Is settling normal? Could it even be....Healthy?

[Average]

So I've been doing some overthinking lately and I couldn't help but remember that chicks in my primary school used to date each other. Now....I avoided doing this because I knew that relationships would be unrealistic at this age as they wouldn't last very long. And as I grew up I always thought that that was the right thing to do because the younger you are, the more mental shit you gotta work through.

then it hit me......

Not only do guys have messed up minds with shit to go through, but so do women.

For my entire life, I've had the mindset that I shouldn't get into relationships unless my mind is at the pinnacle of health, but I've always known that it wasn't and may very well never be. And so, looking around I'd see these GUYS AND GIRLS DATING and assume that they must have gotten their shit together pretty fast!!!!! When the truth is, we have all made mistakes, we are all still making mistakes, and we will always continue to make mistakes.

Now, after overthinking and looking back at all of the paradoxical mindsets that I've been through, I have now asked myself:

Is it okay for two people who aren't the BEST VERSIONS of themselves YET to get together?

I've always felt that answering that question with a yes would break some moral code, but now that I look at it consciously and with the idea of:

walking away if it gets TOO toxic
walking away if there are more bad memories than good

I can't seem to figure out why that would be a bad thing to do. Especially since that's how people end up growing socially as well. Because they settled for the current version of a person and decided to experience the dating world with them. This is probably how naturals did it themselves as well.

Any perspectives?

 

[Smiling_Stray]

Hey Ash, I'm now pretty close to finishing off my high school education and looking back now I would say most of my relationships so far have taken place in my high school years. Although I'll admit I'm pretty shit when it comes to relationships lasting much longer than a month. Then again, I've also had more than both my parents combined in those years alone (granted I never actually get the chance fully settle in my relationships since they don't last as long as what most people's do). But my reasoning behind this is pretty simple: Lack of experience and knowledge.

I mean, it's a lot like when I first started reading GC. I had no experience with approaching women (let alone taking them to bed) and I didn't even know how to.

Generally speaking it's better to have a relationship that doesn't last long so that you can at least get the experience and maybe even learn from it so that the next one is better than the last. Who knows, she might just end up being the one you really settle with and have a family or whatever your version of settling is (not everyone is all about the family life with the white picket fence and all, but i've found that to be the common one to come to mind). Whether or not it works really a role of the dice where your chances are better depending on your experiences and what you know.

Is settling normal? Is it healthy? Well, I'm not a doctor or anything so I can't say it's healthy but I can say most of us (or at least I did) started reading and practicing GC because we're looking for that someone we may eventually end getting hitched with (marriage). Then again there are a few of us who really have no interest in this just yet (or at all) and are just looking to have one hell of a night. So yeah, I'd say it's normal for the most part. But I'm also seeing a lot of guys getting hitched in college and later changing their minds (probably because they didn't realize they're missing out some experiences life has to offer).

So my idea of the whole settling thing is to get to the experience you need to know enough to get a girlfriend or wife in the first place (and might want, for example some guys might want to experience what it's like to sleep with a different kind of girl, have an orgy, or whatever suits your fancy that marriage frowns upon! XD ) then settle but it takes trial error to get there. The way I see it, Seduction is really a game of probability. GC really ups our chances but can't really guarantee (nothing can, there's just so many variables that could result in a failed attempt but GC helps us deal with them more effectively so they don't get in the way).

You know what I mean?

 

[Average]

yo wanderer,

Yeah, turning it into a learning experience. I like that. Especially since there's a lot to go through, so reading everything and hoping it'll all spark together wouldn't really help much. There are some things that only experience can bring and wisdom sure is at the top of the list.

Thanks for the input