Books & Articles Iinside the mind of Shy Guys

[Eternity]

I found this article while researching being bitter in life. Its a rather excellent article ,IMO, in how shy guys think or feel. I know some guys here were or are shy (myself included) and would like to read a little more about it.
http://www.succeedsocially.com/shyguys

P.S- Reminds me of Chase's site w/ alot of articles just based on social awkwardness instead.

 

[Chase]

Neat article, Eternity.

The point that stuck out the most to me was the guy who's calm when he first meets a girl, then obsesses over her and gets nervous with her later and trips over his own two feet. I noticed early on in my seduction career that I had to absolutely positively NOT think about a girl I liked if I wanted to get anywhere with her... I trained myself to always think about other girls instead of the girl I'd just met. It made it a lot easier to not be stumbling around anymore - also helped keep me out of falling in love in situations where the girl was more experienced than I was in early relationships.

Secret is to just refuse to think about some new girl, and imagine all the other girls you'll meet instead (or focus your thoughts on some other, less important woman).

Chase

 

[Eternity]

Thanks. Maybe you can add this the Carnival of Dating series, its rather good and comprehensive.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

yeah, this was a good read.

"At other times it's more of a powerful, paralyzing hesitation. Like they know how they want to act, but an invisible force field is preventing them from doing so."

This is exactly what it felt like for me a lot of times, and if I'm honest, occasionally still does. Obvious escalation windows would appear, but I would be in the grip of some horrible paralysis, a bit like waking sleep apnea, which would last for... oooh, about as long as the window was open. Of course I was unfamiliar with the concepts of escalation and attraction drop-off back then.
What was really fucked as well, is that I would have really lovely sexy dreams about hooking up with hot chicks but I would experience exactly the same block subconciously. This was the cause of so much depression and anguish... If you can't even dream about something what's the likleyhood of it ever happening when you're awake? Thank goodness I've made some progress since then, those times weren't even that long ago!

 

[Flames]

I've been pretty much every stage of 'shy' at some point I've just had to work through it as best I can, but I'm out the other side now and it's starting to feel good