Making Cold Approach More Efficient

[ProblemSolving]

Alek Rolstad beat me to the punch on this topic with this article:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/making-approach-picking-and-choosing-girls-meet

Found myself nodding in agreement the whole way through. Here's my spin on the same topic.

My first 3 cold approaches that I ever did all resulted in great interactions, phone numbers, and dates with little effort. I got intimate with the third one who ended up being a great long term girlfriend. I remembered thinking, "This cold approach business is so easy". Haha it is easy, when you know what to look for.

Fast foreword several years, I was still getting phone numbers, dates, and lays, but I was also seeing A LOT more rejection than what was comfortable. What was the deal? Had all my experience made me worse? Were those first 3 approaches beginner's luck? What changed?!

What changed was my reluctance to approach. For those first 3 approaches, I was terrified. I got eye contact with each girl at least 3 times each. Thoughts like, "She looked at you again. Was she looking at ME or something else? Just go talk to her you pussy", streamed through my head until I FINALLY approached. These girls were in the market for a new man and were waving me in hard for the landing.

As I got more comfortable with approaching, I began approaching girls with little to no approach invitations - guess what happened? Yep! A whole lot of girls with boyfriends and flakey numbers - what a piss off. Sure, if you approach enough you end up finding the girls who are single and looking, but you have to go through a lot of rejection to find them if you're not using your sense of observation.

But how do you find the girls that are looking for a new man in their life?

Step 1: Get your fundamentals handled: Look as good as possible, dress well, get a good hair cut, facial hair, etc

Step 2: Put yourself around a lot of girls. Girls have to SEE you in order for the interested ones to reveal themselves. This could be at transit stations, malls, bars, clubs, busy streets, anywhere where there are lots of girls.

Step 3: Put on a warm facial expression. Girls are lot more likely to hold eye contact and position themselves around you when you look warm, calm, and content, so put on a half smile.

Step 4: Patiently wait. Remember, most girls are not in the market for a new man, so many will pass by you without paying you a second glance. Don't get impatient and start swiveling your head around looking for interested girls. Stay relaxed, the interested ones will come.

What to look for:

- Girls positioning themselves close to you

- Girls that look at you more than once

- Girls that half smile back at you

- Girls that hold eye contact

Approaching without approach invitations is like hunting with a machine - you have to take a lot of shots to long one. When you approach with approach invitations, it's like using a sniper rifle - one shot, one kill, but you have to be a little patient.

 

[Smith]

I think it's still a number's game even if you use 'sniper' type of approach. It's just that the number is smaller and the odds are better.

 

[ProblemSolving]

It has long been my opinion that the only real skill a player needs is recognizing women who are looking for something exciting to come along and sweep them off their feet. I've been with twice as many women as I've ever "cold approached" and that's how...they always make the first move.

Agreed. Much of the time, the woman has chosen the man before he even opens his mouth to speak, but in HIS mind, what he said to her got him the girl.

I think it's still a number's game even if you use 'sniper' type of approach. It's just that the number is smaller and the odds are better.

True, sometimes there are false positives. Sometimes a girl just randomly stands next to you without wanted to be approached. It's not likely if she has seen you before hand, but it does happen. Sometimes a girl will look at you longer than usual because she finds you attractive, but she already has a man. You can't blame these girls for window shopping, since us guys do the same thing.

Furthermore, a lot of guys stare at girls with creepy expressions on their face which can cause girls to look at them more than once, but it's not because they are attracted, it's because they are assessing threats to their safety. This is why having a warm facial expression is so important.

 

[Seppuku]

Hi ProblemSolving,

What to look for:

- Girls positioning themselves close to you

- Girls that look at you more than once

- Girls that half smile back at you

- Girls that hold eye contact

I regularly get one of these, my problem being that I do not react fast enough to capitalize on it. It is usually very transient!

How do you deal with this?

 

[Inferno]

Seppuku, Well first you run after her and scream HI

jk

but just approach if you are getting her message
or if you think it could be

let me delve into a slippery slope fallacy

think about this

you see a cute girl
she looks kinda sad
you say, oh my ,your earrings are gorgeous.
She says thanks
and starts to smile agin
then she has a better day
that made her do better at work
then she gets a promotion
now she's on the way to her dreams
thanks to you.

 

[ProblemSolving]

I regularly get one of these, my problem being that I do not react fast enough to capitalize on it. It is usually very transient!

How do you deal with this?

Good question Seppuku. I can't count how many girls I've lost from being too slow on the draw. The hesitation is caused by approach anxiety. Your brain actively tries to convince you not to approach - what a dick. The easiest way to remedy this is to continually PROVE to your brain that nothing bad happens when you talk to strangers. Therefore, when you are at your hunting spot, fire off a few practice shots. Ask a few strangers, "Excuse me, do you know how to get to Main Station?" or "Excuse me, do you know what time the mall closes?" Honestly, it doesn't matter what you say, just say something. Once you've opened your mouth, you'll notice a huge decrease in anxiety. Instead of your brain trying to convince you not to approach, your brain encourages you to approach because it knows nothing bad will happen.

Once you've fired off some practice shots, I guarantee you'll be quick on the draw when that deer steps into the clearing. If you find yourself waiting around for a long time without any targets popping up, ask a stranger a question to keep yourself in a positive head space.