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LR  LR 2nd date lay, 2nd girl in as many nights

RodeoRyan

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 28, 2013
Messages
35
Here's a quick back story on this girl:
I was at pub trivia a couple weeks ago with some friends. After it had ended, I went to the bathroom, only to return to my table with my buddies handing me a note. The slip read, "You're cute! xxx-xxx-xxxx -Sam" (I actually wrote a post about why I think she gave me her number last month.) My friends told me that some girl came by and said to give the note to me.

Over the course of the next 2-3 weeks, we texted back and forth, constantly trying to set something up but everything kept falling through. We finally found a time to meet up for a quick margarita on a Wed afternoon - I couldn't stay long because I actually had to be back at my apt that night since another girl was coming over later.

-------------------------

Sexual Framing
Now, fast forward a couple weeks. We ended up setting up a meet at my place for last night (a Saturday night). The original plan was to have a drink or two at my apartment, then head to main st for the night. However, she made things much easier for me when she texted me the day before the meet and told me she'll have to work Sunday morning so she'd rather just stay in for the night and take it easy at my place. ;) Of course I had no problem with this.

She arrived and we just sat down at my table, had a few drinks and chatted a lil bit. I had just read a few GC posts about sexual framing/being sexual before she came over - something I'm working on getting better at - so I worked a lot of that into the conversation. It's truly amazing how this works! If you haven't read Ricardus's post on the 9 secrets to being a sexual man, it's a MUST READ!

Ego Depletion and Coming Up for Air - Getting her to stay the night
After a few drinks, it's getting close to midnight and she starts to plan ahead. As she's typing out a text to her roommate, she asks me, "So what time do you think I should tell my roommate to pick me up?" In the past, before reading GC as a regular, I would have been totally fazed here. This would have thrown me off so bad, and I probably would have told her a time for later that night and chalked it up as a loss. But not this time. Without hesitation I said back to her, "What time do you usually wake up when you have work at 11 AM?" She responded, "I usually wake up 30 minutes before I go to work." So doing some quick math, and giving her a grace period to get home, I said to her, "Then tell her to pick you up at 10 AM. That'll give you 30 extra minutes so you should definitely make it to work on time." It was THAT EASY!!! She told her roommate she'd call her tomorrow morning at 10 when she woke up.

So at this point, I know she's staying the night. Now all I needed to do was move her to my bedroom. I had already done all the "prep-work," like sexual framing, deep diving, getting her to stay, etc. It was mine to screw up now. I decided since she had just made a big decision, I would keep it light in the minutes that followed. Chase really delves into this in mega-detail in his post on ego depletion, but a key point he makes is to take breaks between hard sells - essentially, come up for air after she's made a big decision. So in the meantime, I decided to pull up some action photos of some of the puppies I've raised over the years. She melted. We finished our drinks and headed for bed.

Physical Escalation and Sex
As we get into my room, she finds my baby pictures, which I intentionally leave out on my desk (you can read my post on why I leave baby pictures on my desk if you want to see why/how I think it works). Once we're both in bed, I hit the lights and we immediately begin to passionately make out. About a minute later, I slip my hand up her shirt to get a feel for the level of resistance I'll get, if any. However, instead of resistance, she flips me over, gets on top of me, throws her shirt off and unclips her bra. In the meantime, I jokingly mutter, "Oh I see, we're each doing the work for ourselves..."[/i ]and proceed to take off my shirt. I flip her back over, unbutton her pants and she slides her pants and panties right off. Then she reaches for my pants, unzips them and pushes them down my legs. What a wild 2 minutes!

We're both naked now so I reach for a condom, but as I'm unwrapping it, she asks me, "Are you sure we should have sex?" I replied with a softly spoken yes and that's all it took. She slipped on the condom and slid me inside her. About 20-30 minutes in, she asked if I was almost finished. I told her I thought I was getting close and to give me a few more minutes. After about 40 minutes, she asked again and I told her that I wasn't any closer than I was 10 minutes prior. So she said I should take the condom off and that it was okay, she was on birth control, so long as I pull out. And to make the offer even better, she said, "Just let me know when you're gonna pull out and you can cum in my mouth." And yes, she swallowed. ;)

After Sex - More sexual framing
Afterwards, she told me she hadn't had sex with a guy in like 6 months and that she usually doesn't sleep with a guy so soon... When she said this, I immediately knew my sexual framing earlier that night had paid me HUGE DIVIDENDS, as I had done what no other guy previously could do with her! I gave myself a round of applause inside. She continued to tell me that she hopes I don't think she's a slut for having sex with me so early. Now, back before I started reading GC, if a girl told this to me, I would have had no idea what to say, causing her to believe that I really did think she was a slut and probably never to come back again.

But I'm a new me; I knew what to do this time, thanks to Ricardus. I told her how I think the word 'slut' is just a social judgment created BY WOMEN as a way to keep each other in check. I went further to point out that in my opinion, society tells women they have to present themselves in a proper way that doesn't allow them to express what they truly want; but that I applaud her for being so independent and taking what she wants. I even pointed out she did exactly that 3 weeks ago when she gave her number to me (also subliminally conveying the whole "it wasn't me" frame). Finally, I just told her that we are wired to act on our instinct and follow our emotions, and there's nothing wrong with that.

After I told her all of this, it was like the air in the room became fresher. You could tell I had just put her mind at ease. She suddenly felt so comfortable in my arms and any tension was gone. She even started talking about how she was going to come over several more times in the future so we could watch certain movies I mentioned I hadn't seen. It was like we had known each other for months.

In Conclusion...
As a result, I'm now TOTALLY sold on the idea of sexual framing. It works wonders and isn't terribly hard to do. I'm also sold on the idea that the sooner you have sex with a girl, the more likely you are to have a chance at a future relationship with her. I mean, as soon as we had sex, and once I set the right sexual frames, the connection between us was on a whole 'nother level. With the exception of one-night-stands, this is the quickest I've ever bedded a girl. Oh, and did I mention, she's the 2nd girl in as many nights!? Things are finally lookin' up, after a YEAR of reading/practicing/applying things from Girls Chase.

Persistence pays off

~ Cheers

P.S. If anyone is reading this and wants me to expand more on specifically how I used sexual framing with this girl, just post a reply and I'll elaborate as best I can.
 

Tyme2k

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 9, 2013
Messages
386
Great FR, I love it when the girl is into you and its so natural and fun.

I would like to hear specifics on your framing. This is something I'm working on personally right now.
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
Good stuff here, Ryan. This girl was planning on sleeping with you (assuming you didn't muck it up) before she arrived at your place! The important thing here was to just keep focused on your goal of keeping her in a sexual mindset, getting her clothes off, and getting the deed accomplished. Well done. =)

On another note,

We're both naked now so I reach for a condom, but as I'm unwrapping it, she asks me, "Are you sure we should have sex?"

I'm not sure if you saw my reply to your previous thread about "getting the condom on," but I still believe the best way to do this is to do it while you are already stimulating her to the point where she isn't even paying attention. I'll be honest -- you lucked out here that this girl was sold on sleeping with you from the beginning. When I was still learning how to properly physically escalate, there were TWO girls on two separate occasions that were completely naked with me in my bed that ended up not having sex with me because of the whole "reach for the condom" issue.

I would practice leaving an open condom wrapper in an area that you can reach it (such as under your pillow, in your pillow, or under your bed) and practice getting it on with one hand. Once you're capable of doing this, girls don't even stop to question you. It makes things go much more smoothly... ;)

Congrats on the lay, bro!

- Franco
 

RodeoRyan

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 28, 2013
Messages
35
Franco said:
This girl was planning on sleeping with you (assuming you didn't muck it up) before she arrived at your place!
You could be right, but I find this hard to believe entirely. I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that she planned to sleep with me even though she told me she's never slept with a guy so soon and that she hadn't even had sex in like 6 months... Even more, I had only ever spent MAYBE 1.5 hrs with this girl having a margarita 10 days prior.

What leads you to believe that she already had plans to sleep with me??

Franco said:
I'm not sure if you saw my reply to your previous thread about "getting the condom on," but I still believe the best way to do this is to do it while you are already stimulating her to the point where she isn't even paying attention.
First, yes I did get a chance to read your reply to my 'condom' post. I actually had the condom right there on my bed stand, under something, but easily accessible without even getting off of the girl. I really like the suggestion to have it pre-opened though, as this is where the "lag-time" occurs... I'll give that one a try next time.

Tyme2k said:
I would like to hear specifics on your framing.
When ever possible, I would work something involving sex into each new topic we discussed. I just made sure not to over do it, for obvious reasons.

Here are a few examples:
  • (1) One topic of discussion included our childhoods. So to move the convo to a sexual topic, we talked about when our parents gave us the "sex talk" when we were kids and what it was like. And then I would go into how well that advice worked saying something like, "And I bet you followed that no sex before marriage advice..." with a warm, sarcastic tone.
  • (2) Even further, still regarding parents, I like to ask girls how far they think their parents think they've gone with a guy. The answer I usually get is, "I think the most my parents think I've done is just kiss a guy." And they usually say it with a tone that conveys that they are open and willing to much more. Also, this gets the girl thinking subliminally about her past sexual encounters, something I like to call "priming"; you're putting images in her mind of what the 2 of you might do later.
  • (3) Another topic was about how neither one of us really knew how active our siblings' sex lives were. And then I ask the similar question, wondering how far they think their siblings think they've gone.
  • (4) Also, with a different girl the night before, we talked about how she went to a catholic school her whole life until college. I asked her how tough it was when trying to find a mate when everyone around you is judging you. Then we maybe talked about how everybody in her school was celibate and how it's the 21st century and so outdated to think sex is something that should be avoided.

There's really unlimited possibilities when trying to work a sexual frame into the conversation. You might just have to be a little bit more on your toes when you first start out.

I also like to get her thinking about her past sexual encounters in general. Once she's opened up these parts of her life to you, she will feel much more connected to you and like you know her so much more. It will also make it MUCH LESS LIKELY for you to get the "but we don't even know each other" line when you're escalating physically.

I hope this helps you out a bit man.

~ Cheers
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
What leads you to believe that she already had plans to sleep with me??

Ah, you know what, I kinda skimmed through the post -- I didn't realize you had a margarita with her on a prior day before she came over to your place. I thought she immediately came straight to your place just from the text message conversation. That would have been rather bold of her, and in that case, I would have assumed that her intentions would be clear. My bad there!

I'm actually having a second date like this myself on Wednesday... except the girl made it back to my place on the first date, but I had a few technical difficulties with the physical escalation. She was definitely interested though, and she's coming directly to my place Wednesday evening, so I should be able to close the deal there. ;)

Good job on moving things quickly and keeping up the sexual framing. It sounds like this won her over for you!

I really like the suggestion to have it pre-opened though, as this is where the "lag-time" occurs... I'll give that one a try next time.

Yup. This one makes a BIG difference. Just rip off the top of the wrapper so you can whip it out and stick on as quickly as possible. She won't even notice!

Cheers,

Franco
 

Landlord

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
119
spectacular post! Thanks for breaking it down in the format you did.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,055
Ryan-

Great job on this one. You clearly had the girl very attracted to you and very down for you.

RodeoRyan said:
What leads you to believe that she already had plans to sleep with me??

My reaction was the same as Franco's. The fact that she was drunk dialing you after you left for your date with the other girl is a very strong sign that she was not ready for the night to be over. She liked you enough to give you her number early on (which is pretty uncommon, and usually only happens if a girl already really likes you on sight), and drunk texted you later... it was pretty on. Which is good credit to you - your style, how you come across, how you affected this girl. Might also be that you are simply "her type" - I'm going to do a write up on this soon.

RodeoRyan said:
After about 40 minutes, she asked again and I told her that I wasn't any closer than I was 10 minutes prior. So she said I should take the condom off and that it was okay, she was on birth control, so long as I pull out. And to make the offer even better, she said, "Just let me know when you're gonna pull out and you can cum in my mouth." And yes, she swallowed. ;)

Good rule of thumb: the way women behave with you is the same way they behave with other men. So, if a girl INSISTS on condoms, you know she's pretty safe and you probably won't pick anything up going bareback, because if she insists with you, she's almost certainly insisting with every other man she sleeps with. Alternatively, if she freely invites you to NOT use condoms the first time you sleep with her... that's also almost certainly her modus operandi with other men. Being on birth control without having a committed boyfriend is another strong sign that girls like it raw from randoms, and are risky bets for going raw on. Just a little sex health FYI.

RodeoRyan said:
Afterwards, she told me she hadn't had sex with a guy in like 6 months and that she usually doesn't sleep with a guy so soon...

Well, do bear in mind that most girls stretch these numbers a fair bit. My first ever same-night lay was a girl who told me, after sex, "OMG, it's been soooo long for me since I last had sex," and I asked, "How long?" and she said, "Like TWO MONTHS!" and I said, "Wow, two months huh?" and she said, "Yeah... I mean, except for that guy two weekends ago... but the sex was REALLY bad, so he doesn't count!"

When I hear "like [certain amount of time]" and not just "[certain amount of time]" without the "like," I always assume it's stretching (and it usually is).

Also... staying on birth control for 6 months when you're totally celibate is not terribly common. Girls who are on birth control are usually using it for SOMETHING... and it's not usually that their periods are painful ;)

RodeoRyan said:
As a result, I'm now TOTALLY sold on the idea of sexual framing. It works wonders and isn't terribly hard to do. I'm also sold on the idea that the sooner you have sex with a girl, the more likely you are to have a chance at a future relationship with her. I mean, as soon as we had sex, and once I set the right sexual frames, the connection between us was on a whole 'nother level. With the exception of one-night-stands, this is the quickest I've ever bedded a girl.

Sexual framing is powerful stuff indeed.

Props on the back-to-back lays, Ryan - you've earned 'em. Many more to come!

Chase
 
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