Just went out with a girl on a after a cold approach. We kissed halfway through, but afterwards she said she just wants to be friends cause she just very recently got out of a 2-yr relationship last week.
I teased her about it (“well today didn’t FEEL very friendly” with a sly smile) and (when she said I looked cute later on, I said “oh don’t say that, we’re just friends” with a cheeky smile). She laughed at both of those frame teases. I can tell that she likes me a decent amount.
But then she restated “LJBF” at the end of our date, cause she literally just got out of a 2-year relationship last week. So I asked directly, “are you saying you’re only interested in hanging out if we’re explicitly just friends?” To which she said “maybe, I don’t know. Are you looking for FWB or a relationship?” I responded that “I’m not looking for anything in particular, I’m open to whatever happens. But I have a lot of friends and am not really looking for more friends. I’m down to hangout again and see what happens.” She replied that she’s probably down to hangout again. So we left it at that – she’s uncertain about whether she wants me as just a friend or as more, but we’ll probably (not guaranteed) hang out in a few days.
How should I act on this next date (and all future dates)? What should my style of texting be? Should I just do the “I’m a lover” frame strategy? I feel like I have to approach this with more nuance than the typical “I’m a lover” strategy?
I have the gut feeling that we gotta at least kiss/makeout next time, if I want to avoid the LJBF-zone. I think I could definitely set a flirty vibe, but I anticipate that setting a SEXUAL vibe would be hard. For example, I likely could see us having one short kiss (and I likely could see her saying “LJBF” again afterwards), but I don’t think she’d be down to makeout/hookup. And I don’t want to be pushy about us getting physical, cause I want her to be comfortable, and I don’t want to seem like I’m not being understanding with her.
I’ve read this article but it doesn’t seem to cover the special scenario I just described.
Any advice about how to proceed?
Adam
I teased her about it (“well today didn’t FEEL very friendly” with a sly smile) and (when she said I looked cute later on, I said “oh don’t say that, we’re just friends” with a cheeky smile). She laughed at both of those frame teases. I can tell that she likes me a decent amount.
But then she restated “LJBF” at the end of our date, cause she literally just got out of a 2-year relationship last week. So I asked directly, “are you saying you’re only interested in hanging out if we’re explicitly just friends?” To which she said “maybe, I don’t know. Are you looking for FWB or a relationship?” I responded that “I’m not looking for anything in particular, I’m open to whatever happens. But I have a lot of friends and am not really looking for more friends. I’m down to hangout again and see what happens.” She replied that she’s probably down to hangout again. So we left it at that – she’s uncertain about whether she wants me as just a friend or as more, but we’ll probably (not guaranteed) hang out in a few days.
How should I act on this next date (and all future dates)? What should my style of texting be? Should I just do the “I’m a lover” frame strategy? I feel like I have to approach this with more nuance than the typical “I’m a lover” strategy?
I have the gut feeling that we gotta at least kiss/makeout next time, if I want to avoid the LJBF-zone. I think I could definitely set a flirty vibe, but I anticipate that setting a SEXUAL vibe would be hard. For example, I likely could see us having one short kiss (and I likely could see her saying “LJBF” again afterwards), but I don’t think she’d be down to makeout/hookup. And I don’t want to be pushy about us getting physical, cause I want her to be comfortable, and I don’t want to seem like I’m not being understanding with her.
I’ve read this article but it doesn’t seem to cover the special scenario I just described.
Any advice about how to proceed?
Adam
