Improvement/ getting out of friend zone

[foxman2]

Hi guys,

I have been reading this for over a month now, and I have been working on my fundamentals quite a bit, and have seen some positive feedback. A girl I have been more distant friends with may be coming onto me as a result. I have built some tension with her and have made more physical contact, and she reciprocated by giving me a massage at a party. I think may change in behavior may have sparked something. Rather than viewing me as a friend or a acquaintance, she is thinking of me more sexually.

I am wondering if anyone has had a similar experience while improving their game. And whether anyone has ever clawed their way out of the friend zone with success? I understand this is difficult to do, and I am not banking on this girl by any means. In theory, if one could pull this off, couldn't he do pretty much anything else? I am just wondering if I am on the right track.

Thanks.

 

[Penguin]

Yeah when I started suiting up I noticed that a girl who had friendzoned me long ago was looking at me differently and acting differently around me. I'm now experimenting with friendzone females who I met when I was in a longtime relationship and couldn't do anything with. I don't think it's possible to redeem yourself with girls who you moved too slowly with first time round, even after a substantial improvement in fundamentals. However, I think it is possible to get with girls who you have met a while ago and not had very much contact with. In fact I have a girl I met at university four years ago coming to visit next month and she seems to really want some .

Basically, I don't think you can get a second chance if you messed up, but you can get a first chance with less familiar girls who you met a while back and nothing happened with.

 

[Jay]

The friend zone is actually a more ambiguous place than people think. Changing friends into lovers is really all about creating distance without creating negative feelings (no writing a bitch off, just kind of fade out of her life, then pounce back in) and returning later with a different frame for the relationship. The girl might even set this new frame herself, I recently ran into a girl who I was a complete and total pussy when it comes to making moves with and ended up being friendzoned by in my junior year of high school, and we had sex that very night. When I was laying with her she said something was sexier about me now, and I laughed to myself because I knew that it was a combination of experience and my time away from her giving me a sort of "nostalgic novelty" if you will (I was someone from her past, who piqued her interest by being new and different from the man she knew before).

Granted, this will cause you to lose a friendship temporarily, but you will gain a lover from it.

EDIT: Theres also a good example of this working on the field reports board, I think it is called "LR: Friends to Lovers"

 

[A Life Loquacious]

The friend zone is actually a more ambiguous place than people think. Changing friends into lovers is really all about creating distance without creating negative feelings (no writing a bitch off, just kind of fade out of her life, then pounce back in) and returning later with a different frame for the relationship.

Agreed. I think when guys are still at the stage where they get friendzoned every time they don't have the ability to come back with a re-established frame as the abundance mentality hasn't set in yet. I think it takes a bit of experience and a few same-night/same-day lays to be able to return to old flames with any degree of success. I do believe that as your skills develop and your persona begins to morph into a sexier, more worldly version of yourself that women re-evaluate you and escalation windows open.

I was at a wedding in the summer, the bride is a very good friend of mine, and has a very hot best friend. I first met the two girls in a club on the same night over 10 years ago, at the time my energy was focussed on dating the hot best friend with no success, however now I was getting a lot of strong IOIs from her at the wedding. This was the first time I'd seen her in a few years and she was definitely acting very differently towards me than in the past. Unfortunately I failed to catch the window before it closed - the trouble with wedding parties is they're too easy to get drunk at, especially when they go on for over 12 hours with champagne flowing... :-\

Ultimately IMO it's still more productive to focus on the search for new conquests and treat any incidental rekindling of old flames as a nice bonus rather than investing much energy in actually trying to make them happen.

 

[Light]

Hi guys,

I have been reading this for over a month now, and I have been working on my fundamentals quite a bit, and have seen some positive feedback. A girl I have been more distant friends with may be coming onto me as a result. I have built some tension with her and have made more physical contact, and she reciprocated by giving me a massage at a party. I think may change in behavior may have sparked something. Rather than viewing me as a friend or a acquaintance, she is thinking of me more sexually.

I am wondering if anyone has had a similar experience while improving their game. And whether anyone has ever clawed their way out of the friend zone with success? I understand this is difficult to do, and I am not banking on this girl by any means. In theory, if one could pull this off, couldn't he do pretty much anything else? I am just wondering if I am on the right track.

Thanks.

You are doing great. Keep up the good work.
When you become better at this, you can eventually turn some girls that has already friend zoned you back to wanting you in bed. Only some, not all.

 

[Little Jester]

I am wondering if anyone has had a similar experience while improving their game.

I know this girl that always hanged out with my gay brother since mid school. (The guy is a great source for pretty woman btw. He always hangs with hot chicks, it's so unfair ha )
Well, she's been around my parents place quite often. When I was still living at my parents, me and that girl talked from time to time, but we never got past small talk. + I was a mess fundamental wise.

Past 6 months I've been working on fundamentals and started to deep dive on my friends and people I meet. So when I was visiting my parents and she and my brother were there as well, I deep dived her too. She has a bf btw.
After that, she all of sudden started to invite herself over to my place to watch movies. Looking back that was a big sign, that I kinda ignored. If only I could have had the 'getting physical' aspect down earlier, I think I could have taken her to bed. Had about 3 chances that she was over at my place, but I didn't close and now I think she's gone cold. But that's okay. All practice!