. I guess the uncertainty is gone for her, so no more strong emotions.

I would love to fuck her again but I got stuck in the boyfriend vibe with her. She is only interested to meet for cinema/coffee/etc.

Jan congrats on the lay, but the way you are handling is super horrible, I will link when I get home the keep it ambiguous post...

@Jan added link take a look and understand it...

 

[Jan]

Jan congrats on the lay, but the way you are handling is super horrible, I will link when I get home the keep it ambiguous post...

@Jan added link take a look and understand it...

hey @Skills thanks for the link, I appreciate it

Unfortunately, I'm even more confused now than I used to be

If you read comments of some senior seducers on my other posts, it seems to me that they are suggesting the opposite to what you suggesting.

Have a look at @topcat and @TomInHo comments here:

LR-- - "I only fuck for money or in a relationship"

APPROACH I approached a cute, sexy 22 years old in a shopping centre. She already finished her shopping and was on her way to the underground parking. I caught her on the moving stairs, told her that I saw her walking, found her beautiful and just wanted to say hi. INSTADATE Pretty much...

www.skilledseducer.com

If I understood their comments correctly, my main problem is a frame control problem. I'm in a boyfriend frame of mind, emit boyfriend vibes, hiding my dick in the mid game stage, etc.

I understand that you are suggesting the opposite. That I'm too much of a lover and don't give her enough relationship hope.

It seems like I've already heard every single advice there is:
- 'too much boyfriend vibe' costs you lays
- 'not enough relationship' costs you lay
- you give boyfriend vibe and lover vibe at the same time, she is confused, no matter that she ejects, she is confused
- and finally now, your advice: you are not mixing your lover vibe enough with boyfriend vibe...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing your advice or anything. But I'm personally really confused

 

[TomInHo]

Congrats on the lay G

Here is another interesting part. When we talk on Whatsapp, and I'm trying to invite her for sex again (in the same way). It doesn't work. I guess the uncertainty is gone for her, so no more strong emotions.


I would love to fuck her again but I got stuck in the boyfriend vibe with her. She is only interested to meet for cinema/coffee/etc.

Based off your text exchange this girl seems like she might be on the rebound. And get the feeling she’s trying to angle for a relationship and not per say sex right now

Can’t blame the girl for trying

In these sort of situations I will counter offer the girl with something more lowkey

“I’m not into any of the movies out but I’m down for some tacos and a stroll in the park”…. Pretty much something that lets her know I “respect” her beyond her body, plausible deniability ya know

Then tell her to meet me at my place and we’ll go from there. Sometimes the girl comes over and once we start having sex she forgets all about the tacos. And sometimes we go out for a bit then come back to have more sex

Take it moment by moment and remember it usually takes about 3 bangs before the girl locks in. Meaning that after sex the first time she is still assessing you and you still have work to do if want her to be a consistent sex partner

 

[Skills]

Congrats on the lay G



Based off your text exchange this girl seems like she might be on the rebound. And get the feeling she’s trying to angle for a relationship and not per say sex right now

Can’t blame the girl for trying

In these sort of situations I will counter offer the girl with something more lowkey

“I’m not into any of the movies out but I’m down for some tacos and a stroll in the park”…. Pretty much something that lets her know I “respect” her beyond her body, plausible deniability ya know

Then tell her to meet me at my place and we’ll go from there. Sometimes the girl comes over and once we start having sex she forgets all about the tacos. And sometimes we go out for a bit then come back to have more sex

Take it moment by moment and remember it usually takes about 3 bangs before the girl locks in. Meaning that after sex the first time she is still assessing you and you still have work to do if want her to be a consistent sex partner

@Jan the girl in the op when they are on dating apps they get frustrated, they usually end up with cool hot guys players that fuck and dump them, after couple of fucks then ghost... Get the dynamic, then they post the no ons the no fwd stuff... You keep it ambiguous to get pass the none Sense aka her agenda vs going the I am a fuck boy or nothing route which she may auto reject, till the 3 fucks... After You have sex the first time she may experience the asd by relieving the trauma of here we go again another fuckboy, no falling for this. So that @TomInHo strategy is good, cause help her save face vs the coming over to only fuck trigger and avoids the wine and dime bf provider stuff... Hope this clarify were she is at. I don't think she came out a break that was Jan answers to be diplomatic in what he was looking for... Recent break up and new in town works well online with women, I used to use recent break up a lot..