In your experience, what are some situations where it IS good to pay for something for the girl

[sinksink]

I vaguely recall in an article Chase would say something like "what? What do I look like" and your face should say like her request for you to pay for something is ridiculous

However, what are some situations where it actually is good to pay for the thing for her?
There is a certain dice roll of feeling like a chump afterwards if she rejects you later. But then again, I do wonder if paying for something is just required to sleep with her in some situations

I heard some girls won't sleep w/ guy if he doesn't buy the drink and then also I dated a girl, the guy always pays for meals in restaurants in her culture so I always did

 

[ulrich]

Wether pay or not pay for a date is the only thing in seduction that I have never heard an answer that feels right.

I’ve tried all approaches but to me it feels that it all boils down to calibration (which kind of girl you’re dating) and congruence (how are you presenting yourself).

So imagine you are dating young conservative girls and you present yourself as a well put successful man... you have to pay 100% and give a good tip.
Anything less is incongruent and makes her feel dissimilarity for you.

Later you could be dating an artist and talk about your trips around the world and how you enjoy exploring different experiences.
In that case you can get away with a more “egalitarian” 50-50 split.

Many guys here will swear that they never pay for dates and that you can get away without spending a cent on her... but they also live very overt non-conventional lives, so it is congruent to them.

 

[Skjöldr]

I paid for a plan B pill because i broke 6 condoms inside her

 

[michaelm06]

Wether pay or not pay for a date is the only thing in seduction that I have never heard an answer that feels right.

I’ve tried all approaches but to me it feels that it all boils down to calibration (which kind of girl you’re dating) and congruence (how are you presenting yourself).

So imagine you are dating young conservative girls and you present yourself as a well put successful man... you have to pay 100% and give a good tip.
Anything less is incongruent and makes her feel dissimilarity for you.

Later you could be dating an artist and talk about your trips around the world and how you enjoy exploring different experiences.
In that case you can get away with a more “egalitarian” 50-50 split.

Many guys here will swear that they never pay for dates and that you can get away without spending a cent on her... but they also live very overt non-conventional lives, so it is congruent to them.

Best take I've seen. But generally I just try to avoid dates where you have to pay anything beyond a cheap beer (which I don't mind paying for).

 

[Skjöldr]

Agreed @uriel it seems like one of the only issue in seduction i have never gotten an convincing answer for. It is just too divided. Like @michaelm06 i just keep my dates free/extremely cheap.

 

[PalmaSailor]

What you’re trying to do is avoid putting yourself in the beta bux provider box. If she’s outright asking you to pay for something it’s a shit test and you need to refuse.

outside of that as @Phoenix said, keep the dates cheap, a few beers in an ordinary bar and you expect to pay. If she likes you she’ll offer to buy a drink anyway.

don’t get into expensive dinner dates etc.

 

[Derek da man]

Again agree with @uriel it's all about calibration and frame setting

If I was to invite a girl from a relatively posh event out we may go for dinner or a drink but I would already have set my frame as not boyfriend material. As I made the invitation I expect to pay but I will also be looking for investment when the bill comes to see if she offers to pay half and if her offer is out of politeness or investment - which are not the same.

If I met a girl in a bar or club then I may offer to buy a drink if I was going to the bar or placing an order anyway but I generally avoid this until she is making investment in me again having already set a frame of not being boyfriend material.

The moment a girl sets and expectation that she is expecting you to pay I see it as a test and usually resist or flip the situation with humor.

I do get a bit thrown when a girl offers to buy me a drink as it's probably a test but I've not seen through what she is really asking. If you accept have you invested in her and therefore reduce her attraction? If you decline are you saying you're not interested and will that increase or decrease her attraction? Again I think it depends on the frame you've set and how you respond, whether it's serious or with humor

 

[Fuck This]

I don't invite unless I can pay.

If there is something we are doing and I want the upgrade, I'll pay for it. For example an Uber Versus a gypsy cab, a Cabin at a campground instead of a tent camp, etc...

When pulling from a bar sometimes it is more expeditious to close out her tab and tell her "lets go".

Sometimes I'll grab the tab and tell her "Why doncha tip , I got this. Often she will tip more generously and the servers remember....

And also..... when you can expense it at business travel or client entertainment...

 

[foggy]

In Colombia (different culture than North America), 99% of the time I pay for the girls taxi over to my place or my part of the city. And back.

I let them know I'll pay and I don't feel chumpy doing it because the cab rides are $2-5. It's nothing for me. For them, it's 3 times more expensive

 

[ocean_eyes]

Many guys here will swear that they never pay for dates and that you can get away without spending a cent on her... but they also live very overt non-conventional lives, so it is congruent to them.

Yep. I was broke, living in car, down and out. But I never presented myself as anything else.
I had nothing, no job, living in car.
So all I thought was "I still have my dick, that is the only use I'll be to women."

And surprisingly that frame was so strong, I ended up floating between 4 girls constantly supporting me, til I eventually got my shit together...
At the end of the day the congruency is mostly for you.

Will it bother your conscience, because you still haven't shed your niceguy ways? No problem, spend that $5.
Will it bother YOU more because you feel like you're being submissive? Then let the girl spend money on YOU.

 

[ocean_eyes]

BTW I usually try to "induce" this frame at the start. With self-jokes like "I live in a box," / "I'm a travelling garbage collector"

Not that it "lets you get away with not paying" but it generally lets them expect a lot less.

Avoiding the social speed-bumps on the road to pussy.