- Joined
- Nov 7, 2019
- Messages
- 610
I've improved a lot this year and one of the key reasons is an increased focus on calibration.
Definition: the act or process of determining, checking, or rectifying.
In game this relates to being able to accurately know where a girl is at and adjust accordingly to get the results you want. Skills talks about lover/provider frame.
As an oversimplification you will always be managing how a girl perceives you within a "spectrum"
The spectrum
Difficult / Challenging >>>> Easy / Comfortable.
The spectrum personas : Fun Fuck Boy who's a male stripper >>>> Overweight nice guy who pays the mortgage
The emotions she'll feel : (Most attracted >>>> Most at ease).
Extreme examples but helps paint the picture.
When starting out most guys fall on the right side of the spectrum and have to learn to move towards the left.
Why? Because the fun fuck boy is a lover and gets you laid. What you then find is if you go too far left you won't keep any girls and be treated like a dildo
(ask me how I know lol)
Even worse if you're too fuck boy girls won't even sleep with you in the fist place as they're afraid of being just "another girl"
As a competent seducer you have to play the "balancing act" of adjusting yourself on the spectrum depending on where the girl is at...
Where "advanced" level game kicks is in recognizing that different girls have different spectrums so you need to act accordingly.
If I sound woo woo up in the air, bare with me as I'm going to tie everything together.
In general the less investment you give a girl the more you'll fall on the left side of the spectrum and the more you give her the right side.
Difficult / Challenging - behaviors
These are the types of behaviors (there's plenty more) where a girl will perceive you as difficult / challenging
Attainable / Comfortable
The perfect guy gives the right balance of both...
Now if you focus too much on challenging behaviors a girl will auto-reject... If you focus too much on comfortable behaviors.. She'll get bored and reject.
So now you may be thinking WTF!?! I can't win I'm going to become an incel... Nah slow down.
What we forget as men is that girls will tell you how they want to be seduced
You just have to listen to the signs...
Signs girls will give you
During your conversations girls will drop "hints" that will let you know what her personal spectrum is. She'll also act in reaction to you so you can work it out...
This is hard to explain in theory so I'll give x2 personal examples.
Need more comfort example (Girl A)
I laid a new girl few weeks back on our 1st date and invited her round for the 2nd date last week. She came and said "I'm on my period".
That's what she said out loud but under the surface what she was telling me is "I need more comfort".
How do I know this? She previously shared that she likes to text a lot and said she felt "rejected" when I said I don't. She was also more "soft". No real way to teach it aside from experience it but she was the kind of girl who valued family, relationships and didn't go out much.
How did I address it? I said we could use a blanket (to address period in case it's true) then I just had chit chat about her and work before escalating again... Sure enough she was good to go.
Need more emotional spikes example (Girl B)
On the flip side a couple months ago I lost a girl because I gave her too much investment. On her Tinder profile she said "Be mean I like the drama". Similar to girl above laid first time but then gave her too much attention over text. She ended up ghosting.
How do I know I gave her too much? She shared how she got bored of her last BF who was "just there", how she has been to sex parties and in combination with her profile, I should of given her a more hot and cold experience to keep her hooked. Looking back I also noticed when I was texting her less she was more responsive.
Reading different girls
Now based on my description of the 2 above girls - who do you think was more cuddly.... Girl A or B?
Interesting right?
This is why reading the girl and *not* making any assumptions is key. As said at the top different girls will see different behaviors as too much or too distant.
The only way to know where she stands is to engage in the behavior and see how she reacts. You want to see if she recoils even if it's subtle or neutral or enthusiastic.
With Girl A I went to cuddle her after sex and she looked at me confused like we've already had sex lol. So I eased off.
Also remember that a girl's spectrum and needs can change over time.
For example the "fuck-girl" from this lay is more physically intimate with me then when we first met and texts me when she goes on holiday to say "can we hang out when I'm back?"
How you act > how she perceives you > how much she invests in you > how much she likes you
Closing Thoughts
The game never ends lol. The deeper you go the more you find out there's more to go. Kind of what makes it so addicting and fun.
Understanding the spectrum helps you gage where you're with the girl and what behavior she needs from you at that moment in time.
Onwards & Upwards x
Definition: the act or process of determining, checking, or rectifying.
In game this relates to being able to accurately know where a girl is at and adjust accordingly to get the results you want. Skills talks about lover/provider frame.
As an oversimplification you will always be managing how a girl perceives you within a "spectrum"
The spectrum
Difficult / Challenging >>>> Easy / Comfortable.
The spectrum personas : Fun Fuck Boy who's a male stripper >>>> Overweight nice guy who pays the mortgage
The emotions she'll feel : (Most attracted >>>> Most at ease).
Extreme examples but helps paint the picture.
When starting out most guys fall on the right side of the spectrum and have to learn to move towards the left.
Why? Because the fun fuck boy is a lover and gets you laid. What you then find is if you go too far left you won't keep any girls and be treated like a dildo
(ask me how I know lol)
Even worse if you're too fuck boy girls won't even sleep with you in the fist place as they're afraid of being just "another girl"
As a competent seducer you have to play the "balancing act" of adjusting yourself on the spectrum depending on where the girl is at...
Where "advanced" level game kicks is in recognizing that different girls have different spectrums so you need to act accordingly.
If I sound woo woo up in the air, bare with me as I'm going to tie everything together.
In general the less investment you give a girl the more you'll fall on the left side of the spectrum and the more you give her the right side.
Difficult / Challenging - behaviors
- Cocky funny
- Sexual humour
- Challenges her and unpredictable
- Teases her and gives emotional spikes
- Hard to get hold off / unavailable
- Hard to "read"
- Hot and cold
- Every interaction is involved around sex
- Doesn't stay over
These are the types of behaviors (there's plenty more) where a girl will perceive you as difficult / challenging
Attainable / Comfortable
- Reliable
- Predictable
- Easy to get hold of
- Willing to spend time in non-sexual ways
- Not serious threat from other girls
- Has down to earth "normal conversation"
- Listens and remembers what you've said
- Stays over and has breakfast the next day
The perfect guy gives the right balance of both...
Now if you focus too much on challenging behaviors a girl will auto-reject... If you focus too much on comfortable behaviors.. She'll get bored and reject.
So now you may be thinking WTF!?! I can't win I'm going to become an incel... Nah slow down.
What we forget as men is that girls will tell you how they want to be seduced
You just have to listen to the signs...
Signs girls will give you
During your conversations girls will drop "hints" that will let you know what her personal spectrum is. She'll also act in reaction to you so you can work it out...
This is hard to explain in theory so I'll give x2 personal examples.
Need more comfort example (Girl A)
I laid a new girl few weeks back on our 1st date and invited her round for the 2nd date last week. She came and said "I'm on my period".
That's what she said out loud but under the surface what she was telling me is "I need more comfort".
How do I know this? She previously shared that she likes to text a lot and said she felt "rejected" when I said I don't. She was also more "soft". No real way to teach it aside from experience it but she was the kind of girl who valued family, relationships and didn't go out much.
How did I address it? I said we could use a blanket (to address period in case it's true) then I just had chit chat about her and work before escalating again... Sure enough she was good to go.
1. What (emotion!) is she missing? E.g. icy means she needs comfort
2. What (emotion) addresses her concern?
E.g. if icy rapport building for familiarity if already comfortable but she’s not horny then good in bed frames secret society frames
3. What stack addresses her emotional need?
In my instance she needed comfort so "boring" conversation gave her that and counter-intuitively led to sex
2. What (emotion) addresses her concern?
E.g. if icy rapport building for familiarity if already comfortable but she’s not horny then good in bed frames secret society frames
3. What stack addresses her emotional need?
In my instance she needed comfort so "boring" conversation gave her that and counter-intuitively led to sex
Need more emotional spikes example (Girl B)
On the flip side a couple months ago I lost a girl because I gave her too much investment. On her Tinder profile she said "Be mean I like the drama". Similar to girl above laid first time but then gave her too much attention over text. She ended up ghosting.
How do I know I gave her too much? She shared how she got bored of her last BF who was "just there", how she has been to sex parties and in combination with her profile, I should of given her a more hot and cold experience to keep her hooked. Looking back I also noticed when I was texting her less she was more responsive.
Reading different girls
Now based on my description of the 2 above girls - who do you think was more cuddly.... Girl A or B?
Girl B
Interesting right?
This is why reading the girl and *not* making any assumptions is key. As said at the top different girls will see different behaviors as too much or too distant.
The only way to know where she stands is to engage in the behavior and see how she reacts. You want to see if she recoils even if it's subtle or neutral or enthusiastic.
With Girl A I went to cuddle her after sex and she looked at me confused like we've already had sex lol. So I eased off.
Also remember that a girl's spectrum and needs can change over time.
For example the "fuck-girl" from this lay is more physically intimate with me then when we first met and texts me when she goes on holiday to say "can we hang out when I'm back?"
How you act > how she perceives you > how much she invests in you > how much she likes you
Closing Thoughts
The game never ends lol. The deeper you go the more you find out there's more to go. Kind of what makes it so addicting and fun.
Understanding the spectrum helps you gage where you're with the girl and what behavior she needs from you at that moment in time.
Onwards & Upwards x
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