Is finding a wife in the west a fantasy?

[DoWhatWorks]

TLDR: What are practical ways to increase your chances of meeting higher quality women in the west?

I want this to be a productive conversation but it has a real chance of blowing up lol so let me make some disclaimers.

1. Before I hear "just sleep with more girls bro" go onto the Field Report section of this site and filter by my name

2. I've seen several posts over the past few weeks' on guys asking about how to get higher quality women. To be honest the answers have been meh (unless I've missed it). They basically all say: hit on more girls and go to [xyz] daygame type hobbies/events.

Things that have helped me that I've not seen people talk about much

• Go for foreign girls. More old school values and all things considered will treat you better in my experience. 1st gen and earlier.
• Go for girls who live in commuter towns outside of main cities. Can go to bar in a satellite town near your city
• Early mid-20's. 24 seems to be the sweet spot. Not too young to be all over the place, old enough to have perspective but not too old to be bitter. Obviously this depends on the girl. I don't have enough data/experience on this though so more of a hunch tbh
• An obvious one but worth mentioning - go hard on daygame. I will be the first to admit I've met party and cluster b girls in daygame but I also don't think it's an accident that all x3 of the girls who I found GF material were all met through daygame. In places like bus stops and shopping centres.

Where is this question coming from?

Many guys here have worked on themselves, can easily get laid, are building very cool lives for themselves and are looking around like "fuck me... the quality just isn't there". I'm going to break my back becoming this amazing guy and all I have to pick from is girl A with purple hair, girl B with a "live, love laugh" tattoo or girl C who's accomplished but a little cold and boring?

God forbid.


What makes a girl wifey/girlfriend material?

Personal for everyone but for me:

• Happy to be submissive, feminine and have you lead
• High levels of self control I.E no hard drugs, tattoos or excessive alcohol consumption
• Lives a healthy lifestyle through exercise and productive habits
• Still has the ability to pair bond, have fruitful relationships and be sexually monogamous for extended periods of time
• [Bonus but not compulsory] makes your life easier via cooking, cleaning running admin for you etc.

Why do you even want that DWW?

I like what I like and refuse to be made to feel ashamed for it lol. Think a lot of guys have the same views but in this community they get drowned out by the player for life types (which is fine if that's a lifestyle choice that genuinely suits you) but most guys will eventually want to settle down.

Also come from a patriarchal, old school background which I'm sure has influenced my attitudes.

Have you ever even had a girlfriend material girl yourself??

Yes. Once when I was 19, one when I was 22 and last one when I was 24.

65 lays in and that's one in every 2-3 years. Funnily enough when I found each of those x3 girls we got close pretty quickly.


Now I'm in a comfortable rotation of x3 girls/ONS, not looking to get a wife (for another 5-10 years if ever) but I want the ability to be able to get one if I chose to.


Schools of thought I've seen

A) Women are women - I.E girls go through phases and a girl at a club could make just as good as a girlfriend as a girl from the library. Focus on on observing/screening her by being non-judgmental and having good frame.

B) All women are hoes or have the capacity to be a hoe - You shouldn't let the idea of "girl friend material" cloud your judgement as girls will use that against you to get what they want


C) There are good girls out there just have to look for them


D) You won't find that girl in the West... Go to [Eastern Europe, Latin America, Middle East]


Honestly I think all schools of thought have truth to them but for now I lean towards C as the optimist at heart that I am.


Productive answers only please and thank you x

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

I don't think PUA answers a Red Pill Question TBH. The Red Pill 2.0 (Roissy, Rollo, Roosh) basically discovered that once you start getting good with girls, a lot of girls in relationship are up for some shenanigans provided there is no blowback. Tyler touched on it with the Secret Society (RP 1.5, with OG PUA being RP 1.0)). So RP thoughts are derived from PUA practice. And the RP is just observations, it really doesn't proscribe any action. This is the data, do what you will.

I really do think this is a similar question to "How to spot tests in an LTR". How do I predict, control, and react to female behavior?

That said, the way I've been going about it finding a wife is that you do not find a wife, you make one.

Obviously, start with whatever you think is good stock. Some guys have hissy fits over tattoos. Other guys look at women in nurturing jobs (nurses, teachers). Experienced PUAs that have banged from Bangkok to Bangladesh know that none of that really matters.

Making a wife...

What that means is that you have to engineer your life to have a woman in it, and the woman's purpose has to be bigger than source of sex, source of affection, nurse, maid, cook and mother to your children.

And I do mean it's something more than her being a "Friend" or "trusted confidante". Because most of the time, she is neither.
You can't tell her anything without their being some sort of consequences - because she will use that information, consciously or unconsciously.

She needs to be able to do something to contribute, but to also feel fulfilled, like she's doing something.

So historically, the man went out to hunt, the woman cooked. The man plowed the field, she ran the house. Back in the day, the man was a contractor/tradesman, and his wife did the books. She worked for him, but working for him was working for the family.

She was not just an idle housewife with nothing to do. (Idle middle class women literally lead to feminism - and what they wanted was to vote, own property, go to college, and get jobs like men)

One cannot put Feminism genie back in the bottle. All Feminism really is/was - is that women have their own ideas, have ideas of what they want to do with their lives, on top of having good sex, a good relationship, and happy children.

A lot of the Red Pill/Trad Fem people online - they genuinely enjoy being homemakers. The day to day drudgery is not drudgery....until it is. (Even chicks with maids and nannies still find it necessary to get their husbands to do "work around the house" and still say he isn't helping enough).

So in my opinion, to really make a wife - the man has to create a life where she can put her entire person into. All her needs have to be met.

But to bring it back to PUA, happy wives get banged by players too.
Why?

She has her own mind.

So even if a guy manages to find the perfect Slovenian virgin or he runs a restaurant and she's the hostess/chef - it can all come crashing down because she changes her mind (based on some temporary fleeting feeling).

So, imo, the real thing about finding a wife is ultimately being okay with taking a loss.

From What I've seen, most PUAs and nearly all the RP guys are afraid of taking a big fat L.

WIA

 

[ocean_eyes]

Seeing one girl (of several) right now who checks all marks on the 'wifey' list PERFECTLY. She really adds a lot of positivity to my life. IF I were to get married, she would be a great candidate.

However, for me personally - there is no perfect woman. She is just one step along my journey, and I'll enjoy our time together until it has to end.

Ironically this attitude I possess, seems to make her strive to become more 'wifey' material by the day...

 

[climbingup]

Just move country. Honestly, marriage values and values that make a good wife are being degraded away in women day by day in the West. They are being pumped with information about how they deserve everything and modern feminism is entering their minds 24/7.

If you are looking for a good wife, you'll just have to leave the west tbh.

No one mentions moving to africa but that honestly is one of the best spots for that right now

 

[Skjöldr]

The whole idea that all women are the same and that you need to make your own wife is nonsense. Ofc you can screen for women that will make a better wife, all of the criterias you listed are good, I am sure there are many more to look for.

It is like saying that all men are men and that men go through phases. It is totally untrue. Women are very different, and some women are more prone to go through shitty phases than others.

 

[Skjöldr]

I will also say you shouldn't get married at all, when I talk about wife I mean lifetime commited partner.

 

[Will_V]

I don't think PUA answers a Red Pill Question TBH. The Red Pill 2.0 (Roissy, Rollo, Roosh) basically discovered that once you start getting good with girls, a lot of girls in relationship are up for some shenanigans provided there is no blowback. Tyler touched on it with the Secret Society (RP 1.5, with OG PUA being RP 1.0)). So RP thoughts are derived from PUA practice. And the RP is just observations, it really doesn't proscribe any action. This is the data, do what you will.

I really do think this is a similar question to "How to spot tests in an LTR". How do I predict, control, and react to female behavior?

That said, the way I've been going about it finding a wife is that you do not find a wife, you make one.

Obviously, start with whatever you think is good stock. Some guys have hissy fits over tattoos. Other guys look at women in nurturing jobs (nurses, teachers). Experienced PUAs that have banged from Bangkok to Bangladesh know that none of that really matters.

Making a wife...

What that means is that you have to engineer your life to have a woman in it, and the woman's purpose has to be bigger than source of sex, source of affection, nurse, maid, cook and mother to your children.

And I do mean it's something more than her being a "Friend" or "trusted confidante". Because most of the time, she is neither.
You can't tell her anything without their being some sort of consequences - because she will use that information, consciously or unconsciously.

She needs to be able to do something to contribute, but to also feel fulfilled, like she's doing something.

So historically, the man went out to hunt, the woman cooked. The man plowed the field, she ran the house. Back in the day, the man was a contractor/tradesman, and his wife did the books. She worked for him, but working for him was working for the family.

She was not just an idle housewife with nothing to do. (Idle middle class women literally lead to feminism - and what they wanted was to vote, own property, go to college, and get jobs like men)

One cannot put Feminism genie back in the bottle. All Feminism really is/was - is that women have their own ideas, have ideas of what they want to do with their lives, on top of having good sex, a good relationship, and happy children.

A lot of the Red Pill/Trad Fem people online - they genuinely enjoy being homemakers. The day to day drudgery is not drudgery....until it is. (Even chicks with maids and nannies still find it necessary to get their husbands to do "work around the house" and still say he isn't helping enough).

So in my opinion, to really make a wife - the man has to create a life where she can put her entire person into. All her needs have to be met.

But to bring it back to PUA, happy wives get banged by players too.
Why?

She has her own mind.

So even if a guy manages to find the perfect Slovenian virgin or he runs a restaurant and she's the hostess/chef - it can all come crashing down because she changes her mind (based on some temporary fleeting feeling).

So, imo, the real thing about finding a wife is ultimately being okay with taking a loss.

From What I've seen, most PUAs and nearly all the RP guys are afraid of taking a big fat L.

WIA

Good post! I agree with a lot of it. What I would add is that the community that a woman is in (something much bigger than the family) must support her role. I think it goes a long way toward taking care of impulsive stupidity.

A woman is always comparing her man against the ideal propped up by her community, as she does for herself as well. That's why I don't think it's really possible to run the 'us against the world' kind of family where you heavily depend on eachother for support in your values and consider the society around you to be hostile to it. If you have iron frame control you can get away with it for longer but eventually her resolve will wear out. She is nature's agent, and nature does not like it when men try to avoid competing.

I also agree with your point about accepting that you don't have ultimate control. A pretty Slovenian virgin running around the house is a beautiful thing, but her eyes shine with embers of the same untame nature that makes men go to war, kill eachother, and raze cities to the ground just to say that they are the greatest. And those embers cannot (and should not) be removed.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Great contributions so far - thanks all.

Wanted to unpack a few stand out points:

the way I've been going about it finding a wife is that you do not find a wife, you make one.

Excellent point. No girl is perfect and customizing will have to come in. Which is why learning game/skill is necessary stepping stone

What that means is that you have to engineer your life to have a woman in it, and the woman's purpose has to be bigger than source of sex, source of affection, nurse, maid, cook and mother to your children.

Also a solid point and links to something I forgot to mention which is aligning incentives. No one talks about this nearly enough as they should.

One thing you can 100% depend on people to do (man or woman) is act in their self interest. So you have to build a set up where a woman being with you and good to you allows her to live a better life than she could do so alone or vs other options she has on the table.

All Feminism really is/was - is that women have their own ideas, have ideas of what they want to do with their lives, on top of having good sex, a good relationship, and happy children.

Yep. You could debate that nowadays you're more likely to find a genuine wife than in the past because if a girl is that way inclined despite all of society's pressure you know it's genuinely her vs in the past I.E Red Pill Porn 1950's where most women were bending to the times but maybe would have been 10x "worse" if they lived in a different era.

So in my opinion, to really make a wife - the man has to create a life where she can put her entire person into. All her needs have to be met.

100% agree. Being the friend, the lover, the provider and a source of fulfillment. It's a lot of work lol so I completely get why a lot of guys don't bother.

But to bring it back to PUA, happy wives get banged by players too.
Why?

She has her own mind.

For sure which is why I think aligning incentives are so important. As her emotions will change but if she knows logically and deep in her soul that she won't replace you then you stack the odds in your favor but like seduction that's all you can really do. There's no guarantees.

Practical considerations include: not getting married, moving to avoid co-habitation/ common marriage laws. Heard a cool story about a guy who put his property under his mum's name so when he got divorced his ex-wife couldn't touch it.

There's work arounds but most involve logic, cash and preparation which free flowing seducers tend to shy away from.

This links to skjoldr's point too:

I will also say you shouldn't get married at all, when I talk about wife I mean lifetime commited partner.

Yep for me I'll treat my committed partner like a wife but our paperwork will say different. One of the key ways you retain good behavior too.

No one mentions moving to africa but that honestly is one of the best spots for that right now

I was born in Africa and have cousins/friends there. Trust me the grass isn't always greener, as I know people there complaining about finding suitable women for marriage. In some ways it's worse because things are lower economically "gold digger" behavior is more acceptable I.E asking a guy to top up your phone credit. Whereas in the West girls will proudly split the bill with you.

Pros and cons man, silver bullet doesn't exist.

This is why I think men should focus on being an "undeniable catch" FIRST then decide if they need to change environments.

A lot of these red pill guys look like uninspiring truck drivers, with dead end lives and no charisma yet they're wondering why no woman wants him as her husband???

People hate looking in the mirror.

The whole idea that all women are the same and that you need to make your own wife is nonsense. Ofc you can screen for women that will make a better wife

100% agree BUT I can't help but notice that all the guys who say otherwise are a lot more experienced than either of us...

So trying to keep an open mind. My interpretation is what these more experienced guys are REALLY saying is that after a while you can "mold" any girl who wants to be with you as your frame and skillset would have improved so much.

Think it's a part of seduction that then ultimately comes to personal style/preference as Chase is clearly closer to our school of thought.

A woman is always comparing her man against the ideal propped up by her community, as she does for herself as well. That's why I don't think it's really possible to run the 'us against the world' kind of family where you heavily depend on eachother for support in your values and consider the society around you to be hostile to it. If you have iron frame control you can get away with it for longer but eventually her resolve will wear out. She is nature's agent, and nature does not like it when men try to avoid competing.

I also agree with your point about accepting that you don't have ultimate control.

Very good point here too but I think this is where a man get clever and use society pressure to his ADVANTAGE.

For example with the recent celebrity Michael B & Lori the girl got shunned for refusing marriage with a top tier guy.

In my view this is a great example of a guy who didn't pick well. If he chose a more marriage minded girl vs a party one
then got married she would be receiving pressure from parents, grandparents, friends (long after her emotions have faded) to stick around because realistically "she won't do better"

That's how you flip the script in my view.

Positive (and negative I.E left broke if you divorce) incentives to stack the odds in your favor with the understanding you don't have full control.


A lot of work though... Can see why DiCaprio just dates girls until they're 25 before moving on lol

 

[DarkKnight]

I like what I like and refuse to be made to feel ashamed for it lol. Think a lot of guys have the same views but in this community they get drowned out by the player for life types (which is fine if that's a lifestyle choice that genuinely suits you) but most guys will eventually want to settle down.

Totally agreed.. it was a couple of weeks ago on the chat where the same dynamic was happening and I was the one with your viewpoint. Some guys are hedonistic, others want to build, in this case a family.

I seem to attract these family minded girls... and one thing that strikes me about them is that they are actually quite normal. Normal as in, not very flashy in clothing and behavior. This goes back to the articles of Chase about your passing up the hottest girl and the dynamic of men tending to go for whatever is flashy. There are normal girls around, they just do not stand out that much. Even girls who are highly intelligent and high quality. This is probably the biggest problem everyone has, looking out for flashy. Flashy tends to come with headaches.

Especially the girls who are pretend divas. Really annoying, when they keep craving extreme attention from the world. Good c-4 beneath your relationship.

 

[Chase]

@DoWhatWorks,

Always an interesting topic!

The simplest piece of advice for any kind of wife-hunting is “look for serial monogamists.” Ideally those with < 4 prior boyfriends. If she’s a serial monogamist with 4+ prior boyfriends, you’ve gotta wonder why she’s so far failed to lock any of ‘em down.

Younger serial monogamists are the ones most likely to fit the bill you’re looking for:

• Happy to be submissive, feminine and have you lead
• High levels of self control I.E no hard drugs, tattoos or excessive alcohol consumption
• Lives a healthy lifestyle through exercise and productive habits
• Still has the ability to pair bond, have fruitful relationships and be sexually monogamous for extended periods of time
• [Bonus but not compulsory] makes your life easier via cooking, cleaning running admin for you etc.

Anyone else is a lot less likely to.

Career girls aren’t submissive. Party girls lack self-control. Older unmarried women who’ve been through lots of men don’t tend to pair bond well. Etc.

As for these:

Schools of thought I've seen

A) Women are women - I.E girls go through phases and a girl at a club could make just as good as a girlfriend as a girl from the library. Focus on on observing/screening her by being non-judgmental and having good frame.

B) All women are hoes or have the capacity to be a hoe - You shouldn't let the idea of "girl friend material" cloud your judgement as girls will use that against you to get what they want


C) There are good girls out there just have to look for them


D) You won't find that girl in the West... Go to [Eastern Europe, Latin America, Middle East]


Honestly I think all schools of thought have truth to them but for now I lean towards C as the optimist at heart that I am.

Yes, some truth in all those. If taken to extremes they stop being true though.

• “Women are women” is true to the extent “men are men”, “fish are fish”, “drinking mugs are drinking mugs”, etc. You can find many similarities in any one type of thing. But there are also plenty of differences.
  
  
• “All women are X or can be X” is also true to the extent “all men are X or can be X”… like “All men can be players given the right motivation.” WILL all men be players? No. COULD all men be players? In theory yes. The same is true for women being hos. Will they all be? No. Could any of them be, given just the right motivation/situation/push? Sure. She may not necessarily receive that, though.
  
  
• “There are good girls out there” — I’ve always found this term a little too Disney. But as far as “good quality human beings” and “women who probably won’t rip your heart out and stomp all over it unless you give them a really good reason to [like becoming a total pussy or failing to shag them well for a couple years in a row]”, those girls are out there, and I’d say it’s probably a solid majority of them.
  
  
• “You won’t find that girl in the West” — it’s harder in the West than elsewhere in the world, this is true. More women never marry, fewer women want the traditional wife role, there is a lot less NEED in women for men, a lot less of society pushing women toward marriage, etc. But many women still have that primal drive to couple up with a man and get commitment and children or some other life purpose out of him, and they will seek that out, even if society doesn’t promote it or even discourages it. You can find them in the West, they just aren’t coming out of the woodwork everywhere like they are outside the West, where “I’m looking for a husband by 26” is basically the female operating model.

A few other notes…

I’m a bit partial to @West_Indian_Archie’s position that you can in theory make a wife out of just about any girl. If you’re a highly attractive man, with ironclad frame control, and you are dicking her down well (road to a woman’s heart is through her vagina)… then on top of that you are keeping her pregnant, or keeping her busy running around town promoting whatever it is you have her promoting, or you have her wrapped up in your never-ending adventures, or whatever you need a wife for, you will suck her in deep.

The biggest issue with trying to wife up any girl of course is her own willingness to go along with it. The less well-matched she is for whatever it is you want her to do, the more you are going to be frame controlling it all the way, with her kicking and screaming trying to reassert her control the entire time.

So really, the best recommendation is looking for a woman who is aligned with what you want, so she is happy you are sucking her into your wife role, rather than rebelling constantly against it, needing you to quell that rebellion over and over.

We come down to what is really the thing here though: what do you NEED a wife for?

• There is a large group of men who seem to basically need a wife for emotional reassurances or else basic companionship. These are the guys who get burned badly. “Emotional rock” or “BFF” are really not good roles for a man to try to squeeze a woman into. Men need to figure out their own emotional stuff on their own (not lean on women for this), and as a man your BFFs should be men.
  
  
• There are guys who select wives for kind of pseudo-reasons, like tax benefits or to aid their public image because it looks bad to be unmarried. A lot of these guys have swinger or open relationships, and that can work out fine for them so long as it remains what they and the wife both want (but it may not always).
  
  
• Otherwise, you really need to know WHAT a wife is for for you, and what she is going to be doing around you that makes it worth keeping her in that role instead of, say, skipping (or jettisoning) her so you can continue your responsibility-free seduction of one nubile nymph after another willy-nilly.

If she isn’t raising your children or promoting your work or engaged in worldwide exploration with you, you will need to come up with something else compelling that makes marriage make sense, rather than simply being just another purposeless endeavor that crumbles because people’s emotions change and there’s really no higher, more compelling reason to stay in it.

A few recommendations:

The Unicorn Hunter

Perfect 10s, unicorns, what have you – do they even exist? In particular, we look at American girls, and if you can still find a good one. There’s a special kind of girl out there. This kind of girl is perfect. During the Pick Up Artist Era, she was known as the Perfect 10. Debates raged across...

www.girlschase.com

How to Screen for a Wife and Mother

Beyond dates and girlfriends, what should you look for in a wife? 6 things: genes, background, personality, beliefs, age, and life goals. Bit of a departure from our usual fare, but commenting on “Why Madonna/Whore is Intimately Linked with the West”, Jimbo asks: “What kind of girl and where to...

www.girlschase.com

And the one referenced by @DarkKnight:

You're Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls

When I first moved to California, I set up a number of dates in advance (thanks, online dating!) so that I’d be able to hit the ground running when I got there. My first date I set up for one week after I’d arrived (I wanted a little time to unpack and make my place presentable first... plus...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[Skills]

TLDR: What are practical ways to increase your chances of meeting higher quality women in the west?

I want this to be a productive conversation but it has a real chance of blowing up lol so let me make some disclaimers.

1. Before I hear "just sleep with more girls bro" go onto the Field Report section of this site and filter by my name

2. I've seen several posts over the past few weeks' on guys asking about how to get higher quality women. To be honest the answers have been meh (unless I've missed it). They basically all say: hit on more girls and go to [xyz] daygame type hobbies/events.

Things that have helped me that I've not seen people talk about much

• Go for foreign girls. More old school values and all things considered will treat you better in my experience. 1st gen and earlier.
• Go for girls who live in commuter towns outside of main cities. Can go to bar in a satellite town near your city
• Early mid-20's. 24 seems to be the sweet spot. Not too young to be all over the place, old enough to have perspective but not too old to be bitter. Obviously this depends on the girl. I don't have enough data/experience on this though so more of a hunch tbh
• An obvious one but worth mentioning - go hard on daygame. I will be the first to admit I've met party and cluster b girls in daygame but I also don't think it's an accident that all x3 of the girls who I found GF material were all met through daygame. In places like bus stops and shopping centres.

Where is this question coming from?

Many guys here have worked on themselves, can easily get laid, are building very cool lives for themselves and are looking around like "fuck me... the quality just isn't there". I'm going to break my back becoming this amazing guy and all I have to pick from is girl A with purple hair, girl B with a "live, love laugh" tattoo or girl C who's accomplished but a little cold and boring?

God forbid.


What makes a girl wifey/girlfriend material?

Personal for everyone but for me:

• Happy to be submissive, feminine and have you lead
• High levels of self control I.E no hard drugs, tattoos or excessive alcohol consumption
• Lives a healthy lifestyle through exercise and productive habits
• Still has the ability to pair bond, have fruitful relationships and be sexually monogamous for extended periods of time
• [Bonus but not compulsory] makes your life easier via cooking, cleaning running admin for you etc.

Why do you even want that DWW?

I like what I like and refuse to be made to feel ashamed for it lol. Think a lot of guys have the same views but in this community they get drowned out by the player for life types (which is fine if that's a lifestyle choice that genuinely suits you) but most guys will eventually want to settle down.

Also come from a patriarchal, old school background which I'm sure has influenced my attitudes.

Have you ever even had a girlfriend material girl yourself??

Yes. Once when I was 19, one when I was 22 and last one when I was 24.

65 lays in and that's one in every 2-3 years. Funnily enough when I found each of those x3 girls we got close pretty quickly.


Now I'm in a comfortable rotation of x3 girls/ONS, not looking to get a wife (for another 5-10 years if ever) but I want the ability to be able to get one if I chose to.


Schools of thought I've seen

A) Women are women - I.E girls go through phases and a girl at a club could make just as good as a girlfriend as a girl from the library. Focus on on observing/screening her by being non-judgmental and having good frame.

B) All women are hoes or have the capacity to be a hoe - You shouldn't let the idea of "girl friend material" cloud your judgement as girls will use that against you to get what they want


C) There are good girls out there just have to look for them


D) You won't find that girl in the West... Go to [Eastern Europe, Latin America, Middle East]


Honestly I think all schools of thought have truth to them but for now I lean towards C as the optimist at heart that I am.


Productive answers only please and thank you x

- Getting a wife unless for procreation (having kids and even with having kids you don't need to be married),this is obsolete, and it really does not make sense now a days specially in the west. So I am going to assume you are talking about main and/or ltr.

- It seems like there are 50 posts similar to this one on a monthly basis in the forum, same concern and topic the answer is going to be the same aka fundamentals of relationships(i am going to do a post just so i don't have to search for this):

Step 1:

-you are dating and sleeping with multiple women.

Step 2:

- one stands out, you catch feeling or is harder to lock in even as seducer you may get a mild onitis, but you are able to navigate and deal with this properly. (this i don't think you have experience dww, and this usually happens every 3 years if you are actively sarging ime)

Step 3:

- hopefully that special girl now gets invested

Step 4

- as she gets invested little by little you start dropping some girls cause she is indirectly asking to be main.

Step 5

- after 3 to 6 months you have enough intelligence and screening and you. Make her main or ltr.

Step 6

- she inderectly pushes for moving in, engagement marriage, kids and the rest.

Dww, you think and this is a lot of dudes in the forum cause they are getting laid which is a skillset translate to relationship, again 2 totally different skillsets, You are not even getting to step 2 dude, come on... Actually your getting laid is backfiring cause is making you more empty cause the women are using you as a dildo.... So you are getting kind of emotionally unfulfilled, cause you are like "fuck another lay, but why i am not feeling better, happier" this drive seducers crazy, make them want to settle down already, and even suicidal.

Dww you can not skip steps, to find a wife you need to have multiple experiences with ltrs and mains(you don't have this dude), cause that is how you know what you don't want, all this criteria s you listed in the forum, is meh... My first wife fit all your criteria's, look like Sansa stark (exact replica), 22 years old (horrible age by the way, i would say ideal age should be 26), (eastern european hungarian) all your list to the t.... Let me put it to you this way, there was not skills telling me what to do back then, i also did not have enough ltrs, main experiences = failed after 3 years....


Again the women are women, i explained a million times as well...... If a dude has done the proper 6 steps, the girl that makes it to final round, will conform and take your leadership her relationship agenda will be thrown out the window, she will follow your leadership and your frame.... For the 50th time the day game, night game crap, online..... Makes no difference if you have done the proper vetting(the steps).....

2 ways if you want to screen, normal way (rev lifestyle designed did an excellent break down in guest post for me also a video on his channel will post), or my reverse hypergamy= both valid ways"

"Im going to outline the key factors for managing a monogamous relationship for the kind of guys who read this site, alpha males, not some men are from mars, women are from venus bullshit relationship advice. This guide is for alpha males only and is not politically correct, this is for guys who understand men and women are different and want a feminine woman who will give them balance, love and happiness. At 32 years old I’ve been in the game for a while and have observed a lot of things, I can confidently tell you everything I recommend here is based on trial and error, mostly error. I want to show you how to meet the right girl and create the right relationship, in the post feminist age this is not as easy as it should be, it takes screening, managing expectations, lifestyle design and relationship management tactics. You need to realize that picking up women and maintaining relationships are two totally different skill sets. When it comes to relationships with women its good to remember that all relationships are temporary. There is no foolproof way from preventing them from ending but there is a way of getting the most out of them and avoiding pain. You might be together for the rest of your life or you might be finished tomorrow, the key is to enjoy it in the moment and not compromise yourself as a man by doing things you’ll be embarrassed about later.The first key is screening or finding the right woman, 90% of the problems guys have with women is that they’re dating the wrong woman.

Does your girlfriend nag you to pick up your socks? Wrong Woman

Does your girlfriend ask you for money? Wrong Woman

Is your girlfriend rude to you in public? Wrong Woman

Does your girlfriend call you at work to fight with you? Wrong Woman

To avoid dating the wrong woman you need to screen hard for the right woman.

Screening

Screening women is the most important part of having a good relationship, it is impossible to have a good relationship without a good woman. Guys who failed to screen properly get drama, abuse, disloyalty, negativity, risk their assets and sometimes their physical safety. If I could define the right woman in one word it would be submissive. If a woman is not submissive towards you she will never accept your leadership, your life will be filled with nagging, drama and worse. A submissive woman is the only kind of woman an alpha male can date long term, leave the dominant women to the beta males. You can have plenty of fun with all types of women in casual relationships but when it comes to giving your heart, combining your life goals or sharing assets and territory submissives are the only kind of woman for you. You can ignore this rule but you will pay the price with mathematical certainty. There’s only room for one star in a relationship, and that has to be you, a true submissive only loves whats better than her, she wants your guidance, leadership, love and protection. There is no equality in any relationship, someone always has more power, as an alpha male you will never be happy unless that’s you, you are dominant, she is submissive, when both of you fulfill those roles both of you will be happy. With that said, not all submissives are created equal, there is a lot more screening that needs to be done to find the right woman. From the first date you need to be asking her probing questions but ask them innocently as part of regular conversation and never with a judgemental tone so that you can get an honest answer. You want to know as much about her as possible, about her childhood, her parents marriage, her previous boyfriends, her sexuality, her hopes and dreams, her strengths, her weaknesses, her fears, you can’t know enough about her. You will be constantly listening and absorbing information which will paint you a picture of the woman you’re dealing with. You should have at least 2-3 months of dating and getting to know a woman before you upgrade her to your girlfriend, this will help you screen out women rather than jumping into something too early. These are the most important characteristics to look for in a woman:


Beauty

• Dating a beautiful woman means you’ll be happy to look at her
• Its especially important you find her beautiful without makeup because thats the face you’ll be waking up to

Happiness

• A happy girl is crucial for your well being, you want someone who will bring you up, be pleasant to be around and be positive towards your life goals
• Of course no one’s happy all the time but you don’t want a negative girl weighing down your positive, winning attitude

Compatibility

• You want someone you don’t have to work to be around, someone with the same sense of humour, interests and lifestyle
• As a feminine woman though she will generally love babies, animals and cute things that you don’t care about, this is something you’ll have to indulge, there just needs to be common ground
• This means you have to be compatible sexually as well, to be monogamous with someone, the sex needs to be good, for both you and her, sex is usually the first thing to go in a relationship

Loyalty

• You want to hear that she has long term female friendships, doesn’t talk behind peoples back and hasn’t cheated on a boyfriend
• A lack of female friends is a major red flag, it means she’s probably crazy and untrustworthy around other women’s men
• A girl won’t always tell you if she’s cheated but many do, that makes it easy to screen them out
• You can never be sure a girl won’t cheat on you but you want to decrease the probability as much as you can

Medium Self Esteem

• A medium self esteem woman is the perfect girlfriend, she’s balanced without being arrogant or self hating
• Low self esteem women don’t think highly of themselves, and will drag you down into their negativity
• High self esteem women take compliments well but think too highly of themselves generally bordering on arrogance, chances are they won’t be willing to submit to your leadership
• A good test is giving her a compliment, if she smiles and accepts it generally you’re dealing with a medium self esteem woman

Femininity

• Feminine women tend to dress well, are more likely to be sweet, gentle and strongly value interpersonal relationships as opposed to masculine women who are career driven, assertive and rough, nothing you want for a long term relationship
• She compliments your aggressive, masculine nature with a loving, feminine nature
• She’s eager to please, this means that it literally makes her happy to make you happy
• A feminine woman makes you feel like a man, you feel stronger around her because she builds you up not brings you down
• She makes you want to take care of her and brings out the protective, nurturing side of you
• The ideal girlfriend is sweet, pleasant to be around and nurturing, this is even more important if you’re considering having kids with her, you want a woman who would make an ideal mother
• She’s never rude or sarcastic to you or others, especially in public, as a man you definitely don’t tolerate disrespect from your girlfriend, you find rudeness in women disgusting

Submissiveness

• Submissive women want a confident, dominant man to take charge and lead inside and outside the bedroom, this means leading her emotions, offering guidance on her life and setting up activities for the two of you
• If you want to read another solid article about finding submissive women check out what Victor Pride wrote over here.
• A submissive woman will be gentle, easy-going and rarely test you unless it’s an important issue this is what you want, as opposed to dominant woman who will constantly be testing your frame with teases, insults and questions to see what you’re made of
• She accepts that you and your mission comes first and everything else comes second, this means shes not whining about the time you spend working on your mission or getting in your way, but rather supporting you towards greatness
• She doesn’t try to compete with you in the material world, her goals are loving relationships, a happy family and children

Love-Motivated

• Love-based women are motivated by having meaningful loving relationships, they tend to have close friends and family and a history of long-term relationships, this is the type of woman you want
• Pleasure-based women are thrill seekers, they will tend to like adventure, drugs, sex, partying and having fun, they make great fuck buddies but should be avoided as girlfriends unless you like a ton of drama
• Status-based women are concerned about their rank in society, they strongly value money, power, looks and connections, they should be avoided as well for anything more than casual fun
• A love-based woman has a low number of sexual partners, this means she hasn’t separated sex from emotion and is able to pair-bond more strongly than a promiscuous girl
• She cares much more about family then career, love and family makes her happy, this means you won’t be trying to force a girl away from her fabulous life of being a corporate slave
• A love-based woman will NOT ask you for money, I can’t stress this enough, she might allow you to take care of her or be happy with nice gifts but she will not ask you for money or expensive things, any girl who asks you for money is status based and should be screened out immediately

Non-Dramatic

• Non-dramatic women will handle negative situations with appropriate emotions as opposed to screaming, damaging property or threats
• Her response to problems with you will usually be sadness over anger which is much more manageable

Well Raised

• A woman’s relationship with her father is the primary factor in determining how she will interact with the men in her life
• A good relationship with her father means she will most likely treat you well
• A bad relationship with her father means that she will eventually project her issues with him on to you
• Its also important to note how she gets along with her mom, although less important than her dad, you want to hear she has a great relationship with both
• A girls relationship with her parents shapes who she is, if she suffered emotional, physical or sexual abuse she should be avoided, although that sounds harsh, unfortunately most people don’t recover from that kind of childhood

Monogamous

• Her relationship history is a good indicator of her future relationships, if she has a long history of casual sex and short term relationships then she would be a great fuck buddy
• For a monogamous girlfriend you want a long history of monogamy

Traditional

• In general, the relationship of a women’s parents will define her relationships as she will internalize a lot of her mothers behavior towards her father
• If a woman comes from a patriarchy, chances are she will expect that kind of relationship for herself, this is the type of family you want her to come from
• This means you won’t have to educate her that you are the man and she is the woman
• This means she cooks and cleans naturally and so does her mother, this means if you do choose to get married (with a strong pre-nup and your assets located offshore) it won’t even be a question of who cooks and cleans
• Being a traditional woman, she doesn’t identify as a feminist, a woman who identifies feminist will always resent being told what to do by a man
• A feminist will be proud to “call you out on your bullshit” so unless you want a lifetime of that, avoid them like the plague

Middle Class

• Middle class women are down to earth and ideal for long term relationships
• A lower class girl will be too rough and difficult to relate to whereas a girl from the upper classes will be spoiled, expensive and not appreciate the sacrifices you need to make for your success
• Middle class girls are the most grounded and as an ambitious guy you can bring her to a higher standard of living that she will admire you for

Mentally Healthy

• A mentally healthy woman will have strong coping mechanisms and a lack of self-destructive behaviors, this is what you need
• A mentally unhealthy woman will have weak coping mechanisms and a history of some or all of the following; eating disorders, abuse, depression or self-injury, if she has any history of these that is a huge red flag

Secure

• A possessive woman will be jealous, insecure and constantly needing reassurances of fidelity
• A secure, will be trusting and secure in the relationship, pick her

Does it seem like this is a long list?

Thats because it is.

Does it seem like its hard to find the right girlfriend?

That’s because it is, especially in post-feminist North America where woman act like men and men act like women

The second key is to know what the right relationship looks like and how to manage it. A lot of guys don’t have a picture of what a good relationship should look like, or they’ve internalized a negative model of their parents relationship and pursue that. A good relationship is happy and fun with low drama, good sex, love and trust. The keys to creating a good relationship are screening, managing expectations, lifestyle design and using the right relationship management tactics. A good relationship is a traditional relationship with traditional sex roles and expectations, if you want a non-traditional relationship, date a feminist and watch her lecture you on misogyny, the oppressive patriarchy and rape culture. If you want a traditional marriage, marry a traditional woman who will take care of your kids happily, if you want a non-traditional marriage, marry a career woman who will put her job before her family and get a non-traditional result, a divorce. Before starting a relationship its important to manage expectations, both hers and yours and make sure your agendas are aligned.

Managing Expectations

In every relationship women will have expectations and so will you, you need to be upfront with those, you also need to know that a woman will not always be upfront with hers in order not to scare you off. A traditional woman who loves you will want marriage and kids. She’ll also want to go on dates once or a week or once every two weeks, talk about her day for about 30 minutes, have you spend time with her family and friends, accompany her to social functions, communicate daily and have good sex and cuddling at least a few times a week. She’ll want you to support her emotionally, protect her physically and earn a decent living or be ambitious towards success, all girls want to be with a winner.

Your Agenda

• Loyalty: If she cheats or betrays you in any way, its over, no exceptions
• Submission: You’re the leader of this relationship, she happily submits to your decisions
• Sex: You need consistent sex, she should know that if she starts denying you sex you will lose interest in being in a relationship with her and find it somewhere else
• Good Behavior: That means for the majority of the time you expect her to be happy, loving, affectionate, loyal and fun
• Attractiveness: You expect her to stay fit, dress well and take care of herself, by not doing these things it means she doesn’t respect you enough to try to impress you anymore
• You then need to decide what else you expect from her and the relationship, I can’t define this for you but make sure she knows what you expect BEFORE you get in a relationship and agrees to it

Her Agenda

• Monogamy: Girls do not handle open relationships very well, especially traditional ones, she will expect you to be monogamous, or at the very least, discreet
• Emotional Support: Girls love for men to be able to take care of them emotionally, lead her emotions to positive things and support her in times of stress
• Financial Support: Traditional woman will allow you to take care of them financially, but a good one will NOT ask you for money, you have to decide in advance how much or how little you want to support her
• Escort: This means accompanying her to social functions, you have to decide in advance how often you plan on doing these things
• Protection: This means protect her from physical threats, every alpha male reading this should be to able do this
• Sex: She will want good sex as much as you do
• Guidance: A submissive girl is going to be happy to be led by a competent, ambitious guy, you want to build her up and have her feel great about herself and her future
• Children: Every traditional girl wants a family of her own and you might too, however you need to make sure you’re on the same timeline, you might want kids ten years from now and she might want them today, you need to make sure you’re not in conflict on this one

Once you have your agendas in sync its time to start building a great lifestyle:

Lifestyle Design

Being in a relationship means taking the world on together. You want to create the best possible reality for you and her, here are some key points for building a great life together:

Healthy Living

• Don’t get fat and lazy like lots of couples do
• Be healthy, active and moving up in life

Good Food

• Good food is key, you should have a few good spots around you for takeout and get her to cook for you, it will make both of you happy
• You should have some dessert, ice cream, candy and popcorn on hand for watching with movies/shows

Good Media

• This means you should have good movies and tv shows lined up for when she comes over or if she lives with you
• Good tools for this are a chromecast or mini pc hooked up to your tv
• If you’re seeing a girl consistently its a good idea to find a show you both like, with a deep catalogue of episodes, this makes it easy to decide what to watch when she’s over

Good Sex

• Sex is a bonding experience, its super important for keeping her attracted to you and vice versa
• Unfortunately as guys its really easy to get bored of fucking the same woman, especially if you’ve experienced years of being a player
• To keep from getting bored you need to quit porn, quit masturbation and keep ejaculations to a minimum
• Its important to turn away from the dopamine rush of masturbation and porn, this will make your girlfriend even less interesting and lead to losing feelings for her or cheating
• By keeping your ejaculations to a mininimum, you will be constantly attracted to her and your mood and vitality will be much higher making you happier to be with her
• Love is at least 50% lust and you want your vitality and attraction to her to be consistently strong, not like after you cum when all you want is for her to stop talking so you can go to sleep
• Focus on sex as more of a bonding experience as opposed to orgasm chasing and you can access amazing states of consciousness, tantric sex and karezza are two really cool options

Good Social Life

• Make sure you have similar interests, friends, and mutual respect from both peer groups
• Socializing should be fun for both of you
• If you hate her friends its going to be pretty hard to hang out with them

Goals

• Talk about your ambitions, let her be part of them, let her help you with them
• Your ambition and drive for success will be a turn on for her

Guidance

• Build her up with compliments and lead her to her goals
• See her as her ideal self and she’ll love you for it

Fun

• Be fun and joke with her, all submissive girls like to be teased
• This can mean, tickling, playfighting, joking or doing impressions, be silly together

Dates

• When you have a girlfriend you will spend more money, thats just how it is
• Girls love going out and you should like it too, expect maybe once a week or once every couple of weeks to take her out for dinner and a movie.

Once you have the right lifestyle set up its important to know how to manage the relationship, with power comes responsibility.

Relationship Management Tactics

As the leader of the relationship you want to keep a cool head and actively solve problems. Its you’re responsibility to lead with maturity, if there are problems in the relationship its you’re responsiblity to address them. Here are the key tactics for managing your relationship:

Know Your Role

• Put yourself first, stay dominant and lead, submissives will always love strong men
• This means be a man and follow your mission, this is what attracted her to you in the first place and what will continually make you attractive
• Be self reliant and problem solve don’t being weak and whiny
• Eradicate neediness and jealousy from your life, be strong and secure

Keep Yourself Attractive

• That means working out consistenly and staying fit, just because you have a girlfriend doesn’t mean you can start to get fat and lazy
• Dress well, women will always love a sharp dressed man in the same way men love well dressed women
• Do this for yourself first and her second

Communicate

• Communication is extremely important for woman and is important in a successful relationship
• This means knowing her inside out, knowing what shes thinking before she says it, this will bond her tightly to you, it also means you know when she’s lying and will call her out on it, stay observant
• If either of you have a problem, try and address it logically and offer a solution but limit relationship talks to a minimum
• Actively listen to what she has to say, girls need to talk about their day, give her at least 20 minutes every day to do this

Gentle Correction

• This is the first method you use when she does something you don’t like
• You tell her “Hey, I really don’t like when you do x behavior, I would really appreciate if you didn’t do it anymore”
• If she accepts the correction, then you give her a quick hug and a kiss and move on to something else

Strong Correction

• Use strong correction when either gentle correction fails, or she accepts gentle correction but constantly repeats the same negative behavior
• This means stern look, raising your voice (not yelling) and aggressively verbally challenging her behavior
• This should be used sparingly because its upsetting for her and if you’ve screened properly gentle correction should be enough

Ending The Relationship

For the most part ending the relationship is a decision that will fall to you. If you let a submissive end the relationship that means you’ve waited too long, submissives usually don’t take the initiative and for her to end it means she’s been unhappy for a long time, something you should have noticed. If you have to end a relationship do it quickly and firmly, like taking off a bandaid, and remember you can’t be friends after. Here are the reasons for ending a relationship:

• She is no longer fulfilling your agenda despite the correction you’ve given her, that could mean cheating, withholding sex, drama, nagging or any other condition that’s unacceptable to you
• When either of you loses attraction
• When your agendas change or become incompatible"

The Ultimate guide to getting and keeping a girlfriend (featuring Revlifestyledesign) - The Skills Method

I’m going to outline the key factors for managing a monogamous relationship for the kind of guys who read this site, alpha males, not some men are from mars, women … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

Here is something I do i called reverse hypergamy more dark seduction, but it also same shit:


This is the formula I use successfully for not having dry streaks, this formula also helps in your seductions (abundance mentality). I can not remember the last time I had a dry streak and I am being super honest (probably in the last 15 years). So what is the secret? I use the same formula I used to use back in the days when I was in corporate america and that is “never quit or get fired without having another job/jobs lined up”.

So how can we translate that to seduction? simple, you get a girl that is fuckable, hopefully not less than your own 6, in your own personal preference of hotness from 6-10. You make her what I call your “main girl/queen”. If you are a decent seducer and you have fucked her at least 3 times really good, hopefully she will become invested (this is key for control). So now you go out and get other women, those other women will become what I call “girls on the side”, this new women will automatically be more attracted and invested in you, since you come across no needy, since you have a main girl.

Now as soon as one of the girls on the side is better than the” main girl/queen” , you replace the “main girl/queen” with the girl on the side GRADUALLY, it has to be a slow process, since the girl on the side needs to be proven on the new role. Once she is proven, you need to get rid of the “main girl/queen”. The beauty is the former main girl will go crazy and act needy, and will let you sleep with her and be a side girl for her fear of loss, usually she will let you do this for about 3 months to a year, depending on her level of attachment.

You can follow this pattern till you find what i call a “game changer” (girlfriend). This will be an unusual girl in her level of personality, hotness and sexual skills that is 1% of the population of woman). At this point is up to your own personal preference to go either poly or mono or whatever.

How to get a girlfriend and never having dry streaks

Here I will share my secret formula that I have been following for the last 15 years, for getting the right girlfriend while never having a dry streak.

www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Great contributions as always @Chase & @Skills

- Thank You.

To clarify wife would be if I decided to have kids in the future (still undecided)

Aside from that I don’t see any reason to “marry”

 

[Skjöldr]

To clarify wife would be if I decided to have kids in the future (still undecided)

Aside from that I don’t see any reason to “marry”

Why would you need to get married to have a family?

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Why would you need to get married to have a family?

In summary: kids born into married 2 parent households are more likely to do better in life.

Would be more for my kids rather than me hence why I'm undecided. Goes without saying I wouldn't compromise on not having assets protected.