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FR  Lowering standards and Third Important Lesson Learned

TomGray

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2013
Messages
136
So after getting some advice from Franco, I decided to lower my standards and see if I can’t get laid first with a nice, cute girl before I try to seduce a man-eating stallion. I think that my sense of fashion has definitely evolved from where it was and that has probably been a big bonus in my approaches. I also got a haircut.

Tuesday
Girl 1: sitting at table in library. I approach and am easy enough. We get into good conversation. I make the mistake of sitting with the corner of the table between us instead of next to her. There is not much of a sexy vibe, she mentions boyfriend, I get number anyway (in a platonic way) and we depart.

To improve on: sexiness, tease more (not a great substitute for sexiness but every little bit helps)

Girl 2: coming back from class, I notice her in an alcove next to the stairs. I decide to walk back and approach. There is a bit of confusion as I assume she can’t hear me through her headphones but she can. This minor hiccup probably impacted the rest of the interaction. She answers all my questions politely but not with detail or enthusiasm and I realize that I’m probably just annoying her. I say “nice to meet you” and leave.

To improve on: just start talking, if she can hear you, she’ll listen. If she can’t, then she will naturally take out her headphones.

Today

Girl 1: waiting in line behind her, I tap her on the arm and SMOOTH AS BUTTER compliment her. We get to talking but her turn in line comes up and when it is my turn, she says bye and leaves.

To improve on: a better sense of timing to command her to stay

Girl 2: sitting down, before (or during) I say Hi, I see her smile at me when she looks up. I know that I was confident and I guess I looked good. We get on real well. She talks about growing up in the country and I say “What kind of mischief did you get up to in the country?” But I lose her when I get the number. I think I came off as gamey and insincere. I do get the number but I don’t think it will amount to anything. Searching for some help on the articles, I turn up something called “emotional cresting”. I’m going to have to work on timing her feelings more.

To improve on: work on transitions, be more sincere, and I am completely forgetting yes ladders! Don’t let the emotional crest pass simply because you haven’t talked enough yet or deep dived enough. Take advantage and lead.

Girl 3: walking to my car, I notice her walking to me. I decide to get back in the groove and approach her from the front. It was a little hard but I’m warming up again. My approach is a little shaky but we engage in conversation as we walk back to the school. I try to get her to open up about what she does for fun but she is acting boring. I do actually get the number but I doubt that it will lead to anything.

To improve on: sexier, more confident, smoother approach

Girl 4: I am on a ten minute break from class and head outside with the express intention of meeting a girl. I do indeed meet one 30 seconds after I exit the building. I think that she looked at me as I was coming down the stairs before I said anything because when I opened her, I was super smooth and she was as receptive as a radio. I am very close to her throughout the whole interaction and touch her here and there. I trip over my words a little which is a result of me talking and thinking a little quickly. Need to slow down.

I’ve been working on being teasing after all of NarrowJ’s examples and I do an okay job here. She says that if she can’t be an obstetrician, she’ll be a plastic surgeon. “Reconstructive?” “Whatever would be required of me” “Then breast implants, too?” “Ha, ha, yeah” “You like big boobs?” She laughs. “What do you do when you’re not playing with boobs?” She answers the question while laughing which is awesome to me because it means that I’m emotionally impacting her. I mention a meet-up, she mentions a boyfriend. Instead of saying that I don’t care that she has a boyfriend and framing myself as a gamey cad like I’ve done in the past, I say “It’s just a coffee, I’m not marrying you”. Not the best thing to say, but better than what I would have said before. I get the number and I do not extend my arms our for a hug, I just hug her anyway, cause I WANT TO.

To improve on: was the boyfriend mention just a test? Will see how this pans out. Be slow. Use yes ladder. Emotionally crest.

Summary: I have been ignoring girls’ emotions just to move forward with the deep dive template that has been set out. I think this is what is making me seem insincere. Emotionally crest.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
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