In love with someone else

[Illflyers28]

The other day my gf(now ex gf) told me she was in love with her ex bf still. I told her then and there that unfortunately I can't be with someone in love with someone else so I broke up with her. We still really like each other but I'm not gonna be her #2 guy. I feel really bad leaving her for I dont wanna punish her for confessing her feelings to me, I thought that was highly respectable but I didn't know how to reward her in that situation. We were dating for 3 months and then I told her I wanted her to be mine. She accepted and we went out for 2 1/2 months and she broke this on me. She kept in contact with me and still acted like we went out. She asked me today if I wanted to go to the movies with her, I respectfully declined and told her we need some distance and we can be friends later on. I wouldnt mind taking her back but im not gonna wait around until shes no longer in love. I have also been going out and meeting new people which I enjoy. Any thoughts on how or if I could of handled this more appropriately? Was or is there a way to reward her for her good behavior?

 

[Just_Dave]

Hey Flyer,

I had the same conflict when I was about to get in a relationship with one of my coworkers in the summer. You handled things currently, you can't control the way someone feels. You want to be in a relationship with someone who is completely about you, otherwise the relationship won't work. That's why I found it best not to get to serious about girls who've been in long term relationships and just recently gotten out of them.

Just Dave

 

[Anonymous]

i had a similar situation

dated a girl for about a month. an issue from the get go is she still talked to her ex. i ended up pressuring her about the truth why she talks to him, and it was because she had feelings for him. on top of that she was planning to see him over Christmas break.

well i told her we couldn't be together if that is the case. Frankly, best decision. It takes its tole on you certainly, and puts you in a one-down position.

i ended up hanging out with her a week later and exchanged gifts anyway. I felt flannels were much more useful then pearl earnings, haha.