jackoftades819 Newbie Assignment

[jackoftades819]

Gave up on pick up a few months ago and I'm trying to get back into it. Hopefully I can follow it through this time. I will try this one day at a time but I anticipate getting stuck at the points where I actually have to talk to people. I have borderline Asperger's syndrome so if anyone has advice regarding overcoming some of the limiting mindsets, I'd appreciate. I'll post about the first day soon.

 

[jackoftades819]

Day 1: jackoftades819 Newbie Assignment

Day 1
I'm a freshman living on campus so nightclubs and bars are not an option thus nightgame is not for me. So I have been on campus for a whole semester now so I have a pretty good idea of the places that get traffic. There is a Barnes & Noble near campus which is not too far for me to get to but only slightly inconvenient. I wouldn't normally go there unless I need to buy something there so I don't know how often I'd go there to pick up girls. Then there is the gym, I go there almost every day and see a lot of attractive women but I have a lot of reservations about doing pick up there. Could just be my anxiety or whatever, but I wouldn't have it be my primary pick up spot. There is also a large dining hall that a lot of people go to, which I visit frequently, and then I'd have to worry about approaching girls sitting with friends or in solitary. Finally, my least favorite place, the street. This where I did my approaches before I quit for a few months. I still seriously doubt that a stranger flirting with a random girl on the street pans out well, but I guess I'll go along with it.

 

[jackoftades819]

Day 2: jackoftades819 Newbie Assignment

So this day was focusing on posture. This is stuff I'm mostly familiar with since I have some back problems and it was brought up in therapy, but I gave this day's assignment a shot anyway. I am aware that people with straighter posture come across as more confident and secure and how adopting that posture yourself makes you feel that way. I know that bad posture gives off insecurity and such. I tried the better posture and I did not notice any difference in the way people reacted to me. As always, no woman gave me a passing glance and I did not notice people suddenly giving more room to walk on the sidewalk. The posture may have been hampered due to me carrying a heavy messenger bag all day, but I would expect the same results. I try to improve my posture anyway just for the sake of my back. Any change in mood brought about by the change in posture was fleeting.

 

[jackoftades819]

Day 3: jackoftades819 Newbie Assignment

So making eye contact with strangers wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. I made eye contact with about eleven people, mostly people I passed on the street. The majority who made eye contact with me were men, who were usually the first ones to break it off, but I noticed something different with the women. Either they'd have their eyes downcast by the time they came within my proximity or they would look down as soon as I glanced at them. I figure that it either means they are being submissive to me and attracted to me or I just have a creepy stare going on. I figure the latter is more likely. The eye contact with everyone didn't last any more than a few seconds and it seems like a really easy habit to get into.

 

[jackoftades819]

Day 4: jackoftades819 Newbie Assignment

So just saying hi to girls proved to be difficult. It was really hard to work up the nerve and not make it appear awkward. So most of the ones I said hi to were hired guns. Still felt really awkward about it. Even with just saying hi, I was constantly making excuses to myself to not do so. I'm apprehensive about the next few assignments.

 

[jackoftades819]

Day 5: jackoftades819 Newbie Assignment

So I didn't say "how's your day going?" to six girls all on the same day. It was rather spread out over the course of a week. Probably defeats the purpose of the exercise but I think I still improved. It helped me look for opportunities where it would be natural to say the phrase like on the elevator or exiting class. I think it would be weird to stop random girls on the street to just ask how their day is going but that could be me just making excuses. My approach anxiety is still very much a problem since I still find myself making excuses to not talk to a girl. But all in all, I realized it's really initiating that causes me anxiety since I feel perfectly comfortable with the actual conversations. I really hate small talk.

 

[jackoftades819]

Day 6: jackoftades819 Newbie Assignment

So I didn't do this day's assignment for about a month because of approach anxiety (pathetic, I know). But I figured I could count this field report as an approach even if it wasn't a cold approach. viewtopic.php?f=5&t=16182. So it turns out I have a lot of self-esteem issues and I'm probably seeking validation from other people to make myself feel better. I'm so terrified of being judged and of being seen as creepy even by strangers. I know part of this has to do with my depression but hopefully I can put myself out there more.