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I have a boyfriend!

Orgasmatron

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 13, 2021
Messages
309
No, I've not had a chance of preference and started looking for some D.

It's the main thing I hear after I put the 'let's go out sometime' scenario out there.
And when I don't and they say "yeah, here's my number" I don't get texted back, but that's a different problem, I think. Maybe it's not. I don't know.

So, on the one hand, sure, why wouldn't an attractive women with a bubbly personality not have a boyfriend. But then again, sometimes it's probably bullshit, and just a nicer way to say 'no thanks'

Plus, boyfriend is pretty vague. Boyfriend could mean 'guy I met 3 weeks ago that I maybe like' or 'guy I've been living with for 5 years'.

I had, what I thought anyway, was great interaction with a girl in the park recently. She was sat down, I just walked over to her and started chatting like we knew each other already. She was laughing and smiling a lot, obviously enjoying things, asking me about stuff, we were both making jokes, all seemed to be going well. At some point, she casually mentioned a 'partner' (a bit more serious than a bf, and possibly means she's into chicks, well maybe that's something we have in common, lol, surely that's good!). I didn't address it (in my head of course I was going FFS!) but we continued on having a nice time until it was time to go. I never bothered asking her out because of the partner comment, but I wonder now if it was just made up.

Anyway, how can you tell if the boyfriend is a lie, and is there anything you can do about it?
 

Starboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 2, 2018
Messages
490
I know it's frustrating to keep being told that the girl you approached has a bf and maybe not all the girls truly have a bf,but it's not worth ruminating if she truly had a bf or not. You're just gonna drive yourself crazy trying to decipher if she's lying or not. I think most girls are true and genuine when they say they have one. Although there are girls who don't want to sound mean and flat out reject you by spare saying not interested or no to a date. Even though i've had that happen to me a few times and it didn't really hurt.

The one time I am absolutely positive this girl was bullshitting was when I approached this girl in a subway station and told her I thought she was attractive. I did it in a timid and uncalibrated way and when I asked her what she was up to she quickly and briefly said "uh sorry I have a bf". Clearly she was bullshitting and the only way you don't recognize it is if you're autistic. Funny thing is I saw her in my gym today too.

If women act really sweet and sincere when they tell you they have a partner I would say that's a pretty good indicator they're taken for real. They have nothing to hide because they really do have a partner. If a girl hesitates a bit that could mean they're making it up. If you think they are however no need to call them out on it.
 

ulrich

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
1,760
Question her about him:
“Oh, you have a boyfriend, is that serious? Like getting married and all?”

“I have a boyfriend” can be a true statement but can also be a knee jerk reaction.
I’d bet about 50% of the girls who say it are actually thinking of an orbiter, a guy who is her second option or a guy she likes who doesn’t like her back… the other 50% are the ones saying the truth.

You got to probe more.
But yes, a lot of attractive women have a boyfriend… that’s why you should never forget it’s a numbers game.
Approach 4 super attractive girls… chances are at least one is single.
 

Orgasmatron

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 13, 2021
Messages
309
I know it's frustrating to keep being told that the girl you approached has a bf and maybe not all the girls truly have a bf,but it's not worth ruminating if she truly had a bf or not. You're just gonna drive yourself crazy trying to decipher if she's lying or not. I think most girls are true and genuine when they say they have one. Although there are girls who don't want to sound mean and flat out reject you by spare saying not interested or no to a date. Even though i've had that happen to me a few times and it didn't really hurt.

The one time I am absolutely positive this girl was bullshitting was when I approached this girl in a subway station and told her I thought she was attractive. I did it in a timid and uncalibrated way and when I asked her what she was up to she quickly and briefly said "uh sorry I have a bf". Clearly she was bullshitting and the only way you don't recognize it is if you're autistic. Funny thing is I saw her in my gym today too.

If women act really sweet and sincere when they tell you they have a partner I would say that's a pretty good indicator they're taken for real. They have nothing to hide because they really do have a partner. If a girl hesitates a bit that could mean they're making it up. If you think they are however no need to call them out on it.
Thanks dude

Yeah, I'm just trying to think about my whole approach at the moment and work out how to get better.

There was another one I was thinking about and I ran out of steam and asked her a question I'd already asked, so I reckon it was just a nicer way of saying you had your chance and you missed the boat.

Yeah, no point in driving myself crazy about it. Just take more action and improve.

Cheers
 

Orgasmatron

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 13, 2021
Messages
309
Question her about him:
“Oh, you have a boyfriend, is that serious? Like getting married and all?”

“I have a boyfriend” can be a true statement but can also be a knee jerk reaction.
I’d bet about 50% of the girls who say it are actually thinking of an orbiter, a guy who is her second option or a guy she likes who doesn’t like her back… the other 50% are the ones saying the truth.

You got to probe more.
But yes, a lot of attractive women have a boyfriend… that’s why you should never forget it’s a numbers game.
Approach 4 super attractive girls… chances are at least one is single.
Thanks dude,

I'll definitely try that.

But you're right, just gotta do more approaches. I'm starting to realise that what I think is a lot is really very little, so going to just go full on with it and get some momentum going after I get some life and work stuff out if the way over the next 2 weeks and do loads. It's the only way to get better

Cheers
 

happynanako

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
45
Worst mistake to make.

That only tells her that you're treating her as a target not as a friend. It revealed your motive of befriending her. It's good to keep her around as relationship don't last or she might even introduce you some of her friends in the future.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake
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