- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 143
I am posting this to make sure Im not having a victim mentality, so I can solve this issue.
I was a bulied kid in middle school. Still stumbling my way through social dynamics. I was a "weird" guy . I would spend my days playing video games , writing or drawing.
I remember the closest to a fight I ever got was throwing a chair at someone because they kept throwing pencils at me.
But in school recently I've been getting rejected.
I've tried to be funny, to boost peoples statuses, to be helpfull. All of this effort has been in vain. If its not some girl accusing me of stalking her with some claim out of left field. Or some girl who hangs out with my friends , who I'm always nice to, telling me to leave my friends. People Im nice to backstabbing me.
I feel like I need to reverse the precedent, but where do I start. Do I even start reversing the precedent? Apologizing for something I never did? For being sexually harassed by guys on my first time approaching two girls? For coming to school smelling like smoke, because drugdealer dad doesn't have control over his niccoteen cravings. For complimenting someone. For flirting with girls? For my polytheism?
I just really need to scream or something because I feel angry at my situation. Placing all the blame on myself hasn't fixed this, and neither have my efforts to be a good person, to help.
I've been crying for years, even as I'm writing this.
I've read chase's article on overcoming depression multiple times, but It feels like every time I try to make a friend I lose.
Lately, I've been feeling infinite rejection. I'll be glad when high school's over.
I was a bulied kid in middle school. Still stumbling my way through social dynamics. I was a "weird" guy . I would spend my days playing video games , writing or drawing.
I remember the closest to a fight I ever got was throwing a chair at someone because they kept throwing pencils at me.
But in school recently I've been getting rejected.
I've tried to be funny, to boost peoples statuses, to be helpfull. All of this effort has been in vain. If its not some girl accusing me of stalking her with some claim out of left field. Or some girl who hangs out with my friends , who I'm always nice to, telling me to leave my friends. People Im nice to backstabbing me.
I feel like I need to reverse the precedent, but where do I start. Do I even start reversing the precedent? Apologizing for something I never did? For being sexually harassed by guys on my first time approaching two girls? For coming to school smelling like smoke, because drugdealer dad doesn't have control over his niccoteen cravings. For complimenting someone. For flirting with girls? For my polytheism?
I just really need to scream or something because I feel angry at my situation. Placing all the blame on myself hasn't fixed this, and neither have my efforts to be a good person, to help.
I've been crying for years, even as I'm writing this.
I've read chase's article on overcoming depression multiple times, but It feels like every time I try to make a friend I lose.
Lately, I've been feeling infinite rejection. I'll be glad when high school's over.
