FR Just One

[AsianPersuasion]

I intended to meet more women today at around six because that's when the car is free and I can go about and do my business. Unfortunately, the library my friend recommended that we go to for pick up was completely barren... Technology keeps more people inside, especially in the suburbs.

The only interaction I had with a new girl was at the gym today, when I wasn't even prepared to try pickup. My hair was barely combed, my glasses were on, and I was wearing fairly average clothes.

It was arm day for me, and while I went through my motions the girl came from downstairs, bent over in front of me to grab weights, and sat down next to me on the bench to work on presses. I normally would have pounced at that opportunity, but I don't let anything get between me and my workouts... Not even the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen would be worth interrupting my weight session.

Nevertheless, I finished quickly, put the barbell away, and walked up to her.

Me: "I wanted to finish my workout before I said this-"
Her: *pulls out earphones* "I'm sorry! What was that?"
Me: "I wanted to finish my workout before I said this, but I think you are really fucking cute and I thought I should stop by to say hi! I'm AP!"
Her: "Oh, wow! Thank you! I'm (name)"
Me: "Hope I'm not interrupting your workout or anything!"
Her: "No, no, you're fine!"
Me: "So what are you working on today? Arms?"
Her: "Haha, well, I don't work on anything specifically. I'm just working out for hockey!"
Me: "You're a hockey player!"
Her: "Yep! I'm in college now though, so I play for (some college), and right now I'm training."
Me: "Are you planning on having a hockey related career then? I know they haven't made women's hockey a pro sport yet."
Her: "Well, I'm majoring in (some major she spoke of that was drowned out by a dropping barbell), but I want to be a hockey coach hopefully!"
Me: "How'd you get into hockey anyway?"
Her: "Um.. well, my cousins and sisters all played hockey so I ended up doing it too!"
Me: "I got you. And when you picked up that hockey stick, it just sorta... felt right sitting in your hands like that."
Her: "Definitely! Haha, it's one of my passions!"
Me: "That's awesome! Hey, I don't want to keep you any longer, but I do want to hear more from you... You seem like a really cool girl. Do you want to meet up and grab some coffee sometime?" (Forgot that I should have just asked for a number with a short conversation like this.)
Her: "I can't.. sorry, I have a boyfriend. But thanks for stopping by though! You should do that more often, girls love it when you do that! You literally made my day!" (Felt kinda patronizing, but I wasn't exactly dressed for the part, so I don't blame her.)
Me: "No problem at all, I was just being sincere! Have a good day!"

Wish I could write more to this field report than just this interaction, but this really is all I've got. I seem to be running into a LOT of taken girls.. Maybe it's just because it's summer and the girls at my age are in the stage of their life where they crave monogamous relationships. Oh well, it'll only get better in the future.

Things I did well:
1) Pickup feels far less like something I have to will myself to do now. It just feels like a reaction and I just go do it.
2) I've brought my energy level down so that I feel and act more relaxed. Girls seem far less shaken by me now.
3) I don't even care what I say to the girl to get us talking anymore. It's less about lines and more just saying what I think.

Things I could improve on:
1) For short interactions like that, I gotta learn to just ask for the number and suggest the two of us be friends if she has a bf.
2) I need to make myself look more presentable even when I go to the gym.
3) I need to be more genuine. I should be more focused on getting to know the girl than getting her phone number.

Things I learned:
1) The gym may become my niche since I'm a regular. I'll be careful not to make them feel too uncomfortable though.
2) Though I've lost my two best hunting grounds, I can continue pick up randomly wherever I decide to go.
3) Since the quantity of interactions will be far fewer from this day forward, I'll need to focus on making each one top quality.

 

[Mr.Rob]

AP dude what your doing is awesomely inspirational to us other beginners, how long ago was it when you started actively going out to meet girls? The reason I ask is not to compare myself to your progression but because im very curious to how fast you progressed, this will let me know how much I need to rev my outings up. And all that is is taking deliberate action consistently, how deliberately and consistently is the question. Btw on finding new hunting grounds Idk if you have looked into your local walmart or if you have them where you live but just about every time I go to the one near my house I almost always bump into a cute girl or two. Anyways keep the posts up please because I get mad when I hear about a guy two years younger than me thats kickin ass and takin names and quite frankly that keeps me motivated. Cheers bro.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Hi Mr. Rob! Glad to be of inspiration to you! I have been going out to meet girls for a little longer than a month, but I have the ability to go and keep practicing because I'm still in high school and I'm unemployed.

There was a girl I met back in high school with the deepest eyes and most gorgeous brown hair that I had ever seen, and despite all her signals to me that she liked me, I couldn't for the life of myself come over to say hello to the 100 pound creature giving me all the signals known to man. My motivation wasn't about getting a specific girl, it was about going on a spiritual journey where I would face my fears and beat them down so that I wouldn't ever feel too anxious to approach that kind of girl ever again. I acknowledged the fear that gripped me as I approached all the girls and saw it shrink down little by little with each approach I did. This was the progress that I became addicted to, and made it so I found every chance I could to find people to approach. SashaPUA has a great article that got me into this mindset in the first place. http://sashapua.com/social-awkwardness-is-your-friend/

Anyway, this is what got me going in deliberately and consistently. I would force myself to walk up there, and at that point, I'd be forced to either interact with the girl or stand there next to them in the women's section looking like a dumbass. Instead of mulling on how nervous I seemed or how much I shook, I compared each interaction to the last and noted how much smoother they were becoming.

Best of luck to you! I'll be watching for your field reports too from now on, so don't disappoint me!

Oh, and I'll schedule a trip to Walmart for tomorrow

 

[Laowai]

AP, I just briefly skimmed it. From the interaction it's clear though that you also need to talk a bit about you and what you do. You're just a stranger who walks up to her and she knows nothing about you becasue you don't tell her anything.

I know you've done so in other pick-ups, but I still got the feeling then that you could talk a bit more about yourself. Again, finding and sharing commonalities is key. You must focus on building that connection.

Also, take care of your reputation again. This is the gym. You wanna get kicked out of there too? : )

 

[AsianPersuasion]

I'll focus on that then next time. I got a conversational tip to just genuinely listen and be interested and not think about a hidden agenda of grabbing her number, and I want to try that out too. I'll see how naturally my parts come in.

I've also come to terms with the fact that there's no guarantee that I can continue to go to any place should I attract this much attention from people. If they kick me out, I'll probably just find a new gym. I've got a month left, so I want to keep my progress going as long as I can

 

[Smurf]

Good you're still approaching, AP.

Even if you only have a month left, since we're still in school, maybe we could brainstorm together and find some girls at school. I know there are some recent articles about social circle. Maybe we can climb out way to the top of the ladder haha!

Anyways, keep it up bro!

Jake.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Haha, of course, if we're both direct approaching now, we wouldn't be able to do the same in a high school situation... I've done enough shitting where I ate today to know that I'll need to re-calibrate before I try social circle at a high school.

Nonetheless, you and I will be totally new people come September. We'll have experienced things no other guy in our school had the balls to go out and experience, and I highly doubt it'll go unnoticed. I for one still have unfinished business with one poor girl I never could get myself to approach, and I think by the time summer ends, I'll be ready to stir something up... something I never had the balls to do all of last year.

Jake D., you keep it up too! I want to see a post about how different things are in school for you after this summer of pickup.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Wow AP less than two months, you've got good work ethic dude. My A.A. is very close to being trounced I have a perfectionist/laziness problem im currently working on but like you say with every approach you do regardless of the outcome it becomes more fun and addicting. Cool article from Sasha btw. I love how he points out a huge aspect of A.A. (but quite under discussed surprisingly) being that a strong man in control of his destiny relinquishes all dependence of others approval and lets only himself (and possibly a higher being) validate his actions as right or wrong. Good read, if you look at all the most successful people in history they all possess this trait in that criticism, condemnation, and complaint are all creatures of the wind. Sounds like your well on that path keep on keepin on homie.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

You too Mr. Rob! Once you beat your A.A. into the dust, pickup just becomes a reaction to you. Instead of having to work up the courage to approach a girl, you just kinda do it to see what happens.