"I'll let you know, I'm still figuring out my schedule rn" (Is this her presuming higher value over me?)

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

Tactics Tuesdays: When She Texts You "We'll See"

When she texts you “maybe” or “we’ll see”, what does it mean? Why do women text this? There are ways to reduce this happening – as well as ways to deal with it once it happens. A reader named Daniel writes in: “Hey guys, I have been gaming for a few years now, and I notice a theme. When I ask a...

www.girlschase.com

When a girl texts you “we’ll see”, she has presumed higher value over you. You don’t text “maybe” or “we’ll see” unless the other person you’re messaging is clearly lower value than you are.

With “I’ll let you know”, it’s rather context dependent. Here’s an example of when it wouldn’t be her presuming higher value:

You: blah blah blah We should grab that bite. What’s your schedule like this week or next?
Her: It’s still very up in the air. I might be free on Friday or I might not be free until next week. I won’t know until Wednesday at least.
You: Cool, no worries. Just let me know once you know and we’ll set a date and time.
Her: Okay! I’ll let you know!

^ so like that, no problem. She’s not presuming higher value over you; she’s cooperative here and responding like an equal (or lower).

Now here’s an example where she does presume higher value:

You: blah blah blah We should grab that bite. What’s your schedule like this week or next?
Her: It’s too early in the week to have a schedule yet. I’ll let you know!

^ in this case, she presumes higher value. Which is simply another way of saying “You want me more than I want you.” Yech. Why do women do this?

There are three factors that feed into a reception like this:

1. The first impression you made on her when you took her contact info
2. Any interaction she’s had with you between then and the date request
3. How you frame your date request

In particular, we want to pay attention to your value and your attainability in these situations. That’s because if at any point she gets the idea you are lower value than she is, you’ll start to get “maybe” and “we’ll see” messages.

Yet attainability can produce these messages for you too. If you send her into auto-rejection, your value becomes invisible to her, and you are, for all intents and purposes, now ‘low value’ as well (even if you’re very high value). Imagine your favorite movie star pissing off some girl on the street by acting too haughty... and him then asking her out and getting a “We’ll see”, because she now values giving him his comeuppance more than she values whatever thrills, status, or gene package he might provide her. His value’s still there, but thanks to his haughtiness she can’t access it.

So in my case, after a bit of back and forth it went like

Her: "Let's hang out soon~"
Me: "Yess let's do it! What's ur sched like?"
Her: I'll lyk by Wednesday (this was on Sunday) cause I'm figuring out plans rn.

In this context does this sound like she's taking 'charge' by saying 'ill lyk'?

 

[Chase]

@DaVinciMatrixStyle,

Your text comes across reactive, i.e., she is the leader, you are the follower:

Her: [chill proposal]​

You: [excited agreement! when should we?]​

Her: [i'll let you know]​

At the tactical level:

• She proposed something general (statement)
• You excitedly agreed, then asked her when (question)
• She told you she's busy and figuring things out and will let you know (statement)

You can see the flip in her response from "we should do something" to "ohhhh boy, this guy's overeager. Well, I'd better be firm here in case he gets the wrong idea... this is going to be firmly on my terms."

Her including the bit about "cause I'm figuring out my schedule rn" is her communicating that she is busy, just to set the frame there... because your response comes across as if you are NOT busy, and girls are rather used to unbusy guys turning overly demanding/

A proper response would've been:

Her: Let's hang out soon~​

You: For sure. LMK your schedule this week / next. There's a super cool cafe I know with killer decor I'd love to show you​

Her: Okay! I'll lyk by Wednesday​

You will almost certainly NOT get the bit about "figuring out my schedule rn" if you are cool about it and show you aren't in a rush.

You also need to take the lead and propose something... her doing "let's hang out sometime" does not mean you can just say "Yes, just tell me the time and the place!" because you are the man, you must lead. So you respond with a date proposal you then oversell.

Format:

She says: "Let's hang"

You say: "[RELAXED AGREEMENT]. [SCHEDULE CHECK]. [VANILLA DATE PROPOSAL THAT YOU OVERSELL]"

You go for a vanilla date idea unless you REALLY know she likes X kinds of dates because you just want something that is as non-disagreeable as possible... then you oversell it to make it sound worthwhile.

As for this girl, if you don't hear back (which I'd put at 50/50), you can just text her the same thing next week:

"Hey Bianca! Sorry I missed you last week. Meant to text but got super swamped. Let's hang this week / next. There's a really cool cafe with this neat, quirky decor I'd love to show you. Let me know your schedule this/next week & we'll plan it out."

Chase

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

At the tactical level:

• She proposed something general (statement)
• You excitedly agreed, then asked her when (question)
• She told you she's busy and figuring things out and will let you know (statement)

Dammit.

I just had another girl asking me to hang out excitedly and Hector told me I came off condescending and blowing her off cause I was mum about it. So I tried to fix it but now I seemed too excited. SMH.

I have to remember to adjust to the girl.

Thanks Chase

How bout this one? It was with another girl. I think this was a similar case.

(On Social Media)

(After watching my story)
Her: Hey are you in X too? lol
Me: Hey J! Yes I am!
Her: i was there a few mins ago lol
Her: then went for dinner
Me: What! Tell me next time hahaha

Too much excitement huh? I'm going too much to the other way.

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

You say: "[RELAXED AGREEMENT]. [SCHEDULE CHECK]. [VANILLA DATE PROPOSAL THAT YOU OVERSELL]"

You go for a vanilla date idea unless you REALLY know she likes X kinds of dates because you just want something that is as non-disagreeable as possible... then you oversell it to make it sound .

noted

 

[Chase]

How bout this one? It was with another girl. I think this was a similar case.

(On Social Media)

(After watching my story)
Her: Hey are you in X too? lol
Me: Hey J! Yes I am!
Her: i was there a few mins ago lol
Her: then went for dinner
Me: What! Tell me next time hahaha

Too much excitement huh? I'm going too much to the other way.

That looks fine to me.

It's not really an invitation... just some playful banter.

I don't know what type of relationship you have with this girl, but assuming it's friendly/familial, it's fine.

You can follow that up a few days later with a proper invitation to go out.

Chase