Law of Least Effort and Texting

[Garrett]

Hey guys, so I came across a question on Chase's post about the Law of Least Effort that I can relate to. Perhaps you can too! Anyways, a poster, Anonymous, asks...

"Hey,

I'm having a little bit of a problem because, the girl I'm texting is clearly obeying the law of least effort, but if I make myself look like I'm using less effort than her, the conversation or little bit of chat we do by text would run completely dry..

It's not that we don't have lots in common, but it's just that it's almost like a competition to win this law of least effort, and I'm almost forced into being that 'underdog' because she's sunk the effort to such a low

any tips?"


Essentially the above sums things up. Have you ever had a text conversation where the person you're communicating with uses one word replies or short responses, but they still get results? For example, sometimes I'll be texting a girl, and typically, the goal is getting her out and seeing me. Usually things go well, but sometimes during the process I'll get texts back that I can respond to, but which do not contain a lot of content. If she replies with something like, "Okay " I won't respond, but sometimes you'll find a girl who effectively uses the Law of Least effort so your replies look longer and as if you invested more... Not only this, but I'll get the reply like 7 hours later. So how do you create spezzatura when the girl is essentially playing the same game? How do you out compete her on this? I know opening texts are going to be a bit longer, but are there any tips you guys have so that the conversation can flow to the desired goal, but at the same time, not dry up? It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's good to be prepared!

Thanks,
Garrett

 

[Franco]

Hey Garrett,

So how do you create spezzatura when the girl is essentially playing the same game? How do you out compete her on this? I know opening texts are going to be a bit longer, but are there any tips you guys have so that the conversation can flow to the desired goal, but at the same time, not dry up?

So my initial instinct for a short answer to this is that, if you are only texting girls to meet up (as Chase and I suggest), then this shouldn't really be an issue. I've set up dates with girls before where almost all of the replies from her were less than five or six words, but as long as you are setting up the date, then the "fluff" and extra banter shouldn't really be something you are concerned with.

So maybe I need clarification here -- are you asking about setting up dates with girls? Or are you asking about building rapport?

- Franco

 

[A Life Loquacious]

I'm experiencing this right now... except the one I'm texting, it is a bit like a war to see who can be the most concise. I'm taking that to mean she's a 'less talk more action' kinda girl, which suits me just fine but at the same time I feel like I could be doing something just to 'check in' from time to time and make sure she hasn't moved on by the time I can get up to the city next. Unfortunately there's no way I'm gonna be able to get her out until the week after next at the earliest due to the usual logistics issues. At the same time I don't wanna kill attraction with the usual boring 'hey whats up' drivel.

 

[Garrett]

I'm experiencing this right now... except the one I'm texting, it is a bit like a war to see who can be the most concise. I'm taking that to mean she's a 'less talk more action' kinda girl, which suits me just fine but at the same time I feel like I could be doing something just to 'check in' from time to time and make sure she hasn't moved on by the time I can get up to the city next. Unfortunately there's no way I'm gonna be able to get her out until the week after next at the earliest due to the usual logistics issues. At the same time I don't wanna kill attraction with the usual boring 'hey whats up' drivel.

Hey Franco,

I'm referring to building rapport, I should have been more clear on that. If you're interested in a girl, or even want to just text a friend once in a while to see how they are via a brief text conversation, how do you suggest we go about this, meanwhile, applying Spezzatura/Law of Least Effort? In relation to this, I need help finding the balance with Spezzatura, or in other words, to get the most for doing the least amount of work. From my attempts to master this skill, I've become stoic, evaluating every single thing I do. I need emotions/energy to get things done, and it's such an energy consuming skill to master, and I'm unhappy going from one extreme to the other! Not sure how to find balance, and with school tomorrow, I can't afford to spend a lot of energy on monitoring my actions, or my grades will slip due to lack of energy. Any advice?

Cheers,
Garrett