I still don't "get" natural park game.

[Beam]

I'm becoming a bit of a one trick pony with my direct street approaches I feel, because they work often enough and also because I love the natural "it just happened" feel to it that I can create.

Parks on the other hand, I still get massive AA. Went out today to a wide open one - saw what looked like a cute girl sitting on a bench way over on the other side of the field reading. I've been in this situation multiple times (sometimes when they're sitting on the ground) and always chicken out. How are you supposed to make it natural approaching her? Coming at her from all the way across the field or even just walking directly in front of her seat and then feigning sudden interest would have been way to obvious, especially since there was hardly anyone in that park and the space was wide so walking right in front of her would just seem forced.

Maybe I'm overthinking this but it's given me pause enough times to really wonder what your guys strategy actually is to create that "it just happened" feeling in situations like this.

 

[ulrich]

I would pretend I am walking her way past her WITHOUT looking at her, then when I am within talking distance I would turn my head almost 90° and open from the side.
Like pretending you didn't see her.

If she is sitting down on a bench or the floor, you can start talking while standing and as the conversation moves forward you can sit on the bench or squat a little then sit on the floor.

Since this is a little invasive, you can throw some "I hope I'm not interrupting" or "Let me know if I make you nervous" here and then to ease her mind.

 

[Chase]

@Revival,

Loop back around and come at her from a closer angle.

Usually if she's reading she won't have noticed you the first time. When you come back around, it's the first time for her.

If she did notice you, and asks about it, then it's just "Yeah, I know, I saw you too, and I almost walked by, but then I said, 'If I don't meet that girl I'm going to kick myself all day!'"

If you lock eyes from across the park, then hold eye contact, smile, and wave. If she smiles and waves back, just jog up to her, looking down and smiling, so she doesn't have to wait forever for you to slowly cross a field (don't slow walk), and avoids the tension of you staring into her eyes as you draw nearer and nearer (don't stare as you cross).

Chase

 

[Beam]

Appreciate the feedback. Went out today to the same park and just did it the way you said @uriel - it wasn't as bad as I thought (duh!). Just crossed the field and pretended to walk past her (in fact I think it was the same girl I spotted yesterday) - then opened asking her what book she was reading because I was curious. Used indirect-direct with the same general style of conversation as in my street approaches (a couple minutes in saying "I actually thought you were cute as well" ) but definitely felt awkward standing while she was sitting.

I put a false time constraint on myself because (my brain trying to get me out of the situation) I felt I hadn't built enough attraction and my brain was telling me this was going to play out similarly to other rejections in the past (I think I'm starting to see behaviour patterns which lead to this) - but asked her if she lived in the area and if she wanted to grab a drink. She looked shocked and said "now?".

This would have been the perfect opportunity to go on an instant date but! We're in the last day of a five day lockdown and all bars are closed. I fumbled at this point and said "ah, we can't because all the bars are closed". "And I'm actually heading away for work for two weeks next week, so don't worry about it actually". And ejected like a fool. Did this because I got in my head way too much, feeling like I hadn't built enough attraction to get her out on a date that weekend. I should have burnt that set to the ground.

But.. it did open my eyes to the fact that parks are perfect places to find girls to go on instant dates with. Moving street sets are usually going somewhere, girls in parks are usually just chilling. Can't believe I didn't realize this before - I guess that's what happens when you avoid certain situations for so long - you don't realize the new opportunities those situations can give you.

 

[ulrich]

Sounds like you’re doing the work and getting better at it.
Great job!!

 

[Will_V]

Always good to say "can I sit with you for a minute?" while the conversation is rolling.

 

[Peleus]

(don't stare as you cross).

Visualizing this made me laugh hard

The subtle difference between "this stranger is running to attack me" to "this mysterious cute guy is coming over to talk to me"