I’ve been in a 15 month LDR forced by coronavirus restrictions, exclusive for 7, having seen each other 3 months prior casually. I broke it off as she left, but we ended up staying in touch – eventually, she pushed to be exclusive. Affectionate, submissive. Great sex. After years of pickup, she’s been my first LTR.
This was a conscious choice for me. I had always had the habit of letting relationships die until now due to waning interest. This just happened to feel right, even if most rational would say otherwise.
She asked me to choose a college for her for when she returned to the US this year. She wanted us to live together, but I declined. Said I didn't know if I would live in the US all of next year. Her investment remained sky-high until about 6 weeks ago - then, she started calling less. I broke things off. But she reached out and we reconciled soon after.
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In the last 2 weeks:
Investment has fallen off drastically. From electric frequent, to platonic rare convo. Now I get thrown shit-tests left and right. I've tried comforting, recognizing it may be an attainability issue. But no avail. Even though she calls, she seems uninterested and never wants to talk for long.
No effort has been made to return next month as we had discussed. I pushed to ask her plans, and she has not made any effort towards getting the required permission for early entry, meaning she will likely return 3 months from now instead.
She will tell me she loves me. She doesn’t want to lose me. But in the same breath – that she doesn’t want to talk to me every day anymore.
I was always the leader she admired. It no longer feels true. Recently she sent a dumb horoscope pic, reading “you will break up with someone close”, with a sad face “don’t want to believe it”. I can’t decide whether to withdraw or crack jokes anymore.
I trust my gut. I recognize she is deading me out. But I ultimately want to do what will save me a headache. Meet girls, maybe keep the door open if we cross paths down the line.
For peace of mind: in an established relationship, would you go NC, break up right away, or make a final push to communicate?
This was a conscious choice for me. I had always had the habit of letting relationships die until now due to waning interest. This just happened to feel right, even if most rational would say otherwise.
She asked me to choose a college for her for when she returned to the US this year. She wanted us to live together, but I declined. Said I didn't know if I would live in the US all of next year. Her investment remained sky-high until about 6 weeks ago - then, she started calling less. I broke things off. But she reached out and we reconciled soon after.
.................................
In the last 2 weeks:
Investment has fallen off drastically. From electric frequent, to platonic rare convo. Now I get thrown shit-tests left and right. I've tried comforting, recognizing it may be an attainability issue. But no avail. Even though she calls, she seems uninterested and never wants to talk for long.
No effort has been made to return next month as we had discussed. I pushed to ask her plans, and she has not made any effort towards getting the required permission for early entry, meaning she will likely return 3 months from now instead.
She will tell me she loves me. She doesn’t want to lose me. But in the same breath – that she doesn’t want to talk to me every day anymore.
I was always the leader she admired. It no longer feels true. Recently she sent a dumb horoscope pic, reading “you will break up with someone close”, with a sad face “don’t want to believe it”. I can’t decide whether to withdraw or crack jokes anymore.
I trust my gut. I recognize she is deading me out. But I ultimately want to do what will save me a headache. Meet girls, maybe keep the door open if we cross paths down the line.
For peace of mind: in an established relationship, would you go NC, break up right away, or make a final push to communicate?
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