The situation is I never had sex with my ex girlfriend. I dumped her a few days ago and would like to get her back. I know to succeed in getting her back, I must have sex with her. However, she has unfriended me on Facebook and ignored my two calls yesterday. I know to not pursue her and focus on myself. My question is how much of an uphill battle am I facing? All advice gladly received.
I Dumped my Ex Girlfriend and Would Like to Get Her Back
- Thread starter Jibri
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@Jibri dude! First things first. Why did you dump her? There's a reason you dumped her so why do you actually want her back? I'll tell ya. Scarcity, lack of options, fear of not meeting another girl, losing an option for sex without having sex. You said this yourself dude. I don't think you want her back, you just want sex. There's nothing wrong with wanting sex, your mind frame however is wrong. You want her back, for sex... but you can have sex without taking her back and also meet other girls that hasn't pissed you off enough to dump them.
Dumping a girl is much harsher than when a girl dumps a dude in her eyes. This is another topic altogether but she's gone into auto rejection on you because of this. She's had to rationalise that you're in the wrong, it's not her mistake and you're not good enough. If a relationship ends, society will always view this as the dude's fault and very very rarely will a girl take responsibility for her actions. She will only do this in a submit to the dude as a tactic to get what she wants way. She hasn't submitted, she's playing possum dude.
You've now started to chase her phoning and texting, so you look less desirable. You want her more than she wants you, you've lost compliance and she's cutting contact. Sound like you're in the weaker position? You are.... attraction lost, value lost. You've made a decision and can't stick to it out of emotional weakness and desperation. What a stud!! ... yeah she's not thinking that!...
How do you get her back? Meet more girls. Go no contact. Chasing her will almost never work.
Typically go no contact for 30 days and then reengage. The only other option you have on this is temporary insanity. Perfect if you've lost your job or a loved one or something where you can blame your emotional outburst on that, you didn't mean it, it won't happen again and that you're your old self again.
You've got an uphill battle, it's usually better to just meet new girls. You've never fucked this girl that makes it harder, if you've fucked her she's already submitted to you, if you fucked her good she'll be more willing to take you back. Without ever getting intimate she doesn't have much to think about dude.
There's loads of good articles on here for how to get an ex back. But this goes back to my first question, why do you want to?
Dumping a girl is much harsher than when a girl dumps a dude in her eyes. This is another topic altogether but she's gone into auto rejection on you because of this. She's had to rationalise that you're in the wrong, it's not her mistake and you're not good enough. If a relationship ends, society will always view this as the dude's fault and very very rarely will a girl take responsibility for her actions. She will only do this in a submit to the dude as a tactic to get what she wants way. She hasn't submitted, she's playing possum dude.
You've now started to chase her phoning and texting, so you look less desirable. You want her more than she wants you, you've lost compliance and she's cutting contact. Sound like you're in the weaker position? You are.... attraction lost, value lost. You've made a decision and can't stick to it out of emotional weakness and desperation. What a stud!! ... yeah she's not thinking that!...
How do you get her back? Meet more girls. Go no contact. Chasing her will almost never work.
Typically go no contact for 30 days and then reengage. The only other option you have on this is temporary insanity. Perfect if you've lost your job or a loved one or something where you can blame your emotional outburst on that, you didn't mean it, it won't happen again and that you're your old self again.
You've got an uphill battle, it's usually better to just meet new girls. You've never fucked this girl that makes it harder, if you've fucked her she's already submitted to you, if you fucked her good she'll be more willing to take you back. Without ever getting intimate she doesn't have much to think about dude.
There's loads of good articles on here for how to get an ex back. But this goes back to my first question, why do you want to?
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next time before you end a relationship, if you can call this that, at the very least give her a parting shot and tell her why you have to end the relationship. It makes it more difficult for her to go into autorejection as Flux just wrote when you know what you blame her for. Maybe she would even have correct herself. She has to understand that you need sex, it's not an extra option, it's mandatory.
But right now like the other guys said.. you kinda fucked up. Are you a young guy by the way?
But right now like the other guys said.. you kinda fucked up. Are you a young guy by the way?
I was basically her beta male provider or categorized as “boyfriend/ husband material”. When women categorize a man as such, the relationship between them and the man is transactional, meaning they will only give sex and intimacy/love in exchange for whatever they want from the man. Meanwhile, the bad boy alpha male can get sex from the woman within minutes (oftentimes without giving her anything) and she does everything she fantasizes of doing with him and not the other guy. I, unfortunately, was the other guy. I allowed myself to be because I was not knowledgeable of the nature of women, I had poor game, and I wasn’t a man on top of his shit. Basically, it’s all my fault.
That I should have done. However, I’m not interested in the idea of my ex and I getting back together for sex to occur between us. I blame my poorly writing of my message above that gave you guys that impression.
Yea, looking back I should have written my message better. I have not taken my ex back. Actually, I haven’t communicated with my ex since our break up (over a month ago). Considering taking her back is not because of lack of options and definitely not for sex. I mentioned sex to address a problem/raise an objection before any of you would. If successful in getting her back, I will be sure to have sex with her the second go-around to strengthen her and I’s connection in the new relationship. Women will always have the advantage in choice over men. That’s not important. Because I am putting in the time and work to develop myself as dominant highly successful man, I aim to be any woman’s best option.
Good points. Let’s readdress them. Looking back I should have written my message better. I mentioned sex with the intention of addressing that problem/raising that objection before any of you would. This isn’t my first rodeo and I’m not new to Girlschase. A man does not need to have sex with a woman to have her completely submit to him, but sex most definitely helps out a lot. I can still get back my ex without having had sex with her. As you pointed out, it’s going to be hard and I might not succeed. However, it’s worth a shot. I don’t pursue women for sex. Now, I don’t pursue women at all. I’ve learned to focus on being attractive and things naturally and easily progress between women and I. That’s been my no contact journey – focusing on developing me. By doing so, I am continually putting myself in a solid position to gain options. Maybe during the time I created this thread, but the lack of options is no longer my issue. I believe I may have foolishly dumped a girl who is a great fit for me. Though, it’s better and far easier to move on to other women, I believe it’s worth a shot.
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@Jibri dude! Let's look at my first question again. Why did you dump her? Only you can answer this and this will change your approach for getting her back.
I'm assuming she was attracted to you, but possibly not as invested as you'd have liked her to be? Your relationship dynamic and how she felt towards you has a huge impact with this.
If she really liked you, was attracted to you then her attitude at the moment will be along the lines of fuck you!! Again this is auto rejection and she's keeping away to not get hurt. If she's not answering your calls or texts she's put distance between you and chasing makes you look weak. Which is why we go no contact and let them miss you, realise you're cool and not knocking down the door to get them back.
This should last 1 - 3 month and a lot of girls will reengage themselves here though this is less likely if you've dumped them and they haven't chased at all which is what's happened here.
You then need to reach out and do a reconnecting text, if she hasn't found someone new and doesn't have raging hateful emotions towards you, you should be fine. Your best bet is to run into her in person if I'm honest, it's easy to ignore a text especially if the numbers blocked.
I'm assuming she was attracted to you, but possibly not as invested as you'd have liked her to be? Your relationship dynamic and how she felt towards you has a huge impact with this.
If she really liked you, was attracted to you then her attitude at the moment will be along the lines of fuck you!! Again this is auto rejection and she's keeping away to not get hurt. If she's not answering your calls or texts she's put distance between you and chasing makes you look weak. Which is why we go no contact and let them miss you, realise you're cool and not knocking down the door to get them back.
This should last 1 - 3 month and a lot of girls will reengage themselves here though this is less likely if you've dumped them and they haven't chased at all which is what's happened here.
You then need to reach out and do a reconnecting text, if she hasn't found someone new and doesn't have raging hateful emotions towards you, you should be fine. Your best bet is to run into her in person if I'm honest, it's easy to ignore a text especially if the numbers blocked.
