- Joined
- Jul 5, 2013
- Messages
- 182
At a bar with lots of college students last night and sitting next to the fence and start talking with the girl on the other side. We hit it off, she's a drummer and I get her number. Good warm up for the night. Unfortunately there aren't any other people I want to meet around so I go to another bar nearby. Here it is about the same, but then I spy an extremely cute blonde girl with tattoos and dread locks playing foosball. I grab my friend and challenge the girl, the blonde's friend, to a game. She accepts then grabs the blonde to play with us. It's too loud to talk and I'm terrible at foosball, though my friend is amazing and we win. Afterwards I open the blonde and it is successful and she is intrigued. She comes around the table and I don't lock in with direct eye contact until she is investing. She is now fully invested, asking me questions about myself and I get her phone number by saying "I don't like to talk to people in bars so much, but it would be cool to meet up another time someplace more relaxed. Here, put your number in my phone." She retorts "Oh, is that what you tell all the girls?" or something like that, and I respond "No, I'm actually really shy..." (said confidently, with a smirk, and direct eye contact). She enters her number in my phone (which she frames as in exchanged for my answer to her question about where I am from, which isn't bad) then I move her outside, leading her away from her friends, saying I was having trouble hearing her (she gives herself reputation protection by saying she wants to smoke a cigarette). The conversation is going well and I'm leading while she's following (physically and conversationally). We are dancing on the edge of what I sense will be a seriously good deep dive, as our passions correspond legitimately and she doesn't even know it yet, as I'm not answering her questions directly. A small bump happens when she sits down, I tell her to scoot over and she gets up instead and I sit down. She is standing while I am sitting, but it's not a huge problem since I just keep going as though nothing is off. She asks me if I travel much, I say "I do" then flip it back on her. But before she can tell me all about her travels her male friend who looks like a tattoo artist comes up and interrupts us right in that silence before her answer. He stands on the other side of her and she gives him her attention. After a few seconds I get up and quickly whisper in her ear "Hey, I'm going to go back to my friends." then bounce back to them. We then leave and I don't make eye contact with her as I pass, though I try and do the call me gesture jokingly while I'm exiting but I don't think she saw me do that, instead I suspect she just saw me eyeing her from her peripheries, which is not the greatest exit. Just texted her today saying "Hey Alice, cool to meet a fellow traveler in these parts 
-Oskar" but no response yet. The other girl actually texted me and I'll set up a date with her tomorrow. I don't want to write too much on this so I don't over-invest, especially since she is extremely attractive and cool, but here's hoping I have more to write on this in the coming days. Like what Chase says in "How to Think About Women as You Get More Experienced" I usually am in a mental state of detached curiosity, but with this girl I was feeling "driven passionate certainty"; that locked in feeling (and no, it wasn't because I was drunk, as I usually only have one drink then fill my glass with coke when I go out, and it was because it was "going really well with [this] girl [and I thought she was] really cute [and] sexy.").
If you don't want to pull a girl while you are at the bars but would like to meet her somewhere chiller, for whatever reason, saying you are shy (when you are projecting that you aren't by being direct and confident) and that you don't like talking to people in bars can be a useful frame for setting up a "real" interaction for another day. Come to think of it, you can say that then just continue doing your normal bar thing and she would be all the more impressed by it, not to mention thinking of you and her meeting outside of the bar later, which can only be good. At least, theoretically it makes sense, not sure about practically though yet. We'll see.
Cheers,
Oskar
-Oskar" but no response yet. The other girl actually texted me and I'll set up a date with her tomorrow. I don't want to write too much on this so I don't over-invest, especially since she is extremely attractive and cool, but here's hoping I have more to write on this in the coming days. Like what Chase says in "How to Think About Women as You Get More Experienced" I usually am in a mental state of detached curiosity, but with this girl I was feeling "driven passionate certainty"; that locked in feeling (and no, it wasn't because I was drunk, as I usually only have one drink then fill my glass with coke when I go out, and it was because it was "going really well with [this] girl [and I thought she was] really cute [and] sexy.").If you don't want to pull a girl while you are at the bars but would like to meet her somewhere chiller, for whatever reason, saying you are shy (when you are projecting that you aren't by being direct and confident) and that you don't like talking to people in bars can be a useful frame for setting up a "real" interaction for another day. Come to think of it, you can say that then just continue doing your normal bar thing and she would be all the more impressed by it, not to mention thinking of you and her meeting outside of the bar later, which can only be good. At least, theoretically it makes sense, not sure about practically though yet. We'll see.
Cheers,
Oskar
