Journal of the WindsofChange

[windsofchange]

A little intro:

- I am an ethnic minority.
- I don't own alot money at the moment.

I have however, been sporadically approaching women for the past little while, but more in spurts (ie bits and pieces). A forum member, ray_zorse advised me to take massive action to unblock the mental barriers preventing me from living the free DMC attitude.

So to hold myself accountable, I will use this journal chronicling my moves as I journey to become of one of the lovers that can make both myself (and women) enjoy having met me.

Some past approaches:

- Approached a woman on the street who was engaged, seemed quite flattered at the interest I had taken in her. Pulled out without putting much effort into comfort building, but at least an approach was made.
- Approached a woman sitting down, she was married, but she also was flattered, and actually invited me to continue talking. I kinda felt like kicking myself for not asking for contact info before I left, and she did seem disappointed at leaving her so suddenly.

Positives so far:

- My original fear of my ethnic origin hasn't gotten me completely blown out rejected yet, so that's something!
- Talking is easy, following through needs work.


Things to improve:

- Looks, fundamentals, and especially inner game.

 

[windsofchange]

Update of the day:

I've noticed usually when walking, I tend to walk around people. And when I walk around people, I tend to cower (or try to come off as don't notice me I'm nobody). So today, I tried to see if I could find a way to fix this.

Two things I notice:

- People start walking towards me, I cower to the side to appear docile and not invite conflict.
- People standing in my walk, I cower to the side to appear docile and not invite conflict.

Today I tried:

- People walk towards me, I stop. I don't flinch, I don't cower, just stop. Interestingly enough, people walk around me, leaving the way free.
- People standing in my walk, I gently or politely just say 'excuse me'. Interestingly enough, they allow me to walk through.

It was only for a short time, so its not quite proof of anything. But there might be something here.

 

[theemann31]

Piece of advice about walking here, everyday I walk around my college campus which has narrow sidewalks that many people walk on. I have noticed that if I:
-Keep my chin high
-Have a small sexy smile on my face (lowered eye brows and eye lids, puckered lips, smiling slightly on only my right side)
-Pull my shoulders back and puff out my chest, standing as tall as I can (imagine a fishing hook pulling up on your sternum)
-Swagger my shoulders up and down (a noticeable amount) and swing my arms (not too much)
-Hold eye contact with the person approaching me

The person damn near always gets the hell out of my path and acknowledges me, try this as it is perfect posture and girls are very attracted to it

 

[windsofchange]

Turning my smile into a sexy smile is quite an interesting challenge, but I will succeed at it.

I stand up tall, but it's cold so with a puffy jacket, it doesn't show off my chest as well I would like. Indoors I just take it off so it's not an issue.

A couple of approaches were done today. First, I was feeling a bit low from other factors, and I kept kicking myself for not approaching. I made a goal of trying to approach 5, only managed 3.

Results:

- One just walked away, as if I was a lower life form. That actually seemed to boost my energy and mood though, which made approaching the latter two a bit simpler.
- Approached the second one, but in trying to wait for other people to get out of the way, may have stalled a bit too much. Had to come back after asking a question to compliment open, turns out it didn't go so well, but worth a shot. Was a nice learning experience.
- The third was a direct opener, and I attempted to eject right after, but a conversation broke out so I stuck around. That was enjoyable.

Points to Fix:

- Next time, make sure to talk to other people to warm up.
- Make sure not to get addicted to rejection. It seems to get me fired up, but I don't want to rely on that as a crutch where I need to look for rejection to get into 'state'.

 

[windsofchange]

Hey my old thread still exists. So bump (6 years later!).

What's up all? In the span of a few years I've gone from: low experience to quite a bit of sex partners (mainly from online game through a combination of an anonymous app called "Whisper" and Snapchat). Usually meeting them on the former and transitioning to the latter. Gotten over 30 lays on that + lots of sexting / nudes from other people who sometimes live further away. Even had a long term relationship and 2 decently long term fuck buddies out of it.

But with the app now showing more and more diminishing returns, and full of scams / bots, felt I should try and get daygame handled finally. I really need to hold myself accountable for the journey so what better place than here?

Here are some approaches I did lately:

Approach 1: Offering drinks to two older ladies
The common idiom is to not offer drinks to girls you're courting. In this case I was in a festive mood right before Christmas (and before the bars shut down over here) that I was buying for a few friends so I also offered to the two ladies. One of whom I had met a few days earlier (wasn't my type at all, but she was fun to talk to); the other was definitely my type. Older, curvy asian with a cute face.

They invited me to drink with them, so seeing as how my friends also decided to leave at that point I sat with them. I sat next to the one I was interested in; and started having small talk with the two of them, probably giving 50/50 attention to both. The one across the table kept getting phone calls from another girl friend of theirs they were trying to invite over ; so I took the chance to talk to mine more and do a little deep diving, few compliance tests (showing me her necklace, jewerly, etc). I tried to get closer and put my hands over her shoulder, which she allowed but only for a bit then she moved.

So I pulled back and started talking more to the other girl. I brought attention back to the girl I was going for slowly and tried to feel out logistics / plans for later (She was going to work and unfortunately was going with her friend). Got their facebook contacts and they left.

Approach 2: Cute Cashier with pickup line
This was a more spontaneous approach. I was at the supermarket picking up a few things for a family dinner when I noticed the cashier was pretty cute. So I approached:

Her: "How are you going to pay sir?"
Me: "With your beautiful eyes that feel like they're reading my soul."

I had a laid back smiling attitude while delivering the line and I think she went speechless. Don't quite rememeber what I said after but in the interim I had taken out my phone to pay with it; and she commented on the color (girls seem to find it interesting that I have a rose gold iPhone cover -> peacocking success!). This led to a bit of a flirty conversation as I tried to guess her ethnicity.

I made a mistake here as she pointed out a coworker that was that ethnicity and my head jerked back. At this point I felt it got past the point, and the line was starting to get bigger behind me so I paid and left.

Approach 3: Cashier at Gas Station
Cute 19 year old black girl;
Me: "Excuse me but you are really cute." (Direct)
Her: *Blushed* "thank you".

Exchanged names, had some pleasantries and I left. I saw her a few times after and eventually got her number, but I feel like I should've done it at the first meet since we were vibing really well. When I first told her I'd see her again, she said "I hope so!" (Shit!)

Approach 4: Girl in line behind me at coffee shop
Noticed her unique looking necklace, with the name of the company I used to work at. Ka ching! I opened up a convo asking about it and we got into a good rapport conversation. Very friendly but I could sense some tension in male/female dymanics. When it came time to order my coffee, I got it and said goodbye, but her reaction I could tell was disappointed I didn't ask her number or something. (Opportunity!)

Approach 5 + 6: Girl walking through metro station / mall
An opener that seems to walk, especially if the girl is walking slowly, confidently and/or swaying her hips seems to be: "This might sound really random, but I notice you walk like a model and wanted to say hi".

Both times, they, of course, denied being a model but we spoke a bit about what she does, etc. I got compliance asking her to show me her bracelets, watch, but instead of "hooking", she ends up "having to go" and leaves without much fuss. Twice the same exact routine.

Approach 7: Successful lay, but not even close to my standards!
Like approach #1, I offered shots to my friends, and to not make her feel left out to a lady behind us. This lady ended up coming up and hugging my friends and I and putting her arm around my shoulder. I'm like why not, and match her energy. She suddenly starts feeling up my ass; I look at her, and decide to repay the favor. She whispers "lets get out of here".

This woman is much older, definitely not my type, but the alcohol had really hit me, and I was in a deeper dry spell, so I went with it. Before we got to my car she was already feeling up my dick, but I got her to my car and did the deed. Very sloppy, very eh, but pussy is pussy. I went back to the bar after and she went home.

Funny Approach #8:
This one I'm amazed it even happened; I saw this one girl walking on the street to the corner store. Curvy girl with tight white pants that really accentuates her "assets down there".

Unsure what possessed me but I walked up to her to her side, got her attention, and said: "Wow nice ass". As soon as I realized what I said, I expected a slap, but she laughed.

Unfortunately I didn't react well as I stood there shellshocked and she went in the store. When she came back I got her number but obviously she flaked. Felt like I screwed up a sure thing over here. But makes for a funny story.

Approach 9: Gym approach
Now this isn't a recommend thing to do but sometimes it can work. We were working out close to each other and I was using a machine she wanted so she asked me if I was nearly done. This started us talking, and we spoke about workouts. Eventually I got her number and we've been texting, but the gyms shut down due to Covid again. Trying to get her out as soon as possible.

Noted opportunities:
- Lots of conversations are being started, but unless the girl is "seated", don't have time to "hook"; especially the ones moving.
- The frames stay rigid; I sometimes am very nervous before some approaches despite having done this 100s of times, and I forget to move the frame from friendly to sexual.
- I am a "silent extrovert" so I'm sociable but my voice, due to nervousness or confidence doesn't carry weight so lots of times sounds like mumbling leading me to repeat myself. Not attractive.
- Easily adopting the other person's personality instead of keeping my own.
- Conversations don't turn emotional ; I need to have more emotionally charged stories to share to get them emotional then sexual.
- Calibration calibration calibration. Definitely a sore spot and needing to work on.

If you guys note anything else in these, please let me know. All feedback appreciated.

 

[pancakemouse]

All feedback appreciated.

I don't know what sort of time period these were from, but if you want to get good at daygame and get any sort of momentum with it you need to approach with volume. Minimum 10 approaches per day. Ideal is 40-60 per day.

 

[Beam]

I don't know what sort of time period these were from, but if you want to get good at daygame and get any sort of momentum with it you need to approach with volume. Minimum 10 approaches per day. Ideal is 40-60 per day.

Uh, are you talking about DG or NG? Because those are ridiculously unrealistic numbers for DG (40 - 60 per day?). 10 per day is achievable but would hardly call that the minimum to get good momentum going. Maybe around 4 would be the minimum if you're focusing on upskilling ala Chases 4 a day for 30 days challenge.

 

[pancakemouse]

Uh, are you talking about DG or NG? Because those are ridiculously unrealistic numbers for DG (40 - 60 per day?). 10 per day is achievable but would hardly call that the minimum to get good momentum going. Maybe around 4 would be the minimum if you're focusing on upskilling ala Chases 4 a day for 30 days challenge.

I'm talking about daygame.

I can't even be mad, really, because this attitude is emblematic of the poverty of imagination endemic in the community, and the reason why Game has the shallowest skill pyramid (e.g. most guys stuck at the beginner level) of any aptitude I've ever practiced.

When Steph Curry wanted to be a better shooter, did he go to the gym for an hour and fuck around, put up 50 shots, then pat himself on the back for trying and hit the showers?

No, although unsurprisingly, I know many players that never made it past the junior varsity level in middle school that followed this same routine. No, Steph is notorious for shooting 500 shots a day during the offseason.

This is a skill game. Just like poker. Just like chess. Just like sports.

Getting better at any skill game requires consistent, chunked repetition. Is it any surprise why yer man is still languishing at the beginner level six years later?

Presumably most of us reading live in urban areas. Even if not, presumably there's a mall or shopping district with at least a modicum of street volume.

Go there for the requisite amount of time to approach 40 women with the minimum amount of attractiveness required for you to bang them.

Most rejections will be blowouts and deflections, especially as a beginner. These take about 15 seconds of your time.

Then, you'll have five one or two minute sets where she's rushing off.

Then, a few five to ten minute sets and maybe an instadate.

In urban areas, this shouldn't take longer than 4-5 hours. Yes, this is the amount of time you should be devoting to this skill if you want to become advanced in any sort of reasonable timeframe.

If you aren't willing to devote that much time, ask yourself why you're comfortable languishing in mediocrity for arguably the most important skill you'll ever learn in your life (fulfilling your evolutionary destiny).

 

[windsofchange]

I'm talking about daygame.

I can't even be mad, really, because this attitude is emblematic of the poverty of imagination endemic in the community, and the reason why Game has the shallowest skill pyramid (e.g. most guys stuck at the beginner level) of any aptitude I've ever practiced.

When Steph Curry wanted to be a better shooter, did he go to the gym for an hour and fuck around, put up 50 shots, then pat himself on the back for trying and hit the showers?

No, although unsurprisingly, I know many players that never made it past the junior varsity level in middle school that followed this same routine. No, Steph is notorious for shooting 500 shots a day during the offseason.

This is a skill game. Just like poker. Just like chess. Just like sports.

Getting better at any skill game requires consistent, chunked repetition. Is it any surprise why yer man is still languishing at the beginner level six years later?

Presumably most of us reading live in urban areas. Even if not, presumably there's a mall or shopping district with at least a modicum of street volume.

Go there for the requisite amount of time to approach 40 women with the minimum amount of attractiveness required for you to bang them.

Most rejections will be blowouts and deflections, especially as a beginner. These take about 15 seconds of your time.

Then, you'll have five one or two minute sets where she's rushing off.

Then, a few five to ten minute sets and maybe an instadate.

In urban areas, this shouldn't take longer than 4-5 hours. Yes, this is the amount of time you should be devoting to this skill if you want to become advanced in any sort of reasonable timeframe.

If you aren't willing to devote that much time, ask yourself why you're comfortable languishing in mediocrity for arguably the most important skill you'll ever learn in your life (fulfilling your evolutionary destiny).

Punch straight to the ego but necessary.

You're right, volume is definitely lacking and I'm going to use this to keep myself accountable.

My goal:
- Approach 100 girls by end of month at minimum - no excuses. Lockdown or not
- Body language (eye contact / laid back) to keep an eye on
- Going from opener casual to emotionally charged conversations
- Gaining compliance and trying to move them.

 

[Beck Bass]

Uh, are you talking about DG or NG? Because those are ridiculously unrealistic numbers for DG (40 - 60 per day?).

Even for night game those numbers are nuts, unless you're hitting multiple venues and approaching pretty much every single girl there lmao

 

[pancakemouse]

Even for night game those numbers are nuts, unless you're hitting multiple venues and approaching pretty much every single girl there lmao

Assuming you're in a high-volume city, the bolded part of your post should be the nightly objective.

This is a numbers game. If you haven't pulled yet, why would you ever stop approaching viable sets?

In New York City, I approach 30-50 sets a night between three different venues and street game/gutter game. An approach can be anything from a compliment and then eject to set up a reapproach later, a quick blowout or rejection, and indirect group approach, all the way up to venue moves and failed pulls.

And before a bunch of dudes come out of the woodwork to yell "spam approach," these are done in a surreptitious way that doesn't arouse attention. You're the "social guy", not the PUA.

 

[Beck Bass]

This is a numbers game. If you haven't pulled yet, why would you ever stop approaching viable sets?

Exactly. If you're approaching nearly half a hundred girls and you still gotta nada, there must be something reaaaally wrong going on, right?
That's my opinion of course. I barely do any daygame, and from what I read here, there's way more volume involved to get results, for the most part (since many girls simply are not single, as opposed to online/ng where more chicks are single for obvious reasons), but in night game target selection and timing to approach are king. Shotgun approaching can be fun, if you're in the right mood for it, but a bunch of rejections in a row can really rock your mood and make your next approaches pretty much garanteed nope's. Of course some people are more state dependent than others, but I think there's no easier way than burn yourself out of the desire to seduce girls than to approach a shitton of girls and have it go south. In my opinion, having a balanced routine of approaching fewer, more selected women will pay off more in the end, because even if that's a numbers game, we still just humans and our time and resources are limited. If don't live in a huuuge city, for example, you may get rejected by a girl, them find her again in a better situation to approach, and end up not approaching or being rejected again just because of the negative compliance you got from the first time, where you approached just for the sake of approaching.
Of course, if you're a beginner, put in your approaches no matter what, because you can't even know what a good situation to approach will look like, or have the experience to act on it, and even as an intermediate or advanced guy, definitely err more to the side of approaching than not doing it, but simply racking up rejections will do you no good, either, with such high numbers, it will be even hard to tell what exactly are your sticking points, your mood and the external factors will vary so much over that time that any reason you try to make out of it may be futile...

 

[sab]

It's not always possible to do these high numbers, even in large cities. You really need to be in a super dense city with tourist attractions. You really need a combination of factors: weather (cold/warm/rain...), time of the day (sunset on a beach, day or night), time of the year (summer vs winter) etc...You need the mindset and stamina to go with it. I agree it's a number game and very beneficial at the beginning. And think about the logistics beforehand. The way to do it is to take some time off and visit these big cities NYC, Miami, London, Montreal etc. and practice there. Avoid sprawling cities LA, Dallas,...

 

[windsofchange]

Dry Day - Day 1
I had to meet a few people for a meet up so I tried to do some approaches beforehand.

Walked a few usually busy streets and mall walkways but is very very dead. Covid panic has returned and quasi-lockdown / everyone working from home / schools closed / holiday season. Only achieved three approaches but think can learn from them:

Warm up Approach - Talking to cashier as I was buying a charger ; Used this one as a warm up to talk slow and try to speak with more tonality. I actually had to return because I bought the wrong one. So two for one (the one I talked to was a new employee being trained).

Approach 1 - Chick in Line at Coffee Shop
- Girl was standing in line, instead of approaching from behind, I walked around slowly without looking at her until I came up to her side / in front and took a glance. As soon as she noticed me, I used a genuine compliment opener - her earings had really caught my eye. Lots of nervousness in this chat, hesitation on my part. Still self conscious about the depth of my voice.

Approach 2 - Hot Ethiopian Chick
- Girl walking in my direction ; I walked until I was about to her side, looked at her and kinda / sorta waved at her / got her attention. She stopped, looked at me, took off her earbuds and I went in with a direct, but genuine compliment (hair). Despite the mask, she smiled. Make a cold read on her ethinicity, she asked mine, and as we talked in this basic stuff, she was moving to the side as we were in the middle of the walkway in the mall, so I gently got her to move to the side with me. Attempted to reward with more attention and smiling; she at this point mentioned being married / was still there talking so I tried to get her to move with me to see a Christmas tree that wasn't far.

She politely declined saying she had to go to work fast and we said our goodbyes. Maybe I should've done a "just 5 minutes won't be long" persistence play?

Approach 3 - Cute mask
- Cute girl smoking outside. Slow to act and she was walking inside but I had gotten ahead, so held the door open behind me and as she walked through, I took a look at her and told her "I love the mask". She smiled, thanked me and went left as I went right.

Approach 4 + 5
- Direct approached 2 girls telling them they caught my eye / were pretty / direct blowouts.
- One even directly asked me "what do you want" - throwing me off balance / frame when I was already in my head.

Observations
- Still well in my head about my voice. I've never been one to be able to properly enunciate or project my voice, so it either comes across as very softspoken or mumbling, and people routinely ask me to repeat what I'm saying. Really need to find a voice coach it seems at this rate.
- Getting better at stopping moving targets without jumping right away into their personal space; but find it more difficult to close that space later on.
- Conversations in day game continue to be very surface level (despite some cold reads).
- Regret of not approaching some -> still not approaching all the potential I want to approach but quickly caught myself starting a negative spiral and put an end to it.

 

[pancakemouse]

Observations
- Still well in my head about my voice. I've never been one to be able to properly enunciate or project my voice, so it either comes across as very softspoken or mumbling, and people routinely ask me to repeat what I'm saying. Really need to find a voice coach it seems at this rate.

Watch this. I've winged with this guy before, he's solid. He's also a trained actor:

 

[windsofchange]

Watch this. I've winged with this guy before, he's solid. He's also a trained actor:

Hey thanks I’ll definitely try these more habitually

 

[windsofchange]

Another dry approach day (5 only)

Approach 1 - Cleaning woman
Vibe totally off; she said "no thanks".

Approach 2 + 3 - 2 sisters
- Approach indirect by assuming their ethnicity / origin ; they correct me.
- Assume they are sisters (they are!)
- Voice much better; lots of pauses as they talked.
- Lie about being from out of town (fear? or fun? => mix of both?)
- Had a half full bottle of alcohol that I offered them ( was planning on throwing it out / used as excuse to show them my place -> very surprised it worked)
- Their mom was waiting so gave one soft attempt to overturn rebuttal then used their phones to call myself (number close)
- Later they gave me a call and left a very hard to decipher voicemail; texted them to inquire / no reply yet.

Approach 4 - Coffee Shop Girl
- Completely ignored my one attempt (voice maybe?)
- Didn't try to persist ; moved away

Approach 5 - Moving street girl
- Saw/heard this girl with the tightest red pants across the street.
- Looked at my phone until she got closer then approached from in front / side
- Indirectly opened "i noticed your voice across the street....your voice sounded *European country*"
- Eyes lit up but corrected me.
- Short back and forth but made mistake asking if she was going for work ; she replied she was just finishing and had to go.
- Couldn't come up with quick rebuttal
- To note: the street was slanted with like a metal bar ; so she was for all purposes standing "above" and me "below" to give an idea.

Observations:
- Indirect openers are gold
- Opener to hook needs work
- Hit or miss with then nervousness (if only it was easy to transfer my online anonymous app skills to daygame, eh?)
- Style way off (but doesn't seem to have changed anything!)

 

[pancakemouse]

Approaching a 2-set definitely only counts as one approach

Indirect is great if you're only doing five sets a day... I'd like to see you get to 20 sets a day ideally, then you'll need to go direct.

 

[windsofchange]

Approaching a 2-set definitely only counts as one approach

Indirect is great if you're only doing five sets a day... I'd like to see you get to 20 sets a day ideally, then you'll need to go direct.

I figured as much lol.

i was about to say the volume it’s due to COVID and fear; but realized it’s just a “fake because” excuse to justify inaction. Learning game really is learning to best express and sell oneself, eh?; can only do it if we know ourselves inside out.

I forgot to mention, confidently waving women over and/or using hand/body language to stop them is like magic. They actually stop! Why was I so worried about doing this before today?!?