Josh's Domain

[theemann31]

My Goals Recently:
1. Improve my Fashion Fundamentals and take advantage of the fact that it is Christmas and I've been away from home at college for a full semester and my parents want to reward me for a first semester of good grades with buying me clothes to "keep me warm" (make me look more sexy) when I get back home in Miami to wear up here in Michigan.
-However, with my limited wardrobe now, whenever I: Coordinate colors, and fabrics with layers, walk with a sexy swaggering walk, and hold a small sexy smile on my face, Girls and guys alike take notice and look at me and once in my studio, a few designers from Ford stopped by and basically looked at me above all my other friends as the alpha male (above the others just because of my posture and voice resonance). So progress with my fundamentals is helping me

2. Become a better conversationalist and become more sexy with women.
-This is a tough one but over the past few days, I've begun talking more and more with guys and girls alike and I have begun imagining every girl I find remotely attractive (I have very low standards) naked and rubbing their naked skin on mine and I have become far more turned on by most every girl that I meet. And just in general I'm taking more chances by talking to girls I find attractive

3. NEW GOAL! Don't let the girl go and push for sex
- Imagining girls naked and up against me has made me super horny recently, so my newest goal is to always try my best to persist at least 3 times to have sex with girls, whether that's for a number, for a date or escalation, etc.

Approaches
These will be brief

2 Days ago with Diane
- I saw a borderline gorgeous socially awkward Architecture Major girl talking at the front desk of my housing complex, she gave up the conversation and saw us coming (my immature friend and I), gave us kind of an oh shit look and tried to open the door before swiping her ID to unlock it, she looked at us and my friend and I giggled at her and she kinda looked down embarassed then quickly swiped the card opened the door and sped up ahead of us, I shouted to her that everyone fucks up sometime but she ignored it. My friend and I part ways and I see the girl trying to get into the elevator(staring at it pensively) so I tighten up my posture, smile and approach

Mecrossing behind her back) Hey hello, how's it going
Her: (fumbling on words) huh? uh, how are you? (I stare at her for a second)
Me:fine
Her: Its just so cold outside
Me:Yeah, it get's that way this time of year, so where you coming back from? (trying to maintain eye contact with a warm smile to relax her)
Herwe walk into elevator together and she goes into the corner farthest from me and kinda presses her back into the wall) I just came back from my Creative Writing class, we had to write a short story about christmas
Me: Ah (spread a smile) So are you passionate about Creative writing?
Her: no, I really like Architecture, that's what I major
Meslowly spread a massive smile accross my face) That's fantastic! It's awesome to meet a fellow designer (I extend my arms for a hug and approach her)
Herbacks further into the corner) Oh, what major are you?
Me: Trans design (I persist for a hug and she gives me one, we reach my floor and I bid her farewell and leave)

I asked for her name at some point in there, but yeah takeaways, persistence works, some girls (even the most beautiful ones like Diane) fuck up and get really shy and nervous and embarrassed around new sexy men and I have to grab a number in cases like this one, I was setup for a deep dive with an easy path to relate but gave up for whatever reason, so next time grab a number or go to her room (she was fine as fuck)

I think I talked to another girl that day but can't really remember and whatever I did, I did not number close

Today
Trying to break out of my shell of fear of talking to strangers, I go to the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn with some of my friends, we bring our sketchbooks and I practice my sexy walk in my best clothes (a denim jacket with a light gray button up and some red skinnies with denim boat shoes) and get some looks from others, then I break away from my friends and begin to draw some of the cool cars I see in my sketchbook and several people approach me, most of which are women.

-about 3 dudes approach and we chat about my artistic ability and I turn it to them and their lack thereof and what they do that is creative
-2 well dressed black ladies approach me and I stop them after their compliment with a smile and a question about them and we talk for about 4 or 5 minutes about myself then I flip it to them with a cold read/ compliment on their sense of style and involvement in the fashion industry, turns out they are just social workers enjoying the museum for a day
-I move to another location to sketch some race cars and a small asian lady approaches me cautiously, I detect her presence then engage her in conversation about who she is and her life, I find she is a chinese banker from ICBC Bank who is in town on a business trip who loves the Motor City and its Automotive Culture and History and one or two more things that I can't remember, then I let her bounce
-An old lady approaches me and asks me if I've ever considered a career in car design, I tell her that i have and that I have and also am attending college majoring in it, I deep dive her on how she knows about car design and she opens up telling me about her life in Cali at some large Automotive company, I find out some more stuff about her then she gives me some contact info to her girlfriends son who is a creative designer at GM, and I give her mine and she says she'll shoot him an email to get us in touch and after about 12 minutes of conversation she bounces. My friends come and question me on why I'm talking to that old lady
-My friend decides we'll eat dinner at his place, so we hit up a small grocery store, my friends turn their back on me in the store, I see the lady behind the counter of the florist section is cute so I hit it up to approach her:

Me: Hey, what kind of... plant, would look good in a .... small dorm?
Her:You're thinking something low maintnace right (I say yes), well then you'll want something blah, blah, something green, we have some snake plants here an..
Me: Snake Plants! why are they called that (trying for a sex frame here)
Her: I don't know, that's just it, blah blah, ( she shows me around her section telling me about all the plants nearby)
MeI decide to start a deep dive) So you seem really knowledgeable about plants... How long have you been working floristry?
Her: About 3 years now
Me: nice... so you must be studying something...uh... science related in college then right
Her: You'd think, but I'm studying business
Me:Nice! (at this time my friend finds me and decides to cockblock and starts trying to talk to me so I introduce him and he immedietely runs off as he hates anyone he doesn't know) yeah, so where do you study
Her: University of Michigan, I used to live at the Dearborn campus but now I'm gonna move to the Ann arbor Campus
Me: (Ready to fire off a sex frame of her moving to where she heard all the cute guys are, I notice my friends standing a few feet away staring at me intently talking to a cute girl I just met and I get freaked out a bit by them) so... uh... why... move?
Her: I just think it's better, i'm definetly not going to party more or anything. (I become more interested in her now and she asks me what my major is and cold reads saying I must be a junior, i say no I'm a freshman and she calls me a baby, and I'm like come on, what's up with that, she recoils, I get her to say more to me then my friends stand by the door waiting for me)
Me: I guess my friends are waiting for me now, It was awesome meeting you (I extend my hand, she looks at it, shakes it then says a farewell and we depart)

My friends fucked me up there and then tease me about talking to too many girls in one day... (at least they don't think I'm gay anymore) So takeaways would be what the fuck am I doing not going for a number here, or not sex framing at all here. It's like I just made dinner for myself then threw it away without eating it, I put in the work to deep dive her and missed sex frame oppurtunities then didn't even close out, she was a bit older but whatever, I should've at least tried, I didn't imagine her body naked but did get excellent eye contact and am really getting out all of my anxiety.

I can't fucking wait until I get back to Miami for Winter Break where it's warm and I can go to the beach and the malls and the streets to cold approach the girls here to better my skills without being hindered by my immature friends and probably even lose my virginity.

 

[ray_zorse]

Solid approaching bro. I'm definitely subscribed. I think I could take a lesson from you in persisting at least 3 times, for some reason I tend to do a whole lot of shotgun approaches and hardly ever persist past refusals, so thanks for the read
cheers, Ray

 

[theemann31]

Hey Ray Zorse, thanks for reading that, I'm glad your'e subscribed

I'm finally getting the fuck out of Michigan! Today I fly back to Miami for Winter break
The name of the game nowadays is to start using some different conversational techniques such as Pull-push, disqualify/qualify, challenging frames, Active Listening, Statements of Genuine Interest, Better Deep diving questions, Cold Reading (the Zphix way) and a few others as well as starting to use incidental touch. I'm confident now that I can hold a platonic conversation with any girl for upwards of 10 minutes, and now is time to advance on to more

1 Approach so far today- walking on the way to take my math final exam I saw a girl I thought I knew and decided to engage her and practice at least one technique

Me: (walk next to her) Hey what's your name?
Her:I'm McKenzie (threw me off a bit, I thought she was this other girl (Dorie) I talked with for like 10 minutes last night alone in the washroom)
Me: Oh, I'm Josh, I just haven't met you yet.... and thought I would
Her: Oh cool, I like meeting new people too
Pause
Me:So what are you doing here McKenzie (I'm trying to say girls names more often to them)
Her: I'm studying Architecture Interiors here
Me: Hey, It's awesome to meet fellow designer here
Her:What design do you do here?
Me: I'm in the Trans Design program (normally I talk about myself or ask her what she knows about the program, but I've found that that leads nowhere, so I trudge on after she responds)
Her:Oh Trans, cool I've heard that before, I know a few people there (I don't pursue these people because it won't help us connect)
Me: Nice, so McKenzie how'd you get into Interior Architecture?
Her: Uh, well in High school, my teacher went here studying this, so I asked about it, I got to like it in high school then decided to come here just like that!
Me: So you got into Interior Architecture because you had a high school teacher who inspired you to go into it?(My first Active Listen)
Her: Yeah that's it!
Me: Actually, that's sort of how I got into trans here, my high school offered a program and I discovered it that way

We talk a bit on how these are esoteric programs that if you haven't been exposed to them you won't get into them

Me:So McKenzie where do you want to go with Interior Architecture?
Her: I want to graduate and get a bachelor's in it and design buildings with it
Me: (Diving In) So what exactly do you want to design? Are we thinking McDonalds interiors or homes for people?
Her: I like more homes and interiors
Me: so why do you like homes
Her:I just like the idea of designing houses for families
Me: I gotcha, would you design super high concept minimalistic interiors or what?
Her: No, I like more Victorian traditional homes and the likes (I ask why) Because they've just always appealed to me and I grew up in a family back home with a house like that
Meforgot to active listen) nice, what was home like? (I moved to this hook)

She mentions some stuff about her home that I forgot but then mentions that she worked at a camp

Me: what did you do at work?
Her:I worked at a camp (at this point I realized I was running out of time to practice another convo technique, so I decided on qualifying and was basically in my head trying to force myself to use it as I was pretty scared for some reason)
Me: So McKenzie...you are really well versed, and nice...do you ever travel? (Kinda didn't make sense but there I did it and now have a reference point)
Her: No, but I really wish I did (I wanted to chime in that I do too but I felt I'd be talking about myself and not relating if I did)
Me: so where would you go if you could?

She mentions Canada, I probe why and she says it's really peaceful and that she has a friend there
I chime in and try to relate with a story
Me: It really is peaceful there, a few weeks back, my friend and I took a mini road trip up there, it's just 30 minutes away and a small toll fee, but there we were passing through a residential area and this little kid saw us driving by, my friend drives a Crown Vic that looks like a Police Car, and the little kid did a WeeWoo WeeWoo (police siren Imitation) and it was the most pleasant thing
Herat this point she starts going up the stairs to the 3rd floor but I'm on the 2nd she wasnt that cute so I didn't number close) Cool, uh...
Me: Well it was nice meeting and chatting with you
Her You too Josh

And we parted ways, looking back at that, it was basically an interview and we chatted alot about facts and not enough about her emotions and feelings towards much of anything so that must change. The Active Listening is Good and I must use it more as I got a better understanding of her and I felt we connected more when I did. The Qualify was pretty cool, I used it a little wrong, but still when I gave her the first part about being nice and well versed, she turned and looked at me and smiled and then quickly answered my question when I tried to get her to qualify, so I must use that again.

Overall, I'm so used to nice guy conversation that I don't know how people will react when I start using Chase's Techniques. What if I neg hit a girl? What if I disqualify her? What if I probe deep into her emotions? i don't have all the answers and am a bit scared to try to find out but, the worst that can happen is i'll kicked in the nuts or hit with a purse so... I shouldn't really fear anything, either way, I'm trying to get experience with everything.

 

[theemann31]

I've been procrastinating to post these for some reason.
Airport and Plane Approaches 3x

Vanessa
I arrived at my gate and saw a few cute girls waiting on the same plane as me, and after about 4 minutes of hesitation I finally walked over to and opened a really sweet girl (next time, sexier walk over and don't make Eye Contact before you open the way you did)
This was at least a 25 minute interaction between us two and we found out alot about each other with alot of pauses and deep diving, and she ended up becoming like a big sister to me and not a lover
What I did: I did deep dive her on plenty of topics including what she is studying and why leading to her background of having a working class family from a third world country that essentially is going from rags to riches moving all around the US from Columbia as they improve their life. This led to how life was in Columbia for her which really led no where to a bunch of other shit. So a few times I zoned out and missed important stuff she said and couldn't active listen on it and I tried sex framing and qualifying/disqualifying her on not spending enough time having fun. I got into some interesting sex framing where I said she lived at the Ann Arbor Campus for all the cute guys, she said she has a bf but I persisted saying she still has her needs in a long distance relationship and she basically agreed with me and I changed topic so I must continue using this.
Also, she says she does travel alot and I asked her how many times she has guys approach her and she told me this is the first time it's happened ! She was very cute and I'm surprised at that

Mary
Probably the Cutest girl I've seen in many weeks
I sat next to her on the airplane on purpose to talk to her and she really wasn't all that receptive and here I learned that not all girls are as well put together in terms of passions as Vanessa is. Basically, I tried the neg hit and she just went with it
Me:I must say, I love your hairstyle
Her:Thank you
Me: It almost looks like you did it inside a wind tunnel
Her:....Yeah, I did it right under a jet engine
All in all, a pretty awkward interaction with little done well, I tried to deep dive but she kept closing off and looking away and not answering me with good answers, so I'm now thinking of a way to talk to a girl who doesn't respond well to any of the common topics. About an 8 minute interaction there

Lindy
Kinda cute stoner girl
I sat down waiting for my connecting flight then she came and sat next to me so I just opened her up with a How are you? I'm Josh opener and we had a platonic pleasant chat about how she isn't really that passionate about anything in her life and how she's just going to take it all as it comes, I asked about her sorority and found out she gets drunk and high alot and basically wastes her parents money in college... I guess this is the downside of deep diving as not everyone is positive

The Prevalent Problem here is that I pick the wrong topics to talk about and it is next to impossible to connect with someone over something they don't give 2 shits about. So I guess the next goal is
-Have solid 3 or 4 minute conversations with girls where I
-Have them choose the topic (1-3 topics) by asking what's going on/making them happy right now in life? or What they're most excited about now? or any of the basics on travel or passions and Dive in
-Qualify the girl with verbals and escalate touch to show interest
-Relate to what she is saying very briefly then CEMENT how we are the same and that she is interesting/fun
-Sexually frame her and speak to her on a sexual level and reassure her she can open up to me
-Give her 1 final qualify on what I don't like about her but the good that makes up for it then number close

Basic shit but this should lead to a dense 4 minute convo that hopefully will leave her wanting more, I will try this today or tomorrow on some females

 

[theemann31]

I seem to be making the same mistakes over and over again as I approached a girl today and got a very similar rejection to one I got in the past

Casandra
I was out clothes shopping with my mom when I went into a fitting room and while leaving ran into a little cute latina and sparked up some conversation

Me: Hey, I guess it's all full in there (we chit chat about the full fitting rooms) You know I must say, you have really cute earrings
Her: (smiles) Thanks
Me: I'm Josh
Her: I'm Casandra
Me: (we talk about what she's doing in the mall for a minute) So where are you in life right now, are you in college?
Her: Yeah, BC
Me:Cool, what are you studying?
Her: I'm studying to become a pharmacist
Me: That's really cool, so you must be a really caring person then
Her: Yeah... I guess so I am, I just enjoy it (she mentions something about Pharmacy)
Me: So why are you studying to be a Pharmacist (she mentions something about enjoying helping others) So you say that you want to become a Pharmacist because you want to help others and make them feel better?
Her: Yeah, that's it I want to take care of them, I would become a nurse but I don't want to touch them because I may hurt them (I share a brief story about my mom who's a nurse and how she is very careful with her patients to prevent injuries)
Me: (I notice she is holding a Victoria's Secret bag) So you did some holiday shopping for someone there
Her: Yeah I did a bit of shopping for myself
Me: For a special guy, your'e really going to surprise him, right
Her: No, I don't have anyone that this is for, it's just for me to wear... (she kinda looks down)
Me: Oh well, I'm... (I notice a room just opened up in the fitting room) you know I have to go try on some clothes now, but... (I gather up my courage to ask her out as now I felt nervous) Let's get together and grab a bite to eat later this week or next and talk
Her: oh, sorry I don't go out with guys I don't know much about, I'm gonna have to say no (she was trying not to hurt my feelings)
Me: Well, the only way that we can get to know each other is to get together and talk
Her:No, I'm sorry
Me:Oh ok, thats cool Casandra (I smile and shake her hand and say bye)

So I'm thinking now that I need to spend more time talking to the girl and sharing just a bit more about myself to them, only the things that relate to what she is telling me and maybe cover a few more topics about her life to relate back to and throw in some kind of tactics other than qualifying to make her feel more emotions when she's with me and move closer to her and touch her and use stronger eye contact.

Man, there's nothing like getting brushed off by a cute girl to let you know how much more improvement there is to be made, but I think I need to go back out to the mall and approach at least 10 girls and number close them all while practicing some more techniques to see just where I'm really at in cold approach. My goal really is to get 1 date before the end of winter break

 

[theemann31]

Yesterday I got caught up at the gym and got a ride in the evening to the mall for just a short period of time but decided I would still try to make at least 1 approach and I made a few

I felt really a-social when I entered the mall and didn't want to talk to anyone but it all changed when I entered a small soap and lotion shop and opened up an old lady asking for her opinion on fragrances, then I opened a really pretty employee there and had her take me all over the store showing me products, then I opened this high schooler and we chatted, then I spoke to another employee for a bit then I went to checkout something for my mom and genuine interest complimented the cashier on her hair curls and the color fade in them then bounced and in like 8 minutes I felt super social... so the moral there is lots of social interactions can help with feeling more up to chatting strangers

The only true approach other than those were when I was in H&M with my bro and I saw this girl who looked like a model straight out of Maxim and immediately approached her with NO anxiety

Me:Hey (she doesn't hear) Hey there, (she looks) do you know any good outfits that would look really sexy on a muscular guy? (I said the first thing I could think of)
Her:No, I really don't know how to dress guys so I can't really help you there
Me: (I noticed her foreign accent) Hold up, you have a really cool accent (she thanks me and some guys start to take notice what I'm doing) where are you from?
Her: I'm from Columbia (I should've made a cold read on how she must be really self driven and passionate based on the other Columbians and South Americans I have talked to)
Me: Hey, that's really cool, so what are you doing in Miami?
Her: I live here
Me: oh, so how was life so far away in Columbia, I know it must have been tough living in an impoverished nation (at this point she was closing her body away from me but I just thought fuck it, I'll persist)
Her: No, it was actually pretty nice there (I could've pulled a Chase Amante here and told her that she had piqued my interest and now had to tell me more)
Me: Ah yeah, I bet you lived in a pretty nice part there, you were probably treated like a queen and protected (trying to say something to get her interest back... but no dice)
Her: ...uh huh
Me: (I could've persisted but just thought fuck it I'm out) Well alright then, what's your name by the way?
Her: I'm Paula
Me: I'm Josh
Her: Well it was nice to meet you Josh

I can't believe I didn't feel nervous at all with her... but anyway I did a good job with the follow up to the opener and there was a point where she stared me down in the eyes and I just held eye contact until she looked away, I normally don't hold it but it's good that i did, I should have gotten a bit closer to her despite the fact that she was way taller than me and requested compliance from her in any way, but probably 4 months ago I would have been so creepy and nervous that if I did open her she would have ran away, but good fundies saved the day there

I need to go out and have a ton of approaches where I get good eye contact, touch, smile more and hold a better convo not worrying about techniques or anything, just staying in the moment

 

[theemann31]

I have been actively approaching recently, I've gone out on 3 outings to the mall in a week in a half but I haven't posted any of them yet, I'll just post a little bit on the most interesting interactions

Mariana
Inside an H&M store I saw a cute Venezuelan girl and tapped her shoulder from behind, smiled at her and told her she had a really cool Micheal Kors purse, told her my sister loves those and asked where she got it then introduced myself and she followed suit.
Then I asked if she was a Miami native to which she agreed telling me that she was from a city about an hours drive away and this is where i decided to cold read her, "So, I've met a few South American girls and they all tend to be really driven and passionate about succeeding in something they love, what are you passionate about?"
She told me interior design and I hugged her telling her its awesome to meet a fellow designer then asked where she wanted to take interior design and she gamed me a bit being really intriguing and not revealing her plans to me, we chatted a bit more about the college she goes to, I asked her age and she was 28 (I'm 19) then about a few words later I felt the interaction flagging so I tried to get her to invest by staying silent and holding eye contact with a smile, but no dice. She offered nothing and I shook her hand and left.

Luxury Purse Saleswoman
Inside of Bloomingdales (or some other store) I walked to the back of the store and saw an empty luxury handbag booth with this fine hispanic texting on her phone so I walked over and approached.
She looked up from her phone, I smiled at her and asked her to tell me what is trending right now in purses and she walked me over to a few and told me some stuff about each and i tried to tease her on one when she told me that she had only sold 2 of those purses and I told her that maybe it's because she's a bad saleswoman (said with a smile) and she laughed.
Then I held really strong eye contact with her and tried to deep dive her on her life outside the store asking how she spent her spare time outside of work and she didn't really give me much until she told me that she wanted to study to become an RN (Registered Nurse) and I asked about where she wanted to go with that and we just kept staring into each others eyes and I would smile then she would and she just kept the smile on, I accidentally cornered her into a space between a display where she led me and a wall but she looked totally comfortable and not threatened or anxious being that we were totally alone in a corner (thank you fundamentals). It seemed the more I held eye contact the more tension was building (it was building slowly)
then conversation began to slow and then it stopped and we just held eye contact then I asked if she was single,
"are you single"
her:"yes...I mean no!, um I'm engaged (she looked a bit disappointed)
I motioned toward her hand and she had no engagement ring on and she agreed and said yeah, I don't have one... then she just stared at me more and I felt this vibe from her that she wanted me to stay with her but I began to leave because I was done here then. And as I said goodbye she just kept staring and I feel her gaze on me as I walked away... Maybe I should tease girls more and hold eye contact longer like 10+ seconds long

This one Hurt
Still in Bloomingdales I saw a cute white girl testing perfumes out smiling, so i went over to her, stopped for a second then turned and opened
Me: You have really nice nails
Herlooks at me out of the corner of her eyes) thanks, I really do appreciate that
Me: I'm Josh, let's chat for a bit
Her: I'm NOT interested (she doesn't even look at me and continues sampling perfume)
Me: Oh, well okay then, have a happy new year
and I left, this threw me off pretty badly and I ended up wandering the mall passing pretty girls and not opening because I felt like shit and that no girl would be interested in me...that was the worst rejection I've ever got and that ended the outing for me

 

[windsofchange]

I like your style of journaling. You write out details from past interactions and places where you've made mistakes so that you know what to fix. You've got another reader.

Guess that last girl was more interested in perfume than you at that point and time. A tough hit to take, but you will come up stronger. Look forward to seeing more from you.

 

[theemann31]

Quick observation, Sunday night I went to a large design show hosted by my college where a ton of car designers and Heads of Design and Design Chiefs and super high ranking men all gather to network and check out my colleges talent. Us the students, even a freshman like myself,were encouraged to strike up conversation with these very powerful men standing in groups discussing their business.

Funny thing is, none of my friends had the courage to walk over and talk to any of these guys, they would tell me how that guy is the head of exterior design at Jaguar and that guy over there is the Vice President of Design at GM and they wouldn't go over and talk for some reason. But of course, I've approached beautiful girls many times and felt very little anxiety so I went over and struck up conversation with a few guys
-Head of Advance Design at Chrysler
-Head of CAD 3D Models at Chrysler
-Chief of Interior Design at Chrylser
-2 Dudes from Ultrasuede who were the biggest sponsors of the event
-Head of Audio engineering at Panasonics advanced concept studio
And because of my deep diving skills and strong fundamentals (posture, eye contact, basic conversation skills) I was getting business cards shoved into my hands and I was offered an internship 3D modelling at Chrysler

So the observation here is that it's weird how it is easier to cold approach design executives who hold so much power over my future and that I should be intimidated by, compared to cold approaching some cute girl at the mall who holds no power over me and is not nearly as intimidating as these high status guys.

Pretty weird huh? but in other news I tried to flirt with this girl I met last semester named Diane and her girl friend whose name starts with a D and I did successfully but didn't get contact info from. I just asked how their breaks were, asked a bit about their majors then framed them as crazy wild girls because they don't live on a dry floor in housing and must get drunk all the time, then pointed at Diane's friend and said she looks a bit tipsy right now and they both laughed but did not retaliate (the friend is cute but shy).

They live 2 floors up from me and I don't really know how I can get together with one of them without the other, they stick together everywhere all the time. I'll have to find a way and number close next time I see them.

MY goals for now are to just get a car, learn to drive on snow, then go to other college campuses and spots around south east michigan and cold approach girls with a technique similar to NarrowJ or PrettyDecent or Zphix, with teasing and sex frames. I really need to lose my V-Card already

 

[theemann31]

Went on a trip back to Miami to recruit students at my old high school and I ended up talking to tons and tons of people and got further and further out of my fear of new faces. But overall I had to report one aspect of an interaction from the day.
I saw one good friend who graduated with me for the first time in like 10 months and struck a conversation and just started fucking with her with some flirts and frame challenging until I hit on something kinda cool
Me: So you still do that uh (rowing motion)
Her: Yeah, I still do sailing up there
Me: man, that must be so much work, sailing and studying furniture design at the same time
Her: Yeah, it is soo much, I have blah blah fucking blah and I have so little time and work so hard
Me: Gawd girl! So you (I repeat back what she just said to me) You have such a strong work ethic to juggle around so many different things all at once. You've got to tell me, what's your secret?
Her: Well, I've always blah blah fuckity blah blah fuckity fuck fuck blah and (she pours her heart out for like 25 seconds straight about her views on her most personal views on life and passions)
Me: (slowly spread a smile with strong eye contact) you....are.....such....an admirable person (pull her in and we hug then stop and share huge smiles) where was this side of you when we were together for 4 years?

We banter for a bit longer then she is so enamored she offers to video chat me later on in the semester to keep in touch.

But lesson there would be to not only challenge what girls say and tease and sex frame and what not to give them a hard time, but also to go deep into the conversation with them by
-having a genuinely warm and caring and open vibe
-having them slowly open up to you. going deeper and deeper while you relate emotions and probe...until
-she says something super deep, you feed it right back to her, give her a sincere compliment then ask one final open ended philosophical question like what's your secret, then no matter what shit flies out of her mouth, you smile at her, hold that damn eye contact and give her a super genuinely delivered compliment then grab her and pull her in for a big hug then use a bit of humor afterwards

That shits magical

 

[PrettyDecent]

Damn man, yeah, that took me so long to figure out - don't just game her, but actually take time to be interested in and enjoy her! All girls (and guys) want to feel like they're interesting and enjoyable, you just gotta bring the enjoyable and interesting charm outta them.

Alright homie, I might be visiting home this summer, so more progress soon!

~Nick

 

[theemann31]

Went out to the mall today with the goal of doing 15 approaches, but apparently my approach anxiety has returned and I ended up only approaching 3 girls very sloppily, but the approaches were good as I got some good feedback from the girls who rejected me, like they clearly told me where I went wrong in the conversation and I know how to tweak things now.

Reneikwa
I walked the mall for almost an hour with no approaching as I chickened out of talking to a ton of girls because of nerves and excuses until I reminded myself how disappointed I'd be driving back home if I had 0 approaches then saw a girl with lovely curls in her hair, so I forced myself to walk faster up to her then...
Me: Hey hold up (she turned and looked at me while still walking and I tried my best to muster up a warm smile and did smile) I saw you walking by here... and i thought the curls in your hair were lovely (nervously slurred out with no volume and bad vocals but good posture and a smile)
Her: Oh okay (she seemed like she didn't care much)
Me: Well let's chat for a bit (I put a hand on her arm gently to slow her down) stop here?... (my nerves kick in more so I can't start things off well) so do you go to U of M?
Her: No
Me: well, where are you in life right now
Her: I am studying to be a nurse at Ford
Me: (slow spreading wobbly smile) cool, so you must be a really compassionate and caring person then (I tried to qualify her to a quality I like in girls, but I did it at the wrong time)
Her: Yeah, I guess I am
Me: cool, so what got you into nursing? (I should add some parameters for the question)
Her: well my mom was always a nurse and she kinda got me into it
Me: mmhmm, I can totally relate to that, my mom was also a nurse (I should've used this thread as we both can relate to it)
then I jumped over to some non related topic with another question and she told me she had a boyfriend so I bid her farewell and she raced off away. Mistakes there are pretty obvious but I'll point out the fixes

Vonna and her Friend
I was trying to leave the mall as I exhausted all the time I gave myself then saw two black ladies walking in front of me so I decided I'd make myself approach despite the fact I've never cold approached more than 1 girl alone

I won't write out this one but Vonna didn't want any part of me but her friend did and I didn't notice it in the moment but I'm sure she found me attractive thinking back and had I done a better job, I could've date closed her successfully. But anyway, I opened a bit better, meaning i was confident and loud with good fundies and EC, but sucked on the follow up but I did persist and ended up following their lead around Macy's trying to keep a conversation by pelting them with questions until I decided I should probably leave em be.

Kinda funny how it works, there were 2 girls there, 1 totally attracted to me, the other wanted no part of me. It really is a numbers game. Next time, I have to use some sort of statement, cold reads, some kind of framing some kind of teasing or something on the onset of the interaction along with some singular flow after the opener. And when opening I have to make the smile more natural when it spreads and open with more confidence showing in my fundamentals, that should be plenty to work on for now. I usually do better with this, maybe today was an off day.

So If I actually do approach the girls I'm attracted to when I see them
Open them more naturally and with more confidence and let my nerves affect me less
Follow up the opener with something relevant that flows
Don't pelt the hell out of the girl with question after question
then I'll have made my tweaks

 

[ray_zorse]

Sounds like you have a solid strategy.

Just a comment though -- you know when the water is cold and you gradually wade in, exposing the different parts of your body gradually to the freezing water, compared to when you jump right in and get a short sharp shock and then you're fine? Well I get a lot of AA and usually favour the first way (talk to shop assistants, old people, etc... use low pressure openers instead of direct, etc) but frankly it doesn't work well, your vibe is too fragile and you keep building it up and then losing it again. So lately I've had much more success the second way -- before leaving the house or car or whatever I tell myself I'm going to approach the first girl I see (going direct), and that I'll treat the first 3 approaches as practice. It works very well!

-Ray

 

[theemann31]

Been completing some basic GC Ebook assignments lately and today I went out to a shopping center with my friend in Cincinnati and approached only 6 girls in about a half an hour.

Main takeaways were that the conversations that were with women who were investing went way better than the ones where the girl didn't give a shit. So just gotta get girls to put in effort to talk to me.

With Emily, I made her guess which part of the US I'm from and she kept failing until I gave her a hint and she guessed it right, then I rewarded her and she was super happy, so I guess that's a good way to get girls to invest, play the guessing game with a reward. I later asked her of her relationship status and she's taken and loyal.

The other thing I must use is where some women do invest, but I don't talk about anything that they can relate on. One chick was an accountant, the other a child psychologist, the other a college freshman like me (Emily), the other a Kindergarden Teacher. So I think I've got to just sacrifice the next like 40 or 50 approaches I do on just finding out about their professions, their coresponding personalities and passions/ pasttimes and what they care about for the most common professions and women types then use those to be relateable with future women.

 

[theemann31]

had an interview at Chrysler today, things went pretty well there, but I managed to package in an outing after the interview as I was already in a nice part of Michigan.

I've got to record some insights from the interactions I had to build on them.
Deep Rapport
Instead of twiddling my thumbs while waiting in the lobby for my interview, a stunning 28 or so year old brunnette came by and sat down at the other side of the lobby so I walked over and sat 3 seats away then started a conversation and commanded her to sit right next to me.
The deep rapport here came after she opened up telling me why she got into HR and was applying at Chrysler over Laer corp. I told her,"yeah, I've noticed most people have no clue what they want out of their life and end up pursuing things they despise" Then I went silent and held eye contact and she continued on for about 2 minutes pouring her heart out to me about her past and how she came to love what she loves. And I pinged off of what she said and and we were in our own little world in that section of the lobby, it's like it was just me and her in the world only and nothing else existed. I guess that is what deep rapport is, I've never gotten into it off of cold approach before and realized it. Then a minute or two later I got called off to my interview and I left with a handshake.

The tips there would be a few:
-Good job getting the deep rapport instead of getting trapped in regular rapport. Escalation is vital. Make sure you reward your partner for her contribution and deep thought. For instance, after she's done pouring her heart out to me about the deepest and most vulnerable parts of her life, go ahead and slowly spread a smile, touch her softly on the arm and say "gosh, that's so true! finding your passion must have been such a wild ride but you made it, you know, (look down and exhale and regain eye contact) you're a cool gal.
-When she shares a dozen different things about her life to you all at once, go ahead and pick one or two then restate them after she's done sharing or cut her off if it's impactful enough and point that out and share something. Just don't do what you did and point out something that flows against what she is telling you, follow the female conversation style and relate to a feeling or experience she has conveyed to you by sharing something that speaks to what she is telling you.

Rapport
Girl at the salad bar and the other one in Whole foods.
-I cold approached a few girls in Whole Foods, 2 of which I must tweak some skills. I did some repartee teasing with the girl at the salad bar and that was good, she was digging it but with both girls hit some rapport, ask a basic question or point something out, use the Zphix singular flow model then transition into something more personal in rapport or something, just don't stand there like a mime and let the chance past by.

I can't think of anything else so I'll go back out tomorrow and see what I can do, I still have not practiced the push pull so I have to throw that in too.

Also, I spoke with a Holister model named Brandon I met at a store (I'm straight but he was sexy as hell) and what I saw out of him was that he was:
-Charismatic but warm and relatable
-Didn't share anything about himself unprompted but made me want to find out about him by probing into my life and relating so well to what I was saying (and I wasn't giving him much to work with)
-Smiling and touching me and rewarding me frequently
He treated me like I was already his best friend, so I'll think some of that over

 

[theemann31]

Another day, another outing - grinding towards success

Today I drove out to Auburn Hills and approached 5 or 6 girls across 2 shopping plaza's. I repeated alot of mistakes that I've made in the past and I'm kicking myself good over them as I shouldn't make the same mistake twice. The main thing I'm mad at is when a super pretty 10 that I forced myself to say high to, excused herself from our conversation halfway through it, that stung really really badly, but i recovered and approached a few other girls who bugged out on the opener, so I'll be sure to implement these next few things in my next outing or I'll punish myself in the weight room tomorrow with a ton of sets to failure.

DO THESE DAMN IT!

-Smile, even after a tough rejection, even through bad nerves, others around you judging, smile big and warmly (with my eyes too) as I seem to think I'm smiling but am only cracking a tiny unseeable smile. At least fake happiness and light heartedness even when you're pissed you just fucked up, fake it
- Always preopen, no matter how weird it feels or unnatural, get next to her and lightly touch her without looking at her. Or some other way get her to look at you first, then close the distance.
- Use your repartee, tease and push pull and chase frame, you use it sparingly, but try to use it copiously now as it makes the interaction more fun and light-hearted when done and delivered right
- Connection- connect with the girl on something fast! use we and us more (ask yourself, what do we have in common and what emotionally can I talk about that on?)
The 10 who rejected me was into animals and taking care of them, I should've related emotionally with some really vivid imagery of my old dog, or cat or something filled with mushy-gushy feelings that she could relate with, instead of the shit I said about what "type of dog I have", a boring fact that she could do nothing with. So point out things in common and try to talk to her feelings and emotions on the matter, not about facts devoid of emotion. Feelings and emotions are king

One thing that I wonder as well, is when a girl sees a guy with strong fundamentals check her out and not go over and talk to her, what does she think about him, is she happy he didn't come over and bug her, is she sad she doesn't get to meet him, does she consider him a little bitch with no confidence? I wonder how they feel because I know this one woman saw me check her out and not say hi to her and I wonder what was going through that head of hers.

 

[theemann31]

The outing today I approached 6 people, 1 being a dude to be more social. With the guy I should've chatted some more with him and tried to do something with him that weekend to expand my friend group.

The first was a natural approach where I was brushed off gently by a girl I naturally approached crossing the street, a genuine interest slow approach that she just accelerated walking away from me during some rapport building. Not my fault there, just her is how I feel. She wanted nothing to do with me.

2nd girl was sitting in the library on her IPad and I walked over and chatted with her about her IPad. Then transitioned off that to what she was doing in college and discovered that she didn’t really know what she wanted to do. So I had her tell me a bit about what she could be doing if she could do anything (standard shit really) and she seemed to enjoy talking to me and after about 4 or 5 minutes she said she would be late for a class if she didn’t leave now so I let her know that I thought she was sweet and pretty and I liked that about her and wanted to see her again, she thanked me and suggested a study date later in the day after her class, I agreed, we traded numbers by me giving her my phone and her putting her number in it. She told me to text her my number and name later and I fumbled the end here a bit. I tried to call her to MAKE SURE the number was not a fake as I can’t persist with a fake number (I believe I spend too much time trying to close interactions). As she walked away she jolted and grabbed her phone so I knew it was a good number. About 10 minutes later a quick ice breaker.
Me: It was fun meeting you –Josh  3:03 pm
Me: Hey A, how about we do some studying at the ### in a bit? 4:31 pm
A: I’m actually in a study group right now sorry! 4:50 pm
Me: That’s a shame, let’s try to see each other again a little later this week then, sound good? 4:52 pm
And it ends there so far, I guess tomorrow or so I’ll persist in the suavest way I can

3rd I saw a pretty girl walking by so got close to her and said excuse me then complimented her on her hair and soon traded names. Then I asked how her day was going and got an auto pilot response so I asked her what she has on the agenda and teased her on it telling her she was “slipping away to go change into her superwoman costume and fight crime before nightfall” this got her out of autopilot I believe and helped things along. I inquired into what her major was, she was unsure of what to do with Biology and I had her tell me what she would truly enjoy doing most, she told me and I should have related a bit more to her and given her some guidelines on how to respond when asking her more questions but I just forgot I guess. I need to keep an emphasis on good deep conversation fast. After probably 4 or 5 more minutes of conversation, we walked into the parking garage together and I decided to go no further in there with her and did my closing routine, told her to stop here, she was cute and fun, blah blah and I wanted to see her again, she told me she had a boyfriend. Usually I would just say oh… okay and slither off but this time I tried something new; I told her that I wouldn’t call myself an introvert but I’m rather asocial and am working on myself to be with people (which is true) and she related to that and seemed to melt a bit when I was so embarrassingly honest with her and promptly gave me her phone to trade numbers and I let her text me her name. I can’t see her again today so I just sent her an icebreaker after maybe 15 minutes and I’ll persist more tomorrow or the next day.

4th girl, I saw an attractive brazillian walking by so I said hi to her and gave her a compliment on her hair color. She stopped squared her shoulders to me and smiled and engaged me. I went right in the conversation by going deep very very quickly after beginning the conversation. However, I couldn’t relate to her as well and I used some slang with her that confused her to no end, I felt like I beat some topics to death and kept going, like why she came to the US and how she liked it here versus Brazil, I should have helped her think more in the questions and related better and used more intrigue, but I went deep so I can’t say I’m not making conversational progress, my interactions are taking more time, I’m going deep faster and deeper and I feel like I’m being more warm.

5th girl Total shit on my part, I botched the approach and didn’t care to try and recover from it.

 

[theemann31]

Not an outing or anything, I was just at the airport and was pretty groggy and sleepy so early in the morning, when my boarding group was called I saw a really cute short black girl named Sue-Ann right before me in my boarding group and as soon as we made eye contact I mustered up a warm smile and she returned it and I asked her boarding number she giggled and told me and I smiled and made a remark about being ahead of her and then turned around and kept moving.

A few hours later I was boarding on my connecting flight and saw the same girl in my same boarding group and after having a conversation with a cool older guy on the plane about the newest Rocky movie "Creed" I felt more social and decided to chat her up, I remarked on us being together again somehow smiling at her and then kept the conversation going by asking her where in Michigan she was from (secretly hoping she would be living somewhere nearby me and be single too) she told me Michigan State and my heart sank a bit as that's far from me but I just shrugged it off and kept chatting her up, she was investing in me pretty hard as well trading questions with me and did my best working on my intrigue skills really trying to draw her in the way that Chase recommended I do in one of my previous FRs, here's a few:

Me:That's fun that you're in law
Her: Yeah, thanks so why go to Michigan from Florida?
Me: Oh you know, I just found something I really like in life and decided to take a chance on it and make it happen
Her: Really??? What are you majoring in?
Me: Well... it's a bit involved, most people have trouble getting it
Her: (interjects excitedly) Try me!
Me: (I smile at her enthusiasm in jumping in) I'll try, do you do anything creative or artistic?
Her: Yeah, well sometimes, I mostly dabble around
Me: Great, do you doodle at all (she agrees) well really just that, we use our artistic touch to design the next generation and so on design cars by sketching them out and going over the sketches with technology

She responds really well to this intrigue, and jumps in telling me she thinks it's cool and that her older brother builds and races ricers (asian cars) so I hop in excitedly asking about the kind of car he has and she pulls out her phone and shows me on Instagram the cars he's built and tells me about the turbo engines, the transmissions in them and so on and so forth as we sit together on the plane. And I'm in heaven right now, she's adorable, loves cars and gets me... if only she didn't live so far away. We slowly go deeper and deeper in conversation on the flight and I naturally let the conversation die sometimes and interestingly she picks it back up over and over.

At one point she looks at a baby and talks about how adorable it is and how she loves babies, I relate to her emotions and share my opinion for a bit and encourage her share more and relate (got some solid female convo style practice in) and then she does the cutest thing, she grabs her jacket and stretches her legs out and looks up with a pretty smile on her face and tells me more about her love for babysitting:

Her: God, I could just babysit all day, really all babies and toddlers need is just a little love and to be taught right from wro..
Me: Wait, (I look at her and spread a big smile) the way you just stretched out there and grabbed your jacket and that cute smile on your face is just the prettiest thing
Her: Awwww thanks

I inquire if she's single and she tells me she is and usually doesn't have enough time to actively date being a law student and inquires if I have "a special girlfriend or something" so I use more intrigue and draw her into my past social phobia for meeting new people and moving to a new state and struggling to meet guys and girls and socialize and I can tell speaking in emotions is giving her something she can grab onto and relate to telling her I am single and it's a shame she lives so far away. Then out of nowhere she kind of rubs up against me with her shoulder on mine and begins some playful teasing and I tease back.

We speak more as the plane lands and docks with the terminal and express our regret that we couldn't live closer and see each other more, I offer trading numbers to stay in contact and she obliges and then we part ways. I send out an icebreaker a few hours later when comfortable in my dorm and she responds quickly and very warmly, very differently from other girls who don't respond or are very slow and lazy with texts.

All in all I didn't really care to meet her at first but had a really nice interaction with her, the takeaways would be:
-Intrigue is a powerful tool, it should be used heavily in different subtle ways to really drink her into my life, whether that means being vulnerable or just by telling her a juicy little snippet of myself and leaving it there for her to pursue more
-Female conversational style is based around relating and encouraging relating and sharing emotions and experiences, I find that when I spoke with her like a guy things weren't as special as when I spoke in emotions and feelings, she could grab onto emotions and feelings and could work with them better than facts
-Encouraging her to chase overall is a powerful tool from what I am seeing now, intriguing her, encouraging her to share and relate all really help along with finding a few deep topics to discuss along the way

Just a fun interaction that made my flight memorable and taught me a few things on how to run interactions a bit better as I develop my Repartee and Rapport skills

 

[theemann31]

Today at Record Store: Kaitlyn

I walk into a record store in Ferndale and see a few people strewn about and one lady in an ugly back polo shirt, but my rule is I have to approach one lady in every venue i visit so I move from the jazz records and decide to open, as I walk her way she starts to walk away, I open anyway asking what records she has in her hands. (I feel very asocial at the moment and don't feel like talking to anyone but do it anyway of course) She tells me of the artists and I ask which genres and she tells me the different ones and mentions David Boey telling me that I should know all of his songs. I disagree saying I don't and I need to listen to more songs than just the few artists that I know and tell her to give me just 1 song that I should hear from him that is at least an okay song as I should try to diversify. She tells me to listen to Golden years then Changes and sings the chorus of Changes and I immediately recognize it. She asks my name and we trade names and asks me what i was looking for in the shop. I say I was just looking at some jazz and decide to tell her a story of the last shop I was at when looking at Jazz:

So I was at a different record store and was looking at the jazz section and met a cool guy there who was really good at Jazz guitar. and you know I'm just starting out with Jazz Guitar...
Her: (she interjects) Yeah I know that Jazz guitar can be some of the hardest guitar
Me: You play jazz guitar?
Her: No, no I just know a little bit about this and jazz should be a tough one
Me: Yeah... it can be rough (trying to relate, but I'm so low effort from feeling a-social) So we set up a jam session together to play and then he apparently got into a car accident and couldn't have it anymore with having to work more to pay for the damages and all

That was the story, I should have tried to involve her more with the prospect of meeting someone new, or as fate would have it when shitty things ruin perfectly good plans or something to get her involved in the story instead of just a spectator. I soon felt like I should let her know that I'm into her so I told her that she's actually a really cool person and smile a bit, she thanks me and it felt a little awkward, I continue to ask what brought her here, she tells me she's just looking for something but isn't sure if what she has is enough or not, I joke saying go big or go home right, she says I'm a bad influence on her and I just laugh. I tell her that she's cute and begin asking her if she would grab a bite with me later on in the weekend but she starts to drift away from me towards other people then plays it off by looking at some random records, I persist and ask if she has a boyfriend, in typical girl fashion she does and tells me that she's buying a record for him. I decide that's enough, and bid her adieu and look at more jazz records.

Book Store Sri Lankan Girl

After looking at some WW2 articles in the magazine area of a Books a Million yesterday evening, I head over to the fiction section of the book store and realize that i need to approach at least one girl before i leave and notice one female standing looking at some books. So I set up shop looking at some nearby books then decide I should say something. I ask what book she has in her hands, she says it's To Kill a Mockingbird. I tell her yeah, I know that one, that's a high school read for me there but I never paid attention enough to even know the genre, she says it's fiction and I tell her that I'm Josh, her name was a unique name, something close to Sharamie but more complex and hard to say. I fumble out a question to the effect of where are you from in regards to her accent. She tells me she's from here in Michigan at first then realizes what I meant and tells me Sri Lanka, I am caught off guard and tell her I've never met someone from there before and ask what it's like there. She tells me it's an island in some part of the world I forgot and I laugh saying wow it's an island too, that's super cool and ask what brought her here to Michigan. She tells me that her family came her with her then asks about me. I still don't know how to tell a girl about me so I try to build a little intrigue by telling her that I am from the college down the road and am studying car design (she nods her head and says cool) I continue on telling her that we just style the bodies in insides of cars trying to make the world a cooler place to see fun cars in.

She likes this description and I ask if she does anything artistic and she agrees that she draws just about anything when she gets a chance, I high five her to this information and tell her that that's my whole life basically, drawing tons and tons of cars to get hired. I take this as an opportunity to express some interest in her so I ask suggest drawing together with her sometimes and she rejects it saying that she has a boyfriend (like most girls I meet).

Me: We should draw together sometimes, I bet it would be fun
Her: I have a boyfriend, sorry
Me: Yeah, Okay... (in a cursory tone of voice) and is he a nice guy?
Her: yeaaaah...
Me: well good for him (she laughs), so what kinds of things do you draw specifically

I've started fucking with girls by saying this, I have sooooo many girls tell me that they have boyfriends as an excuse to not do anything with me that I just say yeah.. and is he a nice guy or yeah a cute girl like you should have a boyfriend or something to that effect then move on. God, sometimes I swear that just about every girl out there has a boyfriend or that they're just lying because they aren't into me. So I continue about what she draws then figure I don't want to talk to her anymore so I tell her it was nice meeting her and leave.

Maybe I'm too much of a nice guy and need more of an edge somehow. Maybe I'll start poking fun at girls more often in that whole "co operative teasing" way or something