@TheDapperHippie,
No one technique is absolutely 100% mandatory. Generally speaking, you can always find some guy who does well without using X individual technique.
However, some form of push/pull is endemic to almost every style of game I have seen. Even the most basic form of flirtation adolescents do the moment they hit puberty usually employs it: "You're cute, but I don't know if you're my type!"
So it is one of those things you want to be real careful before dismissing out of hand.
And this:
To be honest with you, I think the core reason why I hate disqualifying the girl is cuz I have a fear that she won't wanna continue talking to me. Like she's gonna lose interest if I pull away/disqualify her or myself.
... is about the clearest sign you're going to get that you ought to be using this tactic.
You ought to be being more of an asshole in general:
If you've paid much attention to the men that women gravitate towards, they're pretty much all assholes. Yeah, sure... deep down, they may actually be good guys. "An asshole with a heart of gold", for instance. But, they're still assholes. If you yourself are not an asshole though, adopting some...
www.girlschase.com
Not because that's the end goal. But because you need to push the limits on what you can get away with and confront that fear of scaring people/women off if you want to be able to operate with finesse and
without that fear.
Imagine this: you've got a date lined up for four nights this week. And on Saturday you have a date in the afternoon and another in the evening. If things go well on the first you'll have to flake on the second. You have an active social life, with more party invites than you can accept. And a group of cool buddies. You're on a good run right now, sleeping with a new girl every 3-4 days. It's not usually
this hot, but it's been steady like this for about 5 weeks now that you've been real active.
You meet a girl. She's pretty. But not any prettier than the girl you slept with two nights ago, or the ones you've got dates lined up with this week.
Now imagine how you'd interact with her.
The way you'd interact with a woman in that circumstance (where you are living in an abundance of women) is the way you want to interact with women
always.
You may be screening women for their looks, physiques, age, body weight, etc.
They are screening you for your behavior.
Specifically, they are screening to find out if you behave like a man that women are attracted to, pursue, sleep with, and try to hang onto in a relationship, or if you're not.
Right now you are behaving like you're not.
You
should be behaving like you
are.
I live in Orlando, FL & it's not bad but you'll only ever encounter an abundance of women during nightgame. Practically no true cold approach daygame opportunities here (cuz it's a sprawling suburb). That said, I'm making the best of it.
It sounds like you should be doing nightlife then.
Even if it's only great on the weekends, you can probably carve out a decent nightlife regimen other days of the week.
e.g., salsa Tuesdays, ladies' night Wednesdays, thirsty Thursdays... figure out which venues are holding weekly events in your area and draw crowds. The venues with halfway savvy marketers will usually be competing to figure out ways to draw crowds on the off-nights. Some of them generally will succeed. When I'm in a new town and I want to learn the nightlife, if I can't find anyone to show me the ropes, I will just hit up different venues on different nights until I stumble upon the ones that are good on any given night.
As for day game, looks like a few suggestions here:
A dating and pick up guide for Orlando helping you meet girls at clubs, singles bars, or online and filling you in on great spots for your date night.
worlddatingguides.com
From the article:
====
We mentioned how the UCF campus doesn’t have a ton of nightlife for singles right by it, well it is still a massive university with well over fifty thousand students in attendance. Parks, cafes, and streets in that area can be great for day game.
Or you can always visit the old reliable when trying to meet girls in Orlando during the day, by that we mean shopping malls like:
- The Florida Mall
- The Mall at Millenia
- Lake Buena Vista Factory Stores
- Orlando International Premium Outlets
- Orlando Vineland Premium Outlets
====
Do you think since I feel that way, then I'm gonna have a hard time getting the girl to chase? Cuz that's what disqualification entails really (getting her to chase) & like you said, the girl has to want talk to you & want to interact with you after the initial approach.
Women chase when they feel uncertainty.
Last night I had a drunk girl I met in a pizza parlor chasing/propositioning me without using any kind of active disqualification on her at all. I wasn't interested (if you saw her, you likely wouldn't have been either), however, and that came across in my nonverbals, like what
@West_Indian_Archie is talking about. Because it came across that way, and she wanted me, she had no choice but to chase.
I'll do that with girls I'm actually into too. No verbal disqualification, but you disqualify them nonverbally, by showing signs of disinterest, and it drives them nuts and they chase you and feel like they have to conquer you.
The thing for you is... are you at a point where you can do that?
If you feel needy, it is going to come across in your nonverbals.
You need to work on having less needy nonverbals, while also toying around with push/pull.
Do you have any suggestions then for light qualification techniques? Cuz I really hate disqualifying the girl/push-pull. Whenever I encounter girls who're my type 100%, I just wanna shower them with affection & show them a really good time (I know Papi/Hector has said that he's an affectionate guy & showing affection has worked for him) but that contradicts disqualifying the girl you know?
Why don't you try some very light, classic-style push/pull?
Try this with 20 girls:
"Oh my God, you're a [SOMETHING] girl, aren't you? We would never get along! We'd always be fighting!"
For instance:
- "Oh my God, you're a neat freak, aren't you? We can never date, because you'd always be yelling at me to pick up my socks."
- "Oh my God, you're obsessed with animals, aren't you? It would never work between us. I'd be grilling steaks and you'd be there trying to save them."
- "Oh my God, you're an outdoors type? We could never date. Every weekend I'd be trying to sleep in after a long week of working, and you'd be setting the alarm for sunup and jumping around the room yelling at me to get up and hit the trail."
Try this with 20 girls, then see how you feel about it once you're done.
I
guarantee you are going to have some really fun interactions come on the heels of a quick little bit like this.
And once you do, you'll have seen how using a little disqualification on even a really hot girl suddenly gets girls you were afraid might run off to be a lot more interested in you (and even
qualifying themselves to you) than they were before you did it.
You can do it.
It feels weird now because you're not used to it.
Once you start using it, and you get some really warm, positive receptions from it, the way you feel about it is going to shift.
Chase
