FR Keep trying even when everything is going wrong... (sound recordings)

[Ryan]

Last week, I received this voice recorder for my dyslexia support. it was meant for recording lectures, though of course i'm misusing it to record my approaches with girls. From now on, i'll try to record at many approaches as possible using this, so myself and others can more accurately determine what it is that's holding me back. (I hate listening to myself though- I really dislike hearing my voice! Sounds terrible).
Even though i don't get butterflies in my stomach anymore nor an increased heart rate before i approach a woman (I'm quite fearless approaching women now), i still get nervous when talking to a pretty girl, and i can hear this in my voice. Our conversations don't seem so natural, and i can sense the girl is trying to get away from me. Also, i have zero confidence and self-belief. I don't ever believe i can date these girls. I just do it out of hope (i.e. Better to approach her and have a 1% chance of dating her, than not approaching and a 0% chance).

I'm posting this to say that even if you feel an absolute wreck, it's still better to approach a woman than not to. I was late for university today due to oversleeping, so i threw on any clothes i could find, didn't groom my facial hair (which it needed), and didn't take a morning shower. So I still had my bed hair too. I really didn't want to approach women, but I did nevertheless, and I feel i've learned a lot from these encounters.

Today, tomorrow, and the day after, i'm going to reduce the number of approaches i do, and focus more on staying at home and learning more GirlsChase theory.

Also, I'm going to go to a different part of the city next time where there are more Arab/Persian girls. I'm getting a bit tired of East-Asian girls rejecting me, so it's time to change it up a bit (I like Chinese, Persian and Arab girls mainly).

So, without further ado, here's the brief details of my approaches:

Girl 1: Chinese girl Shin/Xin

This girl was one of the most beautiful girls i have ever seen. She was almost as tall as myself (i'm 6ft1/185cm), and had a very cute face. I never take public photos of girls without asking (because it's rude), but i think it's okay just to do it just this once, as long as i don't identify her by showing her face:

http://postimg.org/image/m624d35lz/

i wasn't ready to approach girls today, because i didn't look as smart as i normally do, but i had to approach this girl, for the reason i said above. It's better to approach and have the smallest chance of success, than no success at all by not approaching.

It was very bad luck i failed my cold read; since when are Chinese girls called Shin? (Edit: Maybe she said 'Xin' instead of 'Shin' which would be Chinese...oops)

Here's the audio for my approach. You can hear the nervousness in my voice. I don't normally rate girls. But out of 10, she would be a 10 (maybe 11?). She was that beautiful that my hands were shaking while i was talking to her.

http://girlschaseryan.wordpress.com/2013/11/25/recording-1-chinese-girl-shin/

(Approach begins at 0.22. The sound is bad from the start to about 1:05 due to a train arriving just then. Sorry about that. I will put the sound recorder in a better position next time. After 1:10, our voices are more clear).

She got off at a different station to me. As i didn't know that part of London well (i've only been in this city for two months), i spent at least 2 hours trying to get back home! >_<

Girl 2: Confused Japanese girl

This was a car-crash of an approach. When I pre-opened by touching her elbow, she quickly jumped, (probably thinking i was going to rob her perhaps)? I was in despair when I realised she couldn't speak English (You don't really expect people in England to not know any English. Maybe she was just playing games). And since i can't speak Japanese apart from Kawaii and Konichiwa (see my last meeting with Japanese girl Kazura), my mind totally blanked out and didn't know what to say.

Here's the audio of this approach:

http://girlschaseryan.wordpress.com/201 ... nese-girl/


I know there's a million things wrong with these conversations. I think that's mainly because my approaches so far have been a matter of experimentation. I still don't know what really works for me, and so i don't have a concrete process to guide me through a conversation.

I also don't really know how to increase attraction/let her know my intentions apart from using non-verbals and compliments.

Well, hope you enjoy them. At least most people here can have the satisfaction knowing that they aren't as terrible as me! haha

 

[Mr.Rob]

Dude you are so right on track using a voice recorder to learn from. I'm actually going to be doing the same thing here soon when I get back in the states and I'm pretty excited.

Is there anyway for you to improve the quality of your recordings. I couldn't understand anything going on in them because the backround noise was way too loud.

Either way your getting serious about this shit and as long as you persist you will see success.

One thing I kept in mind when I was first starting out was the thought of "would I do this even if I knew it would be two years or more before I have sex". Obviously it most likely won't take that long as long as you're practicing deliberately, which it seems like you're doing. Nonetheless it's a good thought to have to see how dedicated you actually are. If the answer is yes you will keep approaching and actively seeking to get better at your skillset before you hit your goal in two years plus. Then your destiny is assured and you will see success.

-Rob

 

[Ryan]

thanks Rob for your feedback. Two years sounds so demoralising. But i have to keep going even if it kills me. This GirlsChase thing is so strange because it is impossible to just leave and forget about. I must succeed, there is no other alternative for me.

Actually, I got one of the best sound recorders you can get in the market today. The reason there was so much background noise was because it was a train station and trains were coming and going within a few feet away from me >_< Not much I can do about the sound. But you can certainly hear my voice and approach after 22 seconds (in the first recording).

 

[Mr.Rob]

You know it's kind of demoralizing looking at it like that but honestly if you compare your adversity to the adversity of the greatest legends in history its really not that big of a deal. For example Ernest Shackleton, a great Antarctic explorer from the early 1900's, spend 3 years in below zero temperatures with his crew trying to find a way off the icebergs they were trapped on. The whole time they ate cold raw dog, seal, and penguin meat. They had one pair of clothes that were constantly getting frozen to their body and had only pup tents to sleep in. The blizzards came through blew at gust of up to 30 mph plus for days on end making the subzero temperatures feel even more cold. On top of that they didn't have nice warm thermal jackets and sweat pants back then just cotton pants and shirts. Eventually the ice opened up enough for them to escape on their 20 ft. boats that they rowed and sailed on for weeks in search of Elephant island (one of the closest real islands to Antarctica that isn't made of ice. On the boat trips they were constantly soaked by the freezing ocean water and had to sail up and down 30 ft. swells meaning sleep was not an option. Eventually they made it to the island and another crew went to send a rescue ship to save the survivors left on the island. Not one single man died (though one had to get his toes cut off due to frostbite) and they all lived to tell the tale. It was a seemingly impossible feat yet the leader, Shackelton, did not think for one minute they weren't going to make it (though he was a bit crazy).

If these people are capable of doing the impossible you sure as hell can do what you know is possible. Learn to develop strong character traits such as these and you will be unstoppable dude. Just learn patience (and I'm right behind you on that one).

Rob

 

[Mr. Wes]

Ryan, good idea of recording your voice for your approaches.
Your voice seems fine to me, you just need to have a little more experience under your belt and then your voice will sound more confident.
Unlike you, my nervous voice is fast and slurred words and when I first started out, girls kept asking me to repeat myself because I sounded like I was speaking another language. Haha.
After a few months of approaches, though, your voice should start sounding how it normally does when talking to people you aren't nervous around. This is because approaching becomes such a normal thing to you.
I'd say maybe after 3 months of active approaching. I started last summer after high school, approached non-stop for summer break (3 months) and now I'm onto much bigger problems.
You can catch up in no time!

Keep up the good work. I'm really looking forward to seeing your evolution.
Wes.

 

[BlackBolt]

Hey , how do you post your recordings on here? I just started recording my conversations via my cell phone and this is a good idea that I want to start doing.