I'm on a Brutal Not-Closing Streak, What Am I Doing Wrong?

[FunGuy]

I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week of July. I'm on a 5 losing streak and I have never hung out with so many girls consecutively and had so much bad luck. I'm a bit lost as to what I'm doing wrong but I will try and provide some context.

I follow the black dragon method and I used to consistently close in the 2nd or 3rd date but lately everything has been going left. I would try 3 bounce method or 1st date pulls but I have horrible logistics. Right now I am only doing online apps and I live in the sub-urbs like 90 minutes away from the city and all my matches live at least an hour away. This makes it impossible to do 1st date pulls since I always have to meet in the middle. Its also inconvenient doing 3-bounce method because everything here is a 10 minute drive from each other.

For a TLDR skip down to that section

Girl 1 - This chick was super hot a 9.5 but she was slightly socially awkward and the super quiet type. 1st date went well so I planned the 2nd date close to me so that I can try to pull. On the 2nd date I was going to kiss her after we left the venue but she has this weird timid body language thing where she avoids eye contact and gets all uncomfortable so I didn't escalate and we walked for a little and then called it a day. Afterwards we were texting and I made a comment about wanting to kiss her during the date and she was like I would've been super down. 3rd date was at my place but again her body language was all weird and nervous, when I finally kissed her she was a horrible kisser. I could tell she was super nervous or self conscious so I stopped and we just hung out casually because I didn't feel comfortable escalating. That night when she gets home we text a little and she was making comments that surprised me because she was being super sexual through text but in person she gets all weird and timid. Things then fizzled out a little because her work schedule is crazy but she ended up randomly texting me while I was on a 1st date with some other chick who I ended up not liking so we ended up hanging out right after since she was nearby, this was more of a short hang out just to catch up. I then tried to set up a 4th date at my place but she refused she was like its a Friday I want to be out somewhere, I suggested 2 places and she kept being funny about it so I just said we should just postpone it for another time but I already mentally checked out and I ghosted her.

Girl 2 - Cool chick and everything was going normal until the 2nd date. I asked her what she likes in a guy and she gave her answer and then she said something along the lines of "I find x,y and z sexy about you but I have a feeling your playing games". I didn't pay much mind to her comment I thought she was just joking so I ignored it and we just kept talking about random stuff. During the 2nd date I had a light make out with her and kept it very light because I didn't have closing logistics. After she gets home from the date she calls me and shes like im so sorry I didn't kiss you back blah blah. I found this super weird I didn't get vibes that she was pulling back I guess she thought I wanted a heavy make out so I just politely reassured her and told her not to sweat it. Fast forward, I tried to set up the 3rd date at my place but she declined so I set it up close to my place so that I can try to pull afterward. I remember during the 3rd date she made a weird comment asking how I knew on the 2nd date that she liked me and why I felt so confident grabbing her and pulling her in for a kiss, I was confused by that comment I was like idk I was just in the moment. During that date she kept initiating convos about sex and asking me questions about it and I would add my 2 cents and then switch the topic and she would keep coming back to it which I found a bit odd (I couldn't tell if she was just horny or if she was trying to bait me into saying something self-incriminating). After we left the venue she initiated a heavy make out. I slowed it down and we just walked and talked casually for a while and then I made an excuse to try to get her to come to my place but she refused. It was weird because I had to force her to stop kissing me she was literally eating me and making comments implying she wants to have sex while we were making out . I tried to set up the 4th date at my place and she refused so I hard nexted her. I felt like she read one of those steve harvey books or something that tells them to make guys wait 10 dates to give it up.

Girl 3 - This girl was a bit confusing I think she had some emotional disorder. She was throwing strong I want to have sex vibes while at the same time throwing strong I want to be your gf vibes and I only spoke to her for a little over a week. So the first 2 dates went normal but I tried to pull after the 2nd date and she declined to come over. I was dating another chick at the same time and I was getting a bit annoyed at how over bearing this girl was so I was going to ghost her, shes one of those chicks who wants to text all the time. Like 4 days after no-contact she hits me up and I was curious as to where this convo was going. She was like I was cooking and I thought about you since you said you like X, Y ,Z food, I was like cool, and since she knows I know how to cook she self invited herself to my place saying I should cook for her. I've never had a girl self invite herself to my place (at least before we have had sex) I thought she was sheet testing me so I was like no my cooking is rusty but I can order some food from X,Y,Z though if u want to come. I thought she was going to say no but she was like yes I will come over tonight. She comes over, we eat and watching random shit on TV and shes like I want to cuddle I was like your already all up on me wym, then shes like we should go to your bed and watch a movie in ur room. Things go 0 to 100 real quick I barely had time to turn the TV on, clothes come all the way off except for her panties. So she gets on top of me and shes grinding it all over my joint for a while, and the way shes moaning and moving I've had situations where it accidentally slides in or they grab it and put it in before I have time to react so I reach for a condom (I keep them under the pillows when I know a chick is coming over for smooth transition), once she sees me about to open it she freaks out and jumps off the bed and says "No we are not doing that!" with an attitude and puts her clothes on super fast. I've never seen someone get dressed so fast, I was confused I was like is everything ok? She was like yeah and she just awkwardly sits on the edge of the bed not making eye contact, so I do a freeze out and leave the room to watch a sport game at the living room. Like 5 minutes later she comes out the room apologizes and says we should go back in the room but that we can't take our clothes off this time, but after like 3 minutes all the clothes came off anyways. She is wearing nothing but her panties and she wouldn't let me take off my shorts but she kept reaching in it and grabbing it, at this point I honestly was just fed up and wanted her to gtfo, I ghosted her after that night.

Girl 4 - 1st date went normal. 2nd date also wen't normal with the exception that she made a comment like Do you actually like black girls? >> and Im like yeah why u ask >> and shes like because latin guys mostly date me as a fetish without serious intent. I ignored it and smoothly changed the topic, like 10 minutes later I go in for a light make out but she gets super into it and kisses me intensely which caught me off guard. The 3rd date is at my place and the vibe from her is just super off from the jump. When I went for a make out she stopped it like 2 seconds in and once I noticed her vibe was off I immediately kept things casual but she got all uncharacteristically quiet. Shes only been at my place like 30 mins and then shes like "I'm tired I should leave". That whole thing was super weird because she sounded super excited to see me and then when she gets here shes all pissy. I didn't know how to interpret the situation so I put the ball on her court and decided I wouldn't text her unless she does first, didn't hear from her again.

Girl 5 - She ghosted me after the 1st date which is super rare. The only thing I can think off is that I broke the don't kiss her or physically escalate on the 1st date rule.

TLDR: Girls are refusing to come over after dates, I use various excuses that have always worked efficiently in the past but its not working anymore. One girl was super timid and I didn't know how to escalate on her, one girl gave me LMR, one girl denied my escalation attempts.

I can't tell if im doing something wrong during the dates, if its something in the texting/phone game in between, or if im just on a bad luck spree of women who have weird hang ups about making guys wait.

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week of July. I'm on a 5 losing streak and I have never hung out with so many girls consecutively and had so much bad luck. I'm a bit lost as to what I'm doing wrong but I will try and provide some context.

I follow the black dragon method and I used to consistently close in the 2nd or 3rd date but lately everything has been going left. I would try 3 bounce method or 1st date pulls but I have horrible logistics. Right now I am only doing online apps and I live in the sub-urbs like 90 minutes away from the city and all my matches live at least an hour away. This makes it impossible to do 1st date pulls since I always have to meet in the middle. Its also inconvenient doing 3-bounce method because everything here is a 10 minute drive from each other.

For a TLDR skip down to that section



TLDR: Girls are refusing to come over after dates, I use various excuses that have always worked efficiently in the past but its not working anymore. One girl was super timid and I didn't know how to escalate on her, one girl gave me LMR, one girl denied my escalation attempts.

I can't tell if im doing something wrong during the dates, if its something in the texting/phone game in between, or if im just on a bad luck spree of women who have weird hang ups about making guys wait.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been through Blackdragons stuff. Is this from the Alpha Male 2.0 book? Perhaps I should go review the book shelf that one I have not seen referenced for a long while.

Okay so I did a skim of the interactions.

First Date: Can’t say anything sounds more compatibility issues.

Second Date; From the way you write it sounded like she wanted drama. I would’ve instigated and created tension.

Third Date: Nothing to say

There is something obviously amiss if you are zero for five but I can’t fiqure it out from the text. Sorry I wasn’t more helpful.

MuSt0

 

[Chase]

Just skimming over these real quick, my initial impression:

• Girl #1 was into you but didn't get with you fast enough so you nexted
• Girl #2 was into you but didn't get with you fast enough so you nexted
• Girl #3 was into you but didn't get with you fast enough so you nexted
• Girl #4 got insecure and left so you nexted
• Girl #5 wasn't feeling it

My other initial impression was, "Man, I fee bad for these girls, lol. Every single one is getting called 'weird' then nexted!"

Reading through them more detailed, my next impression:

• Girl #1 felt self-conscious around you, was nervous, and intimidated. That never went away
• Girl #2 felt self-conscious around you, hesitant, asking you why you liked her. That never went away
• Girl #3 was all about it but you broke her "go with the flow" state by pulling out a condom too obviously and killed the mood
• Girl #4 felt self-conscious around you, was nervous, asking you if you really liked girls like her. That never went away

Except for girl #3, where you botched the escalation, and girl #5, where there was some other unspecified reason during the date (not enough detail from you here to know), the common thread among the other three is lack of qualification/trust/comfort/attainability:

• Girl #1 was just generally awkward. Could be an autistic girl (a lot more of those online), or super inexperienced, or something else
• Girl #2 is apologizing, asking how you feel so confident about her, etc., vocalizing a lot of self-conscious things
• Girl #4 is skeptical you are even attracted to girls like her

You don't seem to handle any of these objections, you don't appear to be qualifying girls sufficiently, nor are you building more comfort or attainability to deal with the objections you're getting, instead just deflecting and building arousal or escalating. e.g.:

she made a comment like Do you actually like black girls? >> and Im like yeah why u ask >> and shes like because latin guys mostly date me as a fetish without serious intent. I ignored it and smoothly changed the topic, like 10 minutes later I go in for a light make out but she gets super into it and kisses me intensely which caught me off guard.

The objection wasn't handled, just deflected, and you ramped up arousal and escalated. That's good so long as the arousal bubble doesn't break. As soon as it does, the objection returns, stronger than it was before, since it wasn't handled but you ignored her objection and sucked her in and escalated on her anyway.

IOW, you sacrificed trust for a cheap arousal spike.

The takeaway girls get from this is "I need to be careful with this guy. He isn't looking out for me; he's just trying to get around my reasons and get what he's after." Not surprised by how Date #3 went... she probably showed up thinking, "Well, let's see if he can put me at ease this time and isn't just trying to get laid," and as soon as the make-out happened without that having happened she knew it wasn't going to happen so bailed.

Really all these mini-reports read like "guy just tryna get laid" without much regard for how the girl is feeling or what her experience is. Just "do my stuff and make a move" or "do my stuff then end things, to meet up later when can do my stuff and make a move."

You need to get that other dimension added in here, where you are listening to what women are saying and helping them handle their resistance, rather than hoping you can deflect and escalate and that will just go away.

I will also add that you seem to be doing a good enough job attracting these girls... they are into you, kissing you, going to your place, sometimes jumping all over you trying to have sex. You are simply mishandling their objections and failing to put them at ease / build trust / comfort.

If you start being more responsive to the women you take out and guiding them through their objections, rather than just deciding they are 'weird' for having objections or not being smooth, you will see a much different outcome on these dates you're having.

Chase

 

[Skills]

You have a logistics problem which is bad is ideal to pull no more than 20 minutes away, this needs to be fix maybe motels near by or car or park, beach....

Bd method is not the higuest odds though @DoWhatWorks follows with high odds similar... though you are doing it wrong bd is meet no escalating, but a bit of kino and sexual tension, while asking about her past sexual history with exes then invite straight over the house for dinner on second date.. this lower odds of 3 bounce combine with second gen. But again you are freestyling...that is no bd 2 date method.

After 2 dates your odds go really dowm... you are killing momentum and tsking long in womanese is the chemestry no there...unless you follow pure evil 3 date model...

Dude every where i been in usa unless u live in the middle of a jungle has a mall or downtown area with coffee shop, restaurant or bar and park, beach or isolated area walking distance...

Tldr bad logistics, bad application of advise, taking too long killing momentum...

Edit.- dww has 70% succesd rate, mine is close to 95% or higher with 3 bounce

 

[DoWhatWorks]

@FunGuy You’ve already got solid advice from Chase & Skill

My 2 cents:

So much of getting girls is mental. You’ve had an unlucky run (it’s happened to everyone here)

I’d recommend laughing at yourself about the mistake to not take it so seriously. Do some fun things outside of game then come back in.

You want to avoid going into negative loops… The next cool girl is always round the corner.

Make everything your fault
You’ll improve far quicker and get the results you want.

Rather then “That girl was awkward” think how could I have made her more comfortable?

My version of BD:

Slept with 70% of my dates from online this year, my LR below breaks down the whole process:

LR - +1 DWW Same Date Lay - Lion Tattoo Girl 20.6.22

TLDR: Hazel eyes, short & English Brunette girl from Tinder who was into me. Ran my standard dating process and took her home first date On dates I build these frames: 1) Comfort, 2) Secret Society, 3) Lover of Sex (and good at it), 4) Non-Judgmental, 5) Fun, Once all those frames/feelings...

www.skilledseducer.com

Going to alleyoop to @topcat who’s damn near an online wizard but isn’t much of a sharer… Too busy getting laid I guess lol

 

[FunGuy]

Thank you for the response everyone, I agree with all of you. @Chase you broke that down so surgically I see what I am doing wrong very clearly now.

You don't seem to handle any of these objections, you don't appear to be qualifying girls sufficiently, nor are you building more comfort or attainability to deal with the objections you're getting, instead just deflecting and building arousal or escalating. e.g.:

------------------------------------

If you start being more responsive to the women you take out and guiding them through their objections, rather than just deciding they are 'weird' for having objections or not being smooth, you will see a much different outcome on these dates you're having.

Is it fair to say that I am getting these objections mainly because I suck at qualifying and attainability? I had a feeling that either qualification/attainability was the issue or that I was running into a bad streak of overly cautious women or a combination of both. I feel like I have read everything on qualification and attainability but I just can't wrap my head around it. By any chance do you provide coaching for this or know anyone who does and is really good with qualification process? Would be cool to pick someones brain for like 30 mins.

Slept with 70% of my dates from online this year, my LR below breaks down the whole process:

LR - +1 DWW Same Date Lay - Lion Tattoo Girl 20.6.22

TLDR: Hazel eyes, short & English Brunette girl from Tinder who was into me. Ran my standard dating process and took her home first date On dates I build these frames: 1) Comfort, 2) Secret Society, 3) Lover of Sex (and good at it), 4) Non-Judgmental, 5) Fun, Once all those frames/feelings...

www.skilledseducer.com

Thank you, I checked out that report and I will definitely be stealing some of ur tactics.

 

[Chase]

@FunGuy,

Glad it helped.

Is it fair to say that I am getting these objections mainly because I suck at qualifying and attainability? I had a feeling that either qualification/attainability was the issue or that I was running into a bad streak of overly cautious women or a combination of both.

From what I have read in this thread, that seems to be the primary issue, yes.

I feel like I have read everything on qualification and attainability but I just can't wrap my head around it. By any chance do you provide coaching for this or know anyone who does and is really good with qualification process? Would be cool to pick someones brain for like 30 mins.

I do, but we usually direct guys to the other coaches because my rates are high (biz owner, managing ~30 people, lots going on, not a lot of time). I think Tony or Cody could probably help with this also.

If you want to drop a line to our help desk, Paula can tell you about our options. You may also want to reach out to @ulrich, who handles coaching placements.

Chase