FR Just 2 approaches but I noticed a pattern

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

1st approach was at my college campus in the cafeteria. I walked up to her and complimented her highlights. she was polite and said thank you, from then on I was just trying to make conversation but she wasn't biting. I was putting in so much effort and she was putting in so little effort. the dynamic was off so I dipped, "oh it was nice meeting you".
Honestly its embarrassing when interactions go like this. I feel like a fool. The only thing I can say to myself to preserve my mindset is that I'm doing what most guys don't have the balls to do.

2nd approach was at the mall. I was numb as fuck since I had just done a massive workout prior, it feels good to be sedated while doing approaches, you don't have physical anxiety but the mental anxiety is still there. Anyways, I was behind a girl we were both walking in the same direction and I lightly jogged up to her so I was beside her. I said my usual line, "oh I think you look really good today" and she was chill, like last time, neutral vibe from her, so again I had a hard time engaging her and the dynamic was kinda lopsided, like an interview almost. I realized this wasn't going anywhere and decided to dip. Could be that I don't have the confidence to keep going, maybe if I stick around long enough she'll talk more? Idk how this works, that's why I'm asking you guys.

So anyways the pattern is that I'm not able to engage the girl, I've realized this happens most of the time. There was one approach I did last week where the girl was instantly interested. I don't think I did anything special I just think I had good luck. Does approaching work where you can only bang the ones that instantly interested in you, or is it possible through skills to get a neutral girl interested in you. Ive been wondering that.

Also a lot of my approaches, I'll see a girl from afar and I think she's hot but then when I go to approach I get a better look and realize I'm not that interested in her. Hector said my eyes would get better, but I'm near sighted so I'm not so sure about that. Maybe I should wear my glasses when I go to approach. Any other near sighted guys have this problem?

I approached a girl just now, but she was on a zoom call, not sure if that's worth mentioning. lol

 

[Starboy]

Hey buddy good you're going out and trying props for that. I suggested that you compile your outings in a journal because these are brief reports and it doesn't make sense to create an entire field report just for that. I know you want feedback, but if you keep posting a new field report every single time you go out nobody's gonna wanna read it. Also just imagine if every single person made an entire field report for their outing the whole board would be flooded with them.

The first approach that wasn't bad it's ballsy approaching a girl in your college cafeteria you choose to compliment something she choose rather than just her face which is what a lot of guys do. When you compliment a girl try to add an insight if you can. This girl was wearing a yellow rugrats sweater and I said I like your sweater she said thanks very briefly and neutrally. Then I added it reminds me of a banana and it made her smile. Something like that helps you hook more. Not that it would've helped in your scenario the girl just wasn't in the mood. No need to be embarassed it's a part of learning don't compare yourself to anybody else. The only thing that matters is that you're better than who you were yesterday. This is why it's recommended to be a bit cautious of approaching too much on campus especially directly. You only did one so it's not a big deal. You seem to have some social awareness so you're not gonna overdo it if something isn't going well, but just something to keep in mind.

Second approach yeah you wanna make some cold reads and try more statements and comments to elicit responses from her than just questions. If she's willing to talk to you and has some interest she'll respond if not then she's not open to you. Yes you can turn neutral or so so girls into you that's what good game does. You're not limited to only the girls that are instantly into you, but when you're new and inexperienced these are the kind of girls you should be trying to get. If you have good fundamentals and look good these can be some hot girls.

To get girls sold on you you need to get investment from them which could be from getting her to share things about herself, asking her to do something for you, move with you etc. Sometimes if you spend enough time with a girl she might be cold/neutral at first, but later on she'll warm up and invest. If you open girls directly and she's not feeling you right away it's going to be harder to get her to open up.

I wear contacts and my eyesight is still not perfect, but I know which women I find attractive. Even if you don't find them that attractive as long as they're not butt ugly you should still approach for the reference experience. Don't be too picky a lot of guys including myself make that mistake. You should get contacts if you can glasses generally speaking make most men look less attractive.

Anyways hope this gives you some insight, keep making approaches, get more experience and go make that journal!

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Hey buddy good you're going out and trying props for that. I suggested that you compile your outings in a journal because these are brief reports and it doesn't make sense to create an entire field report just for that. I know you want feedback, but if you keep posting a new field report every single time you go out nobody's gonna wanna read it. Also just imagine if every single person made an entire field report for their outing the whole board would be flooded with them.

The first approach that wasn't bad it's ballsy approaching a girl in your college cafeteria you choose to compliment something she choose rather than just her face which is what a lot of guys do. When you compliment a girl try to add an insight if you can. This girl was wearing a yellow rugrats sweater and I said I like your sweater she said thanks very briefly and neutrally. Then I added it reminds me of a banana and it made her smile. Something like that helps you hook more. Not that it would've helped in your scenario the girl just wasn't in the mood. No need to be embarassed it's a part of learning don't compare yourself to anybody else. The only thing that matters is that you're better than who you were yesterday. This is why it's recommended to be a bit cautious of approaching too much on campus especially directly. You only did one so it's not a big deal. You seem to have some social awareness so you're not gonna overdo it if something isn't going well, but just something to keep in mind.

Second approach yeah you wanna make some cold reads and try more statements and comments to elicit responses from her than just questions. If she's willing to talk to you and has some interest she'll respond if not then she's not open to you. Yes you can turn neutral or so so girls into you that's what good game does. You're not limited to only the girls that are instantly into you, but when you're new and inexperienced these are the kind of girls you should be trying to get. If you have good fundamentals and look good these can be some hot girls.

To get girls sold on you you need to get investment from them which could be from getting her to share things about herself, asking her to do something for you, move with you etc. Sometimes if you spend enough time with a girl she might be cold/neutral at first, but later on she'll warm up and invest. If you open girls directly and she's not feeling you right away it's going to be harder to get her to open up.

I wear contacts and my eyesight is still not perfect, but I know which women I find attractive. Even if you don't find them that attractive as long as they're not butt ugly you should still approach for the reference experience. Don't be too picky a lot of guys including myself make that mistake. You should get contacts if you can glasses generally speaking make most men look less attractive.

Anyways hope this gives you some insight, keep making approaches, get more experience and go make that journal!

Alright, alright, I’ll make the journal. I just hope I get some replies on it. Great advice as always, starboy. I think I’m gonna reread a couple times to fully digest. Thanks

 

[Beck Bass]

Honestly its embarrassing when interactions go like this. I feel like a fool. The only thing I can say to myself to preserve my mindset is that I'm doing what most guys don't have the balls to do.

It happens me, even on nights where I got with the hottest girl of the place maybe I had an interaction where a girl made me feel like that. Don't take that personally.

Could be a million of things, maybe they are just not that attracted, and you gotta improve your fundamentals. Maybe you're bailing too quickly, you only really know if a girl is invested if you test for compliance (move her, ask her on a date, touch her, try to take her home).
@Starboy got a lot of good points there, and yeah, make a journal, people will be able to help you better like this, not only that, but you will be more analytical of your approaches and have more reference points in the future, your game will improve, for sure.

 

[HoofHearted]

Props on getting out there!!! I'm trying, too.

This is also what this is. You're not doing it wrong. In my experience, first steps into cold approach are like trying to grow crops on desolate earth. It's supposed to be hard!

My goal has been to have a sense of humor, let it change me for the better (into something that can win and compete in the world), and maybe even enjoy it... although it isn't enjoyable to fail, or walk around for a few hours not even finding anybody.

It seems to me that you would not have nearly enough data yet. 2 is not enough. Try 20 maybe? Most of them will fail most likely, I think. That's brutal but that's cold approach.

Your opener is a comment about them, and it isn't bad. I just wonder if changing it up a bit might help you more? In the cafeteria, you might comment on what she's eating.

"WOW! That chicken looks amazing!!"

That's what I do. I feel a lot of you guys i'm reading come in so hothothot, and that a defensive kneejerk decision might just be to send you away.

I sometimes like to come in hot, but man, the energy kinda needs to be right. So you might feel more comfortable coming in casual. Just get on the board, man, so we can at least play a little-- rather than insta neutral or no.

But again, it's probably too early and not enough data to tell or really make changes. Just kudos for getting out there and doing it, i know it sucks, i do it too. Just remember that statistically every failure is bringing success closer.

 

[Will_V]

1st approach was at my college campus in the cafeteria. I walked up to her and complimented her highlights. she was polite and said thank you, from then on I was just trying to make conversation but she wasn't biting. I was putting in so much effort and she was putting in so little effort. the dynamic was off so I dipped, "oh it was nice meeting you".
Honestly its embarrassing when interactions go like this. I feel like a fool. The only thing I can say to myself to preserve my mindset is that I'm doing what most guys don't have the balls to do.

2nd approach was at the mall. I was numb as fuck since I had just done a massive workout prior, it feels good to be sedated while doing approaches, you don't have physical anxiety but the mental anxiety is still there. Anyways, I was behind a girl we were both walking in the same direction and I lightly jogged up to her so I was beside her. I said my usual line, "oh I think you look really good today" and she was chill, like last time, neutral vibe from her, so again I had a hard time engaging her and the dynamic was kinda lopsided, like an interview almost. I realized this wasn't going anywhere and decided to dip. Could be that I don't have the confidence to keep going, maybe if I stick around long enough she'll talk more? Idk how this works, that's why I'm asking you guys.

So anyways the pattern is that I'm not able to engage the girl, I've realized this happens most of the time. There was one approach I did last week where the girl was instantly interested. I don't think I did anything special I just think I had good luck. Does approaching work where you can only bang the ones that instantly interested in you, or is it possible through skills to get a neutral girl interested in you. Ive been wondering that.

Also a lot of my approaches, I'll see a girl from afar and I think she's hot but then when I go to approach I get a better look and realize I'm not that interested in her. Hector said my eyes would get better, but I'm near sighted so I'm not so sure about that. Maybe I should wear my glasses when I go to approach. Any other near sighted guys have this problem?

I approached a girl just now, but she was on a zoom call, not sure if that's worth mentioning. lol

Try teasing her and being more playful. There's a difference between seducing a woman and talking to a stranger.

Instead of asking so many questions, comment on things, comment on her, her reaction to you, her appearance, her vibe, what kind of girl she seems like.

For example, 'so what are you up to today?' is a question you can ask anyone - man, woman, teenage, geriatric - it's just a social inquiry.

But for example even a basic comment like 'you seem like you're just chilling, do you always come here to do that?' with an engaging smile is not something you can say to anyone without a level of implied personal interest.

You're not out to get information for a survey, you're out to vibe with her, play around and tease her, that's what naturally progresses toward sex.

 

[switchblade]

Good job on approaching. That's all that matters, really.

In terms of girls not 'biting' or engaging and talking back etc, I personally think that that's just the way it is going to be in lots of interactions (unless you hit the genetic lottery or something lol) and there's nothing you can do about it other than accept it and move onto the next girl. If you've ever watched any pua products you'll find many many infields where even the best PUA's are getting ignored and rejected and they're powerless to turn the ship around. It truly is a numbers game.

I have a good lay count now and have slept with some cute girls, but I still have a lot of interactions like you describe where you open and try to pull out all of the tricks you've learnt from various PUA courses and books (the most common advice is things like cold reads and stacking assumptions, breaking rapport, asking 'interesting' questions etc) when she isn't hooking at all and seems to want the interaction to end, and it just doesn't help one iota. I think for a girl to properly engage you sort of need the perfect storm (Basically she thinks you're hot and She's naturally sociable and friendly with strangers. Your location/country can effect the 2nd one a lot in my experience)

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Try teasing her and being more playful. There's a difference between seducing a woman and talking to a stranger.

Instead of asking so many questions, comment on things, comment on her, her reaction to you, her appearance, her vibe, what kind of girl she seems like.

For example, 'so what are you up to today?' is a question you can ask anyone - man, woman, teenage, geriatric - it's just a social inquiry.

But for example even a basic comment like 'you seem like you're just chilling, do you always come here to do that?' with an engaging smile is not something you can say to anyone without a level of implied personal interest.

You're not out to get information for a survey, you're out to vibe with her, play around and tease her, that's what naturally progresses toward sex.

Last night I tried using statements instead of questions like u and star boy told me to do, and the interaction went much better, thank you guys. Also how do you tag/@ ppl on this platform?

 

[Beck Bass]

Last night I tried using statements instead of questions like u and star boy told me to do, and the interaction went much better, thank you guys. Also how do you tag/@ ppl on this platform?

Just write a @ and start typing the name and it should be suggested, then you click on the name... I think just writing the name next to the @ should work, but I noticed the forums actually use some user number to tag some it doesn't lose it (in case of a name change for example), but not sure...