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FU  Inaction- Christmas Party Loss

authenticSelf

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 23, 2018
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46
I was invited to a Christmas party by a work friend who has two beautiful, amazing daughters. Holy shit, this blew me away. The amount of trust, respect and social proof I must have with this coworker is insane!

Anyways, I slacked on the fundamentals and failed to ask either one out.

When I got an opportunity to find one of them in standing by herself, I did an okay job at deep-diving with her. But the conversation was mostly polite. I was unaware of my body language but there were moments of correction of my posture. I may have touched her once at best. She did ask me a few questions about me "what skills do you use in your job?" etc. I saw her go to the bathroom after seeing a text. This didn't bother me but it indicated she might be taken.

I had about 2 minutes one-on-one with the hotter one. She said she recently adopted a dog. I failed to ask to see a picture of her dog. It was on my tongue but with her dad standing around, I chickened out. I need to let go of shame around flirting, which is inherent in my native culture.

Fundamentals to Improve:
  • Move the girl around!! I failed to do this. I became a spectator in a conversation and only a passive participant. I should have scouted the house quickly so I had a better sense of the environment to find a reason to move her around!
  • Speak Loudly and clearly: I spoke so softly that the guy I was chatting with had to arch his neck forward to hear me several times :mad: Fuck me! I did not correct this mistake. I became unaware of this quickly too
  • Ask her out: Finding a good-energy moment, I could have popped the question "Hey, since you like __, would you want to checkout __ with me?" Or "We should hang out. Whats your number?" would have been totally appropriate!
  • Express romantic interest: When she told me she adopted a dog, I could have said "That is so cute! I want to see a picture", if she revealed something about herself, "That is adorable". Some touch here could have helped
  • Eye-contact: Totally failed this one. I was looking around avoiding, being distracted and almost no eye contact. Like I didn't even know the color of her eyes! My awareness level was really poor. I did not correct this infield.
I am obviously kicking myself right now. Its good to write this shit down for next time!
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
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