Intense eye-contact - cognitive overload

[Rakkum]

Guys, would love to hear opinion on this one.

I can keep decent eye-contact when I'm talking with someone. However, when I really focus my gaze on the person's eye or between the eyes, I lose some of the ability to process what they are saying. Feels like cognitive overload and being slightly disoriented. I hear what they are saying but my mind is distracted and slowed down so keeping up the quality of the conversation is compromised.

Is this a temporary kink that will get ironed out with sufficient practice?

Regards,
Rakkum

 

[Mondo]

Practice might help with this. In the beginning making strong eye contact can be uncomfortable, but eventually you'll get it down and it's becomes second nature.

If you want extra help, I'd take up some sort of mindfulness practice like meditation.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Rakkum dude! Try not to 'focus' your gaze directly on their eyes. If you're one on one, deep diving and you want to soul gaze and try that hypnotic look then maybe be more focused but if you're thinking about having to hold and focus on maintaining looking then you're not picking up on other non verbals. Your attention is currently to focused on looking and holding this eye contact which is taking your concentration.

What usually happens if your focus is elsewhere your eyes wonder, then you focus on putting them back and you don't pay attention to what she's said.

There's key moments to hold eye contact and good moments to break it, if you hold good eye contact and she submits and looks down this naturally breaks your eye contact. You don't have to hold it anymore but you can use this to make things stronger when you have to. Think of it as using touch as a reward, you use a powerful look to connect.

It's a temporary kink while your attention is focused, if you feel you can hold eye contact and hold conversation take your mind away from thinking I need to focus my gaze and it'll come and feel more natural to you.

Also if you're looking to escalate switch to triangle or soul gazing dude

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hello Rakkum,

I bump an old post. Consider if it helps.

 

[Rakkum]

@Rakkum dude! Try not to 'focus' your gaze directly on their eyes. If you're one on one, deep diving and you want to soul gaze and try that hypnotic look then maybe be more focused but if you're thinking about having to hold and focus on maintaining looking then you're not picking up on other non verbals.

I have some colleagues whose eye-contact is... strong, to put it mildly. I would consider them as veeery charismatic. When they look at you then you really *feel* they look at you That's what I am trying to get to. I was thinking about gaze intensity as discussed here.

There's key moments to hold eye contact and good moments to break it,

Couldn't agree more!

It's a temporary kink while your attention is focused, if you feel you can hold eye contact and hold conversation take your mind away from thinking I need to focus my gaze and it'll come and feel more natural to you.

Glad to hear!

Also if you're looking to escalate switch to triangle or soul gazing dude

What exactly is the difference between soul gazing and holding strong eye-contact? Is it the same thing?

I bump an old post. Consider if it helps.

Saw it, thanks Zac! And for the other old stuff you keep on bumping !!

Practice might help with this. In the beginning making strong eye contact can be uncomfortable, but eventually you'll get it down and it's becomes second nature.

Hope so too, man! Thanks

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Rakkum dude! Strong eye contact is holding eye contact and being strong and deliberate in it so it's confident. It can be intense, it can be piercing, it can be sexual each with a little nuance. Soul gazing creates an intimate vibe where she'll feel like it's only you two in the world, it can be created from strong eye contact but it's a little gentler which makes her feel more comfortable holding the gaze while she gets lost in your little world.

Very powerful for creating bonding and ramping up a different type of intense passion. You can choose to become locked in to the gazing yourself or keep on the edge of it, being on the edge of it is better if you're inn public places and need to be aware of distractions and shit, if you're isolated at your place it's totally up to you dude.