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I come off as TOO serious, Any tips?

Jano23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 11, 2012
Messages
18
Lately I've been noticing that I'm coming into too strong with women. I'll come in direct and deep dive right away and for some women it blindsides them. Other times I come in indirect but when I start to deep dive and truly ask those deep "im interested in your life" kinds of questions we get too deep too fast. They also begin to ask like "why all the questions?" or show that in their body language.

I can just intuitively tell I need to make them more comfortable with me. Essentially they don't feel comfortable opening up so quickly and this part of game has been a HUGE sticking point for me.

When it happens, I freeze up and want to run away lol! So these days I've been trying to work on keeping things light. One idea I've thought of using is free association in conversation.

If you don't know what that is I believe Jesse CHarger over at seduction science sums it up well:

"First you start by speaking a sentence, any sentence. And then to begin the next sentence, you pluck a word out of the first previous sentence and riff off into another topic related to the work you picked out. And on and on, off of each sentence. In other words, the topic of each new sentence is spawned by plucking a word from the previous sentence you just spoke. So in effect, what happens is, each sentence in your monologue is about a completely different topic, spawned again from a word in the previous sentence."

Basically my hope with this is I can get out of my head and stop thinking "deep dive, deep dive" every 5 seconds lol. I want to work on this because I feel that it will help me to more naturally transition from small talk to deep diving. My question for the forum is how have you all shed that "He's too serious" label?

Do you tease? I've read chase posts on it but I'm still having a hard time understanding it. I'm an analytical type of guy so humor isn't natural for me.

I can joke but honestly it's tough for me to just TURN on that joking mindset, I'm more apt to be serious. So, maybe that's something I should also work on.. though I have NO clue where to begin with that to be honest.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Thinkingenigma

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 25, 2012
Messages
293
It sounds like you need to be talking a bit more because you aren't relating to them. Sarcastic, self-deprecating humor is your best friend here! Watch George Carlin. Listen to how he just tells stories and they are funny because of how he emphasizes stuff. Most of his humor isn't in his material, it's in his delivery. Watch this and take notes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjmtSkl53h4

Ps. It's ok to borrow stuff from comedians until you can figure out what makes it work and apply it to your own stuff.
 

dvjackson

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 16, 2013
Messages
21
You don't have to be funny and if you aren't funny then don't force it. Just be interesting in an objective way; talk about subjects you're knowledgeable about, tell stories, etc. There's a phase of conversation it sounds like you're skipping, between small talk and deep diving, where the conversation is deeper but it isn't about her and isn't necessarily about you.
 
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