I'm 19. Would it be better for me to have relationships with older women?

[Ryan]

'Older' as in 24 - 29. I feel that they would teach me much more (actively and passively) than just fumbling around with another romantic and sexual virgin (relatively) who's my age.

I can't remember the article's name exactly, but i do remember Chase saying that one should never go out with another with the same sexual experience and character.

As i'm very sexually inexperienced and i don't have a strong character yet (due to my inexperience), it would be a terrible idea to go out with a girl who shares these traits, as neither of us would know how to take control of the relationship and move things forward.


However, i'm concerned i won't be able to practice being manly and confident this way. I guess the only reason such a woman would enter a relationship with a guy much younger than her is to 'mother' him, and so i would just need to continue relying on my boyish charms, rather than focus and improving on my manly charisma.

Hope someone can share their insight on this. I'm a bit confused. Thanks.

P.S. One last thing, how do i prevent the difference in age from becoming a serious issue that ruins everything? I once went out with a girl a few years older than i (she thought i was older than i actually was) and when she realised my age, she made such a big deal about age, and accused me of bringing age up when i wasn't even talking about the subject.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Hmm...this an interesting question.

On one hand, a girl who is in that age range generally is already pretty mature, has had romantic and sexual experience and correspondingly expects the guy she is with to know what he is doing when they are going out with each other and when they are in bed together. Few girls actively teach a guy, especially at that age...they just expect you to know how to please them, relate to them, move things along and handle them. I think younger girls are a lot more forgiving because they haven't had better, but they are sometimes also less open minded due to inexperience. On the other hand, there are older women who are very direct about what they want from you. Here, it is expected that you know how to read their body language and their "hints" when they give them.

If you find the idea intriguing, it might be worth your while to look into women in their 30's who actively seek encounters with much younger men.



As for age, I think that you should keep it a mystery always (younger as well as older women), at least until after you have slept with a girl a few times. You might deflect and re-calibrate the question back at her. You might choose a chase or sexual frame, such as:

HER: "How old are you?"
YOU: "We just met, and you're already sizing me up for a relationship?"

This type of an answer will create more intrigue in her about how old you really are, and she will most likely try to ask you again. In my experience you just have to play it off and deflect, even if she accuses you of refusing to tell her or accuses you of hiding something. Maintain the mystery, but it must be done in a playful and strategic way that doesn't make you look suspicious. If you give her a straight answer that she doesn't like, that's GG.



Other things: grow and maintain stylish facial hair to make yourself look older, dress more stylish and sophisticated than a 19 year old (not necessarily more expensive taste, just more suave and refined). Hang out with people in that age range and learn how they talk to each other and what they talk about.

 

[trashKENNUT]

ryan,

I can't remember the article's name exactly, but i do remember Chase saying that one should never go out with another with the same sexual experience and character.

I believe Chase doesn't say a total "no" to that. I believe what he meant that it is not advisable. For me, i believe so. Because she can't help you and teach you things is the first point. and Even if you manage to help yourself, you both will split some time later, because you're on the same level. It becomes stagnant. So the latter, the second point is something i believe and it has happen for me.

Unfortunately i don't know if the second point is also why i don't believe in long term relationships. because she's getting better too.

However, i'm concerned i won't be able to practice being manly and confident this way. I guess the only reason such a woman would enter a relationship with a guy much younger than her is to 'mother' him, and so i would just need to continue relying on my boyish charms, rather than focus and improving on my manly charisma.

Older women are more concern with what you think of them.

P.S. One last thing, how do i prevent the difference in age from becoming a serious issue that ruins everything? I once went out with a girl a few years older than i (she thought i was older than i actually was) and when she realised my age, she made such a big deal about age, and accused me of bringing age up when i wasn't even talking about the subject.

She went into auto-rejection, unfortunately. IT was unlucky of you to happen at that time.

Zac