Hi all, about a month ago started getting back into game. I do around 5 approaches daily, 7 days a week rain or shine. Ultimate goal is to be able to get to the point where I can take a girl from approach > instadate > lay during the day. Basically what people try to do during nightgame but during the day.
41 y/o, 6'1, fit, blah blah blah.
Gonna post my field reports in here for critique and to keep myself accountable. Any insights you have are appreciated esp if you are good at same day lays from daygame.
Also, one thing that I want to throw out there for guys who are struggling, something I've found has helped tremendously with my confidence is nofap. Went from once a day (before bed) to maybe once a week and the difference is striking. Although there are drawbacks, it def makes sessions easier.
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Field report 11/20
Intro:
Approaches are getting much easier for me because I am much better at relaxing in set and just doing a high value ramble for the first few minutes until they feel comfortable. Like I don't even give a fuck what they say, my goal is to just fucking talk and say whtaetever i think is interesting for the first minute or so until I get them to hook and they don't want to leave.
So I got to brickell and started heading towards starbucks, as I normally do. I always tel myself I'll do an approach on the way but I don't always do it. Usually my excuse is that I'm tired and that I desperately need to get to starbucks to get some caffeine. Sometimes that's legitimate but still I feel like I should still do an approach on the way, if nothing else it might be an opportunity for an instadate.
But anyway yesterday I didn't do it.
First set:
As I walked into starbucks I saw a cute girl with glasses sitting at a table outside. Once I got my drink I approached her and told her she was cute and that she had some kind of librarian look. She gave me this kind of nervous smile side eye like... ok, thank you? Maybe I forgot to tell her she was cute I don't remember.
2nd set was me running after a girl who turned out to be Moroccan. She was wearing a big t-shirt and baggy jeans and I teased her on it. She was into it, but again I forgot to show any intent or premise at all. I mentioned it to my wing yesterday but I feel like the more comfortable I get, the less I go direct. Which is a nice extra skill to have, but it sometimes leads to me getting into vibe convos with girls and they're thinking "ok this is fun, but why are you talking to me." I have to remember to throw some intent in there.
Anyway I didn't with this chick and she was like "ok thx bye" after a bit of banter.
Next chick I approached was at a crosswalk, she was holding a little clutch purse that when I looked at it at first I thought it was a cardboard sign. Which was weird because she was dressed very well. I told her about my observation and she politely laughed and made a comment. She seemed nervous and I realized that she wasn't as cute as I thought after I made my comment, so I let it go.
Fourth approach was an elegantly dressed girl I passed on the street. Great body, super fit, wearing a long backless gown with some sandals. I turned around and ran after her. She had earphones in and was looking down at her phone, meanwhile I am matching her pace and talking to her for a solid 5 seconds before she even noticed I was there. Then she looked up and was super surprised I was actually there. She pulled her earbud out and I told her I wanted to tell her dog that her owner was cute. Made a comment on her outfit like hwere are you going? She said she was just going to walk her dog, I was like ok that's interesting. Assumed she was in fashion, chatted a bit more, then she dropped the "oh yeah before I was married I blah blah blah..." Didn't see the ring apparently. She seemed like she enjoyed talking to me and maybe I could have pushed for an instadate, but I decided to let it go.
Headed back to the mall, saw another cutie walking and caught up to her. I think she was also "underdressed" wearing some baggy clothes that girls wear when they shop. Anyway, caught up to her and started rambling. She was smiling and seemed to enjoy it, but I did get the "i have a boyfriend" comment pretty early. In situations like this, sometimes I will make a comment and say, "ok I want you to deliver a message to your boyfriend, tell him he's really lucky and he has good taste." I said that to her and she ate it up. Normally after that I'm used to a polite thank you and bye, but this chick just kind of stood around until I was like, "ok, well nice meeting you, bye." Thinking back she had this look on her face like she wanted me to keep going.
Finally, last approach and probably the best one, was another chick on the street. She passed me, so I turned around and caught up to her, did my little push pull opener of "hey I saw you walking and thought you were cute, but idk about that outfit." Something like that. Delivered with a smile you can get away with a lot. I pretended I was the fashion police and gave her a ticket for wearing sweatpants, slippers, and socks out of hte house in Miami. She was all about it.
Turns out she was just stepping out of her house to pick up some food, lives nearby. Chatted with her for a few minutes where I stopped her.. actually it was more than a few minutes. I think it might have been like 7-8 minutes, which is a long ass time for a street stop. She kept looking back towards her apartment building (which was across the street), but kept her feet planted, so I think she was like conflicted about leaving the conversation and staying in. After a bit I was like, "okay, well I'll walk you down to the end of the block." I'm very conscious of moving them after the stop if it seems like it's going to be a long convo, or at least not a short convo + number close. So we walked to the end of the block, and then across the street to where her building was. Then we chatted there a bit more. She made some comment about "do you stop a lot of girls on the street?" Honestly I don't remember what I said but I don't think I gave the best answer, I think I said some dumb shit like "only when I see girls with gray sweatpants" or something stupid.
So we walked a little further down the block, basically up to the entrance of her building, and continued chatting out there for at least five minutes. At some point she started talking about her psycho ex who was stalking her, texting her from burner numbers, etc. I asked when this was, thinking it had been months or something but she tells me it was only a few days ago. But she seemed very interested and now I'm wondering if I could have instadated her to do something with me.
My challenge with instadates is that I only eat 1 meal a day and I like to cook because I'm on a strict diet. So smoothies or impromptu visits to chipotle are kind of out of the question. But I can do coffee and tea pretty much any time, though since she had her bag of food with her I guess I bitched out.
Anyway at the end she was like, "well you can take my number and text me." Ok boss.
Also, as I was writing this I realized that there were a few interactions in here where I teased girls on wearing "casual" clothing. It's not like something I always do, but its' an easy tease here in Miami since everyone is usually so put together. Plus it helps soften the direct approach of "oh I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi." Plus you can also do it the opposite way as a push pull (pull push?).
Overall this type of session is pretty standard for me - solid interactions (unless I get blown out) even if the chick has a boyfriend and they seem to like talking to me.
The problems I'm running into is that yes I can get the number, but I have a hard time converting those into dates and even if I get them on a date I have a hard time getting the lay.
I think a big part of that is that my approaches seem very obvious and they must think, "oh he probably does this all the time" which sends their guard up especially if it's a day 2. So they get ready for the date and are like, "ok this guy is a player I'm going to make sure not to fuck him because I'm not a slut."
I literally have no idea, that's just me speculating. I'm not a bad looking guy and I always do dates walking distance to my house. And it's not like they go badly, I can shmooze with the best of them.
One thing I'd really like to work on is getting a lay from an approach during daygame. Like approach > instadate > lay all in the same session, no Day 2 or number or any of that shit. I think from now on I will screen for that in brickell when I go out. Like screen for what they are doing now, where they live/are staying, how compliant they are with an instadate, and just how down they seem.
To work on tomorrow:
1. Show intent in every set ("you're cute" push/pull)
2. Screen for logistics every set ("what are you doing right now/who are you here with/what are you doing after this")
3. Instadate all sets with good logistics to starbucks/coffee/tea
Anyway, I have a date tonight with a chick I met at trader joe's. Will see how that goes. Thanks for reading, will try to keep updating since I game daily.
41 y/o, 6'1, fit, blah blah blah.
Gonna post my field reports in here for critique and to keep myself accountable. Any insights you have are appreciated esp if you are good at same day lays from daygame.
Also, one thing that I want to throw out there for guys who are struggling, something I've found has helped tremendously with my confidence is nofap. Went from once a day (before bed) to maybe once a week and the difference is striking. Although there are drawbacks, it def makes sessions easier.
***
Field report 11/20
Intro:
Approaches are getting much easier for me because I am much better at relaxing in set and just doing a high value ramble for the first few minutes until they feel comfortable. Like I don't even give a fuck what they say, my goal is to just fucking talk and say whtaetever i think is interesting for the first minute or so until I get them to hook and they don't want to leave.
So I got to brickell and started heading towards starbucks, as I normally do. I always tel myself I'll do an approach on the way but I don't always do it. Usually my excuse is that I'm tired and that I desperately need to get to starbucks to get some caffeine. Sometimes that's legitimate but still I feel like I should still do an approach on the way, if nothing else it might be an opportunity for an instadate.
But anyway yesterday I didn't do it.
First set:
As I walked into starbucks I saw a cute girl with glasses sitting at a table outside. Once I got my drink I approached her and told her she was cute and that she had some kind of librarian look. She gave me this kind of nervous smile side eye like... ok, thank you? Maybe I forgot to tell her she was cute I don't remember.
2nd set was me running after a girl who turned out to be Moroccan. She was wearing a big t-shirt and baggy jeans and I teased her on it. She was into it, but again I forgot to show any intent or premise at all. I mentioned it to my wing yesterday but I feel like the more comfortable I get, the less I go direct. Which is a nice extra skill to have, but it sometimes leads to me getting into vibe convos with girls and they're thinking "ok this is fun, but why are you talking to me." I have to remember to throw some intent in there.
Anyway I didn't with this chick and she was like "ok thx bye" after a bit of banter.
Next chick I approached was at a crosswalk, she was holding a little clutch purse that when I looked at it at first I thought it was a cardboard sign. Which was weird because she was dressed very well. I told her about my observation and she politely laughed and made a comment. She seemed nervous and I realized that she wasn't as cute as I thought after I made my comment, so I let it go.
Fourth approach was an elegantly dressed girl I passed on the street. Great body, super fit, wearing a long backless gown with some sandals. I turned around and ran after her. She had earphones in and was looking down at her phone, meanwhile I am matching her pace and talking to her for a solid 5 seconds before she even noticed I was there. Then she looked up and was super surprised I was actually there. She pulled her earbud out and I told her I wanted to tell her dog that her owner was cute. Made a comment on her outfit like hwere are you going? She said she was just going to walk her dog, I was like ok that's interesting. Assumed she was in fashion, chatted a bit more, then she dropped the "oh yeah before I was married I blah blah blah..." Didn't see the ring apparently. She seemed like she enjoyed talking to me and maybe I could have pushed for an instadate, but I decided to let it go.
Headed back to the mall, saw another cutie walking and caught up to her. I think she was also "underdressed" wearing some baggy clothes that girls wear when they shop. Anyway, caught up to her and started rambling. She was smiling and seemed to enjoy it, but I did get the "i have a boyfriend" comment pretty early. In situations like this, sometimes I will make a comment and say, "ok I want you to deliver a message to your boyfriend, tell him he's really lucky and he has good taste." I said that to her and she ate it up. Normally after that I'm used to a polite thank you and bye, but this chick just kind of stood around until I was like, "ok, well nice meeting you, bye." Thinking back she had this look on her face like she wanted me to keep going.
Finally, last approach and probably the best one, was another chick on the street. She passed me, so I turned around and caught up to her, did my little push pull opener of "hey I saw you walking and thought you were cute, but idk about that outfit." Something like that. Delivered with a smile you can get away with a lot. I pretended I was the fashion police and gave her a ticket for wearing sweatpants, slippers, and socks out of hte house in Miami. She was all about it.
Turns out she was just stepping out of her house to pick up some food, lives nearby. Chatted with her for a few minutes where I stopped her.. actually it was more than a few minutes. I think it might have been like 7-8 minutes, which is a long ass time for a street stop. She kept looking back towards her apartment building (which was across the street), but kept her feet planted, so I think she was like conflicted about leaving the conversation and staying in. After a bit I was like, "okay, well I'll walk you down to the end of the block." I'm very conscious of moving them after the stop if it seems like it's going to be a long convo, or at least not a short convo + number close. So we walked to the end of the block, and then across the street to where her building was. Then we chatted there a bit more. She made some comment about "do you stop a lot of girls on the street?" Honestly I don't remember what I said but I don't think I gave the best answer, I think I said some dumb shit like "only when I see girls with gray sweatpants" or something stupid.
So we walked a little further down the block, basically up to the entrance of her building, and continued chatting out there for at least five minutes. At some point she started talking about her psycho ex who was stalking her, texting her from burner numbers, etc. I asked when this was, thinking it had been months or something but she tells me it was only a few days ago. But she seemed very interested and now I'm wondering if I could have instadated her to do something with me.
My challenge with instadates is that I only eat 1 meal a day and I like to cook because I'm on a strict diet. So smoothies or impromptu visits to chipotle are kind of out of the question. But I can do coffee and tea pretty much any time, though since she had her bag of food with her I guess I bitched out.
Anyway at the end she was like, "well you can take my number and text me." Ok boss.
Also, as I was writing this I realized that there were a few interactions in here where I teased girls on wearing "casual" clothing. It's not like something I always do, but its' an easy tease here in Miami since everyone is usually so put together. Plus it helps soften the direct approach of "oh I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi." Plus you can also do it the opposite way as a push pull (pull push?).
Overall this type of session is pretty standard for me - solid interactions (unless I get blown out) even if the chick has a boyfriend and they seem to like talking to me.
The problems I'm running into is that yes I can get the number, but I have a hard time converting those into dates and even if I get them on a date I have a hard time getting the lay.
I think a big part of that is that my approaches seem very obvious and they must think, "oh he probably does this all the time" which sends their guard up especially if it's a day 2. So they get ready for the date and are like, "ok this guy is a player I'm going to make sure not to fuck him because I'm not a slut."
I literally have no idea, that's just me speculating. I'm not a bad looking guy and I always do dates walking distance to my house. And it's not like they go badly, I can shmooze with the best of them.
One thing I'd really like to work on is getting a lay from an approach during daygame. Like approach > instadate > lay all in the same session, no Day 2 or number or any of that shit. I think from now on I will screen for that in brickell when I go out. Like screen for what they are doing now, where they live/are staying, how compliant they are with an instadate, and just how down they seem.
To work on tomorrow:
1. Show intent in every set ("you're cute" push/pull)
2. Screen for logistics every set ("what are you doing right now/who are you here with/what are you doing after this")
3. Instadate all sets with good logistics to starbucks/coffee/tea
Anyway, I have a date tonight with a chick I met at trader joe's. Will see how that goes. Thanks for reading, will try to keep updating since I game daily.
