FR++ last 5% fail - pwned

[stratvm]

i think this is a classic case of missed window of opportunity on the day of meeting

SCENE 1 - club, bar area

- hot girl smiles+gazes THAT WAY = instant approach
- introduction: check
- state of intention: what for? its obvious.
- small talk: check
- transition to deep dive: check
- moving girl: check
- setting up date at high: check
- natural number swap: check
- inviting home, attempt 1: was tentative(!!!!) but didnt push

*** and this is the biggest mistake you can make i think, not being persistent in these cases. i`m convinced it all went wrong here. BE PERSISTENT FFS.

SCENE 2 - minimalist text game

I) next day
- text 1: hi x, great night out with you yesterday. so whats your schedule like for this week? - stratvm
- reply this and that (she was busy given day)
- text 2: how about tomorrow this (should have been free)?
- reply got slower at the end she told the next day was not good so i told her to let me know when she wants to meet (all communication was less 5 text rounds total with the most necessary info)
.
.
.
maintaining radio silence (hard like hell but other projects were going on)
.
.
.
II)
3 days later out of blue text if i was free the next day.

- reply: look who`s there! x! yes im free. what time would suit you?
- anything after x. what do you have in mind? drinks?
- reply: well missy, i have a number of things in mind... how about meeting <my office> then we disappear together into the night and see what it brings?
- date&time confirmed, instant replies = excitement, interest

III) pre-date ping (i felt how relieved she was, absolutely musthave for flake management)


*** minimal text contact is absolutely essential. text game is the easiest thing ever. cheers guys for this
*** i think i made mistake by not letting her chosing the date ENTIRELY (in my next text game it was fine, from now on i always let her chose the date & time as suggested on blog)


SCENE 3 - meeting at office then bar hopping (i think it is the best for preparing to take her home)

bar 1 - instant deep diving, after a while i hardly spoke just listened. some sexual framing by hinting my favourite place in europe is ibiza/mallorca and like spanish people due to their mentality and attitude towards sex. she acknowledged and complimented on being open
bar 2 - even deeper diving. apart from very private thing she told everything about herself.

*** i was honestly stunned how efficient deep diving is. and with the right person it is completely natural.

at a high i told her that next we go to somewhere quiet and with nice views (=flat)


SCENE 4 - flat. forgot to bring my keys from the office (walking distance)

*** she didnt even realize where we were going. i think this was the other point where it could go wrong, the spell was broken
*** problem is that the flat is pretty impressive... - too much value - boyfriend bin?

so we went back to office for the keys and then back to flat - she came back after all.

- showing flat around, CNN on, taking off shoes, juice to drink
- when i got back to the room she was already on the couch. i wondered how the hell i was going for that kiss in that position. body language didnt show comfort despite handling a torrent of objections
- made a move fairly early she was getting somewhat comfortable, she let me touch a few stuff but usually pushed my hands back
- then suddenly she just said she was leaving and really left. "this is why i dont go to mens apartments." didnt want me accompany her down.

*** maybe i should have gone for a kiss right after arriving to flat but unlikely it helped much.

aftermath: about 10 minutes later i sent her a text: <<< just this. probably this was our last conversation ever though i left the stuff open i think case is closed.

 

[Ross]

This looks like a very cut and dry seduction, and seems to ooze a little bit of awkwardness to me. It looks like it starts out fine, but I think you really didn't show that much value and once you were met with a challenge (resistance) you failed to secure her. Value isn't always needed, but the fact that she puts off the date shows that she doesn't think your time is very valuable, and isn't really seeking to be with you too much; unless she was trying to game you, which doesn't seem to be the fact since she left your flat.

The text game is fine, but you really failed to achieve any form of escalation or attachment with her before, so she doesn't really care about being with you asap. My brain is fried right now so I feel like I am missing something that shows why this really didn't work.. Maybe someone else can find it.

some sexual framing by hinting my favourite place in europe is ibiza/mallorca and like spanish people due to their mentality and attitude towards sex. she acknowledged and complimented on being open

That's not really sexual framing.. That's talking about sex as a topic of conversation, and includes your views on sex, but it doesn't prime her for a sexual relationship with you. Sexual framing is more about the relationship between you and her, and is nicely used with chase framing to create that relationship where she is chasing you. It really needed to be used successfully here because she had objections and wasn't in the position of chasing you.

Once you got to the flat her mind was pretty much made up about you. She seemed to know what you were after, but didn't want to take part in it, so she was very closed off and what not. She allowed stuff to happen but then regained her head. It is possible to overcome some of these objections through some masterful acts of passion and being able to let her know it was fine to be with you, but the normal route of escalation wouldn't have yielded much results in a case where she is already objecting to sleeping with you. She felt no attachment to staying, wasn't feeling intimacy, and therefore left.

That text really wasn't needed and just felt kind of awkward. Sending a smiley face when things clearly didn't go as planned isn't needed, and it kind of makes her lose respect for you. This interaction had the same feeling throughout, and while you could have rescued the seduction by escalating properly, it would have required quite a bit of skill.

 

[stratvm]

thanks for the insights, probably this was the case what you said.

"once you were met with a challenge (resistance) you failed to secure her" <<< yes i think that was the problem too - i think why it didnt work is that she wanted to be taken home that night.

actually i sent that last message ( ) because i was really laughing about the whole stuff when she left and even after that. she said didnt even know how she ended up in my apartment at all.

 

[AFCnoob]

Hey, Stratvm:

I like how your progression was pretty much by the book, from initial interaction, through texting, through setup, through deep diving, even with the drink in hand and CNN on tv when she got to your place. However: I wonder at a few small details:

Your conversation at the first venue seemed a bit platonic. As RTB pointed out, I'm not sure it fully set the tone of your intent for that evening. Was there any physical contact or escalation at all? I wonder what was going through her head, and then there was....

told her that next we go to somewhere quiet and with nice views

Did you say "We should go somewhere quiet with a nice view--my place"? Or did you just leave it at that? I get the feeling she might not even have known that you were taking her back to your place and then sort of just "went along with it". I don't know the PU rule on this, but that's a huge no-no in my book, just because there's the risk a girl might get the feeling you're trying to trick her into something, which is I expect will be a deathblow to any further seduction.

body language didnt show comfort despite handling a torrent of objections
- made a move fairly early she was getting somewhat comfortable, she let me touch a few stuff but usually pushed my hands back

So there she was, she'd "found herself/ended up" in your place, and then you were making advances. Her discomfort/uncertainty may have stemmed from you not "framing" the evening that way and building up a sexy vibe that she was comfortable with prior to this. I get the feeling that she did like you a lot, but that you simply hadn't directed her thoughts in that way before openly suggesting you guys go back to your place--thereby securing tacit consent from her and leaving no doubt in her mind as to what she was agreeing to.

Then again, she may have just gotten cold feet, or it could have been something completely unrelated (I wasn't there, after all). At any rate, you certainly applied all the tactics in the correct order, but I wonder about how clearly you built up and established your intent with the girl, which may have lead to confusion--and then auto-rejection on her part, evidenced in:

"this is why i dont go to mens apartments." didnt want me accompany her down.

As far as:

about 10 minutes later i sent her a text:

I actually did this with a girl the morning after a close, when I felt that she'd left on a bit of a cold/distant note. I only realized after how it made me look--as though I were trying to retrieve what I knew was a bad situation...with a smiley face text...needless to say I'll never be doing that again.

I actually have the opposite problem of coming on a bit strong/obvious/player vibe and it can turn some girls off. But on the other hand, girls never have illusion about exactly what I have in mind, so in my very limited number of interactions that progressed that far, I haven't gotten cold feet/LMR (at least not yet). Anyway, the rest of your interaction seemed very by-the-book, I'm sure with a couple small tweaks you'll be golden next time, keep at it!

 

[stratvm]

Yo, yes i tried to do everything by the book (otherwise i wouldnt have gotten anywhere)

Your conversation at the first venue seemed a bit platonic. As RTB pointed out, I'm not sure it fully set the tone of your intent for that evening. Was there any physical contact or escalation at all? I wonder what was going through her head, and then there was....

yes, i think the spell was broken by not taking her home 1st night because the next meeting was way less intense, though physical was ok. 4 days passed since the initial meeting and i began to forgot her too. attraction fades in our head as well not just in womens...

Did you say "We should go somewhere quiet with a nice view--my place"? Or did you just leave it at that?

didnt mention my place, as i recall the post the guys didnt mention i should mention... not sure though.


I get the feeling she might not even have known that you were taking her back to your place and then sort of just "went along with it".

when i got the keys from the office she knew where we were going. i think she wanted something happen too to a certain degree but at the end she realized this was not what she wanted.

So there she was, she'd "found herself/ended up" in your place, and then you were making advances. Her discomfort/uncertainty may have stemmed from you not "framing" the evening that way and building up a sexy vibe that she was comfortable with prior to this.

telling you the truth she HAD to know what this date was about... seriously if a grown up HOT woman doesnt get this idea asap something is fundamentally wrong...


I get the feeling that she did like you a lot, but that you simply hadn't directed her thoughts in that way before openly suggesting you guys go back to your place--

yes next time i will be clear though 2nd time she knew where we were heading.

As far as:

about 10 minutes later i sent her a text:

I actually did this with a girl the morning after a close, when I felt that she'd left on a bit of a cold/distant note. I only realized after how it made me look--as though I were trying to retrieve what I knew was a bad situation...with a smiley face text...needless to say I'll never be doing that again.

i was really laughing. btw:
- i was amazed that everything the blog writes is true word by word
- i was amazed she came to my place 2x and she didnt even wanted
- i wanted to let her know that i wasnt angry at all - in fact i was surprised of the whole story and felt i accomplished more than i expected
- i knew there is only a 1% chance i will ever hear about her again

i will have a date on friday that has the same schedule, i will be curious how the tweaks will work with that girl. what im afraid now is that i dont have new numbers/dates/prospects in the queue so i have to push approach again.

 

[AFCnoob]

she HAD to know what this date was about...

Yeah, but it seems like girls are like that. She knew, but then she came...only to leave. She might have had conflicting emotions, or might just have thought that things were a bit "sudden", since the topic hand't been introduced subtly in earlier conversation. Maybe.

i was really laughing

I used to get furious when interactions blew up in my face, or took crazy turns ([Diane], [Fiona]), but now I end up just laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, or at myself and how I goof things up. However, I'm careful not to laugh in the presence of the girl involved in the interaction. PU is such a high stress environment, for both parties, and there are a lot of emotions flying around--girls seem to easily misconstrue a laugh to be at them rather than at the situation.

 

[stratvm]

she HAD to know what this date was about...

Yeah, but it seems like girls are like that. She knew, but then she came...only to leave. She might have had conflicting emotions, or might just have thought that things were a bit "sudden", since the topic hand't been introduced subtly in earlier conversation. Maybe.

i was really laughing

I used to get furious when interactions blew up in my face, or took crazy turns ([Diane], [Fiona]), but now I end up just laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, or at myself and how I goof things up. However, I'm careful not to laugh in the presence of the girl involved in the interaction. PU is such a high stress environment, for both parties, and there are a lot of emotions flying around--girls seem to easily misconstrue a laugh to be at them rather than at the situation.

yepp, if you are good looking though and had even a basic Game bootcamp picking up women is like hot knife through butter.

 

[stratvm]

just to make sure auto-rejection set in i sent a text today after a week, full conversation:

- retry tonight?
- thanks. but i dont think so
- (knowing its over so cannot lose anything): i take it as "you need to be more convincing"
- sorry, language barrier. i`m not interested in seeing you again.

*** messages & number deleted, next one

 

[AFCnoob]

Well, at least she was frank about it. Onward and upward.