Inconvenience Mindset: No magic bullet

[jackoftades819]

I'm doing the Newbie Mindset and have gotten stuck at the step, if you can believe it, saying "hey, how's your day going?" I've been doing some thinking, and I know this is mainly a mindset issue. I've had experiences in the past where whenever I initiated conversation or tried just talking to people, I was clearly unwanted. This is something I don't find out until much later since they generally are being polite and hope I go away. Thus, I feel unwanted or like an inconvenience whenever I try to talk to people or ask them to hang out. Not necessarily a problem with just women, I'm bad at reading social cues even though I'm always looking for a sign that they want me to leave. Anyway, at this point I'm not sure if it's confirmation bias or what but I do know that this internal frame is hindering me in social progress. So, has anyone dealt with something similar and how did you start moving past it?

 

[stoneplums]

How many times has that literally happened where you found that out. Is it like 2-3 times, and is that 2-3 times out of 5 times or 2-3 times of 30 times. Keep doing it. Most people are actually socially retarded with strangers and a common protective mechanism is for them to go "why was that guy talking to me?" - its because they may have felt they also dealt with the interaction badly and want to save their own face in their minds.

Keep doing it. Think of it as getting sample data. You might jut be on a bad run, i think its way weirder to be a person who gets spoken to and runs off to their friends to say "someone jut talked to me, and it was so unwelcoming" - iits like pull the carrot out your ass, so someone was nice to you and your complaining

 

[Inbocca]

stoneplums is right. Look at how many people talk - almost brag - about rarely leaving the house and talking to pets more often than people. There are a ton of people who just developed social skills and just don't want to. Regardless of what their reaction might be, if they're uncomfortable with you coming up and talking to them, they probably wouldn't have the guts to do it themselves.

Also, I can totally believe it, that was the most difficult task for me thus far in the Newbie Assignment. Power through it.

 

[trashKENNUT]

jackoftades819,

You can say Hi, and straight away ask people how was your vibe when you say Hi. You can test that out. When i was young, i look for signs when people do not like me. Only because i didn't know why i was dislike.

Sometimes you are the sucker/blacksheep of the family. That's just how human hierarchy but parents bullshit you know. Not that they are bad people. So yea, if you are the "sucker", you have to form friendships outside where you are the leader. And make sure to inspire the person who was once you.

As you advanced, you realize that you always belong to some level of hierarchy. Some groups you at the bottom. Some groups you at the top. Some you at the middle.

People are weird. Here's some emotional support.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7rCyll5AeY

kk I am messing around.

Zac