Leading in relationships and personal character

[Lantern]

I've recently read this piece by Derek Sivers titled Exploreres Are Bad Leaders. It's a very short read.

I resonated with it a lot. I'm not a fan of putting labels on myself or other people, but one label I'm very comfortable putting on myself is that of explorer. It manifests from so much in the way I live my life, conduct business and have fun.

So this got me thinking about leading in relationships. Could this be an obstacle in properly leading a relationship? How do you fulfil that role, if by nature you prefer to live on vibes instead of clear goals? My goals in life are generaly short-term ones, a sort of "let's see what's behind that hill" thing and then I reasses and set the next goal. This has worked quite well for me and I consider myself a successful guy on may fronts. But, this isn't quite something women like to hear, unless they're very young. They want to hear and see that you have this super clear idea of who you are and where you're going and then they can attach your cart to you, but I find it very unnatural to live like that...

Any thoughts?

 

[gameboy]

They want to hear and see that you have this super clear idea of who you are and where you're going and then they can attach your cart to you

That's a limiting belief. I'm probably an adventurer myself, and I've had my share of relationships with women. Both long term and short.

I never got the idea that women want to hear this. Maybe some do, but then they rarely make it past the first date/lay with me

 

[Lantern]

That's a limiting belief. I'm probably an adventurer myself, and I've had my share of relationships with women. Both long term and short.

I never got the idea that women want to hear this. Maybe some do, but then they rarely make it past the first date/lay with me

First of all, thanks. I've never consider it to be a potential limiting belief, so that perspective is useful.

The impression tho that this is what women want is what I read often on this site. It seems to be more emphesised with women as they get older, while I'd say women younger than 25 are less so.

Also, I'm not saying this is an obstacle for any relationship, but it seems to me to come up most strongly in serious LTRs and that without good leadership women will leave at some point and you can at best keep things casual with them, which is all fine if that's what you want, but if you're considering to say start a family, I can see it as a potential issue.