I'm confused guys help me understand!

[trilegius]

Hey,guys I've got something that kinda bothers me.

I know how important are the fundamentals, and I try working on them to get them as tight as I can.What I really don't understand though, is how on earth some guys who really have shitty fundamentals end up with georgeous girls?
I mean it really bugs me although I try to catch myself when I'm getting jealous,cause I know it is not a constructive emotion,but sometimes is really hard.I see guys on the street with hairstyles that looks like "grandpa hairstyle" didn't found better words ) ,dresses with clothes that doesn't fit them,have bad posture etc. and you see a georgeous girl holding hands with them,and I'm like what the fuck? You can't stop thinking Jesus what the hell she sees at him he looks like a worse version of Steve Jobs,and probably did't have his money either(no not probably,he really doesn't).It could be his social fundamentals? Or the fact that he meet her through his social circle? Or that he was lucky? I really don't understand sometimes,and I don't wanna lie I'm trying really hard not to be jealous,most of the times I'm not, but sometimes I'm like god I'm like a GQ model compared to him!!! Now I don't really wanna insinuate that fundamentals are not important!

But I'll appreciate if you guys who are more experienced could make me understand,what the fuck is going on,I know girls are more emotional,but they really have no standards?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Trilegius,

shitty fundamentals end up with georgeous girls?

1)Waiting man game (3 mths to 2yr friends, then relationship after)

- in school, this happens a lot. But there are enough girls who date outside guys too. "Outside" guys can be senior student or dating guys outside of school.

2)Same class (Waiting man game)

3)Same co-curriculum (Waiting man game)

4)Same school (Waiting man game)

5)Clubbing, then text, then date (Investment man game)

6)Party, then text, then date (Investment man game)

and so on.

Here is what i totally know

1)Waiting man game
2)Sex rarely happen on the first date. Kiss is the replacement for sex.
3)Their attraction can be sometimes mutual that sex is out of the picture. I have met girls where sex isn't just all that i think about (but can be detrimental if its too long).
4)Investment man game

Zac

 

[Smith]

I saw RSDTyler making this analogy the other day...At a high level of basketball game, height doesn't matter. Stephen Curry can probably beat a lot of other players who are taller than him. So same thing in game, at a high level of "game", looks doesn't matter. Get rid of this bitterness that "ugly guys get hotter girls than you". It doesn't serve you man. In fact see this as an inspiration rather than a negative. If he could do it, then you could do it. He could get the girl through social circle, or maybe his game is just better than you....why do u care lol Focus on your own path.

 

[ray_zorse]

In addition to what's already been said, bear in mind that dudes might have shit fundamentals either because they are slobs (want to impress others but are too lazy or don't know how)... OR because they genuinely don't give a fuck about impressing others or fitting society's stereotypes/niches. I mean lets think about it, do we work out 4x a week because we enjoy it and want to be healthy, or is it because we want to get bigger muscles than the next guy with the perceived advantages that brings? Probably a bit of both, right? We don't actually need big muscles for our daily life and also there are probably better ways of getting healthy than lifting right? So we could regard excessive bodybuilding as inefficient. Same with fashion only more so, since there are basically no health benefits to wearing tight clothes in good brands right? Well to some extent it gives us a sexual advantage by showing off the goods so to speak... but you see my point? A dude who genuinely finds these sorts of pursuits inefficient or unnecessary wrt. his goals could be quite attractive to women, in a sense he is above qualification. Most guys I see with this kind of attitude are actually slobs who additionally have chosen to identify with some loser group or other (anti commercialist, anti consumerist, refuse to wear a suit even to a job interview, whatever) but SOME are actually the real deal, so confident in themselves and their intrinsic value that they have no need to package it attractively for others. For example silicon valley geeks, if they make enough money to live a lifestyle of some ease (which they probably do if they're smart and passionate about whatever technology they're into) they're gonna meet a tolerable amount of women while also living a pretty geeky life, i.e. hanging out with other people whose opinions they respect despite their shit fundamentals and non dominant behaviour. And whilst we at GC espouse MOVING FAST that's partly because a lot of shit can go wrong and we need to capitalize on initial attraction before that happens... whereas if a dude is the real deal (doesn't give a shit what she thinks, given he's confident of his place in the world) and doesn't mind getting bf zoned (in fact makes little real effort to move things forward as he knows that isn't necessary when attraction is strong and mutual)... then actually not much CAN go wrong. These kinds of ponderings have basically led me to the view that the reason most of us don't get laid or only get laid with difficulty, is we're not the real deal, and IMO that comes down to the support or reinforcement we received in our formative years. If you show me a dude with shit fundamentals and a hot woman on his arm, then I'll put money down he comes from a happy supportive home where he was encouraged to be his best (but not coddled or pressured) and given lots of praise plus a little constructive criticism here and there... was given firm but fair boundaries and so on, essentially is not carrying any unresolved childhood traumas (toxic shame as Bradshaw would put it, a painbody as Tolle would put it). Unfortunately that's a tiny fraction of all men. Of course we have to play the hand we're dealt, and that could mean learning game but could also involve working on oneself intensively to identify and resolve our childhood traumas.
Ray

 

[trilegius]

Thanks for the answers,guys!!!

Smith I don't really care most of the time,I already said I know it is not productive,but sometimes my mind is weak I just wanted to know what is your take guys.

 

[Orelfius]

It could be a ton of different things. The only information we have is that it doesn't LOOK good (by your standards).

May be is an artist? Playing music? Writing poetry? Painting? A photographer? A popular novelist?
May be he's perfectly dressed for some local underground sub-culture.
May be she's a code pendant girl who want to "save him" because she see "so much great potential in him" (the female equivalent of white knighting).

Could be many things that we're not aware of...

 

[Bboy100]

Very few people do cold approach. Therefore, it's likely that the guys you're seeing met their girls via social circle. In social circle, fundamentals aren't nearly as important. Instead, everything is about behavior and status. Because of this, strong fundamentals weren't necessary for these guys.

 

[Estate]

At some point you have to understand that not every guy "games" or that every girl requires large amounts of effort to get.

On here, we are talking more about I creasing your success with MANY women. But if any guys waits long enough and lowers his standards he can get A girl.

First off about the women you talk of....
Is "hotness" your only criteria for quality? Because that's a recipe for disaster.
She might have low standards, maybe poor self image or lost a lot of weight or peaked later.
Maybe she's looking to settle down and goes for a "safe" guy who might not have style or edge but will provide for her.
Maybe she just has a preference. This guy is it. You like hot blondes, she likes this guy.
Maybe she just has some sort of issues, like the young girl going for 50 year Olds due to daddy issues, who knows.

Point is you can't generalize ALL women. They are people with opinions, likes, dislikes, high standards, low standards, etc, etc....
What SHE likes may not be what MOST girls likes, but this one does.

On the guys side.
Hey, maybe he's rich, or a Rockstar or just have some job, situation, talent, lifestyle that she's into. That's her choice.
Maybe he just got lucky and waited it out, if he lost this girl, do you know he'd be dating another hot girl like her soon after? You don't know that.
Maybe they are childhood sweethearts. It happens, maybe he let himself go, but she's committed and devoted. Some people marry the first person the date in high school and live ever after. For some people, that's the plan, they don't plays the game, they don't want to, and they live with their partners flaws without question.

I guess what I'm getting at is, this community is a very small part of the general population. Who knows, maybe this guy has ridiculous skills, but for most people, life is boring, they follow the path, some get lucky. You can't beat yourself up looking at individuals. You don't know their story.

Learn skills to appeal to a broader range of people and don't worry if you do t appeal to some. Such is life.