I have a Curfew (drug related), Can't Cold Approach because of the Shame

[Bastian]

Hi there!

As the title says I have an 11pm curfew (21 year old). Basically my parents found my weed stash 1 year ago (they used an actual K-9 police dog lol), a months after I quit selling/using. They laid some ground rules, which I ignored so this curfew became permanent. Never had a curfew in my life before this. Summary @ last paragraph.

Now I work full-time at a job, and after that I work in real estate (RE). I should honestly be prospecting right now, because work starts in 9 hours and I ain't done shit business-wise today.

But this is important.

I can't move out. RE costs about $300 per month, which means I can't afford rent + emergency money. I've thought about letting everything go & getting two part-time serving jobs, but I like money & will make a LOT of it. The best avenue I have right now is RE

When I got the license, I became celibate. Just focus on work + gym. I would flirt & shit but wouldn't invite girls to dates, kiss, or numbers. THIS IS STUPID

I've been hitting the gym 6x per week -- sometimes in the small window of my break & 5 extra hours of OT. And every day I work, even if only for a bit, on RE. So if I'm hitting RE hard, and the gym hard as fuck. Then why am I being LITTLE BITCH BOI on dating?!?!?!

Even if I don't go out of my way. There's pretty, beautiful, and pretty still fuckable -- just plain lovely women all around me. You know, nice bitches bro!

So you know what? Imma date once again. Not going out of my way for it. But if I see a shawty come my way. An opportunity this Universe has provided my way. Imma talk to a bitch. Make her laugh, just play with her. And tryna find out if she like the way I taste

I'm this way in social circle places like work or volunteering events. Clubs too, but I avoid them with my curfew (bad logistics). Just out of my element in bars (especially bars) & other "colder" environments.

I'm lazy towards prospecting (RE equivalent of cold approaching). Mainly because there's always prep work to be done, but I've done more than necessary. This whole week it's been "Do it tomorrow". Unfortunately there's always another excuse around the corner.

On the flip side, I got my vices in check.
They were running a motherfucking train on me.
And this fool didn't even realize it!
Fuck, dude -- I feel amazing!
That ate so much of my time.

Anyway, I still have curfew. Making more money is my way out. In the meanwhile, I don't wanna be stuck beating my meat senselessly. Any suggestions on how I can get over this shame?
Like I can't cold approach, because it rushes to dominate all my other thoughts when I try to:

"You're not a real man. You still have curfew. Bitch ain't gonna respect you when she finds out."

 

[ulrich]

I’m gonna say something out of the box here and suggest that you go less often to the gym.

Sounds like you simply have too many things on your plate right now and you can’t handle the mental stress that come with all of them.

Get some free time into your life and you will start to think more clearly.

You need to work dating into your life... that means dedicating some time. If you’re over scheduled you’ll need to let something go.


Bonus: you will get much better results from training 2-3 times per week instead of 5-6. Your central nervous system gets heavily taxed by physical training, more than your muscles. If you don’t rest a couple of days between sessions you will never recover. I talk from experience... moving from 5 days to 2-3 days I noticed huge results... not to mention my mood and social life improved.

 

[punisher]

^dont listen to this monkey, continue going gym 6 times a week.

Try to find a girl that has her own apartment, split the rent so it becomes cheaper for you

The curfew will disappear in time dont worry about that

 

[Hue]

Simply omit from explaining that you have a curfew.

Schedule your dates earlier to get around the fact you have to be home so early.

If it comes up, just tell them you have some sort of obligation (like picking someone up from the airport). In my opinion, white lying is okay if it benefits both parties.

The only real problem that could come from this is in a relationship setting since you can't bring her home, and you could never stay the night. So, for now, just take ONS's and FB's until you move out for your own place.

Until then, I'd say you better stop making excuses. Getting on yourself and being insecure about your present situation doesn't help you any. Try and accept this as it is, and work around it best as possible. You can even think of this as "training" or a fun challenge to get you at peak performance for once you're the independent man you want to be.

Best of luck with your approaches.

Hue

 

[Mr.Rob]

Yeah man you're loving with your parents in the short term so you can win big financially in the long term. What's so embarrassing about that?

Sounds like what a winner would do. What a man would do (rather than work some dead end jobs to do drugs and have more sex in the short term).

Due to situation I've had to live with my parents past few years and it's never harmed my confidence with girls. I'm certain in what I'm doing and not insecure about my situation.

You just got to reframe it and if a girl shit tests you on it then tell her you're doing the thing that's going to give you the most success in your career and you don't care about "being cool".

All she cares about is how you feel about the situation. If you're secure and strong she won't care

 

[Bastian]

You will get much better results from training 2-3 times per week instead of 5-6. Your central nervous system gets heavily taxed by physical training, more than your muscles. If you don’t rest a couple of days between sessions you will never recover. I talk from experience... moving from 5 days to 2-3 days I noticed huge results... not to mention my mood and social life improved.

I something this for like 3 weeks before Corona hit Orlando, haha.
I've been getting strong since Jan 1, when I started the 6 days a week thing.
But I lowered gym days to 4 - 5 days a week, and it improved my rest periods. Instead of a 3 - 4.5 min break from bench press, I lowered them to 2 - 2.5 min per rep.

Due to stay-at-home orders, I've done intensive push-ups -- I rest just enough for 7 - 12 reps; MANY sets.
Pull-ups, dips, sumo squats + cutting shapes for COVID workouts.

Try to find a girl that has her own apartment, split the rent so it becomes cheaper for you

I'd have 25, maybe $50 bucks left over each month if I left. I'm being conservative. A liberal estimate is $200 per month.

My take-home is 765 bi-weekly (assuming no OT)
Monthly expenses average 850 (900 if being conservative).*
765 * 2 - 925 = 605 + 125 (26 weeks in a year) = 730
A room is 500 - 600. Half an apartment is 600 - 800
730 - 600 = 130
130 - food = ??? (breakfast is included, lunch is free @ work, dunno what dinner would cost)

??? + 100 when I switch auto insurance

Like I said, fucked in case of an emergency. Totally doable if I didn't have to pay $300 per month on RE.

* I don't pay phone, but I pay wifi. Could also lower insurance (200 p/month) to 97 by changing providers. It will cost me 400 to have the car in my name. THANK YOU! I almost forgot to do this. My step-father's home after 4 months on the road. So we'll head to DMV soon.

Simply omit from explaining that you have a curfew.

Best of luck with your approaches.

Hue

I feel like the Scarecrow returned from his trip to the Wizard, haha.

It reminds me of the lowering standards article from Chase. I'm trying to think 5 steps ahead about this, when it really isn't a problem at all for getting 90% of women into bed.

Like I've been aware that I'm over-complicating it. But you make it easy to know it.

Sounds like what a winner would do. What a man would do (rather than work some dead end jobs to do drugs and have more sex in the short term).

Due to situation I've had to live with my parents past few years and it's never harmed my confidence with girls. I'm certain in what I'm doing and not insecure about my situation.

You just got to reframe it and if a girl shit tests you on it then tell her you're doing the thing that's going to give you the most success in your career and you don't care about "being cool".

All she cares about is how you feel about the situation. If you're secure and strong she won't care

Pimp, you making me shatter walls here

I'm tryna reframe myself to then reframe the answer.

Right now my internal frame is: "This is something a bitch boi would take, but I'm tolerating it for my future."

But my frame should be more like: "I'm doing what's best for me at the moment with what I've got."

I've reread the Never Explain Yourself article during this. Because it's not just the end act/explanation, but how the entire scenario begins (and arguably the first time she sees you, but that's semantics on game theory -- a different conversation).

So the first frame is weak, because it insinuates I'm a "bitch boi". Which would be true if there wasn't a situational factor. This is also the frame I'm most likely to encounter.

I can dominate this frame by adopting/prioritizing the situational factor first, then the inconvenience. It's not a but, rather its a because of. I'm hoping this description makes sense.

And of course, if she keeps prying, I could totally ask if she's offering me a room. Then she can buy me Kobe beef, workout gear, and either move the conversation for her to use my body in her perverted fantasies (sex talk), her cooking me giant meals (moving to cooking/beef)*, or if she speaks Spanish, how I could pay her in 500 kisses** every day. She'll be the happiest bitty alive, haha.

So yeah, definitely a good opportunity to fuck-wit-a-bitch.

*Caffeine worn out a couple hours ago. I'm starving as I'm writing
** Besos is Spanish for kisses. Sounds similar to pesos. Pesos means dollar (informally).