Is it just me or doing the main talking is the way to go?

[Zurb]

Hi guys,

Lately i noticed that guys who talk a lot, like doing 80% to 90% of the talking have way, way, WAY more success with girls and even with people in general.

Hell, i'm not even talking about good looking dude, those people are fat, smell because they barely shower, heavy dandruff and i won't even talk about their fashion.
Yet, they have success with girls, girls are even chasing some of them!

I was like, what the fuck how? And then i checked how they do, and basically all those dude do is doing 80% of the talking, smiling and somehwat being funny.
They don't have "game", they never "deep dive" the conversation, they never escalate.

I noticed the same pattern on natural alpha, they do 70% to 80% of the talking and they're fun, differences is alpha are more assertive, clean, take care about themselves, they escalate, etc...
Is that all you need to be successful at seducing girls? Talk a lot and being fun, that's it?!

What i don't understand is why in the RP or PUA community, most guide/articles on seduction (even on GirlsChase) tells you the do the main listening, even better, use the active listening!
Yet, in the real life and in my experiences in life so far, it's always those guy who never listen girls and talk non stop who get chased by them and have the most success, what gives?

 

[Chase]

@Zurb,

I would say that the better you get, the more of the talking you can and maybe should be doing.

At higher levels of seduction, you will often do a lot of the talking, yeah. There is research to back this up to... women in general rate as more attractive men they spend more time looking at and listening to.

The catch is that at lower levels you are usually not going to know what to talk about with girls. You will not have as much to relate to them on, you will not understand what women's likes and dislikes are, and you won't know how to make things interesting to them. You will usually see a results boost by switching from talking about all this random stuff to just getting the girl to talk and then relating back to her in key ways, inserting flirtation in there, telling some of your own stories here and there, etc.

At a certain point, you get a better and better idea about how to speak in ways that entrance and seduce people, and then you can go on long riffs that suck women in where you are setting a bunch of frames and the girl is just nodding along getting sucked into it. Broken up of course with getting buy-in from her, compliance, getting her to open up about herself / where you are deep diving her, etc.

I would also say... there are about 10% of beginners who are just naturally highly loquacious guys. The advice to focus on listening is not for these guys. These guys will usually have better results simply continuing to be loquacious, and just looking to fine tune that to what they discover works best for them with the women they're chatting to. Certain topics, routines, etc. Being sure they are mixing leadership/compliance/touch in with what they are doing, and not JUST talking, and so on.

If you're at the point where you feel like you know what you want to talk about with girls, and you have stuff you're excited to talk about with them, and when you talk about them you can tell they get attracted, then you should definitely be using that, as opposed to keeping your lips zipped when you'd rather be speaking.

Once you know what to say, and it's calibrated to suck women in, that is usually going to serve you better than having the woman talk more.

(even once advanced though, you will run into girls who are motormouths... you will run into girls who are bursting at the seams to open up to someone about their life to... and you will have times you go out where you are tired or lazy or do not feel like talking. For these instances, knowing how to get the woman to do most of the talking and still lead her to bed anyway is a big life saver)

Chase

 

[DarkKnight]

@Chase would you say that a big part of talking a lot is to make women feel "allowed". Effectively leading, by talking, to take them out of their little shell.

 

[Searcher]

Gary vaynerchuk for the win.

On a serious note though, by talking a lot do you mean being a bit philosophical or just plain sharing stories that make you look good (This might come across as bragging if you start sharing without relating it to someone's topic or without them asking).

What's your say on this?

Also @Chase would you consider yourself as someone who does most of the talking in seduction?

 

[Chase]

@DarkKnight,

@Chase would you say that a big part of talking a lot is to make women feel "allowed". Effectively leading, by talking, to take them out of their little shell.

It seems to be more that women do not really know what to say to a guy, and if they just talk they meander. The male needs to lead the courtship ritual. If the guy is leading and saying a bunch of interesting things, it showcases confidence; the stuff he's saying also showcases social aptitude, and whatever else he DHVs in the course of the stories he tells or knowledge he displays.

It is also simply more normal for leader-follower situations to consist of the leader speaking while the follower listens, and women are attracted to leaders, and do not want to be leaders themselves.

That said, there is definitely an element of making the girl feel allowed to do things with you by talking... "Well, I didn't make any of the decisions, and didn't even really have time to think; I was just listening to him and he was so interesting and then we ended up back at his place!" That is harder to do when she does more of the talking, because then she has to do more of the thinking (unless you are directing her talking carefully, so she is only thinking about what you want her thinking about and you are handling all the rest).


@Sully,

On a serious note though, by talking a lot do you mean being a bit philosophical or just plain sharing stories that make you look good (This might come across as bragging if you start sharing without relating it to someone's topic or without them asking).

Only if it's philosophy of interest to women!

@Teevster's stuff on sexual philosophy is good here.

Otherwise, yes... tell stories... use routines... use sex talk gambits... cold read... make playful banter... role-play with her... there are a million things you can talk about with girls where you are doing the lion's share of the talking.

Also @Chase would you consider yourself as someone who does most of the talking in seduction?

I can tell you this:

1. If a girl is quiet and smiling and letting me do most of the talking, that's an excellent sign
   
   
2. If she is very talkative but lets me lead things and just tells me whatever I ask while acting entranced by me (laughing at my flirtations, flirting back, accepting my chase frames, etc.), that too is an excellent sign
   
   
3. However, if she is talkative but resists me leading the conversation, ignores my flirtations and chase frames, and is not otherwise compliant, and I can't easily get her to shift, I will prefer to bail rather than waste time. My conversation is not polarizing the way a guy who goes ultra-direct is, and since I am not SOI'ing her throughout I need to be careful to avoid women who are just enjoying an engrossing conversation with me but for whatever reason aren't trying to bed down. You can change these girls with enough time and work a lot of the time (if she's willing to keep talking to you, that gives you a lot of time to try all your tactics and strategies on her... and I have a lot), but most of the time IME it isn't worth it unless you REALLY like her look or something else about her.

Chase

 

[Zurb]

Thank you for you answer @Chase , it's pretty eye-opening!

Lucky be people who are naturally highly loquacious because this is SO incredibly powerful, i have a coworker who's doing eye-contact with ME because he is a pussy when he's talking to girls, but since he is like that and fun, he still attract more women than me.

Yet i'm going to the gym 5 days a week, have good and fit cloth, smell nice, good haircut etc... and he's morbidly obese, don't shower (room stinks when he come in...), don't shave and cut hair himself, etc... this shit is that powerful.
Listening is the hard mode, being highly loquacious and fun is the easy mode IMO.

Should i learn to be like that to progress to advanced level ? I'm naturally a non-talkative person and sadly not a very funny guy, can't make someone laugh even if my life depend on it.

Gary vaynerchuk for the win.

On a serious note though, by talking a lot do you mean being a bit philosophical or just plain sharing stories that make you look good (This might come across as bragging if you start sharing without relating it to someone's topic or without them asking).


Also @Chase would you consider yourself as someone who does most of the talking in seduction?

Peoples i'm talking about, they mostly talk about themselves and never about philosophical topic, most of the time it's "oh yeah i usually do things like this because when i was younger my teacher told me blah blah blah..." with a big smile and some joke, that's it, no eye contact, no escalation.

 

[Chase]

@Zurb,

Thank you for you answer @Chase , it's pretty eye-opening!

Lucky be people who are naturally highly loquacious because this is SO incredibly powerful, i have a coworker who's doing eye-contact with ME because he is a pussy when he's talking to girls, but since he is like that and fun, he still attract more women than me.

Yet i'm going to the gym 5 days a week, have good and fit cloth, smell nice, good haircut etc... and he's morbidly obese, don't shower (room stinks when he come in...), don't shave and cut hair himself, etc... this shit is that powerful.
Listening is the hard mode, being highly loquacious and fun is the easy mode IMO.

Should i learn to be like that to progress to advanced level ? I'm naturally a non-talkative person and sadly not a very funny guy, can't make someone laugh even if my life depend on it.

Peoples i'm talking about, they mostly talk about themselves and never about philosophical topic, most of the time it's "oh yeah i usually do things like this because when i was younger my teacher told me blah blah blah..." with a big smile and some joke, that's it, no eye contact, no escalation.

You've got to look at what results a guy is getting, not just his reactions.

Reactions from Women, or Results with Women?

I intended for this to be a shorter post, since I’ve put up a few long ones in a row and I didn’t get much sleep last night as I’m still rocking a jet lag (so much for my claims to not be affected by that… it’s good though, I’m waking up early in the morning and cranking on stuff I want to work...

www.girlschase.com

Hyperverbal guys will get a lot of attention around them and can often have some real flash-dazzle-looking game, but it doesn't necessarily mean they're any better at making things happen with girls. A lot of hyperverbal guys are good at getting girls clustered around them, but eventually the entertainment ends and the girl wanders off. That's because there's a lot you need to be doing besides just speaking: you need to be getting buy-in... building compliance... having her tell you stuff about herself so she can feel bonded to you... you need to sexualize the interaction... create isolation... just a whole bunch of stuff beyond running a mouth.

Some hyperverbal guys will learn this stuff, and those guys can slay, but a lot of them rest on the gift of gab, don't learn what they need to be consistent, and instead just go around talking a whole lot to everyone, occasionally finding girls who are wowed enough by what they are saying or are attracted enough to their fundamentals that they can coast into a lay.

The thing to understand about self-focused hyperverbals (those guys who talk a lot about themselves) is that they are always ENTERTAINING but they are very hit-or-miss in terms of CONNECTING.

One of the primary things you need to sleep with a woman is trust. If you fail to establish trust, she will not feel comfortable listening to you, complying with you, going anywhere alone with you, or accepting your reasons why she should overcome whatever reservations she has about you. The primary way you build trust pre-sex is with attitude-similarity (one of the three parts of the "one date" SAC model). You almost always need a back-and-forth with the girl to build similarity, because you have to find out what her values and attitudes are and show her how hers align with yours and vice versa. The hyperverbal guy who only talks about himself will once in a blue moon stumble on a girl who just naturally syncs up with the attitudes he is expressing with his verbosity and says to herself, "Wow, we are so much alike!" and then presto, he's got trust with her and laying her will be within reach. But most girls will just listen to what he is talking about, not connect it to themselves, and leave saying, "Wow, that guy sure is a character! How entertaining!"

I used to coach guys alongside a hyperverbal seducer. He was a great guy, and had some brilliant tech... not knocking him in any way. We'd take guys out to clubs, and my partner would have throngs of girls gathered around him, and the students would all be wowed. I was wowed when I first met him... he had some real razzle-dazzle game. But at the end of the night it was always me pulling girls from the club, while he was at best leaving with a few numbers. At one point he asked me if I could teach and demo to guys how to isolate and pull girls from clubs because they were asking about that but he couldn't teach it. So it ended up being that he would work with the newbie guys who needed to get over approach anxiety and start getting comfortable with girls, and I would work with the more advanced guys who needed help consistently isolating girls and pulling them from the venue.

So don't feel like you need to become hyperverbal to get girls.

Being quiet or being hyperverbal or being of average verbosity is not really something you can change; it is by and large just how you are.

There are some girls who are really smitten with hyperverbal guys; there are also girls who find these guys really annoying. Likewise there are girls who like and other girls who dislike guys of basically any degree of quietness or verbosity.

Our longest tenured phone coach, @Cody Lyans, is a "quiet guy." He teaches quiet guy game. @Teevster described him to me once as "Nobody knows what he is doing to get these girls, but somehow he just gets them." A lot of his game is just straight up nonverbal and when you talk to him you can tell he's a quiet dude. Still pulls plenty of girls.

The most important thing for succeeding with seduction is tailoring a method that works with your default personality.

That doesn't mean you don't change or adapt yourself or "fake it till you make it" on things like frame, confidence, etc.

However, the stuff you cannot permanently/realistically change, like level of verbosity, you should really be seeking to build your game around, rather than try to adopt something very unnatural that requires a total overhaul you won't like making and likely cannot maintain.

(also... the last thing you want as a non-hyperverbal guy is a long-term girlfriend you got running your pumped up hyperverbal game, which you then drop once you're in the relationship because it's too hard to maintain because it's not natural to you... except that your girlfriend is most attracted to hyperverbal guys and now you're no longer what she's most attracted to )

Chase

 

[Skjöldr]

for me it depends on how my chemistry mixes with the girl, but generally speaking i do most of the talking because im leading the seduction mostly and also im very self-amusing.

 

[nolimits]

@Chase

Would you say the same holds true when the goal is being one of a group’s most respected characters ?

I know you often mention you don’t need to be the leader to get girls but in order to be respected in a group of guys I think at least knowing that you can Be the leader if need be is a useful thing.

In my opinion those who speak the most in male groups are the most respected. Talking ‘ a lot’ is also a self fulfilling prophecy because if you’re socially attuned it forces you to keep engaging others and learn calibration.


Also , about all this big discussion we had on the forum of street stops not being worth it unless you’re advanced etc.. what’s your take ?

I’ve started to worry about having a good meet to lay ratio lately and have stopped approaching… but I feel worrying about the ratio is not useful once your ratio is of course good.

like if you need to talk to 100 girls on the streets in order to fuck 3 of them.. yeah worry about the ratio.

But to me worrying about the ratio limits your overall lay quantity and as a consequence quality as well.

To end this discussion…

What’s a good ratio to strive for in day game provided you go for girls you really like ?

is 1:12/17 a good one and past which point should you worry about it ?

I think we should never forget that rejection and failure is often the price for greatness

 

[nolimits]

for me it depends on how my chemistry mixes with the girl, but generally speaking i do most of the talking because im leading the seduction mostly and also im very self-amusing.

Yeah same for me with almost every girl on the planet.

I’m a naturally talkative guy and whenever I speak less I feel like my self esteem is not maximize

When I’m on state I am definetly more talkative if you know what I mean.

So it makes sense to try and replicate that feeling at all times , kinda like tony robbins teaches.

Of course the caveat is to get compliance on the frames you set when being talkative


But if you do that - that’s great.

For ex. If on a street approach you start talking and talking and the girls laughs and listens that’s compliance to me. And it certainly is good.

Plus. when YOU are doing the approach - it would be weird to expect a girl you approach to do more than 20% of the talking.

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

@Zurb,

I would say that the better you get, the more of the talking you can and maybe should be doing.

At higher levels of seduction, you will often do a lot of the talking, yeah. There is research to back this up to... women in general rate as more attractive men they spend more time looking at and listening to.

The catch is that at lower levels you are usually not going to know what to talk about with girls. You will not have as much to relate to them on, you will not understand what women's likes and dislikes are, and you won't know how to make things interesting to them. You will usually see a results boost by switching from talking about all this random stuff to just getting the girl to talk and then relating back to her in key ways, inserting flirtation in there, telling some of your own stories here and there, etc.

At a certain point, you get a better and better idea about how to speak in ways that entrance and seduce people, and then you can go on long riffs that suck women in where you are setting a bunch of frames and the girl is just nodding along getting sucked into it. Broken up of course with getting buy-in from her, compliance, getting her to open up about herself / where you are deep diving her, etc.

I would also say... there are about 10% of beginners who are just naturally highly loquacious guys. The advice to focus on listening is not for these guys. These guys will usually have better results simply continuing to be loquacious, and just looking to fine tune that to what they discover works best for them with the women they're chatting to. Certain topics, routines, etc. Being sure they are mixing leadership/compliance/touch in with what they are doing, and not JUST talking, and so on.

If you're at the point where you feel like you know what you want to talk about with girls, and you have stuff you're excited to talk about with them, and when you talk about them you can tell they get attracted, then you should definitely be using that, as opposed to keeping your lips zipped when you'd rather be speaking.

Once you know what to say, and it's calibrated to suck women in, that is usually going to serve you better than having the woman talk more.

(even once advanced though, you will run into girls who are motormouths... you will run into girls who are bursting at the seams to open up to someone about their life to... and you will have times you go out where you are tired or lazy or do not feel like talking. For these instances, knowing how to get the woman to do most of the talking and still lead her to bed anyway is a big life saver)

Chase

Excellent analysis Chase... I know you love to give movie and TV personality examples


Anyone you think would be a great person to study regarding how to talk more in a way girls enjoy?

 

[Zurb]

@Chase,
Thank you for your reply, once again it's very eye-opening and i feel better with myself now being the quiet guy.

 

[Chase]

@nolimits,

@Chase

Would you say the same holds true when the goal is being one of a group’s most respected characters ?

I would say to being one of the group's most active and top-of-mind characters. Respected is a bit different.

e.g., you're in a big group with a really cool, powerfully built ex-football player who always has a hot girl with him but doesn't socialize much and is a bit on the quiet side. He's not totally standoffish; you've chatted with him a few times and he has a good sense of humor. But all-in-all you feel a little intimidated by him, as do most of the folks in the group. Meanwhile, there's another guy in the group who talks all the time, who is constantly telling stories and joking around. Sometimes he can honestly be a bit much, but he always makes people feel included.

Who's more respected, vs. who do you feel more comfortable talking to, approaching, and hitting up over text to invite to parties?

That's not to say a talkative guy can't also be one of the more respected members there. Though in my experience the most talkative guy is rarely the alpha of the group. Talkative people are usually too busy being butterflies to be managing / maintaining a group, except under certain circumstances (e.g., talkative guy is a teacher-leader, leading a group of students... talkative guy is the boss... talkative guy has surrounded himself with fans / kiss-ups... etc.).

Also , about all this big discussion we had on the forum of street stops not being worth it unless you’re advanced etc.. what’s your take ?

I would say... depends how we're defining 'street stop'.

If we just mean the full frontal policeman stop, I did not attempt that one many times until I was already advanced, and I've never had beginner or intermediate students do it. Instinctively it feels like something less experienced guys should be avoid, unless they're naturally very confident guys who think they can pull it off, then maybe. But not having the experience doing them when less experienced, or throwing students into that fire, I'm speculating.

If we mean approaching girls walking on the street by coming in from the side or a slightly less "full blast" angle, in my experience beginners struggle with these, but they work fine for intermediates.

So if you want my advice:

1. Beginners should focus on stationary women
2. Intermediates can start working in approaching from angles
3. Advanced guys can do the really ballsy in-her-face approaches and still pull them off

But, as always, experiment, especially if you're curious about a thing. Maybe you'll find you can make it work!

I’ve started to worry about having a good meet to lay ratio lately and have stopped approaching… but I feel worrying about the ratio is not useful once your ratio is of course good.

like if you need to talk to 100 girls on the streets in order to fuck 3 of them.. yeah worry about the ratio.

But to me worrying about the ratio limits your overall lay quantity and as a consequence quality as well.

To end this discussion…

What’s a good ratio to strive for in day game provided you go for girls you really like ?

is 1:12/17 a good one and past which point should you worry about it ?

I think we should never forget that rejection and failure is often the price for greatness

I think it's a lot more helpful while learning to set yourself lay count goals instead of meet-to-lay goals. Meet-to-lay ratio is a useful tool for figuring out where you're at and how much room you have to tweak your approach, but it's also highly dependent upon the kind of approaches you're doing, where you're doing them, what kind of girls you're going for, how you are targeting and how good your targeting is (a very skilled guy will notice all kinds of "I'm open to meeting someone" signals a woman is putting out that lower level guys will not notice at all... he will also notice "do not talk to me" signals lower level guys will not notice or barrel past).

A lay count goal is "I'm going to lay one new girl per calendar month" or "Two new girls per calendar month" or "One new girl per calendar week" for N months (or maybe for the rest of the year). You will do as many approaches as you need to to get there. You can use meet-to-lay to diagnose whether your approaching could be more efficient, and zero in on better styles and venues for you (e.g., maybe you're 0-for-73 at Club X, but you're 2-for-17 at Bar Y, over the same period. Bar Y is obviously a much better venue for you, and you should look for more venues like that, and probably avoid those like Club X).

So: lay count as your goal to aim for, meet-to-lay ratio as your tool to refine.

1:12 or 1:17 sounds fine. I know guys are talking about 1:5 or 1:3 but these are very advanced guys with dialed-in game who know their venues, know women's body language very well, and don't make many mistakes (the 1:3 ratio is also being discussed as happening on runs).


@PaulieFlyn10,

Excellent analysis Chase... I know you love to give movie and TV personality examples


Anyone you think would be a great person to study regarding how to talk more in a way girls enjoy?

I guess the problem with movies is they're made for entertainment rather than education. So you will see juicy bits of dialogue but you don't often get to see the whole pickup.

There was a pretty good extended pickup in the post-apocalyptic movie Hostile (of all things). I was pretty surprised they had that in there, I was just expecting some shoot-em-up desert monster survival action. Hot girl walks into art gallery owner's gallery, and art gallery owner decides he wants her, overcomes a bunch of her resistance, and pulls her home. Then he botches the escalation back at his place... it's all really well done.

I'm a big fan of Val Kilmer's turn in The Saint. There's a lot of dialogue in there, especially in the second pickup. I modeled a lot of my early style off that role.

There's a lot of good seduction dialogue in Vicki Cristina Barcelona. A lot of Woody Allen movies, in general, feature good dialogue / pickups.

Then there's The Moon Is Blue, which was basically a two-hour-long pickup. That's great as well, with a lot of banter and overcoming resistance in it.

Also, the German film Victoria (2015). That's a good extended pickup/seduction movie with a lot of solid dialogue in it.

Any of those should get you going!

Chase

 

[nolimits]

So if you want my advice:

1. Beginners should focus on stationary women
2. Intermediates can start working in approaching from angles
3. Advanced guys can do the really ballsy in-her-face approaches and still pull them off

That’s interesting.

i consider myself an advanced (4-8) girls a month on average when I’m single, yet i find the policemen a little cheesy to say the least.

that is of course different story if your street stop is more of a subtle front stop - meaning you cross path with the gal and gently touch her shoulder right on that moment. Almost look like you approach from the side.

You can use meet-to-lay to diagnose whether your approaching could be more efficient, and zero in on better styles and venues for you

Very solid logic.

I’ve used the meet to lay ratio lately to asses where I’m at and found out that 90% of the street approaches I’ve converted into lay where the ones where I was dressed well, rather than in gym clothes ( I have to be dressed in fitness clothes most of the day for business reasons ).

This improved ratio on street approaches when well dressed is also true for reactions I get, not only for lays.

i still have to make 10 street approaches to finish this test, but….

….my feeling is that rejections are almost never harsh when you dress very well and target decently (avoid talking to girls who look angry and walk really fast - who are lower probability in my opinion. And always talk to girls who give you eye contact when you walk past ‘em on the street)

I do have a question : with street approaches where I dress well what happens is I get quite a bit of numbers and then get no answer at all.

could that be because I only spend 2-3 minutes with these chicks ?

is spending 3-5 minutes on those approaches enough ?



Also, on street approaches, what could be some approach invitations worth mentioning ?

for me the main approach invitations is a girl giving you eye contact - at least in the street. If you walk past a girl and she looks at you, that can be a sign she finds you attractive.

Of course girls who are smiling at you is another invitation. But even if I smile the way you recommended it in an article, I live in a city where people just don’t smile that much on the street, so the reciprocation is far from being guaranteed.

Another invitation I have found to be reliable is a girl who does not walk fast. But in big cities they aren’t that common ahah.

What do you think ?

Would be curious what the other guys who’ve done a lot of street approaches have found to be reliable approach invitations.

 

[nolimits]

Anyone you think would be a great person to study regarding how to talk more in a way girls enjoy?

In terms of mindset, I like interviews with Dan biltzerian.

he has that masculine vibe and player mindset that are being shamed by some members of society and that it is vital to keep as a man.

Also, he is dominant and unapologetic. Good fundamentals.

certainly not the most elegant individual on the planet but tons you can learn from him.

 

[Chase]

@nolimits,

That’s interesting.

i consider myself an advanced (4-8) girls a month on average when I’m single, yet i find the policemen a little cheesy to say the least.

I don't like it for going direct. Feels too forced / practiced IMO. I imagine there's a way to make it natural though... with the right performance.

However, it's very useful as a directions opener. I make the heaviest use of it in unfamiliar cities. Just to make it natural, deliberately don't research where anything is, then force yourself to street stop women to ask. The policeman stop is perfect for this, especially on less crowded streets (e.g., "looking... looking... looking... oh hey! Hold up there! Do you know where XYZ is?").

It's also useful at night, where you don't want to spook a girl... this way she can see you smiling and looking polished and well dressed and not be startled (any nighttime approach is going to be a bit performative, so the cheesier aspect of it doesn't really hurt you here).

I’ve used the meet to lay ratio lately to asses where I’m at and found out that 90% of the street approaches I’ve converted into lay where the ones where I was dressed well, rather than in gym clothes ( I have to be dressed in fitness clothes most of the day for business reasons ).

This improved ratio on street approaches when well dressed is also true for reactions I get, not only for lays.

Well, in that case, I imagine you'd want to keep a change of clothes on-hand!

i still have to make 10 street approaches to finish this test, but….

….my feeling is that rejections are almost never harsh when you dress very well and target decently (avoid talking to girls who look angry and walk really fast - who are lower probability in my opinion. And always talk to girls who give you eye contact when you walk past ‘em on the street)

Yes, it's due to the authority figure effect. Guy in very nice clothes = someone who may be a person of power and influence.

She doesn't know for sure, but she assumes you might/must be, based on how you're dressed. It will tend to make her more compliant, and warier of doing things that might put her on your bad side (you never want to piss off the guy who wields power).

I do have a question : with street approaches where I dress well what happens is I get quite a bit of numbers and then get no answer at all.

could that be because I only spend 2-3 minutes with these chicks ?

is spending 3-5 minutes on those approaches enough ?

Due to the same effect.

If a guy of power and influence asks for your number, you'll give it to him, even if you don't really plan to meet this guy again.

Random dressed-down guy wants it, and if you're not interested in meeting the guy, you can just say no.

IOW, dress down and you filter better for girls who just want you for you.

Dress up, and you get the "potentially an authority figure" bonus points, but you're also filtering less well because some of the girls who are complying do so just because you're an authority, not because they're attracted.

Also, on street approaches, what could be some approach invitations worth mentioning ?

for me the main approach invitations is a girl giving you eye contact - at least in the street. If you walk past a girl and she looks at you, that can be a sign she finds you attractive.

Of course girls who are smiling at you is another invitation. But even if I smile the way you recommended it in an article, I live in a city where people just don’t smile that much on the street, so the reciprocation is far from being guaranteed.

Another invitation I have found to be reliable is a girl who does not walk fast. But in big cities they aren’t that common ahah.

What do you think ?

Would be curious what the other guys who’ve done a lot of street approaches have found to be reliable approach invitations.

Yes, eye contact's the most obvious/common one. Either laser eyes where she locks on hard, or multiple glances, where she makes eye contact, then looks away, then looks back and makes eye contact a second time (or third).

If you can get her to smile back, that's good. You will also see girls slow down after seeing you. Sometimes a girl will see you, then stop somewhere in your path before you reach her, acting like she is reading something or checking her phone. Or girls who were on their phones but on seeing you stash their phones away. Girls fixing their hair after eye contact with you.

Emphatic snubs are a counterintuitive one. e.g., the girl you make eye contact with, who then EMPHATICALLY tosses her head up, like she's a super snob, dramatically rejecting you. That is actually an approach invitation. Girls who aren't interested aren't that emphatic... at best they may sneer or roll their eyes. Emphatic head tosses are invitations aimed at men who really like to pursue a girl who seems/feels hard to get. When you approach these girls, they will act half-intrigued, half-standoffish on the approach, because, again, they have tailored themselves for those guys who very much love the chase.

Hector has more in his day game course, Meet Girls Everywhere... not sure if you have that (we're rereleasing it most likely in May) -- he has a list of come hither signs and an alternate list of "fuck off" signs girls give during day game.

Chase

 

[nolimits]

Due to the same effect.

If a guy of power and influence asks for your number, you'll give it to him, even if you don't really plan to meet this guy again.

Random dressed-down guy wants it, and if you're not interested in meeting the guy, you can just say no.

IOW, dress down and you filter better for girls who just want you for you.

And thanks for the answers chase, always some interesting takes.

Personally though I would rather get 3 numbers that lead to nothing than getting 3 harsh rejections.

Wouldn

IMO your chances are still higher with the dressed well mode because of momentum, self esteem me and also because even if some of the numbers u get aren’t solid ones, maybe you’ll convert 7% of them.

Being dressed stylishly also gives her a reason for plausible deniability… ( picture her saying ‘he was dressed so well - when she talks to her friends …

I’m not saying we should overdress - but you get my point.

NoLimits

 

[Chase]

@nolimits,

Yeah, I didn't mean to knock dressing up (rereading, it looks like I'm coming off that way).

I at minimum will wear a button-down shirt going out pretty much any time other than when it's blisteringly hot out.

Whenever I have even half an excuse to throw a blazer on, I will.

People just treat you better when you're dressed up nice.

Also, while you might get more flakier numbers, the fact that more and hotter girls will more easily/reliably say "yes" to your date requests and give you their contacts when dressed up is, like you say, great for mood and momentum, which counts for a lot.

It's just a lot easier to chat up women when you know you can probably expect a warm reception.

Chase

 

[Tim Iron]

And thanks for the answers chase, always some interesting takes.

Personally though I would rather get 3 numbers that lead to nothing than getting 3 harsh rejections.

Wouldn

IMO your chances are still higher with the dressed well mode because of momentum, self esteem me and also because even if some of the numbers u get aren’t solid ones, maybe you’ll convert 7% of them.

Being dressed stylishly also gives her a reason for plausible deniability… ( picture her saying ‘he was dressed so well - when she talks to her friends …

I’m not saying we should overdress - but you get my point.

NoLimits

Hi, could you please share like 5 images that you think are sexy business casual attires?

 

[nolimits]

Hey man,


I tend to dress in a more fashionable way than in a casual business attire tbh.

more like a Kanye west / Justin Bieber and also some of the lastest Adam Levine looks ( the oldest were not good at all ).


like this

Adam Levine Appears, Maroon 5 Performs On 3000th Episode Of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" (Watch Now)

"The Ellen DeGeneres Show" celebrates a very special milestone Thursday: the broadcast marks the show's 3000th episode. The episode naturally has a

www.google.fr

But for casual business study Daniel Craig and David Beckham.

Those should get u going