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- Aug 12, 2024
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- 137
Here are 5 of my more memorable cold approaches from Spring of 2024.
Context:
I'm a white Mexican (I pass for American) just starting out, so not much success yet. This is when I first discovered Girls Chase and this forum. All were done on my university campus in SoCal (over 30k students). I have a thing for girly girls. I don't care about approach indicators; I just go for who I want. I skip many approaches because they were duds where she was either about to enter the class room, she had to study for a test, or she was late for work (and headed directly to the parking lot or a staff room), so there wasn't much to tell.
Context:
I'm a white Mexican (I pass for American) just starting out, so not much success yet. This is when I first discovered Girls Chase and this forum. All were done on my university campus in SoCal (over 30k students). I have a thing for girly girls. I don't care about approach indicators; I just go for who I want. I skip many approaches because they were duds where she was either about to enter the class room, she had to study for a test, or she was late for work (and headed directly to the parking lot or a staff room), so there wasn't much to tell.
Overview:
Notable moments:
Ethnicity: Asian
Position: Sitting
Outfit: Cardigan, dress, tights, legwarmers, heels.
Duration: 10 mins
Result: nothing
Background:My second interaction. I saw her sitting on a bench alone and a bit far from the nearest parking lot. Her outfit was cute, so she caught my attention. I noticed she had a face mask in her bag that she wasn't wearing. Low detail because I didn't write FRs yet.
Notable moments:
- I sit down next to her and establish eye contact when she turns around. I give a friendly smile.
- Opener: “Hey quick question: what do you think would be a good thing to say to strike up a conversation on campus with somebody you’re interested in meeting?"
- She recommend talking about majors.
- I offer my hand and she refuses saying, “Ooh, I don't do physical contact.”
- I jokingly offer an air high five, but she doesn't seem too enthusiastic. I brush it off as her just staying safe from recent outbreaks.
- I asked what she was studying. She said she studied psychology, which made sense as we were in front of the building with psych classes. She asks me and I say I am studying international business.
- I mention I have an interest in psychology on the side, and we talk about what it means to her along with some experiences on campus. We were both new.
- I make sure to smile and maintain eye contact as we sit side by side. The talk is friendly, but honestly doesn't escalate.
- There is a break where I run out of things to say, and I try to think of how to ask her about an upcoming event on campus that tied in to a trend at the time.
- Before I say anything, she asks if I’m an extrovert. I personally think I am one or the other depending on the vibe, but I lie and say “Yes.” She says that makes sense. I then talk about getting to know other people since university students are too focused on classes to truly make connections. She says she is an introvert and hasn't met many people.
- We talk about ourselves for a but longer until she receives a phone call. She replies in Vietnamese. Apparently, her dad was there to pick her up. I ask for her phone number, and she replies in a similar tone as the beginning, “Ooh, I don't really give my number.”
- I say I understand and wish her a great semester.
Overview:
No, I didn't know about escalation windows at the time.
Ethnicity: White Latina
Position: Walking
Outfit: Floral print dress, brown high heeled bolts.
Duration: ~15 mins
Result: nothing
Background:- My third approach ever. I saw her walking in my direction with plenty of grace despite walking in heels. She walked with energy, which drew my attention despite me not really looking for anything.
- Opener: “Hey quick question: what do you think would be a good thing to say to strike up a conversation on campus with somebody you’re interest in meeting."
- She stopped for a moment and recommended discussing books.
- I complimented her walk and said she was very graceful, like a model. She said that she got the a lot.
- I ask where she was headed, and she was headed to class.
- She starts walking and I follow.
- I asked if she studied dance or modeling, and she said no.
- I circle back to the opener by teasing her if she was too busy reading books. She laughed and we talked for a bit. She named a few series she like and mentioned she like fantasy.
- I attempt a cold read and ask if she was into escapism on account of being imaginative, but she denied it saying she read for fun.
- She asks what I am into reading and I talk about history because of “badass battles, interesting mysteries, and passionate romances” that society wanted to remember. I compared it to entertainment with the benefit that it was all real. I brag about being named after a prominent historical figure, which she laugh and said she noticed. She wasn't into history, but she mentioned her cousins were.
- I thought she'd keep talking, but she didn't. There was a brief silence. I resist the urge to talk and she asks me about my major. I answer, revealing I study International Business.
- I cold read her and correctly identify her as a Marketing major because of her flair and poise. She is surprised I was correct, but again says that her friends tell her that marketing is her thing for the same reasons I mentioned.
- She asks about my major, and I mention that I love to travel and explore cultures. We talk for a bit and I learn she is Mexican (like me). Rather than just say that, I say in Mexican Spanish, “Like Mexico, there is no other.”
- We get to a crosswalk and stop walking. She tells me that she is waiting for her friends to go into class with them. I think that the energy isn't good enough to close, so I tell a quick joke.
- After she laughs, there is a brief silence, but she once again breaks it by asking if I’ve seen any interesting shows lately on Netflix.
- I mention a few non-romantic shows, only one of which she planned to watch (Money Heist). I also mention I watched Money Heist in the original European Spanish, which I also speak. I ask what she watched and she mentioned shows I didn't know, along with 2 that were adapted from books. I point out that I read the originals, and she seemed unaware of those facts.
- We talk for a while and I spot her friends. I try wrapping up the conversation before asking for her number. She doesn't want to give me it. I try one last time by saying that I want to get to know her, but I’m not pushy. I’ll just send one text, and if she doesn't answer, fine. She says no, but we leave on good terms as her friends come near.
No, I didn't know about escalation windows at the time.
Overview:
Background:
Notable moments:
I was so wrapped up on monitoring my speaking skills (eye contact, energy, speed, pauses) that I forgot to establish a romantic frame. This was the only time I got a number.
Ethnicity: Southeast Asian
Position: Standing
Outfit: Dress, kneesocks, loafers, cap. Duration: ~15 mins
Result: number (ghosted)
Background:
My fourth approach ever. It was late evening and the sun was down. I headed to class early as I misjudged how long it would take to climb all those stairs. I saw the HB standing outside the building and instantly became interested in her, but I had to use the restroom. I walked past her (I doubt she noticed) and came back a couple minutes later.
Notable moments:
- Opener: “Hey quick question: what do you think would be a good thing to say to strike up a conversation on campus with somebody you’re interest in meeting."
- She answered and I ask what she’s doing outside. She was waiting for her ride, which would arrive at about the time my class started.
- I introduce myself and we shake hands. I make a joke about her name and a well-known marketing jingle with romantic undertones, and she says that she gets that a lot.
- I create time constraints by saying with “really quick” and “before I head to class” a few times in the beginning.
- I don't look at her and instead just look at the nearby clock and plants. I turn my head towards her as the conversation gets going.
- I turn my body to face her and move around a bit more when she starts asking me questions during the conversation.
- We talk about our majors, and I guess she is a psych major on the second try (we are at the side exit for the building with psych classes, but I come here for business). She is impressed.
- I make a conscious effort to speak slowly and not too loudly (my deep voice projects a lot).
- We talk about our majors and motivations, traveling, our cultures, and our studies.
- I only smile and fully face her when she is fully engaged, commenting, and joking along.
- During the conversation, I joke around more, and only laugh if she laughs. At one point, I tell a true story about me standing up to a professor in defence of a few classmates when we are talking about our frustrations. I make sure to pause, get a bit closer, and try to build intrigue. The story ended with the professor acting absurd before backing down when we stood united. She thought it was hilarious, so I laugh hard and put my hand on her shoulder to balance myself. She didn't mind.
- We also talk about our religion. She says she is Catholic. I say I am too, which is probably a misleading simplification, but is the best answer in 90% of cases (ex. Census). Not important to this FR, but I wonder if it may cause problems in a relationship.
- About ⅔ into the conversation, she mentions she likes art. I mention a gallery on campus which closed a few minutes before we saw each other, but suggest we visit it. I also start implying that I must go to class in a while.
- By the end, I am matching her energy, which is quite high. We are laughing, she is asking questions, and neither of us notices the time. I then mention that we should get going soon, but I’d like to see her again, probably at the gallery. She agrees. So, I tell her to give me her number, which she readily does. We continue talking.
- We wrap up the conversation, but I realize that I don't know if she is single. Before I leave, I ask if she is single. She wasn't.
- She didn't answer either of my texts after that.
I was so wrapped up on monitoring my speaking skills (eye contact, energy, speed, pauses) that I forgot to establish a romantic frame. This was the only time I got a number.
Overview:
Notable moments:
Ethnicity: Latina
Position: Walking
Outfit: Sweater, pleated skirt, stocking, socks, Mary Janes.
Duration: ~1 minute
Result: nothing
Background:I saw her walking around campus far away. I made the excuse that she was too far. I took the long way to where she was because there was no one else on the way. I then saw her walk to her friend and talk for a long time. I doubt she noticed me. I missed that window, but later found her walking towards the parking parking structure. I speedwalked to her, and began the interaction in the sun.
Notable moments:
- Opener: “Hi. I saw you walking around and I just had to come and say ‘hi’. You look so stylish and preppy that I was wondering who you were. Like a senator’s daughter?”
- She stops walking.
- She laughs and denies being important
- After a brief silence, I ask, “So, who are you?”
- She introduces herself and we shake hands. She mentions that she actually has to to work for a living.
- She tells me about herself and we talk about traveling. She talks about herself and visiting family. I talk about travelling too but refer to cities by their nicknames rather than names. For example, I mentioned visiting ‘The Pearl of the West’ itself rather than Guadalajara, Mexico.
- I say some witty things and she is laughing.
- During the conversation, I ask her to come stand in the shade. I gesture to a shaded area along this path well in the view of others (and closer to the parking lot), but she suddenly refuses because she had to get to work. She then says bye, goes into the parking structure, and the conversation ends inconclusively.
Overview:
Probably my 10th approach. I saw her walking in my direction on a day when I didn't approach anyone. The sun was going down, but the path is relatively well let. I figured I should at least practice before class started. I decided to further practice kino by using it with my opener.
Notable Moments:
Ethnicity: White
Position: Walking
Outfit: Don't recall, she had pink hair
Duration: 5 seconds
Result: scolded
Background:Probably my 10th approach. I saw her walking in my direction on a day when I didn't approach anyone. The sun was going down, but the path is relatively well let. I figured I should at least practice before class started. I decided to further practice kino by using it with my opener.
Notable Moments:
- I look at her as she approaches, but she is focused on the path ahead.
- I walked until I am next to her. I notice her hair is pink, not ginger like I initially assumed. Likely a feminist.
- Opener: *tap on the shoulder*
- Before I say anything, she swats my arm away and angrily grumbles “Get your fucking hands off of me.” She doesn't stop walking or spare me a glance.
- No one seemed to mind. I just smile like ‘Seriously?’ but walk away from the area at a normal pace without looking around.
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