Online & Apps Is online dating worth it?

[Estate]

So what do guys here think of online dating?

Does it have its merits?

I've actually found myself to be reasonably good at getting numbers and dates from online dating. A good few years ago I actually met the girl I've had my longest ever relationship with online. She was stunning in looks, a really great person. Basically she was a student at the time and just wasn't getting out much. No baggage, no nothing. Great girl.

I've met one or two others who've been pretty good but not great.

Besides that I just seem to meet some many girls I'm either not attracted to but have nice personalities or well.... that's it really...

The quality of girls there just doesn't seem great. I'm not sure if that gives an accurate impression of what girls think of me or if it just makes it a bit off, since you'll actually get shot down sometimes by pretty mediocre girls given the whole process is a little weird.

I don't know really. Is it worth keeping my hand in it for practice or other options or is it generally just not great? What do guys here think? I mean, is it possible that a girl who isn't interested based on your 1"x1" picture online could actually be quite attracted to you if you got out and met her at a bar for example?

 

[A Life Loquacious]

It's definitely worth it although the overall quality of women can vary according to location. I get good results from dates in bigger cities, the girls tend to be more genuine, more 'up for it' and not pinning their hopes of finding 'Mr Right' on a website. You have to put up with more flakes than girls you've met in 'meatspace', however.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hi Estate,

I don't know really. Is it worth keeping my hand in it for practice or other options or is it generally just not great? What do guys here think? I mean, is it possible that a girl who isn't interested based on your 1"x1" picture online could actually be quite attracted to you if you got out and met her at a bar for example?

I think you could leave your one of your hands there literally, but then focus on other options by meeting women. Day Game, Clubs, Pubs. I find women on the streets tend to be more beautiful than clubs. However I tried online on facebook, not for me though, i can't get the success there as much as i wanted. I just set up online dating on some websites, experimenting there though.

Zac

 

[Estate]

Yeah, that's the thing.

I'm actually reasonably good at getting numbers and dates online and I went through a phase late last year where I just used it to go on lots of dates for practice. A first date doesn't really make me nervous now as it would have before.
But I walked away from most dates thinking "meh".

While I did meet one great girl online a while ago now. I've met a couple of other pretty girls but their looks was really all they had and from their personalities you could tell why they were single.
Besides that it just a giant pool of girls who probably are not asked out much in "real life" or have lots of issues or other things going on which I feel is cause for them being single.
I don't know. I kinda keep hoping it's not all bad. I'm not even complaining about lack of replies as I get lots, but it's the lack of quality that's making the whole thing suck.

I might just leave the profile up but not really focus on it too much anymore. I feel it was good to get the experience of more dates but I'm not meeting the girls I want on it, even in a not so small town.

I think maybe it creates the perception of an artificially small pool of girls in your city. I'm looking right now and after filtering down to the "actual" qualities I like in someone, I've gotten like 10 results appear in my city... and of those, I'd say 2 of them would be more than a 6. I know it's not that bad in the real world but it's obviously tougher to meet the 8,9,10's out there.....

... I guess thats why we're here though, right?

 

[A Life Loquacious]

It's a tool in the arsenal, nothing more. Definitely not worth pinning all your hopes on. But if the weather's too crap to go out for day game and budget's a bit tight for going out clubbing or whatever, it can be useful. I've given up using the 'scattergun' approach of messaging *all* the girls in the area because as you say, they tend to be a bit 'average' in terms of looks, personality, social skills etc. There are, however, genuine hotties out there too, and I have had a few good dates that have made the whole thing worth it. The difference is nowadays I only ever bother opening women who (a) are attractive to my eyes and (b) have genuine common interests on their profile. I don't get as many dates but the quality is also better.

I find if you use OKC a lot it pays to change your profile often. Even if you basically say the same thing but paraphrase, it pushes your profile further up the listings and you get more women visiting you. Once they've visited you they tend to be more likely to reply, or so it would seem.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

But I walked away from most dates thinking "meh".

That's probably a good thing... as it is the start of abundance mentality in some ways. Also interesting that usually the dates where I was thinking 'meh' as I walked away, she would always text/message back to set up a follow-up... Sometimes I'm tempted to go back just for the sex, but unless you're feeling massively horny at the time there never seems to be that much point, haha.

 

[aliparpar]

Yeah, that's the thing.

I'm actually reasonably good at getting numbers and dates online and I went through a phase late last year where I just used it to go on lots of dates for practice. A first date doesn't really make me nervous now as it would have before.
But I walked away from most dates thinking "meh".

While I did meet one great girl online a while ago now. I've met a couple of other pretty girls but their looks was really all they had and from their personalities you could tell why they were single.
Besides that it just a giant pool of girls who probably are not asked out much in "real life" or have lots of issues or other things going on which I feel is cause for them being single.
I don't know. I kinda keep hoping it's not all bad. I'm not even complaining about lack of replies as I get lots, but it's the lack of quality that's making the whole thing suck.

I might just leave the profile up but not really focus on it too much anymore. I feel it was good to get the experience of more dates but I'm not meeting the girls I want on it, even in a not so small town.

I think maybe it creates the perception of an artificially small pool of girls in your city. I'm looking right now and after filtering down to the "actual" qualities I like in someone, I've gotten like 10 results appear in my city... and of those, I'd say 2 of them would be more than a 6. I know it's not that bad in the real world but it's obviously tougher to meet the 8,9,10's out there.....

... I guess thats why we're here though, right?

Yeah, that's right. Usually the girls on dating websites tend to be rather average quality and lower than what you're looking for. Otherwise, they wouldn't be checking in these websites since they would be busy with other guys in their real lives than trying to find one online. There are exceptions though.

My suggestion is to have this dating profile as just your way of practicing and having fun finding new girls rather than finding your quality girl. Or try to make your profile in a way that weeds out average girls. [ Read Chase's post on online dating : viewtopic.php?f=25&t=43]
Sit down and write down what qualities exactly you're looking for in your girl and to what intensity are these qualities are important to you. Try to have a good tolerance to broaden your search results. I'm pretty sure you should know by now some of them having some experience with your dates .
(For example : My quality girl is independent & Intellectual and have a good sense of fashion. I prefer skin tones white to light dark with any hair colours. But, if she doesn't have a travelling experience or any art skills it's not going to decrease my attraction towards her since she has those main qualities I'm looking for. )

Then, you can easily identify these type of girls among others, online OR offline. Afterwards, try to research where you have a better chance of meeting your quality girl offline - (Meaning in your daily life rather than online) - and try to meet new women in those places.
For your online game though, I suggest finding out what your quality girls would be interested in and filter using interests in your refined searches!
It's not easy work but helps a lot!

A helpful example:

"If She likes the taste of beer She likes to party and have fun! - As dating website OkCupid found in its famous analysis of website data "The Best Questions for a First Date," the onlycorrelation for women between the answer to any question and whether a girl said she'd have sex on the first date or not was for the question, "Do you like beer?""

Read more: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-p ... z2GwGVhg3a


Good luck!
Ali

 

[Altimeter]

I've chased women online, Facebook, connected2me, deviantART etc.
Here's why its not worth it:

The effort you put into online dating is insane. Think of hardcore World of Warcraft players and the number of lays they would get. Using online dating you're probably gonna get 3 or 4 more
It's almost like a fulltime job, with lots of investment and not so great results since the profile pics and the actual person are never the same

There's a lot of question marks and doubts about your value hovering around Facebook.
Getting her Facebook or email, lay possibility 30%
Getting her phone number, lay possibility 50%

Why 50? You got her number! Everyone gets face but now you can have a very simple short conversation or text leading into the two of you meeting up to do something. Where as Facebook usually is like Hot babe's friend marks,... see I've good 60 kills yesterday 60 more perv's want pics of me bouncing my tities or like and tell me how brilliant I am after reading my poetic hipster comments.


Just man up and ask, Women love men who act like men and sometimes when you say stupid shit like I'll give you 200 bucks if you cut every women's pubes in the hair saloon shaped like my name's first letter. Used it today the girls went wtf and kept staring and smiling at me and now Im going out with one of them

 

[A Life Loquacious]

I think this thread is more talking about using actual dating sites, i.e. women who are consciously putting themselves out there rather than migrating 'street pickup' techniques over to Facebook and other social networks. I'm sure that can work though. I've also met women at parties who've seen and liked my posts on mutual friends' walls even thoguh we didn't have a direct connection.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Facebook also has the tendency to involve drama between friends sabotaging you, and also women.

Trust me on this, girls saying Hi to me with my name and exclamation mark, for no reason on my photo with other girl friends. and some girls claiming i am their boyfriend. I heard it from my friends, i was like "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!"

Crazy stuff.

Zac

 

[aliparpar]

Good Article by one of Chase's Friends :

http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2012/11/08/d ... #more-1306