Journal #3

[Mr.Rob]

I don't know where to start with this.

It's been a long time since I wrote journal entries on here. Mostly I've been writing in my journal by hand.

I was planning on starting this journal Monday but I can't sleep, I'm pissed off, and sick so I'm just going to start early. (*NOTE: I started this draft 4/15 at 3:45AM and saved to start over again but after rereading I'm going to publish the raw real entry and rewrite the end for practicality)

Life Since "Hanging Up My Spurs"

A lot has happened since the last time I was truly frequent on the boards here. My last real post was https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=14063 in which I talked about "hanging up my spurs" for pickup due to my erectile dsyfunction and libido issues to pursue uncovering the mystery behind my lack of sexual vitality that I once had in such tremendous amounts...

Unfortunately things have gotten a lot worse with my health in the meantime...

To give a quick rundown, I began having ED and low libido issues out of the blue for no reason beginning Nov. 2015 and getting progressively worse through 2016 before leveling off at a well below average level for a 23 year old man.

Aside from ED/low libido issues my overall energy levels began slowly decreasing starting in Jan. 2016 beginning with symptoms of waking up tired and taking long periods of time to get out of bed (20-30 minutes compared to 3 minutes). This slowly turned into a subtle fatigue which got progressively worse every month from March to August where I was just about bedridden and spent 85% or more of waking hours in bed.

The problem turned out to be Mononucleosis which was causing chronic fatigue. Mono is a herpes virus that most everyone gets exposed to at some point in their life (typically before age 12 when no symptoms occur). Their is no cure except for rest.

So I rested. And rested. And rested some more. And rested even more.

Eventually the blood tests came back that mono was no longer active but the chronic fatigue syndrome still stuck around residually. I am no longer bed ridden but I am inhibited in the level of energy I can expend before being forced to rest and recover from doing every day activities. It's a fucking bitch to be honest.

I haven't been with a woman since Feb. 2016 (over a year). I've experienced more emotional turmoil, anger, sadness, self-pity, depression, and frustration than I have in my entire life. I'm fucking pissed at all the incompetent doctors that have no idea what is going on. I'm mad at myself for spending so much time seducing party girls I had no intentions of dating and not building relationships with women that I had actual interest in sticking around long term so in the lowest of my lowest moments I had literally no one to take care of me or keep me company as I laid in a bed day in and day out for months on end and still must do a day or two a week (my friends that lived in Olrando at the time I became bed ridden moved away to LA, Atlanta, and Los Vegas to pursue their dreams). The only company I had was speaking over the phone to my parents and a few select friends and the little social interaction I had when I forced myself out of bed to go to school classes (refused to drop out of college for this and took a reduced course load).

I'm mad at God and the Universe for such a cruel hand of cards that I had almost no control over (how was I supposed to know not to kiss a certain girl??), though its still my fault! FUCK I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS! WHERE IS THE RESET BUTTON!

I don't cry. I'm an emotionally strong person and relatively unemotional but I'll admit that I cried my eyes out when I learned that Mono was officially non active in my blood work but I had inherited Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that may or may not ever go away.

Imagine this...

I've spent the last 4 years of my life working intensely hard to upgrade myself as a man, work towards living the life I truly want to live deep down, and molding and remolding my plans for how I was going to take action to achieve this vision while simultaneously taking massive action to do so in each area and was one of the few people that actually succeeded in a full life transformation that gets into self-development.

I made plans of entering a full time professional selling career in the business world, relocating to Sydney, Australia with likely prospects of making 6 figures my first year out of college (due to my experience I garnered in an elite business program). In Sydney I'd be able to continue having a ball seducing women, get an ambitious social circle and professional network, and live life to the fullest. After 5 years of high profile business experience and making a chunk of change mastering the art of sales and big business development I was going to use saved up money to seize a business opportunity and startup my own company and learn entrepreneurship. These plans were (still are potentially) completely realistic and within my grasp as I am about to graduate in August 2017.

"FUCK IT.. Who cares anymore" (My response to uncertainty)

Well that was the plan. Now the prospect is on the table that I may not be able to do that plan at all because I'm not even capable of working a 40 hour week. The odds are this condition may resolve itself and I might be able to carry on but there is no certainty. There is extreme uncertainty and ambiguity. AND IT DRIVE ME INSANE.

Nonetheless I've already gone through that emotional battle so many times I don't even care anymore. Seriously FUCK IT. What are you going to do? Throw all those awesome plans down the drain and go back to the drawing board.

In all fairness I've gotten to the point where I know I will be fine no matter what happens. I refuse (with great defiance) not to do something amazing with my life, and if I do recover fully and get to the bottom of what exactly is ailing my health then that's amazing but I'm no longer planning my life around that outcome. It's too God Damn painful to have to go through the crushing of my dreams (not to mention how am I going to keep a girl around with a limp dick).

So that's where I currently am in my life right now.

I'm currently making new contingency plans, strategizing new plans that I'd be just as excited to do if my health does not cooperate, and also putting a lot of effort into researching, seeing doctors/specialists, and maintaining healthy lifestyle practices in an effort to recover fully while still remaining outcome independent to the end result.

I'm don't believe in mainstream Christianity but I do believe that a God, The Universe, or a higher consciousness that surpasses all human understanding has intervened (I've had too many seemingly miraculous events take place in my life and also just in observing history/science in general to believe this whole existence is accidental. I just think the chances are too low statistically speaking.) and I believe with full conviction that this shitty event in my life has forced my ship to take a different route that is going to lead to the greater good both in my personal life and also from a utilitarian purpose for the greater good of mankind.

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4/20

Purpose of This Journal

This will probably not have much pickup related discourse in it but I do hope that I'll be allowed to document my progression towards getting my life back. I've spent a lot of time on these boards and it is nice to log my life in a familiar space with familiar faces (or avatars I should say ;] ).

I'm a broken man. I have literally just start to come out of an extreme depression (beginning in March) and am very slowly working towards getting my life back and in order. I feel as if my house had a bomb dropped on top of it and I happened to survive but now have to begin the process of picking up the pieces of the rubble and slowly rebuild my house back stronger.

This journal will cover a few things namely:

1) I've had it in my mind I am incapable of working a 40 hr. work week and sustaining that long term due to my illness. I am going to challenge this limiting belief to see if it is true or not.

2) Document my future plans for life after I graduate college (I'm pretty locked in until August 2017) to account for contingency plans for what I am going to do with my life if I do not recover fully.

3) Document my progress mentally, physically, and write up new happenings with regards to new findings with my health (both fatigue syndrome and ED/Low Libido), life's purpose, and any interesting shares or wins along the way (and possibly some emotional venting).

I look forward to what the future holds and sharing it as I slowly begin getting my sanity and life back. This journal should be a ride so hold on tight.

As always keep it pimping in the meantime gentlemen.

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

40 Hour Work Week Challenge

Due to my illness I haven't worked more than maybe 20-25 hours (at most) in a week since last July of 2016. I have created somewhat of a limited belief in that I am not capable of working a 40 hour + week without suffering fatigue from overextension.

I am going to work a 40 hour week and monitor what happens to find out whether or not I am capable of working a 40 hour week and thus determine if I simply hold a limiting belief or if my condition has improved enough to allow me to resume a normal work schedule.

Format

I'm going to work 8 hours a day from today through Tuesday (random day to start I know but I wanted to start now).

Work includes any activity that requires mental or physical exertion and is not exclusive to school work and the business project I'm working on. Thus if I do Yoga for an hour, practice the piano, or write in my journal as I am here then that counts as a working time on the clock.

I'm going to push through the 40 hours even if I feel fatigued just as a part of the experiment to genuinely understand what effect it will have on me.

When Sunday hits you must wake up at 9AM (would start Saturday but I didn't sleep but 2 hours last night and need the sleep) through Tuesday.

Must journal outcome for each day on here.

Day 1 - 40 Hour Work Week Challenge

Today I had to wake up at 5:45AM to be at a school function at 7:30AM and unfortunately I couldn't sleep last night and only got 2 hours of sleep. Due to this physical handicap I only required myself to work 4 hours (piano for 2 hours, chores 1 hour, 1 hour of journal writing/reading). I did spend about 4 hours actively participating and socializing at school today and thus will count those 4 hours towards work.

I'm honestly not very tired. I know the hour is about to hit when I crash and I will probably sleep like a baby for 12 hours which I am looking forward to.

Usually days where I have really low sleep I do surprisingly well and then crash really hard the next day (typically those are bedridden days) but I'm doing the challenge and I'm going to have to push through if that happens.

I have begun learning the piano since last December. I know 4 real songs but they are somewhat advanced for a beginner and I love the music. I began playing due to my recent interest in classical music and basically it is a cool skill set I can channel my creative and ambitious energy into without exerting a ton of energy, so a perfect activity for my recovery. It has been most therapeutic.

Today I practiced Chopin's Waltz in A-Minor from B.150 Posthumously Published collection. Once I finish learning this song I will have 5 songs in my repertoire The song is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtQRpmaaiCo

That is all for today. Will write up log for day 2 of the challenge.

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Day 2 - 40 Hour Work Week Challenge

Today I woke up around 10:30AM very tired and with a headache. Being that I had really low sleep the day before I wasn't surprised I felt bad and was expecting that if I didn't snap out of it quick I would indeed be working from bed.

I took a deep breathe, laid in bed for about an hour and then got out of bed.

Once I had a bowl of blueberries with nuts and dark chocolate and some water the headache went away. I stopped feeling as tired and I began cracking into my 8 hour workday.

The workday agenda consisted of working on my business project, light exercise, practicing piano, and writing this journal entry (and cooking/cleaning dinner which I counted into the hours).

Business Project

The business project I'm working on is getting the sales equation of The 21 Convention up and running to build relationships with potential attendees and get some momentum going with regards to the revenue generated from outbound calling.

For today I needed to transfer prospect info into my spreadsheet from the CRM system and then make outbound calls to prospects.

I felt sluggish during the data transfer stage but maintained energy regardless. After I finished this task I went for some light exercise and walked a mile in my neighborhood. Then I began cracking into outbound calls to prospective convention attendees.

I changed up my sales script from a script that is more probing and deep diving to a script that is more outcome independent, builds excitement, and screens for logistics. The outcome was I had really good results with it and set 2 future phone calls that were actually requested by the prospect (never had that happen before).

The new script incorporates these aspects:

1. I present myself as a partner of the CEO of The 21 Convention (rather than an employee) and come off as a consultant that's spreading the word about the new event. ----> Result = Respected more off the bat

2. Utilize the psychological effect of social proof. I tell the prospect "we're getting a bunch of guys that are fans of The 21 Convention or are really into self-improvement to come out and..." ----> Result = Offer sounds like an invitation to be apart of something really cool instead of feeling like you're being sold to. Twice today I had guys asking when/where/how much before I even got done giving my spiel.

3. Vibe is promotes excitement and freedom from outcome. I tell the prospects "were getting a ton of excitement for this event, it's probably going to sell out because we only have 100 spots.. we have 119K YouTube subscribers. You do the math." Essentially the train is moving along fast and its going to get to its destination whether you buy or not (but if you buy today then it will get there that much faster ) ---> Result = Prospects get excited and want to be apart of the excitement (READ SEDUCTION [albeit 100% ethical and honest])

I only got to test it on a few prospects as I only had a few pickups today but this is worth continuing to implement and test. When I worked at Stectec Industries selling websites I used a similar outcome independent technique to get prospects to open up which doubled my results so I may be onto something.

I felt somewhat energized during this call session.

Playing Piano

Practiced scales and continued learning the complete right hand melody of Chopin's Waltz in A-Minor Posthumously Published B150 collection.

My energy drained quickly after practicing hard for 40 minutes. I completed a 1.5 hour session on the piano in total.

Dinner + Journal Writing

During this segment of my workday I feel tired but attentive and not sluggish enough to hit the keyboard and string sentences together.

Assessment of Energy Level

I'm surprised I had the stamina for this today being that I had such an exhaustive day yesterday as typically those days take 2 days to recover from.

How I feel Wednesday and Thursday will be the true test as to pushing my limits here past what I'm used to.

Tomorrow I up the ante for the remaining 3 days of this challenge by waking up at 9AM no excuses (typically I just sleep in until I wake up). This will be good since I will be able to complete my workday sooner but it will also drain my energy reserves more so it will be interesting to see the effect of more days of activity.

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Day 3

Worked plus did some fun shit today with friends.

Feeling good.
Tired now.

Realized today that a lot of ultra successful business men can be sociopaths haha. That's so crazy to me. What if a sociopath wasn't ambitious? Would they just be some person throwing McDonalds wrappers out of his car and not caring about the environment.

-Rob

 

[Big Daddy]

Hey Rob, I have something to tell ya. I actually come from the future, your doctor was blatantly wrong and in no time you will be as good as new. We'll just have to wait for you to see it... Until then, keep working on it

Great to have you back 'round here bro.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Hey Big Daddy, preciate the words man! Thanks for good news from the future big dawg, your gonna have to let me take your time machine for a test ride sometime that sounds like a handy tool.

Day 4

I'm sort of giving up a bit on the challenge (way to hang in there right? haha) and its not because I feel particularly low energy its more because I completely threw off my sleep last night as I hung out with some good friends last night so I'm thinking of restarting the challenge next week.

Nonetheless I basically did about 8 hours of work today (working on a final presentation to give to my business classes) on about 5 hours of sleep and I'll probably have to do about 8 hours of work tomorrow so I'll still keep this report going. Only difference is I'm not waking up early tomorrow (or today).

My energy level today was fine up until about 3PM in which I got a headache and a slight tiredness/fatigue. This likely happened because I did not sleep much last night.

Today I went and talked to my therapist (who I'm not totally sure I like or not yet) and basically we had an interesting discussion about people that go through fucked up mental issues (depression, anxiety, DSM Book type of shit) and how a lot of famous crisis leaders emerged (think of Churchill, JFK, FDR, etc) because of their ability to handle fucked up situations because they are already familiar with chaos and know how to handle the situation. I'm probably going to read "A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness" by Nassir Ghaemi.

That's it for today. Might play the piano for a bit, self medicate, and get some sleep.

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Day 5

Today I did about 4 hours of work, which means the whole entire challenge I was only about 4 hours short of hitting 40 hours (which is pretty close).

I got really tired today around 5PM onward. I took some time out laying down and feel a bit more energized now.

I've got a busy day tomorrow and a busy day Thursday so we'll see how I fare after those days and see where I'm at.

I'm going to re-do this challenge in a week and report back again (I'll probably do a Mon-Fri next time around waking up at 8:30AM)

The next item I want to address in this journal are short term alternatives to my ED/Low Libido problem as I finally feel ready to get my hands a bit dirty again in the dating world. I could really use a caring woman to devote herself to calling me daddy and nurture me as I recover fully.

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Doctors Update (Past Week)

I visited a new doctor on 4/26 whom I resonated with most of his views on health (wholesome organic diet + exercise as opposed to pharmaceuticals). He confirmed that my chronic fatigue syndrome is likely to have been inherited from mono and I will likely have the syndrome for anywhere from 10 years to life (sometimes at age 30-40 CFS from mono will disappear for no reason).

From my past research endeavors into CFS from mono I know this is accurate information as somewhere like 4% of mono cases that don't heal up after the typical time (2 months or less) turn into CFS for an indefinite period of time.

I still want to pursue uncovering alternative root causes (as I'm not 100% convinced the CFS started when mono started and mono could have come after CFS from something else).

Possible root causes to look into include:
-Lyme Disease
-STD's I haven't yet been tested for
-Leaky Gut / Candida Infection (GI related)

40 Hour Work Week Aftermath

I don't feel too terrible, albeit tired and sore. I played basketball yesterday and I also went out last night until about 10:30 and even drank a glass of wine. I feel super lazy today but I have enough energy to get out of bed and mess around.

In conclusion I feel like I may be able to work a 40 hour week after all, however I want to continue this experiment for perhaps a month straight and get an idea of whether or not this is sustainable and determine the patterns/triggers of any fatigue related issues, or perhaps they go away now that my depression is finally lifting.

Successes of Past Week

My business program is graduating this next week and we had our last class last Wednesday. The program members have become quite a chipper social circle over the past 9 months of the program and we had our last bar crawl social last night in which the girls did superlatives for the whole class.

My superlative was pretty funny and GirlsChase inspired --> "Most likely to have a long dramatic pause before speaking" I thought this was absolutely hilarious.

I remember 4 years ago when I was starting out my journey in learning how to become more attractive to women I was obsessed with becoming charismatic and I really wanted to make this a goal. 4 years later I get a ton of compliments on my fundamentals from my classmates and I typically rock public speaking presentations like a hero and rile the class up emotionally with ease. Now I just have charisma naturally. Kind of cool.

Lastly I won an award and was publicly recognized for the first time of my life at the Dean's Excellence Awards Ceremony. The award was for doing a stellar job on the newsletter for the business program but the professor that nominated me for the award said it was really because I did such an admirable job of keeping my shit together and going above and beyond the average student despite the stress and burden of going through my health issues over the past 9 months. I was really excited to hear that someone acknowledged my work ethic was maintained despite a real excuse to lax off. It made plowing through school work and responsibilities worth plowing through to have been noticed for doing such.

My next journal post will be a write up of my contingency plan for sex with low libido/ED. I've been mulling this over and I think there is more hope than I once thought as far as alternatives go for giving hard sex and making women cum with your dick.

Until then,
-Rob

 

[Yhaceed]

Hey Rob,

I've been following your posts and I still have a few to go but I wanted to get this out. I'm going through something similar myself but I don't trust doctors and don't really know how I'm going to deal with them in the future. I mean at the least I may find a holistic doctor but I haven't gone that route yet. The thing is I've been stubborn and I lost my mom, my grandma, granddaddy, and other family members in the last 3 years. I've been trying to change my health all this time to no avail (and stubborn because I've tried to rely on superfoods to keep things simple since they're not going to make huge changes) for myself and for them but they're gone now and I can't help them. As for my diet sometimes I do feel like I'm on the threshold of changing my health for the better but something seems to come up and hinder me from going further. More specifically I can't breathe through my nose real well, I had cancer 18 years ago (in remission but I don't feel on par with how I was before then), I'm experiencing fatigue too and it takes me 30 minutes to get out of bed on average and I'm feeling other things go wrong too. Also my doctor said one of the long term side effects of the chemo was not being able to have children. So we may have similar issues but as I said I've got glimpses of getting better and if I can fully recover I'll pass on what I've done if you want to hear it because I've heard it work for others with these same issues.

Anyway best of luck recovering
Yhaceed

Yhaceed

 

[Mr.Rob]

Yhaceed,

Sorry to hear about the losses in your family. I've lost quite a few family members myself over the past 4 years and I know how hard that can be on everyone. Wow cancer huh? That's rough stuff. Glad you made it out alive after that one. Yeah with regards to chemo that treatment always sounded horrific to me and I feel like there must be a better way than purposely radiating your body.

Yeah man if you experience anything that helps your symptoms I'm always open ears when it comes to that topic. I'll be posting my findings here in the meantime.

Best of luck to you partner,

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Life Update

Recently I'm most excited about graduating the Professional Selling Program at my university. I have one more summer semester of college before I earn my undergraduate degree but I'm honestly more proud and excited for graduating this business program.

In March of 2016 at the college of business I applied, went through a rigorous 3 tier interview process, and was admitted to this business program. Out of 1,000-2,000 eligible students the program only accepts up to 35 of the best students that apply. I was extremely honored to have been admitted and now been apart of such an elite schooling program.

This program has a job placement % of about 95% of Professional Selling Program students landing respectable, well paying sales careers right out of college. Unfortunately for the program I will be taking away from that statistic but hey.

Recent Change in Perspective (John F. Kennedy)

There is a book called "First Rate Madness" by Nassir Ghaemi I just finished reading that talks about how the greatest leaders in times of crises are those that are mentally ill (clinical depression, mania, bipolar disorder, hypothermic personalities, etc.). Essentially mentally ill people who go through mental crises are comfortable in crisis situations (because its their normal state) and can be the best people to make high stakes decisions.

John F. Kennedy (also known for being a seducer of many women, including Marilyn Monroe) was the leader that successfully handled the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. I did not know this but he suffered from mania and also a tad of depression mentally. Not only that but the guys physical health was a complete disaster due to his compromised immune system due to Addison's disease.

JFK suffered from chronic fatigue his whole life, he had a high amount of back pain, and he was frequently prone to getting hospitalized due to infections that would get past his compromised immune system. He managed to keep the whole situation private from his public life and give the illusion of being a vital man.

In order to not be bedridden throughout his highly ambitious political career he had to use a plethora of drugs (including Testosterone injections, steriods, and a type of amphetamine) in order to function which added to his manic mental state. He suffered A FUCK TON from physical health ailments and it was quite painful to read his biographical segment from the book at times.

What I got out of this is if JFK had fatigue that was probably 2X as bad as mine is (maybe worse) and on top of that he had an extremely compromised immune system and an extremely painful back and he managed not only to climb his way to being President and leader of the free world but also seduce and take as sexual conquest the #1 sex icon America has ever seen, Marilyn fucking Monroe, then I'll be Damned if I don't go and do something at least half as amazing as what JFK achieved.

There is a LOT of hope for my life.

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OK that's it for today.

Short term plans involve researching more into health underlying causes, doctor visits, blood work, ultra sound scheduled, and visiting Mom on mothers day.

OH! And going to make some new lady friends. It's time to get some female sexual companionship into my life again and I need to start sometime. Now is as good as any.

Going out by myself tonight to a low key piano bar with hopes of their being a few cute girls to mingle with.

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Its all about impressing yourself in life. That's for the most part how I've approached my self-development and its worked quite well.

Last night I impressed myself thoroughly.

The past two days prior to Wednesday were pretty rough and I mostly stayed in bed and did a little work here and there sitting up. I went for a walk each of those days because that's what I'm supposed to do.

Then yesterday I woke up feeling OK and I went for a really long walk. I felt good enough to socialize so I took up a friend on an offer to go to this Winedown Wednesday event at a classy bar downtown.

It was off the chain. A ton of people out and about. Many hot women dressed up with their tits out. Fun stuff.

This was the first time I had been "out" to meet women since March 2016 (except I went out for a friends birthday once last August 2016) and it was pretty easy to get into the swing of socializing. I think I talked to probably 8 different girls in which 3 went really well and each of these 3 actually asked either "where do you live?" or "what are you doing after this?". Logistics were poor so I didn't take any of these girls home but thats not the point.

The point is I should have shot confidence. I can't hardly get my dick up, I'm chronically sick, and my life is the aftermath of an explosion disaster. Nonetheless I talked to these women with just as much REAL confidence as I did when I wasn't in a poor situation.

I impressed myself yesterday and even though I'm not fully well yet I am ready to start meeting women to find a girl who will want to support me as I go through the next steps in my life.

Epiphany w/ Pick-Up

What is the goal of learning pickup? Its NOT to become a pickup artist.

By the way you might be a pickup artist IF:
-You constantly scan a room or venue to look for the next girl to spam approach
-You ONLY spam approach w/ zero knack for looking for signs of interest
-You and your wingman/men walk throughout the venue more than twice in under 15 minutes tracing and retracing your steps prowling for an open group of girls
-You use the term "set"
-After approaching a group of girls you and your wingman debrief in the venue to discuss what went wrong in that "set" after every set
-You are a fan of the RSD Hotseat Transformational Experience (I still support Tyler but the Hotseat these days is a cult lol)
-You are proud of spending the past X years of your life developing and refining the BEST routines to use on girls ever

I think the goal of learning how to meet and seduce women is this: "Learn to understand and love women so they no longer cause stress in your life and instead enhance your life's experience." AND "Get to the point where meeting, attracting, and being with high-caliber women is an easy and normal part of life"

Pickup shouldn't be an all consuming aspect of your life forever. There comes a point where you switch from cool pickup guy to a guy who is just attractive to women. These days pickup is not all consuming for me (my health and future plans are) and thus it is not a main priority in life. I no longer devote long periods of time to mentally thinking about picking up women.

Instead I merely just talk to women I think are cute whenever I'm out and about. That's it. If it goes good then cool. If not then I have bigger shit to worry about.

I want this to become the norm as I begin getting the wheels turning again on my social life. I don't want to go back to being a pickup guy again. I'm a natural now.

What I'm Working On

With the mindset switch from pickup to natural out of the way now I would like to talk about what I'm working on in my game right now. Hahaha.

Actually its important to learn now that I'm a natural and that is: Approaching women that are interested in being approached or interested in me.

I've been tinkering around with eye contact much more lately and I now make eye contact with every girl I pass to see what her reaction is. I've been noticing I get quite a few more signals of attraction (smiling, doe eyes, looking down, looking away and smiling/embarrassed) than I would have thought (albeit my fundamentals are decent enough).

When I approach girls that give these signals they are much warmer and more receptive to me. I can't believe I never caught onto this years ago as it makes things much more simple and means I no longer have to blindly wonder if a girl is going to like me off spam approaching every girl with a pulse.

This is the best thing for me to learn since I need to expend as little energy as possible to get outcomes in life these days.

Doctor Update

Exciting news. There is a new hope.

My biggest frustration with the mainstream medicine (and the reason I've fired 3 doctors thus far) is that the practitioners DO NOT by any means seek to diagnose root causes and instead say their is no hope and fill a prescription for you to mask your symptoms better without any deeper investigation of potential causes for your disease.

After doing some more research I came across the discipline of Functional Medicine which is basically a practice in which a doctor sits down with the patient for 1-2 hours and dives deep into the patients entire medical history and then runs a series of specialized tests for the individual to uncover the root cause of the patients symptoms to fix the problem rather than mask the symptoms.

Its the solution to everything I've been complaining about. I'm currently researching the best functional medicine doctors in the state. I have heard some very promising leads on this avenue of medicine and I think its worth a shot.

Will keep updated.

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

If you had to pick between 2 black and white options in life of:

A) You live a short 40 year life, great amounts of emotional pain and personal loss, depression (and also a number of great personal victories), BUT you find a way to stop world hunger forever (or fill in the blank with an important accomplishment that moves mankind forward in a significant way) and get to realize your contribution to the world BEFORE you die.

B) You live a long 85 year life, great amounts of love and relationships, life goes swimmingly for the most part, BUT you do not contribute but the bare minimum to moving mankind forward and simply work a 9-5 your whole life and achieve averagely.

Its a hard choice really.

If someone put a gun to my head and told me to choose right now off the top of my head I'd go with option A

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just got back home from visiting the folks out of town. Good visit.

I've been eating a bunch of junk food bull spit lately and today it stops completely.

Summer school starts tomorrow and I need to get back in the game of life. Time to start moving forward a bit.

Here are my top priorities as of now in order:

1. Source Functional Medicine Doctor
2. Begin dating, socializing, and making new friends again
3. Business Project / Graduating School in free time

Points 1 + 3 are pretty straightforward.

The reason point 2 is somewhat of a priority is because it contributes to my mental health mostly in preventing depression from social isolation (now that my social circle has disbursed). I'm still recovering from my mistake in not having a stronger social support system in a time of crisis (particularly a woman/women to tend to me) so I'd like to not have that happen again because that sucked a lot.

Note this is not a priority as in I'm going to focus on improving my social skills and maxing my game out to the next level. NO. I'm just going to bring a few new people into my life over the next few months. Socialize.

Godspeed,

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Functional Medicine Doctor Thoughts

Currently I'm in the stage of researching and sourcing a list of top functional medicine doctors in my region to narrow down my options and choose the best fit for my needs.

Here is what I've learned about functional medicine doctors:
Functional medicine seeks to uncover the root causes of chronic disease and then work with the patient to develop a treatment plan. FM doctors go through traditional doctor scholastic paths and then branch out into FM typically when they see the conventional medicine system is not all that it is cracked up to be. FM doctors can have backgrounds in many different disciplines including osteopathy, chiropractic, medical doctor, naturopathy, acupuncture, and Chinese herb/alternative. The best FM practitioners are typically chiropractics (oddly enough) followed by MD's (who typically have a more conventional approach interwoven into their FM framework). FM doctors spend 1-2 hours with the patient to learn the entirety of the patients medical history, symptoms, and life event triggers of said symptoms and then orders a number of specific and in depth blood, saliva, urine, and stool tests to uncover the true cause(s) of the disease. Once the root cause of the disease is identified the FM doctor will then use nutrition, exercise, supplementation, natural proven procedures, and pharmaceuticals as a last resort for treating the ailment (and typically never as a permanent fix). The patient is then required to stick to their agreed upon plan and make it happen (similar concept of a pickup boot camp). From here the patient will go in for a follow up appointment when test results come in and adjust the plan accordingly thereafter until disease is cured or symptoms are substantially lessened.

That is the basics of functional medicine.

What I Need From FM Doctor

First and foremost I need a doctor with experience in uncovering the root causes of chronic fatigue and erectile dysfunction and has successfully been able to treat these diseases.

Questions:
>How many cases of CFS/ED have you encountered in your practice thus far?
>What results are you typically able to bring about in patients with these ailments?
>How confident are you that you'll be able to identify the root cause of my CFS/ED?
>How many years have you been practicing FM?
>Do you test the 3 areas of the body (hormonal, gastrointestinal, and detoxification)? If not what do you address?
>Do you test for candida, leaky gut syndrome, heavy metals, adrenal fatigue, and lyme disease in your practice if you were to believe that this were the cause of my disease?

Next I need to know the logistics of the operation.

Questions:
>What is cost per 1st appt. and follow up visits? (usually an hourly rate)
>How far out are you booked and how soon can I schedule an appt.?
>How are tests ordered and billed? (Screening to make sure the doctor isn't making money off of ordering tests)
>Is the doctor able to prescribe medication if need be? If not what is the procedure to do so?

Lastly I want to know the following questions:

>In the case you are unable to diagnose my disease and determine the root cause will I be able to have a refund for the time spent on the doctors time?

If anyone is actually reading this what would you ask??

Will keep posted as I make a decision. My goal is to get 10 leads of doctors who A) I can verify have experience in CFS/ED B) have an online content base to learn their philosophy and personality C) have 10 years + experience D) I sense have the heart of a healer/teacher and not a marketer (gut reaction to their website, staff, content, etc) E) ideally have references/reviews/testimonials to either by WOM or at least online. These 10 leads will come from anywhere in the southeast region of the United States and from various parts of the region in question. Likely major cities in Florida, Atlanta GA, Texas, and Carolinas (some reason I trust those states more than Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana which are the most obese states in the nation).

What I want to Avoid

This is going to be a large investment of money and I want/need to make sure that I'm going to get an ROI on this investment.

I need to avoid getting suckered into thousands of dollars of testing just to find that the doctor was incompetent in ordering the right tests based on my symptoms (I can always get a 2nd opinion by another FM doctor before ordering the tests, consider it an insurance fee) since tests are the most expensive part of the whole charade.

I also need to avoid any doctor that doesn't have experience in treating the root cause of my disease when I learn what it is exactly. That will come once after the diagnosis in which I will need to question the doctor again on their experience in successfully treating the cause.

Over n out,

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Today was not fun.

I was extremely depressed today. Just overwhelmingly so. I think my hormones were just extra out of whack like my serotonin was dumped and on empty. Perhaps that was due to smoking weed last night but I typically don't feel that low of a comedown the day after of using. Anyway I started smoking the stuff to get rid of my problems not add to them so I think I'll stay away from the stuff for a bit.

After being awake for 2 hours I got out of bed and spent another 2 hours gathering motivation to leave the house to go work for a few hours.

After work I left and felt utterly consumed with indifference to life, was fatigued, and felt a deep sense of sadness that was quite overwhelming. I walked around the city park alone for a bit and then sat on the edge of the lake for a while watching the sun set behind the skyscrapers which I hoped would cheer me up but it didn't lol.

I planned that I would go out tonight just to make an effort to not be socially isolated and perhaps meet someone. I felt so depressed that it was painful to sit around and I felt better about myself by going out and at least just being in the environment of socializing.

I called a good friend before I went out and we caught up and had a great conversation which cheered me up a bit. I went out and had ZERO expectations for myself. The goal was to leave the house and maybe have a conversation with one girl.

I talked to 3 girls tonight in total (one of them was very cute) and pretty much just put in as little effort as I could and things didn't go all to well but I don't really care.

I left the venue feeling less sad and slightly proud for going out.

Life is fucking hard sometimes.

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Week In Review

OK so we left off on the last post last week being extremely low energy, messed up depression/anxiety, and feeling very sick and lethargic overall.

Starting last Monday night at around 7-8PM I experienced a turnaround. So much so that I genuinely had enough energy to go out that night when a friend called to my favorite venue in town. I met a super gorgeous TV commercial actress with her masters degree and we spent more or less of the night together but I did not pull her from the venue. Pretty interesting story to tell on this one but I'll save the details for another day.

This girl is typically a higher caliber of woman than I'm used to talking with (not so much that I don't approach high caliber women but I just don't think Orlando, FL has an abundance of high caliber women). Much more beautiful, fashion was much more put together, and intellect/personality was much higher on average that the women I'm typically used to talking with. I was inches close to pulling her but did a bad job of giving plausible deniability and leading strongly during that transition so she put up a hard "NO" and it didn't work out.

I didn't feel for a moment that she was out of my league and I more or less felt as if that is the type of girl I should be dating because we're both on the same level in our personal development. After hanging out with her and almost pulling a girl of her caliber I felt stupid for investing so much emotional energy into other lesser girls I've spent time chasing in the past. Now I have more of a defined benchmark when meeting women out and about.

Functional Medicine Doctor Search

I went with one FM doctor in my city for a 1st appt. but I did not like his business/sales presentation he had set up for me and I don't trust him (even if he can heal me) so I'm continuing my search and am now more vigilant in my screening process.

Currently my best options I'm looking at include:
A) Dr. Mark Hymen's clinics recommendation in Ft. Lauderdale
B) Dr. Nikogosian in Las Vegas
C) Dr. Rosen in Boca Raton, FL
D) Dr. Julie in Tampa, FL

I'm starting to find that I like the FM institutes that have staff and Doctors that I speak with on the phone that do not get pushy at all with their sales side of things and are genuinely educating me on their practice. So far I've liked talking to option B) Dr. Nikogosian the best as he personally spent 30 minutes on the phone with me and I could tell he was 100% genuine and I could trust him not to see my treatment from a profit perspective. The only thing I do not like about him is that he only has 7 years of experience in FM and that also he specializes in Autism and not so much CFS/ED.

Here Is a Good Business Idea

Trying to find a good FM doctor without paying to do the 1st appointment and testing (typically $2,500) with each doctor to see for myself if they are any good or not is extremely difficult to do. There are little to no ratings/reviews on any FM doctors, its impossible to know from doing the free 15 minute phone calls with doctors, hard to figure based on convo's with doctors staff, and the FM institute search tool is terribly unfriendly to use. Also the FMI search tool only recommends FM doctors that have gone through their training but from what I hear going through their tuition does not necessarily equate to being a skilled FM doctor.

What would be extremely handy would be a website where you could simply put in your zipcode and pull up FM doctors with certified track records in curing x,y, and z ailments that have been proven by past patients (that have actually gone through the full treatment process and come out better on the other side with said doctor) to be skilled in their practice. Also on this website would be a plethora of unbiased and detailed information on how to choose the best FM doctor for your unique situation and educate people on the inn's/outs's and hidden truths of the industry. Lastly the organization running this site would have an entire team dedicated towards educating the masses that FM is a solution to chronic disease, making FM more affordable and having insurance companies accept FM patients, and also just progressing the industry to become more mainstream.

I always come up with new potential business ideas and never have the time to get started (because the main thing I'm working on right now is my health) but this could potentially be what I choose to build after I come out on the other end of this health thing in a year or so.

Benefits of this business:
1. This is currently a highly valuable service not currently being provided AT ALL in FM. (easy chance to be industry leader if tool is designed properly)
2. FM industry is in adolescent stages and will only begin to grow as time goes on
3. Promotes the FM movement and will give people that are sick as hell and scared hope and reassurance in picking a FM doctor so they do not waste money in getting treatment
4. Helps skilled FM doctors get their name out and get more business to help establish their practice
5. Weeds out the wheat from the chaff (if a doctor is not on this site then they will be considered trash/unskilled doctors and have trouble competing with the skilled doctors) so that people get the best treatment possible for roughly the same expenditure of money

Drawbacks of this business:
1. Very difficult to design a good tool such as this (think of all the other crappy doctor review tools such as webMD, healthgrades, and vitals that are confusing and do not inspire trust)
2. Potentially very costly to high a skilled developer that would have the skills to build/maintain such a tool
3. Where does the revenue for the business come from? Whats the business model?
4. May be difficult to get doctors on board and allowing the team to interview their past patients and giving us the time of day to do so

Anyway this is my update for the week. Will continue to keep hammering out FM doctor search.

Over n out

-Rob