Field report first daygame date.
I fucked it up and I’m not proud of this and I only write it for advice and for myself as a learning and reflection activity.
First I find day game to be very hard to setup a chase frame like I always did with online dating and night game. I’m working on that part.
So I went out on my first date ever pulled from doing direct daygame(2nd day of daygame ever). A very attractive, young blonde. (26 is young when you’re 37).
This was a girl you may remember from the mall whose response to my opening was to ask if I had read “the game” and then ask if I was one of Mystery’s students.
It was a pretty big shit test and I passed it plus all the others and we had a nice, fun little insta-date convo.
My take on her was that she was suspicious since the first “hello” but curious about me. I really felt I needed to give off a non-threatening vibe. Fun and flirty but not overtly sexual.
In hindsight I think this may have been a mistake. I think I played it too safe.
She was very keen to meet again and would text me randomly to see what I was doing and make conversation, ask me my bio questions etc.
She was definitely interested in getting to know me. I did text chat with her a lot. It was fun and flirty teasing type stuff like I usually do with girls.
I’m a regular comedic entertainer. I need to stop that shit.
We met for drinks at one of my “go-to” date places. An old reliable from my internet dating days.
It’s a place where I can get a U shaped booth and can get her to sit next to me rather than across a table and drinking is encouraged. Great for kino escalation.
She was a little late. When she walked in, I got up and gave her a hug greeting right away. Best to get some kind of touch in the first few minutes.
I should have let it linger a bit but I read her body language as being a little tense and nervous so I let her go. I should have led her to the table to ensure she sat in the right place.
First time I’ve had this happen at this venue but she sat directly opposite to me across a huge table. Bad starting position. And I think I DLV with the greeting. I should have met her at the door like I used to do.
She was nervous but very chatty and open for conversation. I used deep diving techniques to get her to open up about stuff but I didn’t steer everything properly.
I eventually convinced her to move over closer, then next to me, and did some minor kino tests once she had relaxed somewhat.
She was still kind of just observing me, trying to figure me out. I could tell she liked me and the conversation but her body language was still very closed.
Some kino went well but other tests I was denied. The conversation was going well but again in hindsight I failed to steer it properly toward sexy subjects and flirtation.
I got to the point where I decided to do a major kino escalation. Nothing extreme but just to judge if I was making any progress building rapport or if I was just small talking my way into the friend zone.
While she was talking I reached over and touched her hand, she pulled back and said “I’m not ready for that yet”. I let that go, (should have punished maybe) then after a bit longer I said “I need to tell you something very important” I leaned in as if to whisper in her ear and placed my hand on her shoulder. She tensed up like I was going to bite her, so I whispered… “I need to go to the bathroom, that’s very important right now”. She laughed. I got up, went to the washroom.
I made a lot of mistakes with this girl. She was attracted to me, was trying to keep me interested, but the jury was still out on my creep status and sex was definitely a long way off.
I let my ego get the better of me when I went back to the table. Honestly I was tired of her making me feel like a weirdo because I had approached her. It pissed me off so I started to ignore her a little. Which was a smart move but not coming from the right place or with the right angle. It came off more as rejected than as disinterest.
She tried to bring me back and asked me what I was thinking about.
This is where I really let myself act foolishly. I kind of felt like the date was a write-off so whatever I did really didn’t matter anyway (mode 1/mode 4).
I said that I was disappointed that she hadn’t warmed up to me yet and I was feeling like she thought I was some kind of creep.
Her response was that she just didn’t know me well enough and that she liked me but I probably had other expectations(ASD).
Basically she indicated that I just had to hang in there and somewhere down the line (ie. more dates) she would be on board but by this point I had had enough of feeling like a dip shit AFC.
And I said some things along the lines of:
- ”Don’t know me well enough for what? I’m not trying to grope you in the booth here ya know.”
- That she must only have dated boy scouts before because usually when there’s chemistry a little shoulder rub shouldn’t be a big deal.
- Asked if she had ever kissed a guy she’d just met in a night club without hours of mindless small talk first.
- Asked why me walking up to her in a mall was somehow weird but a bar would have been expected and ok.
- Wanted to know why she didn’t recognize that I was also taking a risk approaching a stranger but I was willing to trust that she wasn’t a total nut job.
Finally while things were still civil, I thanked her for a nice evening and picked up the check. She was a little taken aback and I could tell a little rejected herself which honestly I enjoyed. I said that I thought she was a sweet girl but a little too cold for my tastes and she wasn’t ready to have a real connection with a guy like me.
I told her to save the “good girl routine” for the boy scouts and pointed out the irony of her not trusting me when she was obviously not being honest herself.
I walked her out and we parted by agreeing that our date was a good compatibility test and that we just weren’t right for each other. No harm no foul.
She had a lot of qualities I like being gorgeous, a good education, world travel, good career, sharp wit, and some that are nice to have… such as a family with money but she makes a good living too.
After reflecting on all the things I should have done differently I am still kicking myself for letting my ego and fear control my actions. But I’ve learned something.
Cheap lesson, only cost 3 pints of beer.
I fucked it up and I’m not proud of this and I only write it for advice and for myself as a learning and reflection activity.
First I find day game to be very hard to setup a chase frame like I always did with online dating and night game. I’m working on that part.
So I went out on my first date ever pulled from doing direct daygame(2nd day of daygame ever). A very attractive, young blonde. (26 is young when you’re 37).
This was a girl you may remember from the mall whose response to my opening was to ask if I had read “the game” and then ask if I was one of Mystery’s students.
It was a pretty big shit test and I passed it plus all the others and we had a nice, fun little insta-date convo.
My take on her was that she was suspicious since the first “hello” but curious about me. I really felt I needed to give off a non-threatening vibe. Fun and flirty but not overtly sexual.
In hindsight I think this may have been a mistake. I think I played it too safe.
She was very keen to meet again and would text me randomly to see what I was doing and make conversation, ask me my bio questions etc.
She was definitely interested in getting to know me. I did text chat with her a lot. It was fun and flirty teasing type stuff like I usually do with girls.
I’m a regular comedic entertainer. I need to stop that shit.
We met for drinks at one of my “go-to” date places. An old reliable from my internet dating days.
It’s a place where I can get a U shaped booth and can get her to sit next to me rather than across a table and drinking is encouraged. Great for kino escalation.
She was a little late. When she walked in, I got up and gave her a hug greeting right away. Best to get some kind of touch in the first few minutes.
I should have let it linger a bit but I read her body language as being a little tense and nervous so I let her go. I should have led her to the table to ensure she sat in the right place.
First time I’ve had this happen at this venue but she sat directly opposite to me across a huge table. Bad starting position. And I think I DLV with the greeting. I should have met her at the door like I used to do.
She was nervous but very chatty and open for conversation. I used deep diving techniques to get her to open up about stuff but I didn’t steer everything properly.
I eventually convinced her to move over closer, then next to me, and did some minor kino tests once she had relaxed somewhat.
She was still kind of just observing me, trying to figure me out. I could tell she liked me and the conversation but her body language was still very closed.
Some kino went well but other tests I was denied. The conversation was going well but again in hindsight I failed to steer it properly toward sexy subjects and flirtation.
I got to the point where I decided to do a major kino escalation. Nothing extreme but just to judge if I was making any progress building rapport or if I was just small talking my way into the friend zone.
While she was talking I reached over and touched her hand, she pulled back and said “I’m not ready for that yet”. I let that go, (should have punished maybe) then after a bit longer I said “I need to tell you something very important” I leaned in as if to whisper in her ear and placed my hand on her shoulder. She tensed up like I was going to bite her, so I whispered… “I need to go to the bathroom, that’s very important right now”. She laughed. I got up, went to the washroom.
I made a lot of mistakes with this girl. She was attracted to me, was trying to keep me interested, but the jury was still out on my creep status and sex was definitely a long way off.
I let my ego get the better of me when I went back to the table. Honestly I was tired of her making me feel like a weirdo because I had approached her. It pissed me off so I started to ignore her a little. Which was a smart move but not coming from the right place or with the right angle. It came off more as rejected than as disinterest.
She tried to bring me back and asked me what I was thinking about.
This is where I really let myself act foolishly. I kind of felt like the date was a write-off so whatever I did really didn’t matter anyway (mode 1/mode 4).
I said that I was disappointed that she hadn’t warmed up to me yet and I was feeling like she thought I was some kind of creep.
Her response was that she just didn’t know me well enough and that she liked me but I probably had other expectations(ASD).
Basically she indicated that I just had to hang in there and somewhere down the line (ie. more dates) she would be on board but by this point I had had enough of feeling like a dip shit AFC.
And I said some things along the lines of:
- ”Don’t know me well enough for what? I’m not trying to grope you in the booth here ya know.”
- That she must only have dated boy scouts before because usually when there’s chemistry a little shoulder rub shouldn’t be a big deal.
- Asked if she had ever kissed a guy she’d just met in a night club without hours of mindless small talk first.
- Asked why me walking up to her in a mall was somehow weird but a bar would have been expected and ok.
- Wanted to know why she didn’t recognize that I was also taking a risk approaching a stranger but I was willing to trust that she wasn’t a total nut job.
Finally while things were still civil, I thanked her for a nice evening and picked up the check. She was a little taken aback and I could tell a little rejected herself which honestly I enjoyed. I said that I thought she was a sweet girl but a little too cold for my tastes and she wasn’t ready to have a real connection with a guy like me.
I told her to save the “good girl routine” for the boy scouts and pointed out the irony of her not trusting me when she was obviously not being honest herself.
I walked her out and we parted by agreeing that our date was a good compatibility test and that we just weren’t right for each other. No harm no foul.
She had a lot of qualities I like being gorgeous, a good education, world travel, good career, sharp wit, and some that are nice to have… such as a family with money but she makes a good living too.
After reflecting on all the things I should have done differently I am still kicking myself for letting my ego and fear control my actions. But I’ve learned something.
Cheap lesson, only cost 3 pints of beer.
