Knowing when to end a convo or keeping it going - am I doing this right?

[ART]

"I don't want to hold you up or anything" or "I've got (something to do/this/that/whatever).

I say things like these in the tone of "I can go if you want me to" when I'm having a conversation with a girl. For example, if I see her check her phone once or twice or if she's on the way out somewhere (but stops to chat with me).

Almost all the time, she responds with "no, you're fine" or something like that.

I'll take it as a good sign for us to keep the conversation going.

But I feel like there's a better way to check and see if I should end the conversation or keep it going. More like a test of "does she want me the fuck out of here or not" (without actually saying those words).

I hope this all makes sense.

Gentlemen of Skilled Seducer, am I doing something right? Or is there something I should do or say that may test whether or not to end it if it seems like it's going nowhere (or if I'm bothering her)?

Thanks

 

[ulrich]

I personally think those specific phrases are pretty good because, by asking if you’re not bothering, you’re showing social awareness.

I’ll let other guys answer because they probably have better things to say but I just wanted to point out that the ones you are already using are pretty good.

 

[phuasjn2]

Gentlemen of Skilled Seducer, am I doing something right? Or is there something I should do or say that may test whether or not to end it if it seems like it's going nowhere (or if I'm bothering her)?

Lets say there is 3 scenarios

1 where the girl really likes you and definitely wants to continue conversation
2 where the girl just likes you just enough to not walk away
3 where the girl doesn't like you at all

In both 1 and 2, she actually does like you enough to continue the conversation, so there is no point asking "I can go if you want me to" when she already wants you to stay and continue talking

In scenario 3, she will already be walking away or telling u flat out she's not interested/has a boyfriend etc. In other words, if you were actually bothering her, she would already be leaving or stopping the conversation

Instead what you should be doing is to move her after about 5 minutes of conversation to test whether she really likes you or she is just having polite conversation. Ask her to follow you for a few steps because the sun is shining or because its cooler there. Whatever the reason just try to get her moving with you and you will see her true interest fast.

 

[ART]

@uriel Thanks for the input. So I seem to be a step in the right direction.

@phuasjn2 I like this idea. Test for interest after enough time. I’ll need to put this to the test in the future.

 

[Rakehell]

Don’t eject too soon

 

[Kaida]

In both 1 and 2, she actually does like you enough to continue the conversation, so there is no point asking "I can go if you want me to" when she already wants you to stay and continue talking

I believe there is a point in asking even if she is already interested.

Most of the time when she’s attracted to you it wont be 100% conscious, so asking if you should go (and her saying “No! Stay!”) gets her invested in the interaction and making her attraction for you more conscious. This is called “anchoring” i believe

Moves like these make it easier to come back from mistakes, as now it’s harder for her go back on her interest for you because she participated in keeping you there

 

[Don Giovanni]

Everyone gave you good input.

Probably you should just stay in as far as they don’t blow you out so you start distinguishing between your anxiety and her real relation to you. See where the line is. Just a way to develope social intuition imo.

On the other side, phrases like “i don’t want to get in between your vibe” or whatever you said are good and sometimes it is good to walk away and come back later. Shows you don’t give a fuck and you give her her personal space. I’m just learning this now and I get it right 50% of the time i guess (i should stick in sometimes or go and reaproach other times) but this is just how you learn. Trial and error. Good luck