I suck at compliance

[zeroman2]

Hello Beginner here,

Earlier today a female friend invited me to watch her play music at a coffee shop. I decided to come. After she was done playing, her and her bandmate (an older gentlemen in his 60s that I know) came over and we started talking. I started deep diving and joking around with her. As soon as her bandmate left for a few minutes I started touch her which she didn't mind at all. Then I kind of ran into a problem. For compliance I asked to see one of her rings she did. However the second time I tried to ask for compliance I wanted to see her glasses she resisted. After talking some more we hug goodbye and then I went home.

After this interaction I realized that I am not that really good when it comes to compliance. I do fairly decent job when it comes to flirtation and deep dive. I can always improve but overall I'm good at it. But I am completely lost when it comes to compliance. Outside of asking them to let me see their jewelry or tattoo I have no idea how to make girls comply which is a big problem.

What can I do to start improving my compliance? Give me a few examples that I can do to have more compliance when it comes to the girls.

 

[Darius]

Hi,

Everything is compliance. Whether she talks with you, she lets you touch her, she follows your lead etc. Anything she does with you up to and including sex is compliance -- cause sex is compliance too if you think about it.

Here's a list below of things that I personally do to escalate compliance in a conversation. This is not sexual, that is reserved for when she's isolated.

active:
- ask her to tell you X thing about herself (deep diving)
- ask her what she thinks of X thing
- ask her to stand closer to you
- ask her to play a game with you
- ask to see X article of clothing she has (note: this only works once per conversation, as you just found out. More than this and she'll feel like she's being inspected)
- ask to touch her hair if it looks soft
- ask her to hold your drink / fetch you a drink / make you a drink (buy if you're really ballsy)
- ask her to do a turn-around if she's dressed up, so you can see her dress
- ask her to look something up for you (personal favourite, if we're talking about something I'll just ask her to get her phone and look it up)
- ask her to move over (e.g. if she's standing behind the sun and it's in your eyes)
- flirting
- a ton of situational scenarios, the more you'll do this the more creative you'll get

passive:
- touch mostly! touch her elbow, the upper part of her arm, her forearm, her hand
- grab her hand when you two are moving and lead her
- touch her hair (without asking) saying it's looks soft
- hug her
- pat her on the head if she's silly (be careful with this! but it can be a fun way to touch her)
- maintain touch when you're talking with others / moving around e.g. keep so close your shoulders are touching

THE biggest compliance request in a conversation, and what you should be working up to, is to isolate her. So asking her to come somewhere alone with you, or go on a date, etc. From there when you're alone you can escalate further to flirting and more intimate touching etc.

 

[Xandin]

Hey there Zero! When you are asking for compliance what is your demeanor like out of curiosity. Usually it works best to make it not seem like a big deal and then before you know it she's agreed to a few things

 

[Starboy]

Same. I am hesistant when it comes to asking girls to do things. I was never really comfortable with it and it felt weird for me to ask girls to do things even though girls ask guys to do things for them all the time.

I think it was the nice guy in me and instinctively before I probably knew that if a girl rejected a request for compliance that it's a sign that she doesn't like me that much and the old me wanted to avoid rejection at all costs in any form.

You just got to say fuck it sometimes and try to ask a girl to do things for your behalf even if it feels unnatural to you. When you ask for compliance I would say you do it in a casual manner that doesn't sound too demanding so she doesn't interpret it as being rude.

I also think it's important to sound like you're not anxiously hoping she says yes. She will sense if you're asking nervously or seeking her approval and that will make her more unlikely to to do what you ask of her.

 

[Will_V]

Hello Beginner here,

Earlier today a female friend invited me to watch her play music at a coffee shop. I decided to come. After she was done playing, her and her bandmate (an older gentlemen in his 60s that I know) came over and we started talking. I started deep diving and joking around with her. As soon as her bandmate left for a few minutes I started touch her which she didn't mind at all. Then I kind of ran into a problem. For compliance I asked to see one of her rings she did. However the second time I tried to ask for compliance I wanted to see her glasses she resisted. After talking some more we hug goodbye and then I went home.

After this interaction I realized that I am not that really good when it comes to compliance. I do fairly decent job when it comes to flirtation and deep dive. I can always improve but overall I'm good at it. But I am completely lost when it comes to compliance. Outside of asking them to let me see their jewelry or tattoo I have no idea how to make girls comply which is a big problem.

What can I do to start improving my compliance? Give me a few examples that I can do to have more compliance when it comes to the girls.

Compliance requires authority, which you must assume if you want to get her to do things.

Think of her as your little sister. Commanding her to do things is no big deal, it's not an emotional thing, it's just who you are compared to her. And don't forget to enjoy it too.

Also, use strong eye contact when you ask for compliance.

 

[zeroman2]

Thank you everybody this is really helpful.

 

[ulrich]

Also escalate compliance. Start with small requests and go up progressively.

You can step back if you feel a challenge and step up if she is following your lead.

 

[PalmaSailor]

Hello Beginner here,

Earlier today a female friend invited me to watch her play music at a coffee shop. I decided to come. After she was done playing, her and her bandmate (an older gentlemen in his 60s that I know) came over and we started talking. I started deep diving and joking around with her. As soon as her bandmate left for a few minutes I started touch her which she didn't mind at all. Then I kind of ran into a problem. For compliance I asked to see one of her rings she did. However the second time I tried to ask for compliance I wanted to see her glasses she resisted. After talking some more we hug goodbye and then I went home.

After this interaction I realized that I am not that really good when it comes to compliance. I do fairly decent job when it comes to flirtation and deep dive. I can always improve but overall I'm good at it. But I am completely lost when it comes to compliance. Outside of asking them to let me see their jewelry or tattoo I have no idea how to make girls comply which is a big problem.

What can I do to start improving my compliance? Give me a few examples that I can do to have more compliance when it comes to the girls.

I reckon it wasn’t enough attraction.
You hadn’t DHV’d enough
Just asking to look at this and that isn’t seduction- you say you’re good at deep dive, perhaps you should have run that first.

 

[zeroman2]

I reckon it wasn’t enough attraction.
You hadn’t DHV’d enough
Just asking to look at this and that isn’t seduction- you say you’re good at deep dive, perhaps you should have run that first.

can you further details on what I was doing wrong and how I can improve? Also how do you know when you build enough attraction?

 

[Rakehell]

The most attractive way, and the way that you’ll wanna get compliance the most is by verbalizing it and doing the action anyway as if you knew she’d comply; instead of giving her a yes or no decision.

The tone you wanna have is playfully demanding and or warmly authoritative

For example: If you want to see a girls hand you say “let me see your hand” or “give me your hand” in a sexy cool way, then proceed to grab it slowly but deliberately.

Being self assured is key with this.

If you’re already deeply established as warm and she is committed to you, then you can just switch to full on authoritative.

Commands usually go over better than nicely asking in terms of getting compliance from girls.

I will call my gf and tell her “cash app me 30$ to my card” instead of “can you cash app me 30 $ to my card” because asking nice triggers resistance for whatever reason