Is it always appropriate to move fast with women?

[LoverOfWomen]

I've read on multiple articles on GC that you have to move fast with women otherwise they will get bored, frustrated and you may fall into the dreaded friendzone....which is a big no-no for us.

Does the above only apply to girls that you've just met (e.g. cafe/street/restaurant/bar etc)?

What about girls you will be around for a long period of time (e.g. college/uni etc)?
Do I have more leeway (more time) to take things slowly before asking a girl out in this specific situation?

Correct me if I'm wrong I think that if a girl is around you a lot (either in your social circle or taking the same degree or major as you) you may have more chance to take things slowly.
by taking things slowly i don't mean taking her out on dates and spending a lot of money on her. What I mean is talking to her and finding more about her.

What I don't understand is how do we balance between moving fast with women while not coming across as needy or creepy?

 

[Kvothe]

https://www.girlschase.com/content/why-m ... oving-fast

In seriousness though, generally moving fast is better.

My view of moving fast is that it's actually about calibration. You have to see how the girl is behaving and decide whether to move faster based on that. If she's super comfortable dial it up and move faster, if she seems hesitant or uncomfortable, slow down. Moving fast is something to do before you gain experience and understand how to calibrate to each girl-it's like training wheels for a bike. Since when we're inexperienced we're more likely to move too slowly, Chase teaches to move fast since that's what we're likely needing to improve on.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey,

It is possible to get girls by moving slow, but the success rate is much, much lower. You will need to be lucky enough that the girl is fairly into you, and that no (faster moving) guy gets his hands on her before you finish all your slow moves. Going slowly, you will lose many, many girls that you otherwise could have had. Remember that a guy who is good with girls will take her to bed after two hours of meeting her ever (if not less).

The irony is, guys move slow because they "don't want to take unnecessary risks", or "don't want to fuck up", or "don't want to move before they're 100% sure". And by doing so, they actually end up fucking it up.

Does the above only apply to girls that you've just met (e.g. cafe/street/restaurant/bar etc)?

Moving fast works especially well with girls who don't know you yet. A girl is much more likely to hook up with a random, sexy stranger they just met than with the nice guy who's been turning around them for months.

What about girls you will be around for a long period of time (e.g. college/uni etc)?

Most likely, these girls already categorized you as a guy that "doesn't make things happen". Your chances to get these girls are extremely low. And if all of a sudden you decide to "move fast" with them, they won't understand why this sudden 180 degrees turn. Not congruent with your former behavior. It is going anyway very difficult to make them change the image they have of you of "a guy who doesn't make things happen".

Do I have more leeway (more time) to take things slowly before asking a girl out in this specific situation?

Your chances are extremely low either way. You have higher chances with a brand new girl.

What I mean is talking to her and finding more about her.

What exactly are you looking to achieve? You want to take her to bed, or to be her buddy? If you act like her buddy, you will end up being her buddy.

Finding more about her will not help you take her to bed. Building some rapport is necessary, so that she feels some emotional connection with you. But two hours of face time building rapport is enough. No need to spend five dates finding about her, because you will be right in the friend zone by then.

What I don't understand is how do we balance between moving fast with women while not coming across as needy or creepy?

If you have been around a girl for months without taking action, that's where you are creepy. And if you have built all your expectations around her all this time, that's where you are needy.

The guy who moves fast does not come across as needy or creepy. Because he has two or three other date prospects lined up, and maybe a couple of girls he's already seeing regularly. So, he couldn't care less about failing this particular girl. Besides, he knows when he meets her that he stands 30 to 50% chance of fucking her in a couple of hours.

Think about it.

Seppuku

 

[LoverOfWomen]

Hey,

It is possible to get girls by moving slow, but the success rate is much, much lower. You will need to be lucky enough that the girl is fairly into you, and that no (faster moving) guy gets his hands on her before you finish all your slow moves. Going slowly, you will lose many, many girls that you otherwise could have had. Remember that a guy who is good with girls will take her to bed after two hours of meeting her ever (if not less).

The irony is, guys move slow because they "don't want to take unnecessary risks", or "don't want to fuck up", or "don't want to move before they're 100% sure". And by doing so, they actually end up fucking it up.

Does the above only apply to girls that you've just met (e.g. cafe/street/restaurant/bar etc)?

Moving fast works especially well with girls who don't know you yet. A girl is much more likely to hook up with a random, sexy stranger they just met than with the nice guy who's been turning around them for months.

What about girls you will be around for a long period of time (e.g. college/uni etc)?

Most likely, these girls already categorized you as a guy that "doesn't make things happen". Your chances to get these girls are extremely low. And if all of a sudden you decide to "move fast" with them, they won't understand why this sudden 180 degrees turn. Not congruent with your former behavior. It is going anyway very difficult to make them change the image they have of you of "a guy who doesn't make things happen".

Do I have more leeway (more time) to take things slowly before asking a girl out in this specific situation?

Your chances are extremely low either way. You have higher chances with a brand new girl.

What I mean is talking to her and finding more about her.

What exactly are you looking to achieve? You want to take her to bed, or to be her buddy? If you act like her buddy, you will end up being her buddy.

Finding more about her will not help you take her to bed. Building some rapport is necessary, so that she feels some emotional connection with you. But two hours of face time building rapport is enough. No need to spend five dates finding about her, because you will be right in the friend zone by then.

What I don't understand is how do we balance between moving fast with women while not coming across as needy or creepy?

If you have been around a girl for months without taking action, that's where you are creepy. And if you have built all your expectations around her all this time, that's where you are needy.

The guy who moves fast does not come across as needy or creepy. Because he has two or three other date prospects lined up, and maybe a couple of girls he's already seeing regularly. So, he couldn't care less about failing this particular girl. Besides, he knows when he meets her that he stands 30 to 50% chance of fucking her in a couple of hours.

Think about it.

Seppuku

I definitely agree with you an all the points you raised especially when you mentioned that the guy who moves faster will most likely get the girl. I appreciate that you gave such a detailed answer.

I'll be starting uni in a few weeks and want to start meeting girls in this sort of environment.
If there was a girl in my class or a girl who we both have mutual friends. How would I go about asking her out?

How would the girl take it if I asked her out after our first ever interaction (assuming it went well)?

For me it's easier to move faster with girls who I've met on the street/cafe etc rather than the ones in my social circle.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey,

If there was a girl in my class or a girl who we both have mutual friends. How would I go about asking her out?

How would the girl take it if I asked her out after our first ever interaction (assuming it went well)?

For a girl from social circle, just make sure to ask discreetly. She's even more aware than you are of social reputation.

A typical pattern is:
* have a normal interaction
* build a little rapport
* ask her in a low key note, like no big deal, nothing formal.
* make sure you leave with her phone number.

If she says no, you don't flinch an inch, continue to have a little chat like nothing happened. Because you now want to leave the door open to ask her again, in like 10 days or so.

If she says something like "I will let you know" (a feminine classic), tell her "it's alright if you're busy, we can do another day" (i.e. you shut it politely on your term, rather than let her have leverage on you), and try again, in like 10 days or so.

If not successful by second attempt, you just drop it on focus on another prospect.

Seppuku

 

[ProblemSolving]

https://www.girlschase.com/content/why-m ... oving-fast

In seriousness though, generally moving fast is better.

My view of moving fast is that it's actually about calibration. You have to see how the girl is behaving and decide whether to move faster based on that. If she's super comfortable dial it up and move faster, if she seems hesitant or uncomfortable, slow down. Moving fast is something to do before you gain experience and understand how to calibrate to each girl-it's like training wheels for a bike. Since when we're inexperienced we're more likely to move too slowly, Chase teaches to move fast since that's what we're likely needing to improve on.

Couldn't have said it better.

You can definitely move too fast and you can definitely move too slow. Move too slow with a girl that is DTF and you most likely will never see her again. In her mind, she was being super obvious that she wanted sex, but when you miss the signals and don't close the deal, she feels like you rejected her and she auto-rejects to protect her ego.

On the other hand, if you move too fast with girls that aren't completely sold on you yet, your attainability plummets and she writes you off as a player that doesn't really care about her and is just out to get his dick wet. End result - ghosting.

Calibration is key. It's important to keep in mind that when you are inexperienced, you will be tempted to take it slow with every girl, not because the girl is giving signals of discomfort, but because your mind will try to convince you to play it safe. By moving fast, you will learn to calibrate a lot faster.