FR I Try Redlining. Crashed the Car

[Gentle_Phrases]

There's a fire under my arse. Rob's tying lassies up and spanking them (!). Barry's going Liam Mcrae on the foreign ladies. Marty's dating 18 year olds.

WTF, It's time to race the car. Maybe if I put my competitive pride on the line, it'll give me that extra motivation to keep at it. Game is a grind

I did a ton of approaches last night. One sets, two sets, a mother daughter pair, fast walking women, etc. I ask for 5 or six dates. Two agree and I take their numbers. Only one replies:



*There's more later*

Opener

Me: Hi.....(out of breath because I chased her down maybe a quarter mile while she was speed walking up hill)...I have to tell you something...Hang on, I'm a bit out of breath. Okay, I just saw you a second ago when I was going in to grab an umbrella and noticed you walked out. I almost didn't do this but you looked pretty cute so I thought I'd come say hello

Her: Oh, okay! Hi!

I have her attention instantly. We shake hands during the name exchange. I hold it for a while and pump up and down maybe 20 times.

Teasing

Me: Do you always shake like this? That's intense

Her: What do you mean?

Me: (I take her hand again and start shaking it wildly)

Display of Intent

The eye contact is...oddly comforting. Her eyes are "smiling" at me. I comment on it as I look into her eyes:

Me: You have a very soft and steady gaze. It's like you're lulling me to...you're lulling me..you're lulling...(I resist the joke I was going to make to break the tension and just stare)

Her: (Smiling brightly, staring into my eyes, says nothing)

Looking back, I should have moved closer and tried to kiss her there. Even though she wouldn't have accepted it (at least I don't think so) there's no way she would have punished my attempt by leaving. This was maybe 3 minutes into the conversation. I should have crashed the car right then and there. For science.

The Ask

Franco charged me with being more specific with my date requests. It's near midnight and I checked her logistics - they're a no go and she needs to leave. I suggest:

Me: Hey do you like tea? You seem cool. I'd like you to join me at (I name the exact place) so that we can chat some more and get to know each other.

Her: (She nods) Yes, I've never been there but I've heard good things. (Then she says some other stuff, blah blah blah, I'm not listening)

Me: Great, so would you like to come out (I cut off her blabbering haha)

Her: Okay, sure (I take out my phone, she plugs her number in). I called myself

Despite her agreeing to the date, I missed something. I was in the middle of telling a story when I checked her logistics. She said she had to go to get back to a visitor but that I could finish the story. The visitor was a family member so I said well let's meet up again later instead. She expressed a bit of surprise that I didn't finish the tale

In retrospect, you guys, she was saying one thing but I don't think she cared at all if I blabbed on with her for another hour on the street. I did ask her for an instant date before suggesting the tea date at another time. What I didn't do was insist a few more times (the objection seemed legitimate)

It's almost midnight so I send the opener text the next day around lunch time. She replies 3 hours and 30 minutes later. I send a response around a hour and a half later. However, after Eric's article I decided to see what would happen if I shot another text out asking for the date logistics earlier than I usually do. Surely if she's interested I wont be punished for that. Right? Right?:



No response.

So since she responded to the first message, I'm curious as to whether the double text spun me out, or she wasn't keen in the first place. This is good though since now numbers are responding back more consistently. Usually none reply.

The Other Girl

I spat the best game in my entire life on the other girl who's number I got. I kid you not. She fell into my qualifying statements. She was extremely compliant. She enthusiastically agreed to my specific date offer at the high point. She held hands with me and squeezed back. She told me three times to make sure that I call her for that tea date (red flag, I guess??). She couldn't stop smiling and lit up like a bulb when I commented on it.

I then texted her the exact same message that I sent to the girl above at the exact same time . No response.

Chalk it to the game

 

[Marty]

Hey Gentle Phrases,

Something just occurred to me. You're an incredibly hard worker, plus your FRs are so amusing and entertaining to read. All of us here love them.

Just reflecting on those two facts—do you think that one issue you face might be that you project too much of an "entertainer" vibe? A little too high-effort perhaps?

Here are some examples of what I mean:

I have to tell you something...Hang on, I'm a bit out of breath. Okay

It's like you're lulling me to...you're lulling me..you're lulling...

I decided to see what would happen if I shot another text out asking for the date logistics earlier than I usually do. Surely if she's interested I wont be punished for that. Right?

I fully concede that I may have the wrong end of the stick here... but perhaps you ought to tone it down a bit?

Put it this way. Regardless of outcome, you want the woman feeling as she leaves that you've brought a little brightness into her day—but it has to be the right type of brightness, for her to think of you in a sexual manner. If she can hardly stop laughing, it's probably not the right type.

I was coming into work this morning, walking up a hill from the parking deck to the office when I saw a lovely girl heading in the opposite direction down the street. As we passed, I waited to give her an opportunity to look at me, before making eye contact... yes! I caught her, and she knew it.

I turned and followed her. She headed for the subway station... I knew if she made it through that gate I was done for. I broke into a run (I'm in fair shape) and yelled at her to stop.

She stopped.

I went direct on her and she was absolutely thrilled. I don't think I've seen another girl's eyes light up like that, certainly not in my last 100 approaches, probably never. When I asked her out, she confessed she had a fiancé.

But she thanked me, beaming, and told me that I'd lifted her mood beyond articulation. To reward her for that comment, I instantly grabbed her and kissed her on the cheek. Hard.

She left, visibly in stupefaction. An incredibly rewarding experience for me.

The point here is that she knew from the word "Go!" that I was deadly serious. Any smile was intended as an expression of affection; any light humor was merely to break the tension.

Do you think it's possible that women are sometimes doubting that you're serious? Because if they are, that could cause them to react wrongly. It's one thing for her to be ruminating over whether you like her or not... that's terrific. It's quite another for her to feel that you're just having fun.

Just a thought.

-Marty

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Something just occurred to me. You're an incredibly hard worker, plus your FRs are so amusing and entertaining to read. All of us here love them.

Thanks Marty

Do you think it's possible that women are sometimes doubting that you're serious?

Huh...you know what... I can see your point. I've gotten a few women who have expressed this doubt openly. I'll open direct and they still don't believe me (???)

It's one thing for her to be ruminating over whether you like her or not... that's terrific. It's quite another for her to feel that you're just having fun.

Huh...

The point here is that she knew from the word "Go!" that I was deadly serious.

Gotcha. That was a pretty bold on your part, by the way. Good stuff

one issue you face might be that you project too much of an "entertainer" vibe? A little too high-effort perhaps?

Well, I'm definitely trying a lot and not getting much back. Marty, I'll take your counsel into the field and try my hardest to cut out the entertaining

Thanks for the tip

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Update

I rolled off for 2 days and then shot her another message after she didn't reply about the date suggestion:




Guess we're still in the race boys! Didn't expect that to work.

I'll respond tomorrow morning

 

[Zoro]

Text game is a whole other game.

Surprised that worked and I'd like to know if you meet up with her for a date!


You might want to learn to reel back your temptation to text again in general before you get a reply for at least a day or two (I'd do two)

For two reasons.

-Girls love to test, this is one way. If they crumble first and reply, then you've got the pants on now and thats a good thing.

-You can use that energy to meet another girl in the mean time, forget about this girl and find a girl who texts you back quicker (read:more interested)

On the flipside, fuck the naysayers and do what you do and see if it works for you!

Though doing this myself, I ultimately come back to the advice given on this site haha...

J Wick

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

You might want to learn to reel back your temptation to text again in general before you get a reply for at least a day or two (I'd do two)

Yeah, you know, I experimented with the "double text" (spaced two minutes apart) because a few girls kept doing it to me. This was the first attempt ever, so we'll see how that works out after a dozen more cases - probably not well. I followed your advice with the "cough,cough" because I waited 3 days to send that one.

Girls love to test, this is one way. If they crumble first and reply, then you've got the pants on now and that's a good thing.

Yeah you have a point. Once, a girl texted me six days later. I don't see the point to these games, man. It's so sad

Surprised that worked and I'd like to know if you meet up with her for a date!

I was surprised too dude. Deep down, I had a feeling she was just punishing me for the double text, so I disappeared for a few days.

-You can use that energy to meet another girl in the mean time, forget about this girl and find a girl who texts you back quicker (read:more interested)

Yeah, you know, for this very reason I'm not too keen on responding back to her. You make a good point here. If I do decide to text her later, I'll update.

 

[Chase]

GP-

A note on some of your dialogue… Marty’s got you covered on the in-person. On the text:

Her: I just finished all of that delicious ice cream

You: You didn’t save some for me, Anna! Heartbroken

This strikes me as a little too silly… a bit over-the-top emotion-wise, and the whole “save me some” part is a little on the silly side (it was fun a few years ago, but is kind of dated humor at this point - everybody does it).

If you wanted to be funny here, you’d be better served with:

Her: I just finished all of that delicious ice cream

You: Wow, you’ve been working on that for a long time

or

Her: I just finished all of that delicious ice cream

You: If you keep talking about that I’m going to go buy some myself

The invitation on the date strikes me as just too ask-y / nice, and a bit unoriginal sounding:

You: Also, when’s a good day for you to come out for tea this week?

I’d suggest going with:

You: So, tea: what day are we doing this?

or

You: Checking my schedule, it looks like any day but Friday will work for me for tea. Suggestions?

The *cough, cough* move is very nice, however… sharp thinking there, GP.

If you tighten down your dialogue, both in person and over text, and dial back on some of the dramatic-ness and replace it with more original turns of the phrase, I think you'll be in good shape.

Chase

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Marty’s got you covered on the in-person

Thanks again, Marty

This strikes me as a little too silly… a bit over-the-top emotion-wise

Gotcha, Chase

If you wanted to be funny here, you’d be better served with:

Her: I just finished all of that delicious ice cream

You: Wow, you’ve been working on that for a long time

I see your point here. Funny while avoiding the melodrama

The invitation on the date strikes me as just too ask-y / nice, and a bit unoriginal sounding:

there's that word nice.....ewwwwww

If you tighten down your dialogue, both in person and over text, and dial back on some of the dramatic-ness and replace it with more original turns of the phrase, I think you'll be in good shape.

Okay thank you for the feedback. Seems like you and Marty are telling me that I need to be cooler/less buddy-buddy friendly. I'm thinking maybe it's a "needy" vibe that has do die over time as I rack up more rejections

I'd like to know if you meet up with her for a date!

Hey J wick - update for you. We had plans for last Thursday. Thing is, when I went to confirm a time she started a new conversation thread then didn't respond to my next message. I've moved on now

-You can use that energy to meet another girl in the mean time, forget about this girl and find a girl who texts you back quicker (read:more interested)

Yep, you're right man! Back to the hustle.