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FR  Laugh at my mistakes and help me learn.

old-dog

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
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10
Field report first daygame date.

I fucked it up and I’m not proud of this and I only write it for advice and for myself as a learning and reflection activity.
First I find day game to be very hard to setup a chase frame like I always did with online dating and night game. I’m working on that part.

So I went out on my first date ever pulled from doing direct daygame(2nd day of daygame ever). A very attractive, young blonde. (26 is young when you’re 37).
This was a girl you may remember from the mall whose response to my opening was to ask if I had read “the game” and then ask if I was one of Mystery’s students.
It was a pretty big shit test and I passed it plus all the others and we had a nice, fun little insta-date convo.

My take on her was that she was suspicious since the first “hello” but curious about me. I really felt I needed to give off a non-threatening vibe. Fun and flirty but not overtly sexual.
In hindsight I think this may have been a mistake. I think I played it too safe.
She was very keen to meet again and would text me randomly to see what I was doing and make conversation, ask me my bio questions etc.
She was definitely interested in getting to know me. I did text chat with her a lot. It was fun and flirty teasing type stuff like I usually do with girls.
I’m a regular comedic entertainer. I need to stop that shit.

We met for drinks at one of my “go-to” date places. An old reliable from my internet dating days.
It’s a place where I can get a U shaped booth and can get her to sit next to me rather than across a table and drinking is encouraged. Great for kino escalation.

She was a little late. When she walked in, I got up and gave her a hug greeting right away. Best to get some kind of touch in the first few minutes.
I should have let it linger a bit but I read her body language as being a little tense and nervous so I let her go. I should have led her to the table to ensure she sat in the right place.
First time I’ve had this happen at this venue but she sat directly opposite to me across a huge table. Bad starting position. And I think I DLV with the greeting. I should have met her at the door like I used to do.

She was nervous but very chatty and open for conversation. I used deep diving techniques to get her to open up about stuff but I didn’t steer everything properly.
I eventually convinced her to move over closer, then next to me, and did some minor kino tests once she had relaxed somewhat.

She was still kind of just observing me, trying to figure me out. I could tell she liked me and the conversation but her body language was still very closed.

Some kino went well but other tests I was denied. The conversation was going well but again in hindsight I failed to steer it properly toward sexy subjects and flirtation.
I got to the point where I decided to do a major kino escalation. Nothing extreme but just to judge if I was making any progress building rapport or if I was just small talking my way into the friend zone.

While she was talking I reached over and touched her hand, she pulled back and said “I’m not ready for that yet”. I let that go, (should have punished maybe) then after a bit longer I said “I need to tell you something very important” I leaned in as if to whisper in her ear and placed my hand on her shoulder. She tensed up like I was going to bite her, so I whispered… “I need to go to the bathroom, that’s very important right now”. She laughed. I got up, went to the washroom.

I made a lot of mistakes with this girl. She was attracted to me, was trying to keep me interested, but the jury was still out on my creep status and sex was definitely a long way off.
I let my ego get the better of me when I went back to the table. Honestly I was tired of her making me feel like a weirdo because I had approached her. It pissed me off so I started to ignore her a little. Which was a smart move but not coming from the right place or with the right angle. It came off more as rejected than as disinterest.
She tried to bring me back and asked me what I was thinking about.

This is where I really let myself act foolishly. I kind of felt like the date was a write-off so whatever I did really didn’t matter anyway (mode 1/mode 4).
I said that I was disappointed that she hadn’t warmed up to me yet and I was feeling like she thought I was some kind of creep.
Her response was that she just didn’t know me well enough and that she liked me but I probably had other expectations(ASD).
Basically she indicated that I just had to hang in there and somewhere down the line (ie. more dates) she would be on board but by this point I had had enough of feeling like a dip shit AFC.

And I said some things along the lines of:
- ”Don’t know me well enough for what? I’m not trying to grope you in the booth here ya know.”
- That she must only have dated boy scouts before because usually when there’s chemistry a little shoulder rub shouldn’t be a big deal.
- Asked if she had ever kissed a guy she’d just met in a night club without hours of mindless small talk first.
- Asked why me walking up to her in a mall was somehow weird but a bar would have been expected and ok.
- Wanted to know why she didn’t recognize that I was also taking a risk approaching a stranger but I was willing to trust that she wasn’t a total nut job.

Finally while things were still civil, I thanked her for a nice evening and picked up the check. She was a little taken aback and I could tell a little rejected herself which honestly I enjoyed. I said that I thought she was a sweet girl but a little too cold for my tastes and she wasn’t ready to have a real connection with a guy like me.
I told her to save the “good girl routine” for the boy scouts and pointed out the irony of her not trusting me when she was obviously not being honest herself.

I walked her out and we parted by agreeing that our date was a good compatibility test and that we just weren’t right for each other. No harm no foul.

She had a lot of qualities I like being gorgeous, a good education, world travel, good career, sharp wit, and some that are nice to have… such as a family with money but she makes a good living too.

After reflecting on all the things I should have done differently I am still kicking myself for letting my ego and fear control my actions. But I’ve learned something.
Cheap lesson, only cost 3 pints of beer.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
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Messages
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Re: Laugh at my mistakes and help me learn.

Old Dog,

Good job on getting a date off of day game on only the 2nd day, that's impressive.

I have no idea whether you're looking for constructive feedback, but here's what I noticed:

  • 1. You're reacting when you should be ignoring. It's written in places all over the site that (a) women like men to take the lead, and not act in a way that appears to be in consequence of their own actions; and (b) when they say or do unhelpful things, you should act like it doesn't trouble you or you didn't even notice it, and proceed the way you want anyway.

    2. You made some unwarranted assumptions. If I imagine myself in the shoes of the girl, I wouldn't be impressed if a man told me that he figured I thought he was a "creep"; nor that I considered his approach "weird" when I never said such a thing; nor that I was in the habit of kissing guys in nightclubs on a whim; nor that I expected guys to approach me in bars or even that I went to bars at all. By assuming these (unhelpful) things and verbalizing them, you're communicating both a lack of confidence and a lack of interest in what she's actually like.
It may be that my critique is unjustified on the grounds of some other information about the date that you haven't shared. If so, please forgive me—my intention is obviously to be helpful. The girl sounds lovely and it's a pity you lost her. I know what that's like =)

I saw this report some weeks ago, but I was on my phone and couldn't reply at the time. Just remembered to get back to it. Hope you can use some of what I've written! :)

-Marty
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

old-dog

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
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Messages
10
Re: Laugh at my mistakes and help me learn.

Marty said:
Old Dog,
  • 1. You're reacting when you should be ignoring. It's written in places all over the site that (a) women like men to take the lead, and not act in a way that appears to be in consequence of their own actions; and (b) when they say or do unhelpful things, you should act like it doesn't trouble you or you didn't even notice it, and proceed the way you want anyway.

    2. You made some unwarranted assumptions. If I imagine myself in the shoes of the girl, I wouldn't be impressed if a man told me that he figured I thought he was a "creep"; nor that I considered his approach "weird" when I never said such a thing; nor that I was in the habit of kissing guys in nightclubs on a whim; nor that I expected guys to approach me in bars or even that I went to bars at all. By assuming these (unhelpful) things and verbalizing them, you're communicating both a lack of confidence and a lack of interest in what she's actually like.
-Marty

Hey Marty,

Thanks for the observations and feedback. I really do appreciate your comments because you're very accurate.

To your points :

1. I should say that I did / do ignore this behaviour. I'm also pretty good and getting better at ignoring / passing shit test type stuff from women.
There just comes a point for me that I get tired of their attitude and decide that if they're not with the program by a certain point then they're not probably not worth the ongoing effort.
If I feel like they are still expecting me to qualify hard after a while then I just write them off and cut my losses. You can sell every girl but not all of them are worth the effort.
To use Chase's words, I admit that her frame was stronger than mine. She was very guarded and I decided that it was too much of a uphill battle to build enough rapport to bother.

2. Unwarranted assumptions.
I didn't say this stuff until after I decided to end the date and I didn't care anymore what happened. I just wanted to point out that her very suspicious nature was a major turn off for me. That I don't like cold and unfriendly people in my life and could live without having to meet her approval. Basically I wanted to communicate that I was not feeling rejected but put off by her "stranger danger" attitude.


There is something I really learned from this and a couple of other situations. and I'll try to point them out.

1. Women who get a lot of attention often don't realize that attraction is a 2 way street. Basically they feel they get to "pick you" and it's all on you to ensure that happens.
- First. If her behaviour on a date or phone/text is a sufficient turn off then I won't waste any more time on them. I'm busy and have better options. (I can get laid 7 nights a week if I want. I don't need their particular brand of BS)
I'm working on a way to communicate this subconsciously at first rather than directly once I've written them off.
This leads into the second point. If you reject them they just don't get it.

Either they become super attached and stalker like or act like there's something wrong with you.

2. It doesn't matter what you tell a women about why you're no longer interested in them they will almost always think it's a cover for sexual frustration or rejection displayed by weaker men.

Example.
I got some Anti Slut Defence "cold feet" texts from a girl an hour before she was supposed to come over. Par for the course and nothing I can't handle.
This is a girl who approached me in the club, picked the day, time and location of our hookup, and did nothing but sex text me in the days leading up to that.
Unknown to her I had rearranged some shit to make time for what I felt was a semi sure thing. When the ASD came up, I could have worked through it and I started to. But then she started inventing excuses and I kind of got the feeling like she really didn't intend to come over in the first place and just wanted to get me to "date her".

I felt like she didn't respect my time or my intelligence and was trying to manipulate me like some boy-scout, white knight loser.
Instead of working past it I just let my feelings be known.

I told her she lost her chance with me. I told her how I didn't like to be jerked around, lied to and having my time disrespected. I pointed out how she was calling me a "player" but she was the only one playing games.

Her reaction was "Wow you must really need to get laid to get so mad... I don't know if I feel comfortable going over now."

I was blown away. First I wasn't mad at all but suddenly disinterested in even bothering with her. I had just told her to not bother coming over.
Seriously? WTF? I'm telling her to bounce for trying to treat me like a chump and she spins like I'm sexually frustrated and can't work through her ASD.

I couldn't believe what a dummy she was. When I called her on her BS and told her I don't bother with liars and people who disrespect me she acts like I'm the problem and she dodged a bullet by not getting involved with me.

Some women's frames are like a brick wall because they've been reinforced for so long.
I didn't care a lick about her and told her so. She hears that as sour grapes and feels grateful for having avoided me. Whatever allows her to continue on in her little bubble of perfect correctness.

Forget her, my condom bill is high enough.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Re: Laugh at my mistakes and help me learn.

Hey Old Dog,

You gotta keep it classy... especially when she's a decade or so younger, let's try to set a good example—dating's supposed to be fun, not full of conflict :) I can identify with you to some extent, I'm a bit of an "old dog" myself: 38 and open and date mainly chicks in the 24-27 age range although I extend that in either direction too ;) You can have a look at some of my FRs if you wish...

Anyway, Chase writes in multiple places that "if you have to say it, she won't believe it". Basically girls are hardwired to discount the words that come out of a man's mouth... one cutie I was close to, 14 years younger than me, once mentioned to me that her mom told her to divide everything a man said by 5. So verbalizing that you don't need her, etc. etc., is not going to make much of an impact. In fact it will be counterproductive. You gotta show it.

Now when it comes to her behavior, the same rule applies. Watch what she does, not what she says. Results vs. reactions, Chase calls it. And on this one, you had it going for ya. Say what she likes about "strangers", she went on a date with you... Here's how I'd like to think I'd have handled it:

  • Babe: I'm not ready for that yet!

    Old Dog: (skeptical look) What? You mean ... THIS? (placing other hand on hers, beside the first one)

    Babe: (laughing) I'm just not accustomed to being touched by ... strange men.

    Old Dog: (leave hands in place for a few seconds, smiling enigmatically and giving full eye contact, then let go, look away and laugh, then give her sexy sidelong eye contact) Well, in that case, missy, I'm just glad you came on a date with this ... strange man!
This does so much for you: it shows you're unaffected by her moodiness (Chase calls it "staying nonplussed" which is a nice way to remind yourself of it), and very importantly indeed, it rewards her for her compliance (accepting your date) and reminds her that it was her own decision, i.e. she is invested.

I doubt you'll encounter the exact same situation again, but I'm sure there's some stuff here you can use!
-Marty
 

old-dog

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Re: Laugh at my mistakes and help me learn.

I know what you're getting at Marty and I know I could have hung in there.

There does come a point for me where I lose interest in working through their objections and just find their bull shit unattractive and get turned off by it.

If I feel like I'm no longer having fun with it and it's actually taking effort to get her to move forward that's about where I lose interest and either eject or get blunt about why I'm unimpressed.

I'm all for making the best of any situation and taking on a challenge but I'm not cool with bad attitude when they're are so many other girls out there who are down with what I'm putting out there.

Usually I treat a date like a tryout for my team. If she isn't picking up what I'm putting down I don't change myself to be more inline with what makes her comfortable.
Not every girl is going to buy what I'm selling even if they like what they see in the window.

Could I sell them given some time and better skills, probably. Like you said she went out with me. But there does come a point where get sick of their frame and call it a night.
This will probably get better with more experience working through resistance. And I have actually closed out several girls since this FR where I know I wouldn't have been able to a few weeks ago.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Re: Laugh at my mistakes and help me learn.

I guess this is the key to it:
old-dog said:
And I have actually closed out several girls since this FR where I know I wouldn't have been able to a few weeks ago.
Probably because I don't yet have such broad success, I take a slightly different view. For me, if she's pretty, instead of worrying about her "bad attitude" I'd rather take her to bed first and see how I feel about her after.

The way I see it is this: Pride is a luxury the budding seducer can't afford. Not pressing for sex because you're concerned she might think you're desperate is a more "advanced" mistake than the rookie one of not opening because you're afraid of rejection—but it's still a mistake. I'd rather leave with my conscience intact that I'd explored every avenue (and may she think what she will about me) than worry too much, at my elementary stage, about who comes off "on top" socially speaking.
 

old-dog

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Re: Laugh at my mistakes and help me learn.

Marty said:
I guess this is the key to it:
old-dog said:
And I have actually closed out several girls since this FR where I know I wouldn't have been able to a few weeks ago.
Probably because I don't yet have such broad success, I take a slightly different view. For me, if she's pretty, instead of worrying about her "bad attitude" I'd rather take her to bed first and see how I feel about her after.

The way I see it is this: Pride is a luxury the budding seducer can't afford. Not pressing for sex because you're concerned she might think you're desperate is a more "advanced" mistake than the rookie one of not opening because you're afraid of rejection—but it's still a mistake. I'd rather leave with my conscience intact that I'd explored every avenue (and may she think what she will about me) than worry too much, at my elementary stage, about who comes off "on top" socially speaking.

Bingo, right on the money. I do let my pride fuck with me.
It's part of my value system and ego. I don't have ego tied up in other things such as my job, house, car, etc but I do have a lot of pride in myself that can make me react when I should just chill.
I start to get the attitude of "what makes her so special?" and resent her for holding onto barriers that other girls are letting me knock down more easily.
If I think she's disrespecting me I get turned off her very quickly.

Question remains though. If we can all agree that not every woman is a fit for what we're putting out there even if she is attractive and is sticking around, at what point do you just pull out all the stops or give her up as too much effort?

And another question to ponder. Where do you draw the line at a chicks behaviour as being unattractive, unhelpful and either try and change it or call her out on it?
Some women are not fun to be around, even if you're fucking them like a champ.
There has to be a line of acceptable behaviour. I won't tolerate blatant manipulation or lying. I probably wont go all "MODE 4" on her for it at first but I'm not going to let her think she got one over on me either. (pride again)
Shit, I get bored with a girl if she's not at least able to have an intelligent conversation.
 

old-dog

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Marty, you know your stuff...
Look at this, right from the Ebook.

One of the big priderelated obstacles
guys encounter is the “If she doesn’t want me, too bad for her, she
doesn’t know what she’s missing” line of thinking. I don’t often like
telling people never to do things, but I’ll make an exception here:
never think that! That line of thinking might technically be right, but
it’s not because she’s a dolt.
Fact is, if she doesn’t know what she’s missing, it’s not because she’s
clueless. If she doesn’t know what she’s missing, it’s because you
didn’t show her properly.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
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Old Dog:

There's one thing I recognize as a big difference between myself and women. I can't be unsure of my attraction and I never autoreject. I see a girl and that's it, I like her or I don't. She can't increase my attraction for her by her actions or words, and what's key to this topic, no matter what she says or does, she can't destroy it either. Even if she rejected me harshly and wounded my self-respect, any prior attraction would remain. Because I recognize this in myself, that's why I don't have the "pride" issue. And I don't find resistance or negative behavior a "turn-off" as so many men (including you) seem to report. It's just a matter of introspection and self-knowledge... for me at least.

But the point Chase makes is that women have an ingrained need to test men. It's in every cell of their body, in their DNA, you'll never get it out no matter what you do, because millions of years of sexual selection rewarded this behavior very strongly, and ruthlessly punished any aberration through inferior male offspring who couldn't find a mate. That means whatever she says, you must never let it affect you, or at least never let it show. Because she knows in her bones (actually, in her cell nuclei—it's not even conscious knowledge, it's instinctive) that a quality man would never display frustration if he didn't feel it, and he wouldn't feel it because he'd have a thousand other options. If you rise to the bait, you're toast. And yes, she will go off believing you're inferior and maintain her own mental model, no matter what you tell her, because your verbal arguments are irrelevant—your actions have given you away and she knows it reflexively.

old-dog said:
Marty, you know your stuff...
I'm a diligent student, yes, I've fully absorbed and internalized the articles and textbook, and I put in as much practical fieldwork as I can, opening women every couple days or so in the street or in stores for the past few months. That part I think I have pretty much down, and dates are okay too—I've always enjoyed talking with women.

But I have a problem. The moment I get emotionally involved, they suddenly disappear off of the surface of our planet. I'm sure they're not doing it to hurt me, I doubt it's intentional, they're probably not even aware of it themselves. But it's undeniable. Like PacificBeauty, Espresso&Cream, and FitChick.

So now it's your turn to laugh at my mistakes, Old Dog =)

-Marty
 

old-dog

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
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Marty said:
Old Dog:

There's one thing I recognize as a big difference between myself and women. I can't be unsure of my attraction and I never autoreject. I see a girl and that's it, I like her or I don't. She can't increase my attraction for her by her actions or words, and what's key to this topic, no matter what she says or does, she can't destroy it either.

But the point Chase makes is that women have an ingrained need to test men. It's in every cell of their body, in their DNA
...
If you rise to the bait, you're toast. And yes, she will go off believing you're inferior and maintain her own mental model, no matter what you tell her, because your verbal arguments are irrelevant—your actions have given you away and she knows it reflexively.

But I have a problem. The moment I get emotionally involved, they suddenly disappear off of the surface of our planet.
-Marty

Hey Marty,

I definitely understand the testing part. What I'm still trying to figure out is how a woman determines how much testing is required for a particular man. Is it the perceived value ratio? As in her self worth vs. my perceived value.

Because for me there is a limit to how much testing I will endure for a particular value level of woman. The reason why I have a limit is because I have other options which is exactly what she should want in a mate. I have women on speed dial who are already working hard for my attention. So when I blow her off for playing games I always thought I came off stronger when I just tell her (directly or indirectly) that I don't need her shit and move on. But they always have to save face and be the ones who act like they've rejected me.

Passing these tests needs to appear effortless but they do take work under the surface.

Examples:
1 - If this woman is decently attractive compared to my current stable of friends with benefits. I will tolerate a certain level of testing and even expect a curve ball or two. But if she pushes back too much I'll just lose interest in her because of the work required to value received ratio. I start to ask myself "why do I need to tolerate this lower value chick's bull shit?". Bottom line is, I don't need to. I have other options who are just as high or better value and have already signed onto "my program".

2 - If this woman is very attractive in comparison to my current lover roster I will tolerate a much higher level of testing because I am definitely more motivated to hang in there.

I realize this attitude is probably wrong, but it's hard to overcome. I should probably just not engage women who I'm not willing to put the work into seducing.

Here's where it can get confusing -when her tests become obvious manipulations. I often wonder about the fine line in testing a man where a woman will decide between the following...

a. This guy is the real deal and is totally unaffected by what I'm throwing at him
Versus
b. this guy is low value, desperate and will tolerate anything I do just to get in my pants.


I have to assume the difference is compliance to her requests and demands. Fine line here.

As to your issue of them disappearing it would have to be a congruency issue IMO.
If you're acting like a lover but then turning into a provider you lose them.
I've made that mistake before. As soon as I started treating her better (out of guilt). I instantly lost the respect of a girl who had previously been willing to do anything for me. I mean, I treated her like dog shit and she came back for more every time. Humiliation and disrespect seemed to make her work harder for me. An experienced pimp could have put this young thing on the corner with no problems.
After months of this... it was almost overnight she bailed. I looked weak for treating her like my GF rather than just a cum-dumpster that who didn't give a second thought to.
Frame conflict. Did she like being treated badly? Doubtful. But it was congruent behaviour.

Not all lovers will be chosen for relationships. If you followed Chase's teachings and downplayed your boyfriend potential to the max then you're going to have a frame conflict.
You must be changing your game after you close the deal and they feel the got something different then they signed on for. Or they just never considered you a long term option from the beginning.

I've been in enough relationships to understand first hand that women testing men never stops. She continues to test you after choosing you as a mate.
Women want strong men. The stronger the woman the more she will try get on top in the dynamic. If you allow that to happen she will lose respect for you and see you as weak.
She may have lots of "love" for you and may keep you around because you're useful to her or fill a need for her. But you can be sure she will ditch you as soon as that need is no longer met or play you if the bigger, better deal comes along.

Either you're running her or she's running you. This is not always blatant and extreme but it's there.
Someone is wearing the pants.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
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Dog, I think you won't want to "tell her", that's the point. Just ignore here and thereby imply it. That way she won't feel like you're trying to prove anything and her anti-male-deception shield won't kick in.

Regarding my disappearing issue, I'm confused. Who said anything about allowing her to get on top or switching to an LTR frame? I didn't mention that in this thread, nor is it suggested in the linked FRs. They disappear when I'm just starting to like them, that's the point I was trying to get across! :)
 

old-dog

Space Monkey
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Marty said:
Dog, I think you won't want to "tell her", that's the point. Just ignore here and thereby imply it. That way she won't feel like you're trying to prove anything and her anti-male-deception shield won't kick in.

Regarding my disappearing issue, I'm confused. Who said anything about allowing her to get on top or switching to an LTR frame? I didn't mention that in this thread, nor is it suggested in the linked FRs. They disappear when I'm just starting to like them, that's the point I was trying to get across! :)

Hey Marty,

You're right. I'm just going to ignore it.

I didn't mean that you were switching to LTR or anything. But if you're "starting to like them" and they flake you're possibly telegraphing this shift in somehow.
It's only natural to act somewhat different with a girl you like than a girl you are just banging and couldn't care less about her.
Maybe I misread your problem.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
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Old Dog, no, the problem is on my side, not yours. Reading between the lines I think you may be onto something.

The point is, physical closeness (e.g. kissing), intimacy and sex are all pretty emotional things, right? Regardless of whether they take place within a relationship or outside of it. In fact, if anything the short-term variety is even more emotional: it's thrilling, special, and memorable to sleep with a girl you've only seen for a few hours, compared with screwing your wife of 10 years yet again. Or am I wrong about that?

I find it difficult to imagine being unable to "care less" about a girl I'm banging. Am I the exception here? Or are you?

Would be great to get Franco's input, perhaps I should start a fresh thread.
 

old-dog

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Marty said:
Old Dog, no, the problem is on my side, not yours. Reading between the lines I think you may be onto something.

The point is, physical closeness (e.g. kissing), intimacy and sex are all pretty emotional things, right? Regardless of whether they take place within a relationship or outside of it. In fact, if anything the short-term variety is even more emotional: it's thrilling, special, and memorable to sleep with a girl you've only seen for a few hours, compared with screwing your wife of 10 years yet again. Or am I wrong about that?

I find it difficult to imagine being unable to "care less" about a girl I'm banging. Am I the exception here? Or are you?

Would be great to get Franco's input, perhaps I should start a fresh thread.

I guess I can just separate sexual excitement from emotional interest. Maybe I can explain.

The women that I currently see all fill a need for me in some way.

(Practice Girl) One girl I consider very sweet and genuinely interesting, has a good job, education and hobbies. She's not super experienced or satisfying in the sack but she's very affectionate toward me and is great to spend time with. She's not arm candy or status boosting but she's got a good social circle and is fun talk to and hang out with. I like this girl and care if she's happy or not. We have a great agreement where she knows I'm not her boyfriend but we get to pretend. She want's all of me but will take what she can get. She's the girl with whom I will watch a movie or cook dinner. She makes me feel grounded and well liked.

(Deposit Box) This girl is good looking and an absolute freak in the bedroom. But for me that's all she's good for. I find her conversation boring and she doesn't do anything interesting at all. She has limited number of friends and no interests (read value-taker from ebook). She would make a great hooker because she can't get it often enough, hard enough or please me enough. She tries to be my GF by cooking for me and wanting me to take her out but all I do is stop by and jam her up when I'm bored or feeling the need. I don't care if she fucks 10 other guys daily and I would prefer not to know that or how she feels about me because it would probably just make me feel guilty about using her as my deposit box. She thinks she want's a provider but really she's happiest chasing lovers.

(Casual Hookup) Another girl is hot and has a lot going for her but lives out of town. She only wants to see me when she's in town and likes what I can do for her. She doesn't want to cuddle, share emotional connections or get involved. I respect this girl most of all because she's a no games, honest, straight shooter who loves sex and doesn't want a man to interfere with her career. I get excited by her in a way that is different than the others but I'm not in love with her. I don't imagine a future with her or anything else. The worst thing I could ever do with this girl is emit the aroma of need in any way. I think she would be gone in a heartbeat. She honestly leaves me with with the question of who's using who? And I just have to be ok with that. Want's lover and no provider.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,525
Your dating life sounds swell, Old Dog... 3 girlfriends, each offering a different kind of value to you. Something for me to aspire toward :)
 
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