Improvement on Pick-up

[vicknick]

I did some rapport building during pickup as @Will_V suggested, but I felt there is need to add more man-woman topics. However, I am not sure how to add them.

Here is a typical convo:

Me: Hi. Just now I walk pass by I saw you, I think you look a bit attractive, so come say hi to you
Her: Oh hi
Me: Are you going to some event now? (I saw her makeup on her face so would like to expand on this topic first)
Her: Oh no no
Me: Because I saw you did some makeup on your eyelash etc.
Her: Yaya it is my makeup
Me: I am guessing you work as sales (Her attire is black outer clothing which is usual for salesperson to meet client)
Her: Yaya I am doing sales, but now I am just looking for stuffs
Me: Cuz I can see your attire today is a bit formal, you give me a salesperson vibe
Her: Oh haha
Me: But I was quite surprised. Usually salesperson are talkative and open, but I feel that you are more introvert and shy, like a little girl.
Her: Oh haha, cuz just now I don't understand what you say, maybe I thought you are asking something (probably I talked to quick when approaching)
Me: How old are you?
Her: I am 27
Me: Oh you are 27. I thought you are close to 30 (Her overall face and fashion is quite mature so would like to comment on that)
Her: Close to 30 ?!?! (some emotion which is good, before that she don't have much expression)
Me: Haha, I am very honest. I think it's because of your makeup and attire, very mature vibe.
Her: Ya 27 is close to 30
Me: You working here?
Her: Nono, I am not working here. I am buying stuffs here. Looking for games.
Me: Games?
Her: Ya I plan to play games with my friend
Me: Didn't expect that, cuz I thought you are very career-ish girl. Going back home and writing out sales report.
Her: Oh nono
Me: It's good you retain your childhood side (qualify her she still got a playful side since she plays games)
Her: Sorry sorry haha, so are you going to sell me things or? (not sure why she thinks I am going to sell her something, probably too much unwanted topics and less man-woman?)
Me: Do I look like a salesperson?
Her: Ermm I don't know haha
Me: I just want to get to know you, not selling you anything. I was walking there to find my friend. (address her issue so I continue with seduction)
Me: Can I add you number?
Her: Ermm I have a boyfriend
Me: Then we can be friends first. Who knows what will happen in the future you know (Not sure what to respond here, so I plan to just get her number first, maybe will get her out in future)
Her: Ya
Her: Are you really not selling me things?
Me: If I sell you things, you can just delete me (address her issue again)
Her: Oh haha
(proceed to add her number, and some chitchat before ending the convo)

 

[MarioTheDom]

This looks lit a bit of mixed london day game with the assumption stack and some boring questions

Point is you shouldn't add more "man to woman" - your interaction is just bland, no real teasing, no story, could you tell after 60' she knew you were there to fuck her? (answer is NO and she told you with "so are you going to sell me things or"?)

If the tonality and Body language followed the same vibe of the words, I suspect this type of girls flake or hardly give out anything?

Also, don't mention becoming friends, you are hiding your dick like that

 

[vicknick]

Point is you shouldn't add more "man to woman" - your interaction is just bland, no real teasing, no story, could you tell after 60' she knew you were there to fuck her? (answer is NO and she told you with "so are you going to sell me things or"?)

Can you give an example on the previous convo where you can change/improve on? Because the advice you gave are quite general and not helpful.

 

[MarioTheDom]

What part of it it's general and not helpful?

I told you:

You are not teasing correctly
Me: Cuz I can see your attire today is a bit formal, you give me a salesperson vibe
Her: Oh haha
Me: But I was quite surprised. Usually salesperson are talkative and open, but I feel that you are more introvert and shy, like a little girl.

that's an attempt at least.

you are not telling captivating stories,

I just want to get to know you, not selling you anything. I was walking there to find my friend

Why on earth she should be interested? you are just a random dude asking questions in a mall

your Body language is probably off - could you tell after 60' she knew you were there to fuck her?

-I don't understand what you say, maybe I thought you are asking something
-Sorry sorry haha, so are you going to sell me things or?

There is no "man to woman" conversation to have here because this was never implied by you.


Now, I pointed out your mistakes, up to you how you deal with the feedback

 

[vicknick]

What part of it it's general and not helpful?

Because no example on how you deal with the situation is provided, thus I am confused by what you mean.

You are not teasing correctly
Me: Cuz I can see your attire today is a bit formal, you give me a salesperson vibe
Her: Oh haha
Me: But I was quite surprised. Usually salesperson are talkative and open, but I feel that you are more introvert and shy, like a little girl.

that's an attempt at least.

So how do you tease in this situation? Could give an example?

I just want to get to know you, not selling you anything. I was walking there to find my friend

Why on earth she should be interested? you are just a random dude asking questions in a mall

your Body language is probably off - could you tell after 60' she knew you were there to fuck her?

So how's would your body language do? Your hands, your feet? I am not sure what you mean by 'off'. Could give an example?

-I don't understand what you say, maybe I thought you are asking something
-Sorry sorry haha, so are you going to sell me things or?

There is no "man to woman" conversation to have here because this was never implied by you.

So how would you imply man to woman in this case? Could give an example?

 

[vicknick]

bump

 

[Will_V]

I did some rapport building during pickup as @Will_V suggested, but I felt there is need to add more man-woman topics. However, I am not sure how to add them.

Here is a typical convo:

Me: Hi. Just now I walk pass by I saw you, I think you look a bit attractive, so come say hi to you
Her: Oh hi
Me: Are you going to some event now? (I saw her makeup on her face so would like to expand on this topic first)
Her: Oh no no
Me: Because I saw you did some makeup on your eyelash etc.
Her: Yaya it is my makeup
Me: I am guessing you work as sales (Her attire is black outer clothing which is usual for salesperson to meet client)
Her: Yaya I am doing sales, but now I am just looking for stuffs
Me: Cuz I can see your attire today is a bit formal, you give me a salesperson vibe
Her: Oh haha
Me: But I was quite surprised. Usually salesperson are talkative and open, but I feel that you are more introvert and shy, like a little girl.
Her: Oh haha, cuz just now I don't understand what you say, maybe I thought you are asking something (probably I talked to quick when approaching)
Me: How old are you?
Her: I am 27
Me: Oh you are 27. I thought you are close to 30 (Her overall face and fashion is quite mature so would like to comment on that)
Her: Close to 30 ?!?! (some emotion which is good, before that she don't have much expression)
Me: Haha, I am very honest. I think it's because of your makeup and attire, very mature vibe.
Her: Ya 27 is close to 30
Me: You working here?
Her: Nono, I am not working here. I am buying stuffs here. Looking for games.
Me: Games?
Her: Ya I plan to play games with my friend
Me: Didn't expect that, cuz I thought you are very career-ish girl. Going back home and writing out sales report.
Her: Oh nono
Me: It's good you retain your childhood side (qualify her she still got a playful side since she plays games)
Her: Sorry sorry haha, so are you going to sell me things or? (not sure why she thinks I am going to sell her something, probably too much unwanted topics and less man-woman?)
Me: Do I look like a salesperson?
Her: Ermm I don't know haha
Me: I just want to get to know you, not selling you anything. I was walking there to find my friend. (address her issue so I continue with seduction)
Me: Can I add you number?
Her: Ermm I have a boyfriend
Me: Then we can be friends first. Who knows what will happen in the future you know (Not sure what to respond here, so I plan to just get her number first, maybe will get her out in future)
Her: Ya
Her: Are you really not selling me things?
Me: If I sell you things, you can just delete me (address her issue again)
Her: Oh haha
(proceed to add her number, and some chitchat before ending the convo)

The main problem here is that you are asking boring questions and then when she replies you are making ambiguous vague comments that she doesn't know what to do with.

After this conversation what do you know about her?
1. She works in sales
2. She's 27
3. She likes playing games

OK so these are just bits of information that are irrelevant unless you expand on them (and at least one is irrelevant period). Now let's look at how you responded when you found out these things:

1. <She works in sales> Usually salesperson are talkative and open, but I feel that you are more introvert and shy, like a little girl.
2. <She's 27> I thought you were 30
3. <She likes playing games> Didn't expect that, good you still retain your childhood side

How do these comments build attraction, commonality and excitement? The first one about her being shy was OK but unless you said it quite playfully (which is unlikely since she multiple times seemed to not understand you or your intentions) saying she's like a little girl and contrasting it to the requirements of her job in a disqualifying way is just going to make her think "hm what does all this mean?"

The second is shooting yourself in the foot, idk since when it's ever gone well to tell a woman she looks older than she is.

The third you again basically disqualified her and then followed it up with a comment that makes it sound like only kids play games and she's still somewhat of a kid.

Remember it's already tense enough for her to be walked up on by a stranger and then to have ambiguous comments on her and her lifestyle without a sense of playfulness is just going to make her wonder wtf your intentions are (which is why she finally asked if you are selling stuff). This fossicking-around type of game is all over the internet for some reason and it's just not good.
...

What you need to do instead is comment in a way such as to steer the conversation toward what kind of girl she is and what kind of guy you are.

So let's say she says she works in sales. You could ask her what kind of sales, to begin with. Find if it's something she's passionate about or just to pay the bills. If the latter just steer in a different direction. If it's something she really enjoys (let's say makeup) then you can compliment her makeup and use the opportunity to look her up and down and get some sexual tension going. And then start digging deeper into her personality and what drives her.

So she says she's 27. Idk why that's relevant, and asking a woman her age is already bad form, but I would have just said something like 'oh cool' smile and then ask her star sign or whatever to quickly get off the topic.

So she likes games. The first thing I would think is 'this girl might have a nerdy side' and it's a playful way to tease. So I would maybe say 'oh I didn't expect you to have a nerdy side' with a smile and some genuine curiosity. And then ask her if she's a this girl or a that girl - like 'do you like to party or curl up with a good book at the end of the day?' type of thing. That way you build some sense of commonality, you can say what kind of books you like to read (I like to tell girls I read about the Roman empire which always gives them something to chew on).

So you can see that talking about your favorite books is going to be much more productive than querying random stuff like she's at a traffic stop. And it's always good to steer toward topics where you can reveal things about yourself as well, so it's not just piling pressure on her, and so that she can find out about you without having to ask whether you're selling stuff.

 

[vicknick]

The main problem here is that you are asking boring questions and then when she replies you are making ambiguous vague comments that she doesn't know what to do with.

After this conversation what do you know about her?
1. She works in sales
2. She's 27
3. She likes playing games

OK so these are just bits of information that are irrelevant unless you expand on them (and at least one is irrelevant period). Now let's look at how you responded when you found out these things:

1. <She works in sales> Usually salesperson are talkative and open, but I feel that you are more introvert and shy, like a little girl.
2. <She's 27> I thought you were 30
3. <She likes playing games> Didn't expect that, good you still retain your childhood side

How do these comments build attraction, commonality and excitement? The first one about her being shy was OK but unless you said it quite playfully (which is unlikely since she multiple times seemed to not understand you or your intentions) saying she's like a little girl and contrasting it to the requirements of her job in a disqualifying way is just going to make her think "hm what does all this mean?"

The second is shooting yourself in the foot, idk since when it's ever gone well to tell a woman she looks older than she is.

The third you again basically disqualified her and then followed it up with a comment that makes it sound like only kids play games and she's still somewhat of a kid.

Remember it's already tense enough for her to be walked up on by a stranger and then to have ambiguous comments on her and her lifestyle without a sense of playfulness is just going to make her wonder wtf your intentions are (which is why she finally asked if you are selling stuff). This fossicking-around type of game is all over the internet for some reason and it's just not good.
...

What you need to do instead is comment in a way such as to steer the conversation toward what kind of girl she is and what kind of guy you are.

So let's say she says she works in sales. You could ask her what kind of sales, to begin with. Find if it's something she's passionate about or just to pay the bills. If the latter just steer in a different direction. If it's something she really enjoys (let's say makeup) then you can compliment her makeup and use the opportunity to look her up and down and get some sexual tension going. And then start digging deeper into her personality and what drives her.

So she says she's 27. Idk why that's relevant, and asking a woman her age is already bad form, but I would have just said something like 'oh cool' smile and then ask her star sign or whatever to quickly get off the topic.

So she likes games. The first thing I would think is 'this girl might have a nerdy side' and it's a playful way to tease. So I would maybe say 'oh I didn't expect you to have a nerdy side' with a smile and some genuine curiosity. And then ask her if she's a this girl or a that girl - like 'do you like to party or curl up with a good book at the end of the day?' type of thing. That way you build some sense of commonality, you can say what kind of books you like to read (I like to tell girls I read about the Roman empire which always gives them something to chew on).

So you can see that talking about your favorite books is going to be much more productive than querying random stuff like she's at a traffic stop. And it's always good to steer toward topics where you can reveal things about yourself as well, so it's not just piling pressure on her, and so that she can find out about you without having to ask whether you're selling stuff.

@Will_V Thanks for the detailed reply! I'll give a thought about it

 

[vicknick]

I had a thought about your response, thanks very much again. There are a few questions I like to ask about this.

3. <She likes playing games> Didn't expect that, good you still retain your childhood side

The third you again basically disqualified her and then followed it up with a comment that makes it sound like only kids play games and she's still somewhat of a kid.

I don't quite understand what this mean. I thought I am just giving out my opinion, I never think about disqualifying her. She was wearing work uniform so was giving a "work-ish"vibe, so when she mention she play games, I thought it's good she still has a playful side.

So let's say she says she works in sales. You could ask her what kind of sales, to begin with. Find if it's something she's passionate about or just to pay the bills. If the latter just steer in a different direction.

Most people would be the latter when I asked them if they enjoy their work. My usual response would be to steer to "What do you do for fun"?

So you can see that talking about your favorite books is going to be much more productive than querying random stuff like she's at a traffic stop. And it's always good to steer toward topics where you can reveal things about yourself as well, so it's not just piling pressure on her, and so that she can find out about you without having to ask whether you're selling stuff.

If I like politics or finance books, I just say it? Wouldn't it be boring?

So she likes games. The first thing I would think is 'this girl might have a nerdy side' and it's a playful way to tease. So I would maybe say 'oh I didn't expect you to have a nerdy side' with a smile and some genuine curiosity. And then ask her if she's a this girl or a that girl - like 'do you like to party or curl up with a good book at the end of the day?' type of thing.

How does asking "do you like party or good book" has to do with video games? Seems like a sudden change in topics to me. What about you ask about what kind of video games she likes to play, and then talk about similar games you play? That way you both can have commonalities?

 

[Will_V]

You are thinking very logically and pessimistically like some kind of nasa engineer and failing to track her emotions, which is all that matters. You are not talking to a dude here. Nothing you say matters, everything you convey does matter.

I don't quite understand what this mean. I thought I am just giving out my opinion, I never think about disqualifying her. She was wearing work uniform so was giving a "work-ish"vibe, so when she mention she play games, I thought it's good she still has a playful side.

Logically, ok! Practically, nope. Because while your intention is correct, the actual result didn't land.

There is no emotion in telling a woman 'it's good you still have a playful side'. That's a very superficial statement and a little awkward. Instead you might say something like 'oh are you like a fortnite player or do you like getting lost in a deep story with lots of elves and orks?'. Already there's detail and contrast here, contrast is emotion, she starts thinking about herself, who she thinks she is, who she thinks she isn't, who she wants to express herself as, you give her some concepts to play with.

Otherwise all you get is her spectating on a stranger's strange assessments of her until she's run out of curiosity.

Most people would be the latter when I asked them if they enjoy their work. My usual response would be to steer to "What do you do for fun"?

Yeah, I usually end up on the fun too.

If I like politics or finance books, I just say it? Wouldn't it be boring?

Obviously, you want to find something you might likely have in common. I usually go to hiking, meditation, sailing, eating, travelling.

Sure I could start talking about Jungian psychoanalysis but she probably wouldn't stick around would she? (although to be fair, I did end up talking about this with a woman one time but she was a neuroscientist and psychologist, so).

How does asking "do you like party or good book" has to do with video games? Seems like a sudden change in topics to me. What about you ask about what kind of video games she likes to play, and then talk about similar games you play? That way you both can have commonalities?

Free your mind from this kind of harnessed thinking my friend. When you follow the emotion, the words don't matter, the topic doesn't matter. Suddenly many different topics, including sex, start to emerge into the conversation, all mixed together, completely unrelated and yet somehow all belonging.

 

[vicknick]

Thanks for the responses!

There is no emotion in telling a woman 'it's good you still have a playful side'. That's a very superficial statement and a little awkward.

Otherwise all you get is her spectating on a stranger's strange assessments of her until she's run out of curiosity.

Yeah, I sometimes say this kind of thing, like "I like that you are a hardworking girl" or "I like that you are very meticulous". I thought this is qualifying the girl?

How do you qualify a girl if she says something you like to hear?

 

[Will_V]

Thanks for the responses!

Yeah, I sometimes say this kind of thing, like "I like that you are a hardworking girl" or "I like that you are very meticulous". I thought this is qualifying the girl?

How do you qualify a girl if she says something you like to hear?

Try to come up with a qualifying statement that shows you really mean it. 'I like that you are X' does not show understanding of X. Instead of 'I like that you are meticulous' I might say 'I like that you're super organized, I bet you're one of those girls who wake up at the exact same time every morning and have your routine scheduled to the last second'. It's kind of funny, kind of teasing, a bit exaggerated, and makes her feel a bit closer to you (since the morning routine is something she typically does alone and never really talks about).

So try to expand your qualifying statements to show an deeper understanding, and try to add colorful words, elements of teasing, etc. Otherwise you just come across as a 'yes man'.

 

[vicknick]

Try to come up with a qualifying statement that shows you really mean it. 'I like that you are X' does not show understanding of X. Instead of 'I like that you are meticulous' I might say 'I like that you're super organized, I bet you're one of those girls who wake up at the exact same time every morning and have your routine scheduled to the last second'. It's kind of funny, kind of teasing, a bit exaggerated, and makes her feel a bit closer to you (since the morning routine is something she typically does alone and never really talks about).

So try to expand your qualifying statements to show an deeper understanding, and try to add colorful words, elements of teasing, etc. Otherwise you just come across as a 'yes man'.

Thanks! Sometimes I can't think off anything so I just say 'I like X' without much words. Will try to add more details and teases on my next approach.