Day 3 – 27/01
Today’s task was to make eye contact with at least 10 people. I did surpass comfortably that number, but not without its challenges.
First, I only slept like 3 hours due to felling sick with my stomach and intestines. Not sure what caused the problem yet, hopefully I’ll sleep / feel better by tomorrow. My head space was not at its best, especially after lunch, but I did reach my goal.
Second, making eye contact while I am the first at looking at the other person was not something I managed to do frequently. Most of the eye contact I’ve made were initiated by the other person first and then I’d return it. I tried on several occasions initiate it, looking at people for like 6-7 seconds (or at least felt like it) and they almost never returned it, not for long at least. Maybe I was doing it too timidly, what would they think if they saw some guy staring at them nonstop?
What I’ve noticed was that almost everyone seems to be in their own head, doing their thing pretty much on autopilot. Not sure how I’m going to approach girls that are in this state on the street. Maybe at some other locale or time. But there were times in the past where they actually seemed more approachable, even on the street. Even yesterday, when I was focused on training my posture and walk, some of them seemed to notice me more. Today I was a lot more tired, and I think my clothes did not combine very well with each other, too much black and dark grey, I needed something lighter, my fashion has a lot of room to improve. Tomorrow I’ll wear what seemed to work better in the past. Hopefully their reactions will be more akin to day 1 and 2, it’d be much easier to say hello to them.
So, here are some of the eye contact from today:
1. Right after I leave the house, a woman, possibly is its 30s was walking in the opposite direction, I tried to look at her, but just before my eyes reached hers, she just looks to the ground. I didn’t make eye contact. At the train station there was a pretty cute black girl, same age as me, I look at her, she was already looking at me, make eye contact, she looks to her right a split second later.
2. In the train, there was a white man, 40s I’d guess, a bit overweight, seemed to be looking at me for some reason, I look at him, make eye contact for like 2 seconds, he looks to the window.
3. A black guy, also in the train, same age as me, seemingly looking at me dead serious, nonstop, I look at him for a few seconds and then I break eye contact. He initiated eye contact and maintained it until I looked away. This one I actually question if he really was looking at me. His eyes seemed a bit unfocused. Maybe he was just looking past me. On the other hand, I saw through my periphery vision that he looked to the window shortly after I broke eye contact. Not sure what the deal was. Maybe he was doing this assignment. (lol)
4. Walking my way to university, I saw a man in his 50s walking in the opposite direction. I always had some difficulty initiating the eye contact. Not sure who initiated here. I look at him, he looks at me, he looks to the side and then down.
5. This one was pretty fun. I was having lunch by myself at the canteen, when I notice a cute blond girl with glasses, on the other side of the canteen, seemingly looking at me from the corner of her eyes. I look at her for a few seconds and then I look away. Should have hold it more. After that, she leaves the canteen and I think her head was pointed at me as she passes. Didn’t make eye contact with her again.
6. From here I begin to feel exhausted from the lack of sleep. I had some trouble remembering the ones from here if it wasn’t for phone notes. I notice some guy in his 50s looking at me as he drinks his coffee at an outdoor table. He looks away a second later.
7. Cute girl with some unique style, wearing sunglasses, walking in the opposite direction. I didn’t look at her immediately, only as she was a bit closer that I take a look at her. I don’t know if she was looking at me through those glasses. She did move her head down after I look at where her sunglasses are.
8. I try to initiate eye contact with a woman in her 40s, she doesn’t look at me for a while. She seemed to be looking at all directions, almost a bit desperately even. She did momentarily look at me before looks someplace else again.
9. Really beautifully woman, mid to late 20s I’d guess, looks to side immediately after I try to look at her. She looked like a career woman, dressed professionally so to speak and really sexy. Quite a bit out of my league I feel, currently.
10. Cute blond girl, looking at me at a café. Looks to the side a second later after I look at her.
11. Black girl talking on the phone, wearing a sexy top, I try to look at her as I pass, she looks away immediately.
12. Woman with curly hair, in her mid-30s to 40, I try again for actually initiate eye contact, looked at her for 5 seconds until she looks back at me and then immediately down. I think she looked at me after that but I didn’t look at her again.
13. Guy in his 40s, looking at me with an angry expression in his face, I look at him and a second later he looks away.
So that’s it. The reason I could write all of these was because I was taking notes in my phone as I was doing it. I could never remember all of these without that. I have no idea if girls look at me because they think I’m sexy or if I actually might be intimidating. Looking back at these, I might have exaggerated when began writhing this, the fact that few girls noticed me today. Not sure why sometimes I get negative like that. I did walk around for a while to get these though.
I didn’t get to train to manage social pressure of people returning the eye contact I initiate much. Hopefully I can say hello to 6 girls tomorrow. I need to go to sleep now.
