FR++ I was THIS close man.

[Vash]

For most of my life, I've been the aloof, quiet and intellectual type, but the shyness is what ultimately held me back from branching out of my comfort zone. Never really had much friends, and I remember for a while I used to hate girls because they were too damn confusing. It's a good thing I found this site when I did since really all hope was about to be lost. I then realized that I didn't like how things were going, and that I wanted to be desired by women. I spent months memorizing Chase's articles, working on my fundementals, my fashion, opening girls, et cetera. For the past few months, I've mostly been having fun with it, flirting with girls, asking if they were single, getting their numbers and never really doing anything with it, things like that. I was trying to grease the wheels a bit, so only recently have I actually went out on actual dates. And this one was not bad for literally just winging it.

Just a little bit history about the girl. She was in my Calc class last semester, and one day out of blue after class, she approached me and asked if I understood this stuff and was good at it. She said I always looked super relaxed in class and that I never took notes (Chase's fundumentals seemed to have worked! Not taking notes was more of a preference since I didn't feel the need to. Math has always been sort of a cake-walk for me), and asked if I could help her. She was really freaking cute, and being the nice guy that I was, I said what the hell, and she gave me her number. I messed up since didn't challenge her at all (What's in it for me?), but it was whatever. I helped her twice, not her in room unfortunately, she wanted to meet in the library. And after that, I kinda forgot about her, since I was too busy messing around opening other girls that didn't lead anywhere. I was also working out during this time, and still am, and wanted to wait on approaching girls until a gained a fair bit of muscle.

So. Fast forward to last Saturday. Randomly, as if instinct just took over, I just said "I wanna get laid." So for the hell of it, since I really had nothing to lose, I texted her out of the blue, and asked how things were going. She said she was great and she started talking about our Calc class and how we did, she got a B, she thanked me for helping her and all that jazz. I started to pick up on something when she sent me kiss and blushing smilies randomly. I know that doesn't mean anything really, but I just decided to cut to the Chase (get it?) and I asked if she was single. She said yes, and I told her I was just curious since I thought she was cute and I wanted to know if she wanted to go out. She said she thought I was cute too, and said she'd love that. That certainly surprised me. I said cool, and we decided on just late night dinner at the caf (I remembered Chase's article on simplifying dates) on Monday. And that was that.

During the date, I was nervous since I was afraid if there being awkward silences, but once again, remebered Chase's advice to EMBRACE the silence and lay on the tension. And man does that work. I deep dived, and redirected her questions back at her while giving half answers, all while trying to exude a sexual vibe. She was practically eating it up. After a while, I need an excuse to move her, so I gave a bullshit one about watching Netflix back at my room (Netflix is like, the king of excuses for lays), and she happily agreed.

So we made our way back, got her in the room, and I didn't even turn on the TV. We sorta just chilled a little and talked for a bit, and ONCE AGAIN, Chase's advice rings in my head. I remember the 10 minute rule, and decide to kiss her in the middle of conversation. She was stunned and blushed a little, so I said, what the hell, and went for another, which turned into a full on make-out. I was touching all over her body, and she was being quite agressive as well. I stopped for a bit and looked her in the eyes, to which she said shyly "You sure move fast." "No point beating around the bush. Wouldn't you agree?" From there we kissed some more, I and tried to escalate by removing her shirt, until SHE stopped me and said "I thought we were just going to be friends."

"And what on Earth gave you that impression?"

Because you helped her in Math, genius.

"I don't know...just...do you this with all the girls you meet?"

"Maybe."

Really? Is that the best answer you could come up with?

"Well, when was the last time you had sex?"

Ah fuck.

"Does it matter?"

"Not really, I'm just curious."

"Well if it doesn't matter then why are you curious?"

There we go. Reclaimed control.

"Just tell me."

Aaaand we lost it again.

"...."

Well, honesty is the best policy, right?

"...Never."

"Really? You're a virgin?"

"Yeah. Not that big a deal."

Play it as cool as possible man. You already fucked up.

"I'd love to have sex with you right now, but it's a little too early for me."

....What kind of bullshit excuse is that?

"Too early?"

"Yeah, and plus I'm on my period...I have a tampon on right now."

Could've fooled me, sister.

"Doesn't matter much to me."

Way to sound desperate.

"Really? Most guys would be kinda grossed out."

"Well, I'm different."

Can't use the "I find it to be a turn-on" excuse, since she knows you're a virgin now...

"Well, I think we should wait. You're really attractive, and I want to enjoy it more..."
Around this time, my roommate texted me and told me he was coming back in like 5 mintues, so I had to get her her to leave, but we made out a bit more (she's awfully agressive for someone who wanted to wait) before we said goodbye. Goddammit. Well, my roommate would've came eventually, so I can't really control that. But next time, I'll persist more. I'm still stunned at how easily this all happened though. Chase's adivce is really working...

 

[charming]

It's all in your head Vash. You're a sexy man whom women desire, act like it! Great field report. I'll look forward to that forth coming lay report.

 

[Dunking Style]

Hey Vash,

Great job man!

I think there's some room for improvement in the texting and conversation during escalation. You might have set more of a boyfriend tone during your texting. And another thing is..I think you got a bit lucky because you revealed all your cards by telling her you like her. That might have been trouble big time..but thankfully she already made up her mind that she also wanted some fun!

As Chase mentions..it's a lot easier to take her pants off and get her excited before you get to the shirt..since everyone starts with the shirt. This action itself may raise some red flags in a girl's mind..like in your case.

There were many places during this shaky escalation where you could've definitely saved the interaction and got what you wanted.

"I don't know...just...do you this with all the girls you meet?"

"Maybe."

A pretty horrible answer imo..since it gets her thinking you really do have sex with every girl you meet. Maybe is the "well i don't really wanna sound bad saying yes..but seriously..yes." While I don't have an answer to that question right now to help you (I'll let the other talented guys here fill you in), you probably could've said something like:
1: (Serious) No, I only find a beautiful, intelligent woman like you attractive.
2: (Sarcastic) Yes, I do this with every girl who likes to bark at dogs, never goes out in the rainy weather, and thinks that rolling down the grass should be an olympic sport event.
So basically with #2..you mention a combination of her personal traits [with at least one that's unique to her..and ofcourse..add in some silly ones] and make it sound like you would only do it with her since nobody else has all those personality traits combined.

 

[Dunking Style]

"Yeah, and plus I'm on my period...I have a tampon on right now."

"Doesn't matter much to me."

This answer sounded like you just wanted her to have sex with you.
As Chase mentions..during sex and lmr, she's only worried about how you think of her. Reassure her that everything is okay, make her feel good about herself..and she will be all yours for the night.

I would suggest something like:
Your intelligence and beauty attracts me regardless of whether you're wearing a tampon or not. Also, I like how you're being completely upfront with me. That's hot.

"Really? Most guys would be kinda grossed out."

"Well, I'm different."

Again..you sounded like you were saying anything for sex.
It's probably a better idea to just tell her HOW YOU'RE DIFFERENT. Cuz if somebody said to you "I'm different", how would you know? You wouldn't.


Those are just some of my thoughts on your interactions..but nevertheless..great job! Even with all those glaring problems in the conversation..you were THAT CLOSE. You must be doing a lot of things right..like having a sexy vibe. With a few tweaks here and there..you won't have to worry about getting to home base from the third base..because you'll be scoring a homerun straight up!

 

[Vash]

charming, thanks man! I'll admit I'm still of stunned to be told by a girl that I'm really attractive, since I've always doubted myself for a long time. But you're right that I should embrace it and own it.

Dunking Style, my God, you're absolutely right. I know I was sounding a little bit desperate, but I should've made more of an effort of putting her mind at ease and being non-judgmental. She seemed to be super into me, and she even said at one point she was trying really hard to restrain herself because I was so attractive. This was still kinda shocking for me, so I guess I started to fumble a bit. It's a shame I won't get to meet with her till after Spring Break, but at least I'll know how to make the next interaction better. But hey, even during break, I can get some practice in.

 

[girlsfollow]

"I thought we were just going to be friends."

"And what on Earth gave you that impression?"

Because you helped her in Math, genius.

"I don't know...just...do you this with all the girls you meet?"

"Maybe."

Really? Is that the best answer you could come up with?

"Well, when was the last time you had sex?"

Ah fuck.

"Does it matter?"

I've said it before and I'll say it again - fake it till you make it - its a bad idea to tell a girl (that isn't a virgin, and even if she is) that you are a virgin - its basically like saying "I have NO/ZERO preselection and I have no clue what I am doing and am going to be RUBBISH in bed" in one go - its a BIG DLV. Don't do it! In fact its worse than saying it - its implying it and girls go on implication - that is how her brian reads what you said! (her subconscious was going YES IT IS A BIG DEAL (obviously it isn't- but thats what her brain says!)

I would have probably ignored her friends comment or said "oh yeh thats cool - lets play scrabble instead" - sexy smile and then slowly pull away and seem disinterested - she should pull you back (expect it and she will)...and then gone back to making out. To her second question: "yeh every single girl I meet - its a lot of work!". Third, "about an hour ago when I went to the toilet while we were talking 3 strippers came to me and really wanted it" Then carry on escalating. You dont need to answer her questions, infact I make a BIG effort to not answer questions directly EVER unless its with a NO.

You had it in the bag but dumped a MASSIVE DLV (possibly the biggest!) at the worst moment you could have. Next time sort that out and study LMR and you are sorted!

 

[Landlord]

Vash, I admire the shit out of you.
With NO experience and LITTLE game, you sacked up and WENT FOR IT!
There are a million other guys out there that would have done NOTHING but go home with a box of tissues.
You got the date, you managed to get her back to your place (OMFG!) AND you made out with her, without even going through the motions on Netflix!
For a math nerd, you are a fucking Rock Star Vash!!! Bravo!

Her key issue was "not being taken advantage of by a player" or "not looking like a slut."
You actually like this girl, and you're no player (yet). She admires your intellect and thinks you are cute.
So you actually had a chance with this girl....still do in my opinion.

So, it's been said here I think, but here's where you blew it:

1. Dont ask her if she is single. That's AFC. If she has a boyfriend she will tell you.
Either way DGAF! Every attractive woman has options. Unless she is married, the other guy is in YOUR spot—take it!

2. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out"——you gave her the power. And more often than not they will say "NO" if they are not sure.
You must have really impressed this girl that she DID go out with you. Next time say "I'm going to XYZ this week, You should join me!"
Girls really are not sure what they want much of the time... until you tell them.

3. When she asked you if you do this with all the girls, what she was telling you is "I want permission to fuck you."
What permission? That she's not a slut, that you're not a player, that you like her, that you will still respect her, etc. etc.
You genuinely had ALL of those things ....Just say "I never do this. But it just feels like the right thing with you."

4. "Whens the last time you had Sex"—I'd joke about it and refuse to answer directly.
Lie and say "ive only been with a few girls, I'm pretty picky" if you have to.
The truth is, When you DO finally have sex Vash...sorry mate, you are going to SUCK at it!
You are going to REALLY suck at it. She's probably not coming back for seconds, so don't get one-itus on this chick.
Sorry, that's the truth. Learn what you can about technique so that YOU are comfortable enough to enjoy it,
but just accept that your first time (first 10 times maybe?) are just for practice. This is the path you must walk, young Padawan learner.
You couldn't rock at Calculus if you didn't even know how to count to ten, now could you?

Wait 2-3 days, start sending her flirty text messages.Escalate, then Invite her out for a drink after 4 or 5 days.
Make out with her a bit in the bar. Get her hot. Get her back to your house again, but DONT pin your hopes on penetration as the necessary outcome.
Have fun with it, enjoy being with a sexy woman. Make it all about HER pleasure. See where it goes...if you go out with this girl 3 or 4 or 5 times and THEN have sex it will be better for both of you is my guess.

I wish I was at your level when I was your age Vash.

 

[girlsfollow]

"I never do this. But it just feels like the right thing with you."

I like that line - once you get good at this you will get mistaken for a player a lot (I've been there) and this is actually a really good line - -probably better than the joke I threw back at that point!

Kudos to you for getting mistaken for a player as a V - you must have really nailed the confidence (read: bullshit and faking it) So just keep that up and dont let it phase you - you did well apart from what I said earlier with the DLV.

 

[Vash]

I never understand this though. Why is it bad to openly tell a girl that you're interested in them? How else are you supposed to get your intent across without just saying it in the beginning of the interaction?

I don't see what's wrong with telling a girl you're a virgin, since if things don't go as expected, she'll...what's the word I'm looking for... Blame it?...on being your first time rather than you just being a player who's horrible in bed. Because yeah girls want experienced guys, but how are the inexperienced guys supposed to get experience if the girls won't let them get it in the first place?

 

[Landlord]

Vash,

1. Why telling her outright that you are interested is bad: It reduces sexual tension.
Do her a favor and ALLOW her the Emotional Experience of wondering if you like her or not and then finding out you do through actions not words.
Telling her outright maybe feels like a relief for you, but then you're denying her the emotional excitement and intrigue she wants.
Be a man.

2. Why telling her you are a virgin is wrong:
A. It is intimidating to her. It makes her think too much, which takes her out of the moment.
"Will I break his heart?"
"Why will I sleep with him when other women didn't? What's wrong with me?"
"What if I am bad in bed and I give him the wrong impression?"
etc.

B. You're getting hung up on "what she thinks". You're looking for a way to avoid judgement by her.
Why you giving away your power like that? She's just a young girl, scared shitless like you.
Let her judge....You Don't Give A Fuck! (DGAF)
trust me—sex often does not go as expected. No big deal. Keep trying.
Have fun, enjoy her, do your best to give her pleasure.
Don't sweat the rest.



Reframe this as 'practice'—do your best to give her pleasure and enjoy yourself—and don't worry about wh

 

[girlsfollow]

I never understand this though. Why is it bad to openly tell a girl that you're interested in them? How else are you supposed to get your intent across without just saying it in the beginning of the interaction?

It DESTROYS intrigue, simple - never say things straight - girls love the game of woking out the meaning of things - don't talk like a clueless man "I love your body want to have sex?" is probably the logical thing to say - but it doesn't create intrigue! puts YOU IN THE CHASING POSITION - and ITS NO FUN!

I don't see what's wrong with telling a girl you're a virgin, since if things don't go as expected, she'll...what's the word I'm looking for... Blame it?...on being your first time rather than you just being a player who's horrible in bed. Because yeah girls want experienced guys, but how are the inexperienced guys supposed to get experience if the girls won't let them get it in the first place?

Dude???? Did you even read my post which states very clearly what exactly is wrong with telling her ????

They couldn't care less what your excuse is for sucking at it, blame is irrelevant - I just gave you a very clear way to get experience - FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. And yes faking it is 100 times better than just admitting you are crap and then being crap - its mostly just a confidence show anyway so just believe you are going to be good (which if you read up on it you can be quite ok!) and then do it believing you know what you are doing and you'll be ok - it worked for my first time and she never even questioned it. Do it and stop worrying about it you'll be fine.

 

[MickBN]

vash,

I'm 24 and just recently lost my virginity to my GF. My first GF that is. She is 17 and from what i read here and what our fellow members here says and writes. Telling a girl you're a virgin is a bad idea.
I managed to score my girl without telling her. However, she did honestly not believe me when i finally told her. To keep it a "secret" or whatever you want to call it. I had talked to her about all the girls i had known and talked to through the years. How they looked and so on. I never said directly that i had sex with them at any point. I just vaguely implied that my chances were there. I used this technique on a few girls while i was trying to score with either one of them and it seemed to work on all them. There were 3, 2 of those knows today that i was a virgin when hitting on them ^^ and none of them still actually truly believe it.

Because of some of chases articles and me trying to build some confidence in her. I have control over the relationship but make it seem as if she is in control. Therefore i waited to tell her until after around 1½-2 months in. We were playing around in bed, no penetration. She told me she really wanted to have sex with me and we tried a few times without success. I finally told her one night just before heading to the bedroom. So i do not think you should be scared of waiting to tell her. If she truly likes you it won't be an issue. But if you just want to have sex with her and nothing else, you definitely shouldn't tell her at any point.

And like Landlord says try contacting her again. Now it's out and maybe she would love to retry/re-do your date

 

[Landlord]

Good point Mick, if it's your proper girlfriend and she really likes you—different situation.
Mick, I'd be careful who you share details of your sex life with—in some jurisdictions, 24-17 is considered statutory.
Not judging you—those numbers are arbitrary and in some cases the laws are totally ridiculous, but still...

 

[MickBN]

Good point Mick, if it's your proper girlfriend and she really likes you—different situation.
Mick, I'd be careful who you share details of your sex life with—in some jurisdictions, 24-17 is considered statutory.
Not judging you—those numbers are arbitrary and in some cases the laws are totally ridiculous, but still...

I know man ... tried to keep it as clean as possible

 

[Chase]

Vash-

Vash, I admire the shit out of you.
With NO experience and LITTLE game, you sacked up and WENT FOR IT!
There are a million other guys out there that would have done NOTHING but go home with a box of tissues.
You got the date, you managed to get her back to your place (OMFG!) AND you made out with her, without even going through the motions on Netflix!
For a math nerd, you are a fucking Rock Star Vash!!! Bravo!

+1 to this. Way to just follow it to the letter.

One of the coolest things about starting fresh but with a reasonably complete idea of what to do book-learning wise is that you can execute on all the steps before you even really know you're supposed to be intimidated. You'll meet tons of guys when you get to university who can't make a move with girls they take out, and you'll just be doing it automatically like, "That's not so hard!"

Here, you just followed your process and everything went smooth right up until you got to the escalation. The road got bumpy there, but a few more tweaks and you're good.

A couple main points:

• Keep your hands moving during escalation and be sensitive to her movements - if you sense she's about to take your hands away, move them off to somewhere else on her body before she can do it
• Attack her with bursts of passion where you really push things forward, then calm back down and go into gentle escalation, and alternate, if you run into any roadblocks along the way
• Keep the mindset of teasing and intriguing her going even as you escalate - you want to make her wonder all the way up to the point you're inside her - only then can she stop wondering (until she starts wondering about your relationship status afterward, that is)

All in all, great work taking the ball and running with it, man. You'll have ups and downs as you learn this stuff, but nice to see you get started off on the right foot.

Chase